Memories Remain
Chapter Eighteen
“How can you act like you dating Brian isn’t something terrible?”
“Because it isn’t, mom,” I replied for the fifth time, rolling my eyes at her, glad that she couldn’t see me. “I love him. You knew that when I came back.”
“What would your father say about this? He was never very fond of Brian and now that he’s dead you can’t even respect him.”
I bit back a huff and brought my fingers to my tempers, massaging them in order to calm down. “Don’t bring Dad into this,” I seethed. “He has nothing to do with Brian, or any of this for that matter. I came here to put an end to my own misery and my own regrets.”
My mother’s voice lowered to a mutter but I could still hear her perfectly when she spoke again. “He surely must be really happy.”
With blood boiling in my veins, I stood up from the steps at Brian’s front door, furious. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I shouted, losing the eventual composure that remained. “I’m not like you, Mom. I’m fucking not! I won’t live a life of grief forever. I mourned for way too long but it’s past time that we move on. I’m doing that, so why can’t you? It’s not like you two had a great relationship anyway. I bet you just can’t live with yourself knowing that Dad was never happy with you!”
My mind switched back to present when I felt a cold substance lick down my hand. My eyes dropped to the bowl with the yogurt cake mixture and I cursed as I realized the dough was dripping out onto the counter. “Shit.” I quickly stopped whatever I was doing and walked over to the sink to clean the paste from my hands.
It’d been two days since my birthday and my conversation with my mom still lingered in my brain. Albeit knowing that her words were ridiculous and made no sense, I still felt a slight pang of guilt rushing through me whenever I thought about my father. Would he really be upset with me? Was he squirming in his grave because of Brian?
“Babe, what the fuck happened?” Brian’s voice acted like another pull to reality. I glanced over at him, his shoulder leaning against the doorframe as he smirked at me. A chuckle escaped between my lips and I flinched at the chaos all over the counters. Shit was really messy.
Wiping my hands on a towel, I shrugged my shoulders. “I got a little distracted.”
“You need help?” He walked in and went straight to the bowl on top of the counter. When I realized the reason behind his eagerness to help, I quickly ran to where he stood and stole the bowl from his sneaky fingers. His face fell and he turned to me with his puppy dog eyes, making me laugh a little. “No way. Only after the c-”
“-cake is done,” Brian finished for me in a mocking tone. I narrowed my eyes at his childish manners and he stuck his tongue out, crossing his arms over his chest sulkily. “You’re a horrible person. Not feeding your boyfriend and all.”
I had to laugh hard at that, shaking my head. “I feed you well enough. You’re just too impatient. The cake needs to go into the oven and you’ll wait until it’s done,” I said firmly while he kept muttering to himself. Ignoring his rants, I dived my forefinger into the mixture and tasted it to see if the dough was good. As expected, Brian threw a tantrum when I did that and stalked toward me, trying to steal the bowl from my hands.
“How come you can taste and I can’t?”
I quickly wrapped my arms around the bowl, clutching it into my chest. “Brian, you’re gonna fucking let this fall,” I attempted to warn him between chuckles as he tried this way and that to snatch the bowl. He failed every possible way until he decided to circle his own arms around my waist from behind and started showering my neck with bites.
I cracked up laughing yet wincing as his teeth sank into my skin lightly, tickling the living shit out of me. Thrusting my back into his chest, I struggled to veer of his lips, but it was a hard task when I had my hands occupied. Eventually, the distraction became too much and my grasp on the bowl weakened, allowing Brian to take it from me with a victorious shout.
“You fucking bastard,” I hissed, supporting my weight on the counter next to me as I caught my breath. He smiled cheekily and buried almost half of his hand into the mixture before licking at his fingers. He hummed loudly, which sounded more like a moan than anything else, and I rolled my eyes. “You’re gross.”
“Am I?” he teased, setting the bowl aside and striding slowly in my direction. With a hand on my hip, I lifted an eyebrow defiantly. “Don’t give me that look. You know it only makes my boner get bigger.”
“Ah! Of course,” I smiled, still not wiping the look off of my face. He approached me, in his smooth kind of way, and his palm came up to my cheek, caressing my skin gently, before it went down to the side of my neck. His stomach and part of his chest brushed against my front and I inevitably held back a breath as I stare up into his chocolate brown eyes.
He licked his bottom lip and his thumb parted my lips. “You really do enjoy starting trouble, don’t you, Shorty?” As to prove his point, his hips were pushed against mine, his mouth nearing my ear and making the airs at the back of my neck rise. He was semi-hard and I groaned appreciatively. “Like that?” he asked in a low tone only for me to hear. His voice, tangled with lust, always made my insides go into twists.
“Yeah, baby. I do like it.”
And I did. But he still needed to pay for the dough he’d stolen from the bowl without my consent.
Bringing my hand down to where our bodies met, I palmed him through his dark jeans, feeling him harden a little bit more. His moans were a tricky thing, however, and I tried not to let it get to me. “Unfortunately, you have a class in about twenty minutes. You really need to get going.” I said, pulling away. His hand dropped from my neck just as his jaw went slack. I almost laughed.
“You’re funny,” he told me with no hint of glee. “You’re joking, right?”
I fought back a smirk. “Nope.”
“Oh, yes, you are.”
“Am not.”
“Baby… I’ll seriously fuck you right here and right now.”
That sounded so tempting, yet no more tempting than angry sex later. “You fucking won’t,” I spat back quickly, my lips curving into a small smile at the look on his face.Poor soul. “You need to go.” I patted his stomach and turned my attention back to the bowl. “Hope you liked the cake mixture.”
His dry chortle met my ears and I grinned to myself. “It’s payback, I get it now,” he stated. “I hope you know you’ll be fucked good and hard tonight when I’m finished at the store.” He gave my ass a slap and I suppressed a groan.
I said nothing still, feeling his presence right behind me. His hands gripped at my hips and his lips found my cheek. “You fucking tease,” he murmured against my skin before pressing a soft peck there and stepping back. I heard him fumble with keys and then he was falling beside me. “We have a meeting today, though, so I’ll only leave at 6 or 7 pm. Is that alright?”
Glancing up at him briefly, I nodded. “Yup. It’s fine by me.”
“If things go as planned, I might have something to tell you later.”
Alright, now I was curious. I spun around to face him and my forehead creased with a frown. “What?”
“You’ll have to wait. Now I have to go.” He leaned forward and planted a quick kiss to my lips before heading to the door. “Later, babe.”
“Who’s the teaser now?” I called back, frustrated.
He stopped at the front door, stretching his head to be able to see me. “At least you don’t have a fucking boner to hide from kids!”
“Don’t go grab your dick instead of the guitar,” I joked and he let out a hysterical laugh, muttering what it seemed to be bitch as well. The bastard.
I spent the rest of the day at his house, watching TV and doing his laundry because he definitely needed it. A huge amount of clothes was piled behind his bedroom’s door for God only knows how long and I could stand it no more. He could thank me later.
It was a little past five when my phone buzzed from my lap. I took a quick glance and saw Brian’s nickname Asshole <3 flashing on the screen. With a smirk, I accepted the call and bent up my knees on the couch “Yo.”
“Babe, how long do you take to get here in the store?” he asked abruptly making my eyebrows shoot up. I pondered a little bit, keeping in mind that I needed to get my ass ready first and then get a taxi.
“Thirty minutes, I guess. Why?”
“We’re going out to that diner across the street. I want you to come.”
“Okay.” I dragged the word slowly, taken aback by the bluntness of Brian’s speech. Was something wrong? “I’m gonna hurry up. I’ll see you in a few?”
“Sure,” he replied before we said our goodbyes and hung up. I cocked an eyebrow, bemused, but stood up from the couch nonetheless to take a quick shower.
To say that I was slightly nervous about his sudden meeting would be an understatement. Something was off with Brian and I hoped it wasn’t anything bad. I didn’t need any more problems than the ones already nipping at my head. The taxi driver was an old man that didn’t shut up the whole ride, yet I barely paid him any heed.
My thoughts were everywhere as I made my way toward the store. The bell rang above my head and five pairs of eyes fixed on me. “What’s up, guys,” I greeted, only to breathe in relief when they all smiled and relaxed. Thank God. Brian grinned softly at me when I approached him and his arm quickly found his place around my back. I kissed his cheek, aware of the gazes still lingering on me, and placed the container with my cake on top of the counter. “What the fuck is wrong with you, creeps?”
“We must talk,” Jimmy informed me strictly, but the goofy grin was the assurance I needed not to get unnecessarily worried. “We have matters of great importance to discuss.”
I chuckled at the serious posture. “Aye, Sir.”
Laughing, Jimmy pranced up to me and stole me from Brian to give me a bone crushing hug. “Isn’t she adorable?” The guys all shared a laugh and shook their heads as the lanky tall man filled my hair with kisses. Brian playfully tugged me to him and snarled at his best friend.
“You’re such idiots,” I snickered, pulling away from both of them. I fixed my hair and nodded to the door. “Are we going or what?”
“Yes, we better,” Matt smiled, showing off his adorable dimples.
“I brought cake!”
“That’s why she’s our best friend.” The guys laughed at Zacky’s statement as we headed out.
Waiting on the sidewalk for Zacky to lock the door, I realized I was yet again the only woman amongst the guys. “Where are the girls? Why am I always the only one who has to put up with your ugly asses?”
Brian’s arm was draped around my shoulders and he leaned closer. “Admit it,” he prompted, “you love it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Johnny cut in, eyes shifting to mine. “You have four handsome men to choose from and you pick that fucking ugly wip.”
“Shut up, Short Shit. You’re just jealous I’ve got the girl and you only have your hand,” Brian smirked, making the pumping gesture. I nudged his side to scold him and he slapped my ass in return, grabbing a good hold of it.
I chuckled, fighting back a smirk as I swatted his hand away. “Jerk.”
“I actually have the girl as well, you dumbass.”
All eyes fell on Johnny and Jimmy shook his shoulders, lips spreading into a huge smile. “You finally got the balls to make a move?” The little man tried to hide the grin, but when he nodded his head and we threw a fit of cheers, his face lit up as he beamed wide.
“Aw, that’s so sweet,” I cooed. Zacky sidled up to the other side of me then, where there was no Brian, and looked down at me quizzically. “Luna is officially part of the family,” I answered his silent question.
His emerald eyes widened in honest surprise and he replaced Jimmy’s place to slap Johnny in the back. “So Johnny is not virgin anymore,” he stated only to be punched in the shoulder by the short man. The guys fell in a swirl of laughter while Johnny cursed under his breath, even if so with a smile.
As we resumed our way to the diner, I stayed back with Johnny asking him some questions about his new relationship. Now that they were a couple I wondered if Luna was still going to attend his classes. Although it wasn’t forbidden to date their students, if not under eighteen, they still had a reputation and morals to keep.
“We’re gonna keep it professional inside the class, but outside I can do whatever I want,” he clarified with a shrug of his shoulders. “She’s rad. I really want this to work. Yesterday we were just chilling at my place, you know, playing a few chords and all, and… I mean, it doesn’t get better than this, right?” I smiled warmly at him. Johnny was so deep in love, it was adorable.
The lunch went out well, with the usual smart-ass comments and picking. Johnny was the main attention, of course, especially after his little announcement, yet Jimmy fell right behind because of Jane. The poor soul was still mourning over my best friend, claiming to be heartbroken and empty.
Still, I couldn’t forget about the reason we were gathered here. They wanted to talk to me and had yet to mention anything. I was starting to get really annoyed and fidgety in my seat, my patience draining out of me with each second. Resting my cheek on Brian’s shoulder, I groaned. He turned his head to me, lips twisting upwards. “What?” he laughed shortly.
“Are you guys spilling your guts or do I need to fucking beg?”
“As much as the vision of you begging seems enticing to me, I think your torture will come to an end soon enough,” he stated.
I huffed some more and retrieved from him, crossing my arms on the table. It wasn’t until one hour later that Zacky cleared his throat and all of the guys exchanged weird glances with each other. My ears perked up, almost like a dog, and I straightened up, done with the waiting.
“Do we tell her now?” Matt asked as he roamed his hazel eyes over each one of the guys.
“Yes, you tell her now!” I shouted. I was keen to know what this was all about. Brian nodded at Matt and spun his upper half to me so he was facing me, a knowing smile etching at his lips. “So?…” I prodded.
“Remember when you told me that you could use a part-time job?”
We’d gotten home from our dinner on my birthday when we had the most serious conversation. We had both laid all cards on the table, telling each other how we really felt about everything, and truth be told, I felt like someone had lifted a huge weight out of my shoulders. It did us good to be completely honest for the first time since I’d returned.
Once I gave Brian my acknowledge, he continued. “So I talked to the guys and, well, you know how much we hate the job at the store. We were thinking that you could be our salvation. You don’t have to work full time at the beginning. We see how it goes and then… we adjust whatever is necessary.”
“How does that sound?” Zacky added quickly.
I was lost for words for a couple of moments. All of the guys were staring at me expectantly but my mouth kept still while my brain worked a hundred a mile. Were they really serious? With a short chuckle I brought my hands to my cheeks. “Oh my God.”
“Is that a yes?”
Brian wrinkled his nose, unsure. I grabbed his face and gave him a long, loud kiss on his lips. “It’s a big yes!” I said breathlessly. “Thanks, guys! I don’t even know what to say.”
Zacky laughed curtly from beside Brian and stretched his arm behind him to high five me. I smacked my hand to his and kissed Brian again, this time on the cheek. He smiled at me and patted my knee before resting his palm there. “When do you want to start?”
“Tomorrow?” I giggled.
***
It was late when Brian drove me back to the hotel. I ended up staying with him and Zacky at the store so they could explain everything about the store and answer eventual questions I might have. Most of the things and papers were taken care of and now only experience would speak for me.
I was thrilled to be working at a music store. It fascinated me being surrounded by CDs and vinyls and magazines and instruments. Their place was absolutely amazing and I couldn’t ask for a better opportunity. I was just scared to disappoint them and let their name down. Brian kept assuring me that I was perfect for the job and people would love me and would want to come back, yet it didn’t erase that queer pinch at the pit of my stomach completely.
I threw myself onto the bed after discharging my purse carelessly on the floor. My face was buried in the pillow as I lied down on my belly, and Brian chortled from somewhere in the room. It wasn’t long before I felt the bed deepen next to me and an arm was wrapped around my back. Brian brushed my hair to one side of my neck and placed his lips on the other.
I turned to him and he pressed a kiss to my lips before laying his head beside mine, his hand skimming under my shirt and drawing undefined paths on my back. “You ready for tomorrow?” he queried softly.
“A little nervous.”
“It’s gonna be okay. You just have to promise me that if some guy hits on you, you’re gonna punch him straight in the face.”
I burst out laughing and rolled onto my back, Brian’s hand now moving onto my stomach where it continued its delightful work. “I’m gonna do worse than that.” Brian’s warm breath fanned over my skin as he chuckled once again, and I looked at him with a defiant and assured gaze. “They better not mess with me,” I threatened.
“Hm-hm.” He nodded, leaning in for another set of light feather kisses, starting on my collarbone, going up my neck, and finalizing on my awaiting lips. “They better,” he murmured against them. By that time, he was already hovering over me, and I wounded my arms around his neck, wanting to taste more of his lips. However, Brian pulled back with a reluctant sigh.
At the scowl on my face, he smiled softly. I propped up on my elbows as I saw Brian lying down to my previous position, staring up at the ceiling.
“Fuck Cancer Foundation called us today.”
I moved onto my side and rested my head on my hand. “What did they want?” I asked, both confused and curious. The way Brian had cut off the teasing vibe made me understand this was a sensitive subject and it had probably been wandering in his head for a while. He needed to talk about it and he chose me to hear him out.
“They want us to pull out a charity event.”
My eyes widened in wonder and a contained grin tugged at the corners of my lips. “But that’s great!” When Brian didn’t say anything, the smile fell from my face. “It’s not?”
He tilted his head toward me. “We have to play too.”
“You mean Avenged Sevenfold needs to play at the event?”
With a single nod, Brian confirmed my statement. His hands went behind his head and his legs crossed over one another. I frowned. “How is that bad? I thought you liked to play guitar and jam with the guys.”
“I…” He shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face before threading his fingers into his hair. I sat up as I realized this was serious. “We haven’t played for a few years now. Like… Four or something.”
“Wow…” it was all I could manage. But when there was no further explanation, I knew I had to push for him if I were to understand the reason behind his hesitance upon this subject. “Can I ask why?”
He let out a loud sigh and rose to a sitting position much like me. He leaned back against the headboard, though, while I opted for crossing my legs on my lap. I waited for a few seconds and when he locked his eyes with mine I could see the anguish swirling inside. “I got really angry when everyone decided to quit the band.”
Wait. What?
Brian offered a small laugh but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know I told you it was a unanimous decision, but it wasn’t,” he went on. “Not for me, though. I was still pretty upset about your leaving and the band was all I had. It was where I could lay all my frustrations, all my anger, all my sadness, you know? And when Matt came to me one day and said he wanted to go to college, I freaked out. Zacky and Johnny sided with Matt and it was only Jim and I.
“Obviously we couldn’t pursue a band with just the two of us. So it was the end of Avenged Sevenfold as a solid band. We played occasionally, we recorded the third tape in that time, but…” he paused, eyes downing to his lap with a certain pain that made me ache for him. “I got so pissed off. I couldn’t do it anymore. Until today.”
We were both silent for a few minutes. Every once in a while I’d peek up at him but he remained quiet as a statue. “You ready to play now?” I asked and he shrugged his shoulders. “I’d love to see you guys throw a hell of a show.”
Brian swept his gaze up to mine, an honest smile now playing on his features. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely. I know it must be hard for you to reminisce all those feelings but it’d be awesome if you guys pulled that out.”
“Would you fangirl and scream for me?”
I giggled and crawled toward him, settling against his side. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I kissed his cheek. “I might,” I teased. The grin stayed on his lips and I got myself more comfortable in his embrace. “I’m happy you opened up to me about this.”
“It was only fair after our agreement about always being honest with each other two days ago,” he said standing out a good point.
We discussed this proposal for a few more minutes and by the end of it Brian was much more enthusiastic and excited about it, which had been my main goal from the beginning. He had to understand that this was a good thing and they should definitely go for it.
However, that cheery mood vanished with one simple question about my Mom. I knew Brian hadn’t meant to bring me down with that topic, but it was inevitable. “I don’t really wanna talk about it. Things are not okay. She calls but I’m really tired of her nasty comments about our relationship.” Brian’s face contorted with a look of sympathy but I shook my head. I didn’t want to be pitied. “It’s fine, babe.”
“It’s clearly not.”
“There’s just no point arguing,” I insisted. “She always excuses herself with my Dad and it’s getting ridiculous.”
Brian’s fingers trailed down my arm and he rubbed my skin sweetly, comfortingly, though it hardly eased the clench of my heart when I thought about everything. “Yeah, I get it, baby. It’s tough and you don’t need that right now. Is there anything I can do?”
“I don’t think so.”
“A kiss? They say a kiss can heal everything.” I couldn’t help but laugh, even if only a little, as Brian swiftly pushed me down underneath him and peppered my face with small, chaste kisses. “Now that’s something I like to see.”
I grabbed his cheeks and squeezed them a little. “You’re really silly, you know that?”
“Proudly,” he smirked. “Can I stay here tonight? You need hugs and cuddles because you’re sad.”
“I’m not sad.”
“You are too.”
“Brian,” I groaned.
“Okay, okay! I got it.” He kissed my lips with a sigh. “I can tell when I’m not wanted.”
I rolled my eyes. “Really now?”
“You break my heart.”
“Stop being a drama queen,” I laughed as I hit his chest playfully. He smiled and gave me a passionate kiss, his hand cradling my face while his thumb stroked the curve of my cheekbone. I melted into his touch instantly and held onto the back of his shoulders, roaming my palms up and down his clothed back until I closed my arms around his torso and hugged him to me.
With a light snicker, he planted a kiss on my temple before hugging me back. I buried my face into his neck, nuzzling against his warm skin, as his arms escaped under my back. “If you need anything you’ll tell me, right?” he whispered and I nodded, still not showing any signs of wanting to move away. “Look at you, all hugs and affection.”
I grinned to myself and tightened my hold on him even more. “I can be nice to you sometimes too.”
Brian pulled back, smiling, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes again at the way he was staring at me. He was such a mushy little shit. I couldn’t complain. “I do remember, though, someone being a funny little tease this morning,” he pointed out.
“Oh, you do?”
He gave my bottom lip a playful bite while he bobbed his head up and down. “Oh, yes.”
Tracing his bicep with my fingers, I danced my eyes between his soft lips and his brown eyes. “You gonna do something about it?” I droned, and his smirk edged the corner of his lips.
After Brian left two hours later, I dove into a large shirt and put on my panties. I returned to the bed and turned on the TV to cut the silence. There weren’t many channels to choose from, and much to my dismay, there was nothing interesting playing either. I stopped on a documentary, yet my mind was quick to drift off to some other place.
My Mom’s words still lingered in my ears. What would your father say about this?What would he? I didn’t want to know. I loved my Dad, truly I did, but he could be harsh sometimes. Especially when it came to boys, and Brian. From the day my parents met Brian and some of the guys, they had been more controlling over me.
“Lara…”
I sucked in my own intake of breath and my movements ceased; my head emptied. And then, like a distant whisper, my name echoed again in the room. The tiny hairs on my arms crippled up as chills shot down my spine.
“Lara…”
With my breaths becoming more labored, I slid my legs off the mattress. “Is anyone here?” I asked, and just as the words left my mouth, I felt like smacking my own head. There was no one here! But the voice…
I stood up, my heart pounding in my ears, the sound so loud I feared I couldn’t hear anything else around me. But I did. This time, my name came out louder, stronger, angrier. My eyebrows knitted together at the center of my forehead as I followed the strangely familiar voice. Still hesitant, I made my way toward the bathroom. The lights were off, so I flipped the switch and looked inside. Nothing.
“I knew it!” Someone shouted from behind me. I jumped ten feet high and a shrieked scream fell from my lips as I turned around and saw the person standing there. Tears pooled behind my eyes and I covered my mouth with both of my hands, shaking. “I knew that Brian was dangerous.”
“D-Dad?”
“Hi, sweetie.”
“N-No. You’re dead,” I choked, instinctively stepping away from my Dad’s figure. It couldn’t be real. He couldn’t be real. “How…”
He moved closer and I marched back with a step of my own. I tried keeping the distance but my heart was heavy, the fear striking me like venom, and my feet stopped moving. I tried but they wouldn’t even budge. “Don’t run from me. I can’t hurt you. I can’t hurt Brian either,” my father said, yet all I could do was shake my head. Tears were streaming down his face, I could see, his words drawled when uttered, dragged out slowly. Was he drunk? “He took you from me,” he went on. I still couldn’t move and he only got closer, yet never enough to reach me.
“My beautiful baby. SAVE ME!” His face was on me now, screaming, growling, and I yelled too, not sure why, not sure how. I turned my head to the side, but his breath hit me like a storm. “LEAVE BRIAN! LEAVE HIM!” I couldn’t take it anymore and I covered my ears, closed my eyes, so tightly it made my head hurt. And when I thought I was going to faint, I jolted awake, sweat dripping down my forehead, my neck soaked and my heart racing furiously within my chest.
I let out a sob. I couldn’t breathe. My throat felt constricted, my eyes pricking with tears. It took only a blink of an eye to have those fat droplets of salty water to slide down my cheeks. Soft whimpers dribbled from my lips and I realized I was shivering all over, even though I was drenched in sweat.
“It’s just a nightmare…” I told myself through tears. “Just a fucking nightmare.”
Although a little shaky and sleepless, I knew I had to make an effort to rest until the morning after. It’d be my first day of work at the store and I couldn’t look like shit. I kept repeating in my head that nightmares were only nightmares and that I had to stay calm. The TV was still on, I realized, so I groped for the controller and turned it off before burying myself within the covers.
It wasn’t easy to fall back asleep. The first couple of hours went by slowly and I tossed and turned in the bed. Now I wished Brian had stayed. Eventually, my body couldn’t take the exhaustion any longer and I succumbed into a rather peaceful slumbering.
Came morning and I was far from ready to face the store. A few more hours in my bed would be more than welcomed, but unfortunately I had duties now. Looking like a zombie, I got up and decided on a hot shower to wash the dried sweat crawling up my skin and the black circles from under my eyes.
I felt much cleaner once I stepped out of the bathtub, and for a moment, I actually felt thrilled about the day. I wrapped a white towel around my body and padded out back into the bedroom to get dressed. I was rummaging through my messy piled of clothes when I heard a knock on the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone and it was too early for the cleaning ladies.
With a sigh, I hurried to the door. “Who’s it?”
“Service room.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled as I pulled the door open. “What’re you doing here?” I asked, one hand on the knob and another against the doorframe.
Brian smirked upon seeing me in just a towel and stepped a little closer. “Good morning, beautiful,” he said cheerily. “This turned out much more enjoyable than I first thought.”
Slapping his arm, I chuckled and moved inside making sure to leave the door open. He followed behind me and closed the door gently before plopping down onto the bed. “You still didn’t answer my question,” I stated as I crouched down next to my suitcase. Maybe it was time to unpack.
“I’m taking you to work. Doesn’t that sound awesome? Work?”
I glanced at him and snickered again at the silly smile on his lips. “You woke up on the right side of the bed today?”
He scoffed. “Since when do I wake up on the wrong side? I’m not like you, miss grumpy.” I threw him a shirt and he laughed, catching it and holding it to his chest. “See? You didn’t even give me a good morning kiss.”
God!
I stalked toward him and he sat up faster than possible, puckering his lips out and making me laugh whole heartedly. “You’re the goofiest asshole ever.” I brushed my lips against him in a soft but firm kiss, and when I pulled away, he sent me an even cheesier smile.
“Sleep good?” he queried and I froze for a split of second.
“Uh, yeah, I guess.”
When I was about to turn around from him, his fingers circled around my wrist and he stopped me. I hesitantly lock my eyes with his and I saw the doubt flashing across his irises. “You sure?”
I forced out a smile and nodded with my head. “Yes. I’m just a little nervous.”
He seemed to buy my answer and let go of me so I could go get ready. In thirty minutes we were exiting the hotel and heading for the store. Zacky was already there because he was giving a class and had to organize his things, so while he was on that, Brian gave me another short explanation of how everything worked.
“Alright, I’m ready!” I told Brian as I took a deep breath. “I’m officially taking the role of employee.”
He chuckled a little and raised his palm to me. I high-fived him and went behind the counter where there was a laptop and a few papers that weren’t important for now, according to Brian. “You’re replacing me today, just so you know. Don’t ruin my image, please,” he teased, folding his arms over the top of the counter.
I cocked an eyebrow. “Right. At most, I’m bettering your image.”
“Baby, you’re hot, but nothing compares to this,” he said, thrusting his thumbs to himself, as his lips molded into a smug grin. I only shook my head and dropped down onto the comfortable chair, sighing in content.
The store remained calm and empty for a while, so Brian took the opportunity to go to the back room. The place was a mess, he had said, and it needed some cleaning. He came back quickly, though, but what I didn’t see right away was the CD in his hand. I stood up when he approached the counter and he stretched his arm in my direction.
Before asking any questions, I accepted the CD. I turned the object in my hand and read the handwritten words on its back, smiling softly afterwards. “Wow.” I lifted my gaze to Brian. “The second tape of Avenged Sevenfold.”
“I figured that since we’re gonna play together again as a band, you should know the rest of the songs. So here it is…”
“Is there any forbidden song or…”
“Um…” Brian hesitated a little, scratching the stubble on his chin. “I wouldn’t say forbidden, but I worked on some lyrics, yes.”
I nodded, getting what he meant. “It’s alright. I can’t wait to listen to it,” I confessed and he let out a nervous laugh. I pursed my lips together and narrowed my eyes slightly. “You can’t be that reluctant to show me this.”
His brown eyes softened at my words and he silently asked for my hand, holding his out for me. I placed my palm on top of his and he squeezed his fingers around it, searching for my eyes. “You have to understand that these CDs show my most vulnerable state. All I was feeling when you left is right there.” I gulped, seeing the truth behind his gaze. “It’s a pretty big deal to me to give you this and, yes, it’s fucking nerve wrecking to know that you’ll hear it all.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
The bell of the store went off and I instantly looked over there. “Now give me a kiss and show me that you fit this job,” Brian said in a low voice. We both leaned over the counter and shared a short, sweet peck, before I went to assist the customer. It was a tall man, probably in his thirties, and apparently he was looking for an old Black Sabbath album.
Unfortunately, there were none available, but with Brian’s help we managed to order a few copies from the record company, and the CD should be here in a week. A handful of more clients entered the store after that and I did my first and second sale. I was beaming by the time the last customer left and Brian couldn’t help but chuckle at my enthusiasm.
“I think you’ll do fine here,” he admitted with a lopsided smile from where he stood at the magazine section. I pranced toward him and wrapped my arms around his middle. Laughing at the unexpected hug, he held me close and dropped a kiss on top of my head. “How do you like this so far?”
“It’s awesome,” I replied without hesitating. “I never thought it’d be so cool. Thanks.”
He moved away just enough to look down at me and sighed softly, tucking my hair behind my ears before cradling my cheeks in his hands. “I’m glad,” he smirked, smoothing his palms down my shoulders and arms. When he bowed his head a little to kiss me, I faced away from him and gave a step back. “Aw, come on,” he grunted, not the tiniest pleased.
I shrugged my shoulders, fighting back a smile. “I’m working.”
The bell rang again just as the words came out and I spun around. It was only Jimmy. “Hey, Peanut Head.” He grinned, involving me in his embrace as soon as he came close. I giggled and patted his back so he wouldn’t crush my bones. He got the hint and pulled away, going to greet Brian with a one-armed hug. “What’s up? How’d your first day going?” Jimmy directed to me, hands shoving into his back pockets.
“Amazing!”
“Great! Fucking finally we don’t have to be stuck here,” he grinned, blue eyes shining with delight as he nudged Brian’s side for further emphasis. “By the way, we have to call Fuck Cancer Foundation today to give them our final answer.”
Brian shifted on his feet a little, rubbing the tip of his nose. “Yeah…”
Jimmy appeared oblivious to what was going on and raised his arms high, head thrown back and eyes closed. “The Reverend Tholomew Plague is coming back!” he said in a raspy, intimidating voice.
I grimaced and a confused chortle escaped between my lips. “What is that?” I asked.
“His stage name,” Brian replied, his own lips curving absently. At the puzzled look on my face, he disappeared into the back room and returned with an old photograph. “Remember these young, reckless kids?” He showed me the picture of the guys back in his early teenage years. They were so bad I cringed at the sight, still not containing the laughter that climbed up my throat.
“Oh, boy. Who are they?” I joked.
“Yeah… we had stage names. All of us, don’t you remember?” I tilted up my head to look at him and he raised his eyebrows expectantly, but I shook my head. “Jimmy was The Rev. Matt was M. Shadows-”
It finally hit home what he was saying and I burst out laughing, remembering all those awful names. “Oh, my God, yes. Zacky was… how was it- uh… wait- Vengeance!” I said excitedly. However, I didn’t remember Brian’s name. No matter how much I thought about it, I could not form his name in my head. Johnny was Johnny Christ, easy, but Brian I had no idea. “What was yours?”
His mouth opened wide for a moment. “How do you not know? I’m offended right now,” he choked, bottom lip sticking out into a cute pout. “You remember Zack’s and not mine?”
“Vengeance is my favorite word,” I said as a way of excusing myself. “If I had a band I’d choose that name as well, that’s why I know.”
Eyes narrowing, Brian crossed his arms. “Yeah, yeah.”
Jimmy was still lost in his own little world, muttering things none of us dared to understand.
I bit my bottom lip and rested my hands on his arms, gazing up at Brian. He could say he was mad and pissed off, but the only way I’d know he was telling the truth was if I looked him straight in the eye. Those two round orbs could not lie even if Brian tried. And right now, as we stared into each other’s eyes, I could see the softness of his gaze. “Come on, just tell me,” I said.
“Promise you won’t laugh?”
Oh, boy.
I smirked, not sure if I could keep such promise. “I’ll try.”
He waited a few seconds and then let out a sigh, knowing there was no way he could run from this. “Synyster Gates.”
I tried, I really did. Though, it took only one of Brian’s chuckles to unleash the fit of laughter that grew within me no sooner did he say that horrible name. I kept laughing out loud and had to hold myself onto the closest wall to keep myself from falling on the floor. “Synyster Gates! Ah!” I felt tears in my eyes.
“You’re mean…” it was all Brian could say while I almost gutted out my stomach with the laughter. “Jesus. Who needs enemies when I have my girlfriend.”
“What happened?” Jimmy queried as he saw me recovering, amusement swirling over his face. It seemed he had finally snapped out back to us.
“Oh, baby.” I wiped at the corner of my eyes as the commotion subsided for simple giggles. “The worst name…”
Brian sniffled. “Thanks.”
“Awn.” I walked over to him and kissed his lips before hugging him around his neck. He did the same around my waist until his hand came down to smack my ass. “I still love you. Even with that ugly stage name.”
Jimmy gave a sound of realization and came to us, circling his arms around both Brian and I. “Yeah, he was drunk when he came up with that,” he explained.
Brian chuckled, embarrassed, and slapped my ass one more time before we all pulled back. “Synyster Gates is not happy.”
***
The more I worked at the store, the more I enjoyed being there. It was this type of distraction that I’d been craving, and it was doing me good. At least, during the day. When the night fell and I found myself back in my hotel room alone, I’d lose my shit. The nightmares had become a constant company while I slept and I couldn’t say they were meaningless.
It was as if it escalated to worse places from day to day. They started to look scarier, darker, much more real, involving many more people, including Brian and, always, my Dad. I would wake up sweating and panting, and more often than not, crying. It was tiring and I didn’t know how much more I could handle without collapsing from exhaustion.
Now I had to cover the black circles under my eyes with makeup if I didn’t want any of the guys to start asking things. Brian was hard to deceive and he had asked me more than twice if I was resting well. I’d assured him that everything was perfect, and on the that first occasion he actually bought it. However, he wasn’t a fool.
On Johnny’s birthday, I refused to spend the night with Brian and we almost got into an argument. I eventually gave in and slept at his house, not wanting to fight with him. It was the first night without nightmares and it was confusing. The nightmares came with the guilt. Being happy with Brian made me think about my father and what he’d say about it all, so how didn’t I have nightmares that night?
On the following days, and up until now, the routine resumed and I was clueless about what to do.
Sighing, I dragged myself to the back room. I had started to take care of the paperwork, and since it was a rainy day, the store had been empty the whole morning. I grabbed what I needed and walked back out, almost crashing into someone. “Oh, hey, baby.”
I smiled the first smile of the day upon hearing Brian’s voice and leaned up on my tiptoes to kiss him. He held my face in his hands, not letting me go until I was out of breath. I gasped once it was over and looked up at him with wide eyes. “What was that?” I chuckled lightly, appalled.
“I miss you,” he said with a frown. “Are you staying with me tonight?” Brian didn’t even give me time to reply as he pulled me into another heart melting kiss, his palms warm against my skin. “Please?”
“Fine, you silly,” I said with another giggle as I pushed past him and took my place behind the counter again. “So do you have a class right now?”
“If you talked to me more you’d know,” he remarked and I felt the sting in his words.
I slumped my shoulders in defeat, knowing perfectly well that he was right to act that way, and sent him an apologetic smile. “I know, I’m sorry.”
“Make up to me today.”
“I will,” I smirked, but that little glint of pain in his eyes didn’t disappear completely with my answer, and my lips straightened into a tight line again. I didn’t like it when he was serious because it meant things weren’t exactly fine. “Are you mad?”
“No, baby.” His voice faded into a sigh and he ran a hand through his spiked hair. “I just… I just miss you, I guess. Last time we were really together was more than a week ago and it seems you’ve been avoiding being alone with me.”
I shook my head repeatedly and rounded the counter, meeting him. “No, no, it’s nothing like that, Brian, I promise,” I said desperately. “I’m still adjusting to the store, that’s all.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.
His hands were placed on my shoulders and he squeezed them to ease the tension. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Brian sounded so concern, it made me feel bad. “You can talk to me.”
“I am. I promise.”
Searching for any signs of a lie in my eyes, Brian nodded with his head, accepting my reasons. “Okay. Then bring something sexy for me today, will you? I miss that pretty little body of yours.”
Finally! Now that the playful Brian was back again, I could smile in relief. “You can bet on it.”
I was so glad that tomorrow was my day off. I moaned appreciatively as Brian attacked my neck with nips and wet kisses, working me up for the third time that night. He’d been restless from the moment he’d opened his front door to let me in. We did it on the couch and in the kitchen while the dinner was cooking, and now that our energy was recharged, we were back in the action, this time in his bedroom.
“God, what’s going on with you tonight?” I struggled between moans and shallow breaths. His hands roamed my sides with such delicacy that I felt like my body was melting against the mattress. His lips trotted up my jaw and down to my chin, and I threw my head back, giving him full access to my throat. Brian nuzzled the area softly before clamping his teeth down softly, releasing another moan from me.
“I told you I missed you.”
“And here I was thinking that you missed our talks.”
I felt him smirk against my skin and then he was leveling up to me again, catching my lips in a slow sensual kiss, his tongue tangling with mine with a burning passion. I circled my arms around his neck and threaded my fingers through his soft hair, pulling at his spikes and making him moan into the kiss. He pulled away, mouth open to recover his breath, and rested his forehead to mine. “I’m more interested in making love to you now than talking.”
I cracked my eyes open, sliding my hands down to the sides of his neck. “You had enough fucking for today?” I teased.
His chest trembled with a curt laugh and he met my gaze. “Don’t tempt me. The night is young.”
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I knew Brian’s arms had been tightly around me and his chest so hot against my back. I was beyond tired and when my eyes fell close I didn’t fight the sleep, not for a second. I wish I had.
September 10th 2000 - Eight years ago
I couldn’t believe I was Brian’s girlfriend. I couldn’t believe I had a boyfriend! I looked to my right at Brian and down to our united hands as we walked back home, and a feeling of pure joy filled my heart in that moment. My lips broked into a huge smile.
“What’s that face?” he asked with a teasing tug on my hand.
“Nothing.”
He gave my cheek a kiss and dropped my hand to wrap is arm around my shoulders. “That is not nothing.” I glanced up at him, feeling his gaze on me, and he pulled his lower lip between his teeth. I followed the movement closely until his laugh brought my eyes back to his brown ones.
I elbowed him lightly on his ribs. “What’re you laughing at?”
“Nothing,” he mocked and we both erupted with laughter, continuing our way to my house. Brian insisted to keep me company, saying that a lady shouldn’t walk alone in the middle of the night, but I knew better. I didn’t mind him wanting to be with me, though. On the contrary, I actually appreciated, even if it was still a strange feeling for me.
As we neared the house, red and blue lights flashed in front of us and I furrowed my eyebrows. “Wow, man. Cops,” Brian stated. And the closer we got, the clearer it became that the two police cars flashing lights were right at my door, which was open I realized.
I slunk away from Brian and ran inside, calling for my Mom. She was in the living room, her bloodshot eyes brimming with tears no sooner did they acknowledge me. On the other side stood two policemen and my heart rate inevitably increased. I stayed in the middle of the room, though, still as water, afraid to know whatever had happened. “What’s going on?” I asked in a murmur, looking between my mother and the Cops.
My Mom approached me slowly and lowered her hand to rub my back, her attempts to quiet her own sobs failing. “Your D-Dad.”
With my breaths coming out ragged and shaky, I felt the fear of the truth creeping up on me. “What about Dad?” I blurted in a hurry. I looked around and he was nowhere to be seen and panic settled within me, until I recalled that he was only meant to return tomorrow. “Did he do anything wrong?”
My mother shook her head and brought the tissue crumpled in her fist to her nose. “No, honey. Your Dad was in a car accident,” she whimpered as more tears flowed down her face. I stepped back, nonplussed, my back hitting against something and my feet tripping on themselves, or so I thought. I turned around only to find Brian right behind me, a subdued look on his face.
“What?” My head shot in my mother’s direction again. “Is Dad okay, Mom? Does he need surgery or-”
“Lara,” Brian cut me off tenderly, his hands grasping onto my arms so I would spin back around. My mother’s cries intensified and Brian was just torn as he pulled me into a comforting hug. I didn’t understand. “I don’t think your Dad survived, baby.” His voice was barely audible but those words hit me like a brick.
“What?” I gasped.
His arms tightened around me. “I’m sorry.”
“Because it isn’t, mom,” I replied for the fifth time, rolling my eyes at her, glad that she couldn’t see me. “I love him. You knew that when I came back.”
“What would your father say about this? He was never very fond of Brian and now that he’s dead you can’t even respect him.”
I bit back a huff and brought my fingers to my tempers, massaging them in order to calm down. “Don’t bring Dad into this,” I seethed. “He has nothing to do with Brian, or any of this for that matter. I came here to put an end to my own misery and my own regrets.”
My mother’s voice lowered to a mutter but I could still hear her perfectly when she spoke again. “He surely must be really happy.”
With blood boiling in my veins, I stood up from the steps at Brian’s front door, furious. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I shouted, losing the eventual composure that remained. “I’m not like you, Mom. I’m fucking not! I won’t live a life of grief forever. I mourned for way too long but it’s past time that we move on. I’m doing that, so why can’t you? It’s not like you two had a great relationship anyway. I bet you just can’t live with yourself knowing that Dad was never happy with you!”
My mind switched back to present when I felt a cold substance lick down my hand. My eyes dropped to the bowl with the yogurt cake mixture and I cursed as I realized the dough was dripping out onto the counter. “Shit.” I quickly stopped whatever I was doing and walked over to the sink to clean the paste from my hands.
It’d been two days since my birthday and my conversation with my mom still lingered in my brain. Albeit knowing that her words were ridiculous and made no sense, I still felt a slight pang of guilt rushing through me whenever I thought about my father. Would he really be upset with me? Was he squirming in his grave because of Brian?
“Babe, what the fuck happened?” Brian’s voice acted like another pull to reality. I glanced over at him, his shoulder leaning against the doorframe as he smirked at me. A chuckle escaped between my lips and I flinched at the chaos all over the counters. Shit was really messy.
Wiping my hands on a towel, I shrugged my shoulders. “I got a little distracted.”
“You need help?” He walked in and went straight to the bowl on top of the counter. When I realized the reason behind his eagerness to help, I quickly ran to where he stood and stole the bowl from his sneaky fingers. His face fell and he turned to me with his puppy dog eyes, making me laugh a little. “No way. Only after the c-”
“-cake is done,” Brian finished for me in a mocking tone. I narrowed my eyes at his childish manners and he stuck his tongue out, crossing his arms over his chest sulkily. “You’re a horrible person. Not feeding your boyfriend and all.”
I had to laugh hard at that, shaking my head. “I feed you well enough. You’re just too impatient. The cake needs to go into the oven and you’ll wait until it’s done,” I said firmly while he kept muttering to himself. Ignoring his rants, I dived my forefinger into the mixture and tasted it to see if the dough was good. As expected, Brian threw a tantrum when I did that and stalked toward me, trying to steal the bowl from my hands.
“How come you can taste and I can’t?”
I quickly wrapped my arms around the bowl, clutching it into my chest. “Brian, you’re gonna fucking let this fall,” I attempted to warn him between chuckles as he tried this way and that to snatch the bowl. He failed every possible way until he decided to circle his own arms around my waist from behind and started showering my neck with bites.
I cracked up laughing yet wincing as his teeth sank into my skin lightly, tickling the living shit out of me. Thrusting my back into his chest, I struggled to veer of his lips, but it was a hard task when I had my hands occupied. Eventually, the distraction became too much and my grasp on the bowl weakened, allowing Brian to take it from me with a victorious shout.
“You fucking bastard,” I hissed, supporting my weight on the counter next to me as I caught my breath. He smiled cheekily and buried almost half of his hand into the mixture before licking at his fingers. He hummed loudly, which sounded more like a moan than anything else, and I rolled my eyes. “You’re gross.”
“Am I?” he teased, setting the bowl aside and striding slowly in my direction. With a hand on my hip, I lifted an eyebrow defiantly. “Don’t give me that look. You know it only makes my boner get bigger.”
“Ah! Of course,” I smiled, still not wiping the look off of my face. He approached me, in his smooth kind of way, and his palm came up to my cheek, caressing my skin gently, before it went down to the side of my neck. His stomach and part of his chest brushed against my front and I inevitably held back a breath as I stare up into his chocolate brown eyes.
He licked his bottom lip and his thumb parted my lips. “You really do enjoy starting trouble, don’t you, Shorty?” As to prove his point, his hips were pushed against mine, his mouth nearing my ear and making the airs at the back of my neck rise. He was semi-hard and I groaned appreciatively. “Like that?” he asked in a low tone only for me to hear. His voice, tangled with lust, always made my insides go into twists.
“Yeah, baby. I do like it.”
And I did. But he still needed to pay for the dough he’d stolen from the bowl without my consent.
Bringing my hand down to where our bodies met, I palmed him through his dark jeans, feeling him harden a little bit more. His moans were a tricky thing, however, and I tried not to let it get to me. “Unfortunately, you have a class in about twenty minutes. You really need to get going.” I said, pulling away. His hand dropped from my neck just as his jaw went slack. I almost laughed.
“You’re funny,” he told me with no hint of glee. “You’re joking, right?”
I fought back a smirk. “Nope.”
“Oh, yes, you are.”
“Am not.”
“Baby… I’ll seriously fuck you right here and right now.”
That sounded so tempting, yet no more tempting than angry sex later. “You fucking won’t,” I spat back quickly, my lips curving into a small smile at the look on his face.Poor soul. “You need to go.” I patted his stomach and turned my attention back to the bowl. “Hope you liked the cake mixture.”
His dry chortle met my ears and I grinned to myself. “It’s payback, I get it now,” he stated. “I hope you know you’ll be fucked good and hard tonight when I’m finished at the store.” He gave my ass a slap and I suppressed a groan.
I said nothing still, feeling his presence right behind me. His hands gripped at my hips and his lips found my cheek. “You fucking tease,” he murmured against my skin before pressing a soft peck there and stepping back. I heard him fumble with keys and then he was falling beside me. “We have a meeting today, though, so I’ll only leave at 6 or 7 pm. Is that alright?”
Glancing up at him briefly, I nodded. “Yup. It’s fine by me.”
“If things go as planned, I might have something to tell you later.”
Alright, now I was curious. I spun around to face him and my forehead creased with a frown. “What?”
“You’ll have to wait. Now I have to go.” He leaned forward and planted a quick kiss to my lips before heading to the door. “Later, babe.”
“Who’s the teaser now?” I called back, frustrated.
He stopped at the front door, stretching his head to be able to see me. “At least you don’t have a fucking boner to hide from kids!”
“Don’t go grab your dick instead of the guitar,” I joked and he let out a hysterical laugh, muttering what it seemed to be bitch as well. The bastard.
I spent the rest of the day at his house, watching TV and doing his laundry because he definitely needed it. A huge amount of clothes was piled behind his bedroom’s door for God only knows how long and I could stand it no more. He could thank me later.
It was a little past five when my phone buzzed from my lap. I took a quick glance and saw Brian’s nickname Asshole <3 flashing on the screen. With a smirk, I accepted the call and bent up my knees on the couch “Yo.”
“Babe, how long do you take to get here in the store?” he asked abruptly making my eyebrows shoot up. I pondered a little bit, keeping in mind that I needed to get my ass ready first and then get a taxi.
“Thirty minutes, I guess. Why?”
“We’re going out to that diner across the street. I want you to come.”
“Okay.” I dragged the word slowly, taken aback by the bluntness of Brian’s speech. Was something wrong? “I’m gonna hurry up. I’ll see you in a few?”
“Sure,” he replied before we said our goodbyes and hung up. I cocked an eyebrow, bemused, but stood up from the couch nonetheless to take a quick shower.
To say that I was slightly nervous about his sudden meeting would be an understatement. Something was off with Brian and I hoped it wasn’t anything bad. I didn’t need any more problems than the ones already nipping at my head. The taxi driver was an old man that didn’t shut up the whole ride, yet I barely paid him any heed.
My thoughts were everywhere as I made my way toward the store. The bell rang above my head and five pairs of eyes fixed on me. “What’s up, guys,” I greeted, only to breathe in relief when they all smiled and relaxed. Thank God. Brian grinned softly at me when I approached him and his arm quickly found his place around my back. I kissed his cheek, aware of the gazes still lingering on me, and placed the container with my cake on top of the counter. “What the fuck is wrong with you, creeps?”
“We must talk,” Jimmy informed me strictly, but the goofy grin was the assurance I needed not to get unnecessarily worried. “We have matters of great importance to discuss.”
I chuckled at the serious posture. “Aye, Sir.”
Laughing, Jimmy pranced up to me and stole me from Brian to give me a bone crushing hug. “Isn’t she adorable?” The guys all shared a laugh and shook their heads as the lanky tall man filled my hair with kisses. Brian playfully tugged me to him and snarled at his best friend.
“You’re such idiots,” I snickered, pulling away from both of them. I fixed my hair and nodded to the door. “Are we going or what?”
“Yes, we better,” Matt smiled, showing off his adorable dimples.
“I brought cake!”
“That’s why she’s our best friend.” The guys laughed at Zacky’s statement as we headed out.
Waiting on the sidewalk for Zacky to lock the door, I realized I was yet again the only woman amongst the guys. “Where are the girls? Why am I always the only one who has to put up with your ugly asses?”
Brian’s arm was draped around my shoulders and he leaned closer. “Admit it,” he prompted, “you love it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Johnny cut in, eyes shifting to mine. “You have four handsome men to choose from and you pick that fucking ugly wip.”
“Shut up, Short Shit. You’re just jealous I’ve got the girl and you only have your hand,” Brian smirked, making the pumping gesture. I nudged his side to scold him and he slapped my ass in return, grabbing a good hold of it.
I chuckled, fighting back a smirk as I swatted his hand away. “Jerk.”
“I actually have the girl as well, you dumbass.”
All eyes fell on Johnny and Jimmy shook his shoulders, lips spreading into a huge smile. “You finally got the balls to make a move?” The little man tried to hide the grin, but when he nodded his head and we threw a fit of cheers, his face lit up as he beamed wide.
“Aw, that’s so sweet,” I cooed. Zacky sidled up to the other side of me then, where there was no Brian, and looked down at me quizzically. “Luna is officially part of the family,” I answered his silent question.
His emerald eyes widened in honest surprise and he replaced Jimmy’s place to slap Johnny in the back. “So Johnny is not virgin anymore,” he stated only to be punched in the shoulder by the short man. The guys fell in a swirl of laughter while Johnny cursed under his breath, even if so with a smile.
As we resumed our way to the diner, I stayed back with Johnny asking him some questions about his new relationship. Now that they were a couple I wondered if Luna was still going to attend his classes. Although it wasn’t forbidden to date their students, if not under eighteen, they still had a reputation and morals to keep.
“We’re gonna keep it professional inside the class, but outside I can do whatever I want,” he clarified with a shrug of his shoulders. “She’s rad. I really want this to work. Yesterday we were just chilling at my place, you know, playing a few chords and all, and… I mean, it doesn’t get better than this, right?” I smiled warmly at him. Johnny was so deep in love, it was adorable.
The lunch went out well, with the usual smart-ass comments and picking. Johnny was the main attention, of course, especially after his little announcement, yet Jimmy fell right behind because of Jane. The poor soul was still mourning over my best friend, claiming to be heartbroken and empty.
Still, I couldn’t forget about the reason we were gathered here. They wanted to talk to me and had yet to mention anything. I was starting to get really annoyed and fidgety in my seat, my patience draining out of me with each second. Resting my cheek on Brian’s shoulder, I groaned. He turned his head to me, lips twisting upwards. “What?” he laughed shortly.
“Are you guys spilling your guts or do I need to fucking beg?”
“As much as the vision of you begging seems enticing to me, I think your torture will come to an end soon enough,” he stated.
I huffed some more and retrieved from him, crossing my arms on the table. It wasn’t until one hour later that Zacky cleared his throat and all of the guys exchanged weird glances with each other. My ears perked up, almost like a dog, and I straightened up, done with the waiting.
“Do we tell her now?” Matt asked as he roamed his hazel eyes over each one of the guys.
“Yes, you tell her now!” I shouted. I was keen to know what this was all about. Brian nodded at Matt and spun his upper half to me so he was facing me, a knowing smile etching at his lips. “So?…” I prodded.
“Remember when you told me that you could use a part-time job?”
We’d gotten home from our dinner on my birthday when we had the most serious conversation. We had both laid all cards on the table, telling each other how we really felt about everything, and truth be told, I felt like someone had lifted a huge weight out of my shoulders. It did us good to be completely honest for the first time since I’d returned.
Once I gave Brian my acknowledge, he continued. “So I talked to the guys and, well, you know how much we hate the job at the store. We were thinking that you could be our salvation. You don’t have to work full time at the beginning. We see how it goes and then… we adjust whatever is necessary.”
“How does that sound?” Zacky added quickly.
I was lost for words for a couple of moments. All of the guys were staring at me expectantly but my mouth kept still while my brain worked a hundred a mile. Were they really serious? With a short chuckle I brought my hands to my cheeks. “Oh my God.”
“Is that a yes?”
Brian wrinkled his nose, unsure. I grabbed his face and gave him a long, loud kiss on his lips. “It’s a big yes!” I said breathlessly. “Thanks, guys! I don’t even know what to say.”
Zacky laughed curtly from beside Brian and stretched his arm behind him to high five me. I smacked my hand to his and kissed Brian again, this time on the cheek. He smiled at me and patted my knee before resting his palm there. “When do you want to start?”
“Tomorrow?” I giggled.
***
It was late when Brian drove me back to the hotel. I ended up staying with him and Zacky at the store so they could explain everything about the store and answer eventual questions I might have. Most of the things and papers were taken care of and now only experience would speak for me.
I was thrilled to be working at a music store. It fascinated me being surrounded by CDs and vinyls and magazines and instruments. Their place was absolutely amazing and I couldn’t ask for a better opportunity. I was just scared to disappoint them and let their name down. Brian kept assuring me that I was perfect for the job and people would love me and would want to come back, yet it didn’t erase that queer pinch at the pit of my stomach completely.
I threw myself onto the bed after discharging my purse carelessly on the floor. My face was buried in the pillow as I lied down on my belly, and Brian chortled from somewhere in the room. It wasn’t long before I felt the bed deepen next to me and an arm was wrapped around my back. Brian brushed my hair to one side of my neck and placed his lips on the other.
I turned to him and he pressed a kiss to my lips before laying his head beside mine, his hand skimming under my shirt and drawing undefined paths on my back. “You ready for tomorrow?” he queried softly.
“A little nervous.”
“It’s gonna be okay. You just have to promise me that if some guy hits on you, you’re gonna punch him straight in the face.”
I burst out laughing and rolled onto my back, Brian’s hand now moving onto my stomach where it continued its delightful work. “I’m gonna do worse than that.” Brian’s warm breath fanned over my skin as he chuckled once again, and I looked at him with a defiant and assured gaze. “They better not mess with me,” I threatened.
“Hm-hm.” He nodded, leaning in for another set of light feather kisses, starting on my collarbone, going up my neck, and finalizing on my awaiting lips. “They better,” he murmured against them. By that time, he was already hovering over me, and I wounded my arms around his neck, wanting to taste more of his lips. However, Brian pulled back with a reluctant sigh.
At the scowl on my face, he smiled softly. I propped up on my elbows as I saw Brian lying down to my previous position, staring up at the ceiling.
“Fuck Cancer Foundation called us today.”
I moved onto my side and rested my head on my hand. “What did they want?” I asked, both confused and curious. The way Brian had cut off the teasing vibe made me understand this was a sensitive subject and it had probably been wandering in his head for a while. He needed to talk about it and he chose me to hear him out.
“They want us to pull out a charity event.”
My eyes widened in wonder and a contained grin tugged at the corners of my lips. “But that’s great!” When Brian didn’t say anything, the smile fell from my face. “It’s not?”
He tilted his head toward me. “We have to play too.”
“You mean Avenged Sevenfold needs to play at the event?”
With a single nod, Brian confirmed my statement. His hands went behind his head and his legs crossed over one another. I frowned. “How is that bad? I thought you liked to play guitar and jam with the guys.”
“I…” He shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face before threading his fingers into his hair. I sat up as I realized this was serious. “We haven’t played for a few years now. Like… Four or something.”
“Wow…” it was all I could manage. But when there was no further explanation, I knew I had to push for him if I were to understand the reason behind his hesitance upon this subject. “Can I ask why?”
He let out a loud sigh and rose to a sitting position much like me. He leaned back against the headboard, though, while I opted for crossing my legs on my lap. I waited for a few seconds and when he locked his eyes with mine I could see the anguish swirling inside. “I got really angry when everyone decided to quit the band.”
Wait. What?
Brian offered a small laugh but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know I told you it was a unanimous decision, but it wasn’t,” he went on. “Not for me, though. I was still pretty upset about your leaving and the band was all I had. It was where I could lay all my frustrations, all my anger, all my sadness, you know? And when Matt came to me one day and said he wanted to go to college, I freaked out. Zacky and Johnny sided with Matt and it was only Jim and I.
“Obviously we couldn’t pursue a band with just the two of us. So it was the end of Avenged Sevenfold as a solid band. We played occasionally, we recorded the third tape in that time, but…” he paused, eyes downing to his lap with a certain pain that made me ache for him. “I got so pissed off. I couldn’t do it anymore. Until today.”
We were both silent for a few minutes. Every once in a while I’d peek up at him but he remained quiet as a statue. “You ready to play now?” I asked and he shrugged his shoulders. “I’d love to see you guys throw a hell of a show.”
Brian swept his gaze up to mine, an honest smile now playing on his features. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely. I know it must be hard for you to reminisce all those feelings but it’d be awesome if you guys pulled that out.”
“Would you fangirl and scream for me?”
I giggled and crawled toward him, settling against his side. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I kissed his cheek. “I might,” I teased. The grin stayed on his lips and I got myself more comfortable in his embrace. “I’m happy you opened up to me about this.”
“It was only fair after our agreement about always being honest with each other two days ago,” he said standing out a good point.
We discussed this proposal for a few more minutes and by the end of it Brian was much more enthusiastic and excited about it, which had been my main goal from the beginning. He had to understand that this was a good thing and they should definitely go for it.
However, that cheery mood vanished with one simple question about my Mom. I knew Brian hadn’t meant to bring me down with that topic, but it was inevitable. “I don’t really wanna talk about it. Things are not okay. She calls but I’m really tired of her nasty comments about our relationship.” Brian’s face contorted with a look of sympathy but I shook my head. I didn’t want to be pitied. “It’s fine, babe.”
“It’s clearly not.”
“There’s just no point arguing,” I insisted. “She always excuses herself with my Dad and it’s getting ridiculous.”
Brian’s fingers trailed down my arm and he rubbed my skin sweetly, comfortingly, though it hardly eased the clench of my heart when I thought about everything. “Yeah, I get it, baby. It’s tough and you don’t need that right now. Is there anything I can do?”
“I don’t think so.”
“A kiss? They say a kiss can heal everything.” I couldn’t help but laugh, even if only a little, as Brian swiftly pushed me down underneath him and peppered my face with small, chaste kisses. “Now that’s something I like to see.”
I grabbed his cheeks and squeezed them a little. “You’re really silly, you know that?”
“Proudly,” he smirked. “Can I stay here tonight? You need hugs and cuddles because you’re sad.”
“I’m not sad.”
“You are too.”
“Brian,” I groaned.
“Okay, okay! I got it.” He kissed my lips with a sigh. “I can tell when I’m not wanted.”
I rolled my eyes. “Really now?”
“You break my heart.”
“Stop being a drama queen,” I laughed as I hit his chest playfully. He smiled and gave me a passionate kiss, his hand cradling my face while his thumb stroked the curve of my cheekbone. I melted into his touch instantly and held onto the back of his shoulders, roaming my palms up and down his clothed back until I closed my arms around his torso and hugged him to me.
With a light snicker, he planted a kiss on my temple before hugging me back. I buried my face into his neck, nuzzling against his warm skin, as his arms escaped under my back. “If you need anything you’ll tell me, right?” he whispered and I nodded, still not showing any signs of wanting to move away. “Look at you, all hugs and affection.”
I grinned to myself and tightened my hold on him even more. “I can be nice to you sometimes too.”
Brian pulled back, smiling, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes again at the way he was staring at me. He was such a mushy little shit. I couldn’t complain. “I do remember, though, someone being a funny little tease this morning,” he pointed out.
“Oh, you do?”
He gave my bottom lip a playful bite while he bobbed his head up and down. “Oh, yes.”
Tracing his bicep with my fingers, I danced my eyes between his soft lips and his brown eyes. “You gonna do something about it?” I droned, and his smirk edged the corner of his lips.
After Brian left two hours later, I dove into a large shirt and put on my panties. I returned to the bed and turned on the TV to cut the silence. There weren’t many channels to choose from, and much to my dismay, there was nothing interesting playing either. I stopped on a documentary, yet my mind was quick to drift off to some other place.
My Mom’s words still lingered in my ears. What would your father say about this?What would he? I didn’t want to know. I loved my Dad, truly I did, but he could be harsh sometimes. Especially when it came to boys, and Brian. From the day my parents met Brian and some of the guys, they had been more controlling over me.
“Lara…”
I sucked in my own intake of breath and my movements ceased; my head emptied. And then, like a distant whisper, my name echoed again in the room. The tiny hairs on my arms crippled up as chills shot down my spine.
“Lara…”
With my breaths becoming more labored, I slid my legs off the mattress. “Is anyone here?” I asked, and just as the words left my mouth, I felt like smacking my own head. There was no one here! But the voice…
I stood up, my heart pounding in my ears, the sound so loud I feared I couldn’t hear anything else around me. But I did. This time, my name came out louder, stronger, angrier. My eyebrows knitted together at the center of my forehead as I followed the strangely familiar voice. Still hesitant, I made my way toward the bathroom. The lights were off, so I flipped the switch and looked inside. Nothing.
“I knew it!” Someone shouted from behind me. I jumped ten feet high and a shrieked scream fell from my lips as I turned around and saw the person standing there. Tears pooled behind my eyes and I covered my mouth with both of my hands, shaking. “I knew that Brian was dangerous.”
“D-Dad?”
“Hi, sweetie.”
“N-No. You’re dead,” I choked, instinctively stepping away from my Dad’s figure. It couldn’t be real. He couldn’t be real. “How…”
He moved closer and I marched back with a step of my own. I tried keeping the distance but my heart was heavy, the fear striking me like venom, and my feet stopped moving. I tried but they wouldn’t even budge. “Don’t run from me. I can’t hurt you. I can’t hurt Brian either,” my father said, yet all I could do was shake my head. Tears were streaming down his face, I could see, his words drawled when uttered, dragged out slowly. Was he drunk? “He took you from me,” he went on. I still couldn’t move and he only got closer, yet never enough to reach me.
“My beautiful baby. SAVE ME!” His face was on me now, screaming, growling, and I yelled too, not sure why, not sure how. I turned my head to the side, but his breath hit me like a storm. “LEAVE BRIAN! LEAVE HIM!” I couldn’t take it anymore and I covered my ears, closed my eyes, so tightly it made my head hurt. And when I thought I was going to faint, I jolted awake, sweat dripping down my forehead, my neck soaked and my heart racing furiously within my chest.
I let out a sob. I couldn’t breathe. My throat felt constricted, my eyes pricking with tears. It took only a blink of an eye to have those fat droplets of salty water to slide down my cheeks. Soft whimpers dribbled from my lips and I realized I was shivering all over, even though I was drenched in sweat.
“It’s just a nightmare…” I told myself through tears. “Just a fucking nightmare.”
Although a little shaky and sleepless, I knew I had to make an effort to rest until the morning after. It’d be my first day of work at the store and I couldn’t look like shit. I kept repeating in my head that nightmares were only nightmares and that I had to stay calm. The TV was still on, I realized, so I groped for the controller and turned it off before burying myself within the covers.
It wasn’t easy to fall back asleep. The first couple of hours went by slowly and I tossed and turned in the bed. Now I wished Brian had stayed. Eventually, my body couldn’t take the exhaustion any longer and I succumbed into a rather peaceful slumbering.
Came morning and I was far from ready to face the store. A few more hours in my bed would be more than welcomed, but unfortunately I had duties now. Looking like a zombie, I got up and decided on a hot shower to wash the dried sweat crawling up my skin and the black circles from under my eyes.
I felt much cleaner once I stepped out of the bathtub, and for a moment, I actually felt thrilled about the day. I wrapped a white towel around my body and padded out back into the bedroom to get dressed. I was rummaging through my messy piled of clothes when I heard a knock on the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone and it was too early for the cleaning ladies.
With a sigh, I hurried to the door. “Who’s it?”
“Service room.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled as I pulled the door open. “What’re you doing here?” I asked, one hand on the knob and another against the doorframe.
Brian smirked upon seeing me in just a towel and stepped a little closer. “Good morning, beautiful,” he said cheerily. “This turned out much more enjoyable than I first thought.”
Slapping his arm, I chuckled and moved inside making sure to leave the door open. He followed behind me and closed the door gently before plopping down onto the bed. “You still didn’t answer my question,” I stated as I crouched down next to my suitcase. Maybe it was time to unpack.
“I’m taking you to work. Doesn’t that sound awesome? Work?”
I glanced at him and snickered again at the silly smile on his lips. “You woke up on the right side of the bed today?”
He scoffed. “Since when do I wake up on the wrong side? I’m not like you, miss grumpy.” I threw him a shirt and he laughed, catching it and holding it to his chest. “See? You didn’t even give me a good morning kiss.”
God!
I stalked toward him and he sat up faster than possible, puckering his lips out and making me laugh whole heartedly. “You’re the goofiest asshole ever.” I brushed my lips against him in a soft but firm kiss, and when I pulled away, he sent me an even cheesier smile.
“Sleep good?” he queried and I froze for a split of second.
“Uh, yeah, I guess.”
When I was about to turn around from him, his fingers circled around my wrist and he stopped me. I hesitantly lock my eyes with his and I saw the doubt flashing across his irises. “You sure?”
I forced out a smile and nodded with my head. “Yes. I’m just a little nervous.”
He seemed to buy my answer and let go of me so I could go get ready. In thirty minutes we were exiting the hotel and heading for the store. Zacky was already there because he was giving a class and had to organize his things, so while he was on that, Brian gave me another short explanation of how everything worked.
“Alright, I’m ready!” I told Brian as I took a deep breath. “I’m officially taking the role of employee.”
He chuckled a little and raised his palm to me. I high-fived him and went behind the counter where there was a laptop and a few papers that weren’t important for now, according to Brian. “You’re replacing me today, just so you know. Don’t ruin my image, please,” he teased, folding his arms over the top of the counter.
I cocked an eyebrow. “Right. At most, I’m bettering your image.”
“Baby, you’re hot, but nothing compares to this,” he said, thrusting his thumbs to himself, as his lips molded into a smug grin. I only shook my head and dropped down onto the comfortable chair, sighing in content.
The store remained calm and empty for a while, so Brian took the opportunity to go to the back room. The place was a mess, he had said, and it needed some cleaning. He came back quickly, though, but what I didn’t see right away was the CD in his hand. I stood up when he approached the counter and he stretched his arm in my direction.
Before asking any questions, I accepted the CD. I turned the object in my hand and read the handwritten words on its back, smiling softly afterwards. “Wow.” I lifted my gaze to Brian. “The second tape of Avenged Sevenfold.”
“I figured that since we’re gonna play together again as a band, you should know the rest of the songs. So here it is…”
“Is there any forbidden song or…”
“Um…” Brian hesitated a little, scratching the stubble on his chin. “I wouldn’t say forbidden, but I worked on some lyrics, yes.”
I nodded, getting what he meant. “It’s alright. I can’t wait to listen to it,” I confessed and he let out a nervous laugh. I pursed my lips together and narrowed my eyes slightly. “You can’t be that reluctant to show me this.”
His brown eyes softened at my words and he silently asked for my hand, holding his out for me. I placed my palm on top of his and he squeezed his fingers around it, searching for my eyes. “You have to understand that these CDs show my most vulnerable state. All I was feeling when you left is right there.” I gulped, seeing the truth behind his gaze. “It’s a pretty big deal to me to give you this and, yes, it’s fucking nerve wrecking to know that you’ll hear it all.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
The bell of the store went off and I instantly looked over there. “Now give me a kiss and show me that you fit this job,” Brian said in a low voice. We both leaned over the counter and shared a short, sweet peck, before I went to assist the customer. It was a tall man, probably in his thirties, and apparently he was looking for an old Black Sabbath album.
Unfortunately, there were none available, but with Brian’s help we managed to order a few copies from the record company, and the CD should be here in a week. A handful of more clients entered the store after that and I did my first and second sale. I was beaming by the time the last customer left and Brian couldn’t help but chuckle at my enthusiasm.
“I think you’ll do fine here,” he admitted with a lopsided smile from where he stood at the magazine section. I pranced toward him and wrapped my arms around his middle. Laughing at the unexpected hug, he held me close and dropped a kiss on top of my head. “How do you like this so far?”
“It’s awesome,” I replied without hesitating. “I never thought it’d be so cool. Thanks.”
He moved away just enough to look down at me and sighed softly, tucking my hair behind my ears before cradling my cheeks in his hands. “I’m glad,” he smirked, smoothing his palms down my shoulders and arms. When he bowed his head a little to kiss me, I faced away from him and gave a step back. “Aw, come on,” he grunted, not the tiniest pleased.
I shrugged my shoulders, fighting back a smile. “I’m working.”
The bell rang again just as the words came out and I spun around. It was only Jimmy. “Hey, Peanut Head.” He grinned, involving me in his embrace as soon as he came close. I giggled and patted his back so he wouldn’t crush my bones. He got the hint and pulled away, going to greet Brian with a one-armed hug. “What’s up? How’d your first day going?” Jimmy directed to me, hands shoving into his back pockets.
“Amazing!”
“Great! Fucking finally we don’t have to be stuck here,” he grinned, blue eyes shining with delight as he nudged Brian’s side for further emphasis. “By the way, we have to call Fuck Cancer Foundation today to give them our final answer.”
Brian shifted on his feet a little, rubbing the tip of his nose. “Yeah…”
Jimmy appeared oblivious to what was going on and raised his arms high, head thrown back and eyes closed. “The Reverend Tholomew Plague is coming back!” he said in a raspy, intimidating voice.
I grimaced and a confused chortle escaped between my lips. “What is that?” I asked.
“His stage name,” Brian replied, his own lips curving absently. At the puzzled look on my face, he disappeared into the back room and returned with an old photograph. “Remember these young, reckless kids?” He showed me the picture of the guys back in his early teenage years. They were so bad I cringed at the sight, still not containing the laughter that climbed up my throat.
“Oh, boy. Who are they?” I joked.
“Yeah… we had stage names. All of us, don’t you remember?” I tilted up my head to look at him and he raised his eyebrows expectantly, but I shook my head. “Jimmy was The Rev. Matt was M. Shadows-”
It finally hit home what he was saying and I burst out laughing, remembering all those awful names. “Oh, my God, yes. Zacky was… how was it- uh… wait- Vengeance!” I said excitedly. However, I didn’t remember Brian’s name. No matter how much I thought about it, I could not form his name in my head. Johnny was Johnny Christ, easy, but Brian I had no idea. “What was yours?”
His mouth opened wide for a moment. “How do you not know? I’m offended right now,” he choked, bottom lip sticking out into a cute pout. “You remember Zack’s and not mine?”
“Vengeance is my favorite word,” I said as a way of excusing myself. “If I had a band I’d choose that name as well, that’s why I know.”
Eyes narrowing, Brian crossed his arms. “Yeah, yeah.”
Jimmy was still lost in his own little world, muttering things none of us dared to understand.
I bit my bottom lip and rested my hands on his arms, gazing up at Brian. He could say he was mad and pissed off, but the only way I’d know he was telling the truth was if I looked him straight in the eye. Those two round orbs could not lie even if Brian tried. And right now, as we stared into each other’s eyes, I could see the softness of his gaze. “Come on, just tell me,” I said.
“Promise you won’t laugh?”
Oh, boy.
I smirked, not sure if I could keep such promise. “I’ll try.”
He waited a few seconds and then let out a sigh, knowing there was no way he could run from this. “Synyster Gates.”
I tried, I really did. Though, it took only one of Brian’s chuckles to unleash the fit of laughter that grew within me no sooner did he say that horrible name. I kept laughing out loud and had to hold myself onto the closest wall to keep myself from falling on the floor. “Synyster Gates! Ah!” I felt tears in my eyes.
“You’re mean…” it was all Brian could say while I almost gutted out my stomach with the laughter. “Jesus. Who needs enemies when I have my girlfriend.”
“What happened?” Jimmy queried as he saw me recovering, amusement swirling over his face. It seemed he had finally snapped out back to us.
“Oh, baby.” I wiped at the corner of my eyes as the commotion subsided for simple giggles. “The worst name…”
Brian sniffled. “Thanks.”
“Awn.” I walked over to him and kissed his lips before hugging him around his neck. He did the same around my waist until his hand came down to smack my ass. “I still love you. Even with that ugly stage name.”
Jimmy gave a sound of realization and came to us, circling his arms around both Brian and I. “Yeah, he was drunk when he came up with that,” he explained.
Brian chuckled, embarrassed, and slapped my ass one more time before we all pulled back. “Synyster Gates is not happy.”
***
The more I worked at the store, the more I enjoyed being there. It was this type of distraction that I’d been craving, and it was doing me good. At least, during the day. When the night fell and I found myself back in my hotel room alone, I’d lose my shit. The nightmares had become a constant company while I slept and I couldn’t say they were meaningless.
It was as if it escalated to worse places from day to day. They started to look scarier, darker, much more real, involving many more people, including Brian and, always, my Dad. I would wake up sweating and panting, and more often than not, crying. It was tiring and I didn’t know how much more I could handle without collapsing from exhaustion.
Now I had to cover the black circles under my eyes with makeup if I didn’t want any of the guys to start asking things. Brian was hard to deceive and he had asked me more than twice if I was resting well. I’d assured him that everything was perfect, and on the that first occasion he actually bought it. However, he wasn’t a fool.
On Johnny’s birthday, I refused to spend the night with Brian and we almost got into an argument. I eventually gave in and slept at his house, not wanting to fight with him. It was the first night without nightmares and it was confusing. The nightmares came with the guilt. Being happy with Brian made me think about my father and what he’d say about it all, so how didn’t I have nightmares that night?
On the following days, and up until now, the routine resumed and I was clueless about what to do.
Sighing, I dragged myself to the back room. I had started to take care of the paperwork, and since it was a rainy day, the store had been empty the whole morning. I grabbed what I needed and walked back out, almost crashing into someone. “Oh, hey, baby.”
I smiled the first smile of the day upon hearing Brian’s voice and leaned up on my tiptoes to kiss him. He held my face in his hands, not letting me go until I was out of breath. I gasped once it was over and looked up at him with wide eyes. “What was that?” I chuckled lightly, appalled.
“I miss you,” he said with a frown. “Are you staying with me tonight?” Brian didn’t even give me time to reply as he pulled me into another heart melting kiss, his palms warm against my skin. “Please?”
“Fine, you silly,” I said with another giggle as I pushed past him and took my place behind the counter again. “So do you have a class right now?”
“If you talked to me more you’d know,” he remarked and I felt the sting in his words.
I slumped my shoulders in defeat, knowing perfectly well that he was right to act that way, and sent him an apologetic smile. “I know, I’m sorry.”
“Make up to me today.”
“I will,” I smirked, but that little glint of pain in his eyes didn’t disappear completely with my answer, and my lips straightened into a tight line again. I didn’t like it when he was serious because it meant things weren’t exactly fine. “Are you mad?”
“No, baby.” His voice faded into a sigh and he ran a hand through his spiked hair. “I just… I just miss you, I guess. Last time we were really together was more than a week ago and it seems you’ve been avoiding being alone with me.”
I shook my head repeatedly and rounded the counter, meeting him. “No, no, it’s nothing like that, Brian, I promise,” I said desperately. “I’m still adjusting to the store, that’s all.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.
His hands were placed on my shoulders and he squeezed them to ease the tension. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Brian sounded so concern, it made me feel bad. “You can talk to me.”
“I am. I promise.”
Searching for any signs of a lie in my eyes, Brian nodded with his head, accepting my reasons. “Okay. Then bring something sexy for me today, will you? I miss that pretty little body of yours.”
Finally! Now that the playful Brian was back again, I could smile in relief. “You can bet on it.”
I was so glad that tomorrow was my day off. I moaned appreciatively as Brian attacked my neck with nips and wet kisses, working me up for the third time that night. He’d been restless from the moment he’d opened his front door to let me in. We did it on the couch and in the kitchen while the dinner was cooking, and now that our energy was recharged, we were back in the action, this time in his bedroom.
“God, what’s going on with you tonight?” I struggled between moans and shallow breaths. His hands roamed my sides with such delicacy that I felt like my body was melting against the mattress. His lips trotted up my jaw and down to my chin, and I threw my head back, giving him full access to my throat. Brian nuzzled the area softly before clamping his teeth down softly, releasing another moan from me.
“I told you I missed you.”
“And here I was thinking that you missed our talks.”
I felt him smirk against my skin and then he was leveling up to me again, catching my lips in a slow sensual kiss, his tongue tangling with mine with a burning passion. I circled my arms around his neck and threaded my fingers through his soft hair, pulling at his spikes and making him moan into the kiss. He pulled away, mouth open to recover his breath, and rested his forehead to mine. “I’m more interested in making love to you now than talking.”
I cracked my eyes open, sliding my hands down to the sides of his neck. “You had enough fucking for today?” I teased.
His chest trembled with a curt laugh and he met my gaze. “Don’t tempt me. The night is young.”
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I knew Brian’s arms had been tightly around me and his chest so hot against my back. I was beyond tired and when my eyes fell close I didn’t fight the sleep, not for a second. I wish I had.
September 10th 2000 - Eight years ago
I couldn’t believe I was Brian’s girlfriend. I couldn’t believe I had a boyfriend! I looked to my right at Brian and down to our united hands as we walked back home, and a feeling of pure joy filled my heart in that moment. My lips broked into a huge smile.
“What’s that face?” he asked with a teasing tug on my hand.
“Nothing.”
He gave my cheek a kiss and dropped my hand to wrap is arm around my shoulders. “That is not nothing.” I glanced up at him, feeling his gaze on me, and he pulled his lower lip between his teeth. I followed the movement closely until his laugh brought my eyes back to his brown ones.
I elbowed him lightly on his ribs. “What’re you laughing at?”
“Nothing,” he mocked and we both erupted with laughter, continuing our way to my house. Brian insisted to keep me company, saying that a lady shouldn’t walk alone in the middle of the night, but I knew better. I didn’t mind him wanting to be with me, though. On the contrary, I actually appreciated, even if it was still a strange feeling for me.
As we neared the house, red and blue lights flashed in front of us and I furrowed my eyebrows. “Wow, man. Cops,” Brian stated. And the closer we got, the clearer it became that the two police cars flashing lights were right at my door, which was open I realized.
I slunk away from Brian and ran inside, calling for my Mom. She was in the living room, her bloodshot eyes brimming with tears no sooner did they acknowledge me. On the other side stood two policemen and my heart rate inevitably increased. I stayed in the middle of the room, though, still as water, afraid to know whatever had happened. “What’s going on?” I asked in a murmur, looking between my mother and the Cops.
My Mom approached me slowly and lowered her hand to rub my back, her attempts to quiet her own sobs failing. “Your D-Dad.”
With my breaths coming out ragged and shaky, I felt the fear of the truth creeping up on me. “What about Dad?” I blurted in a hurry. I looked around and he was nowhere to be seen and panic settled within me, until I recalled that he was only meant to return tomorrow. “Did he do anything wrong?”
My mother shook her head and brought the tissue crumpled in her fist to her nose. “No, honey. Your Dad was in a car accident,” she whimpered as more tears flowed down her face. I stepped back, nonplussed, my back hitting against something and my feet tripping on themselves, or so I thought. I turned around only to find Brian right behind me, a subdued look on his face.
“What?” My head shot in my mother’s direction again. “Is Dad okay, Mom? Does he need surgery or-”
“Lara,” Brian cut me off tenderly, his hands grasping onto my arms so I would spin back around. My mother’s cries intensified and Brian was just torn as he pulled me into a comforting hug. I didn’t understand. “I don’t think your Dad survived, baby.” His voice was barely audible but those words hit me like a brick.
“What?” I gasped.
His arms tightened around me. “I’m sorry.”
Notes
Okay, there's a lot to process.
Lara is in the store now working.
Brian's issues with the band were explained.
Lara's nightmares.
Hum. What do you think of it all? Hope you guys liked the chapter :) please COMMENT and thank you so much for reading :D <3
Lol, I have this problem where sometimes I skip a paragraph on accident. I read "Jimmy probably picked this song" after I read them touching each other with wandering hands, automatically thought "closer" by nine inch nails, and went back to check. XD this story is amazing
3/22/16