Insignificant

I looked at the sea of people in front of the large stage I stood on. There were screams, flashes of light and faces I've never seen before. I couldn't believe what surrounded me.
"Gates? Gates, quit thinking about who you're fucking after the show." I heard someone say in a joking tone. Finally, I looked over and saw Matt holding the microphone by his side, cocking his head to the side. His remark and slight smirk was a sign of him questioning if I was alright. I nodded, stepping forward to my own mic.
"M. Shadows, quit thinking about me fucking someone other than you." I looked over to our large family, and heard their laughter erode. Matt blushed some, ignoring my remark.
"Alright guys, this is our last song of the night for you, and we'd like to make this entirely for our guy Jimmy up above." I clenched my jaw, and clutched Jimmy's paper through my pants as I heard the words leave Matt's mouth. Stepping back from my mic, I felt an arm come around my waist. I jumped a little when I saw Zacky beside myself. I stiffened, and just continued backing up until we were surrounded by the dark shadows that were cast down once the single light shone in the middle of the stage.
"Zee, what the hell are you doing?" He never responded, but I guess he didn't have to. We all were emotional at this part of the show. Always. We were lucky if we didn't cry. I felt Zack's hand pulled at my side, making me nervous. I know no one could see us, but I knew his arm was around me, and that was enough to make me question things.
"Zack." He looked at me this time, and dropped his arm.
"Sorry. I forgot you were allergic to anyone who tried to do anything you think Jimmy would do." And with that he stormed off. Ouch. I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to know what the hell he was doing. He was being weird about it.
"Whatever." I said loud enough for him to hear. Almost immediately after he left, Johnny showed up.
"The fuck you want, you short shit?" I asked, feeling quite annoyed.
"Nothing," He started, sounding hurt. "Just wanted to know what was up."
"Nothing."
"Okay." I honestly just wanted to be home, drinking my ass off, and forgetting the world existed. I wanted to be in my own world, away from this one. I looked to Matt who'd just gotten done singing the second verse. I don't think I recalled a time I've sung even once since the accident, besides backup's, but for some reason, I felt something calling me.

I walked right up to Matt, taking the mic from his hands. He looked at me with questioning eyes, startled. The music continued, but I remained silent. I closed my eyes, letting the music soothe me. Jimmy's song was never composed, and I never showed any of he guys, so I was the only one who knew about it. I thought for a moment of how I could fix The Rev's words with the current song music playing. The melody was soft, and the tune switched from high to low, but it flowed together pretty well. I opened my mouth, and let the words come streaming out. I left my eyes shut, mainly because I didn't want to remind myself how many people were in front of me at the moment. It wasn't long before I felt Matt's hand soothe my back a little, and he began backing away. The more I sang, the more I felt my stomach churn and my voice became filled with passion. This song meant so much to me, and I'd kept it to myself for so long. It had been mine for so long. As the music began winding down, I felt as if I was becoming smaller and smaller until the world had consumed me, and I was just some tiny, pathetic thing on the ground, looking for a reason. I took a breath, and continued singing loud and clear. My voice had reached it breaking point, I believe, and I dropped to the ground, clinging to the guitar I never removed. The lights went off, to which I was thankful for, and the deafening silence screamed on. I began shaking, and I felt arms wrap around my body.
"Shh." I knew it was Zacky at my side. I squeezed his arms, and held my breath, convinced that I would stop crying if I didn't move.
"Stop crying, Haner. Your fuckin' eyeliner is going to smear, and you'll look like you're back in your 2005 days." I cracked a smile at what Zacky had said, and pushed away from him. That kid was weird, and he'd been acting strange lately, but he still knew how to make me smile.

Notes