Life According To Amber Lynn Haner

*Amber's POV*

We came back home a week ago, and I was more than happy to finally re-dye my hair. I got the hair color remover, and now my hair's the same color as Ariana Grande's character in Sam and Cat. I love it.

Also since we've come home, it hasn't stopped raining. Our neighbour, Mrs. LaCasio, says we brought the British rain back home with us, but she's not complaining as it waters her plants.

This morning was no different, as it was raining heavily and there was a storm predicted for later on today. Once I was showered and dressed, I headed downstairs and found Dad sitting at the kitchen table looking awfully sad. I just guessed it was because of the rain.

"What's the matter?" I asked, going over and sitting next to him. Once I did, he put an arm around me and hugged me tight, so I knew there was bad news ahead.

"I don't know exactly how to tell you this..but your Gramps..he passed away this morning..baby I'm so sorry.." He replied gently, but I thought I was hearing things wrong.

"What do you mean? I was only talking to him yesterday.." My eyes were brewing with tears at this point, and my brain just wouldn't register the news.

"The old folks home where he's been for the past few months called me this morning to say he's gone. There was nothing the hospital could do. They tried, but he was just to weak.." I'd lost it at this point, and I was just a sobbing mess. I didn't even want to see what I looked like.

"No no no..he can't..no!"

"Amber, I'm sorry..he's gone.."

"But.." I hadn't cried this much since Mom passed away, and hadn't ever planned on crying this much ever again. It must've been a good twenty minutes before I'd gotten my shit together, and could talk again.

"Can..can I go back to Denver for the funeral?" I asked, staring out the window.

"Sure thing, I'd figured you'd want to. We'll leave tomorrow, as I think you need time to get yourself ready." Dad replied, rubbing my back.

I was just stunned. I didn't even know Gramps was sick..let alone dying. The last thing I said to him was that I issued him, and he responded with "I miss you too, honeybee. I'll always miss you, and I'll always love you". I didn't get to respond because my battery died, but reading it back, it's like he was saying goodbye for the last time. This all just hit me in the face like a tonne of bricks, and I couldn't even think straight.

-----

Ive spent a majority of the day on my own, trying to pull myself together, but it hasn't worked. I just kept thinking of the memories that we had, and I'd burst into tears all over again. I never even knew he was in an old folks home.

The rain hadn't let up either, and the storms kicked in. I sat numb and emotionless in my room watching them, the rain bashing against the windows, the trees bedding and snapping, I love all that stuff. I just don't love the damage it does.

I haven't eaten food all day, and if I had a minuscule appetite before, it's deteriorated even more by now. Food has just generally lost its appeal to my, and I haven't left my room since I found out. I just dont feel the need to.

"Are you ok?" Dad asked gently, sitting down next to me on the floor.

"No..it's just too much of a shock to digest. I just wish I Harvey gotten to say goodbye one last time.." I replied, barely audible. I dried up my tears with the same tissue I've been using on the all day, and continued to stare blankly at the rain.

"I know, I know. But he's finally reunited with Amanda, and that's what he wanted more than anything. They're both in better places now, I promise you that."

"I just..I-I can't.." I began crying all over again, and just wanted nothing more than to be dead myself now too.

"It's ok. Just try to cam down a bit, and you'll feel a lot better."

"I just want to go to sleep and wake up like nothing happened. This is just a fucking nightmare."

"Then just take a nap or something, it might make you feel better."

"Maybe.."

"It will, trust me. I'll be downstairs if you need me." He knows when I get sad, all I need is to be on my own. It's not that he doesn't care, he does, believe me. It's just that when I feel like the world hates me, I curl up into a ball and just take some time out by myself, and it works. But under these circustances, it'll take a lot longer to heal.

-----

I took another long shower, washing my hair this time and all of my make up (that my tears hadnt washed away). After my shower, I threw on my pyjamas and crawled into bed, putting on All Time Low - Straight To DVD. I didn't see much of it though, and when I was in limbo between half awake and half asleep, and I heard Dad come in and turn it off. He tucked me in and kissed the top of my head before leaving again, and I could slowly feel myself falling further and further into sleep.

I slept for twelve hours straight, and would've slept lager, had I not been going to Denver at 6am (I know five in the evening is mega-early to be going to bed, but I healthy jut didn't feel up to staying awake any longer).

Notes

Sorry for a shitty update, I've had a shitty day so it's had an affect on my writing :(

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