Three Years Later - June 2013

"Bye, babies. Aunt Nicki is gonna watch after you today while I go to work for a meeting, okay?" I say softly to my beautiful boys, who have sprouted into a pair of very tall toddlers. They giggle and latch their arms around my neck before pressing kisses to my cheeks. I laugh in return, giving them my own kisses before I pull away and grab my bag. Nicki is yawning while wrapping her robe around her body.

"I'll see you at lunch, kay?" I ask, making sure she remembers. Nicki nods and yawns into her hand again before waving me away with the other one. Owen and Sully are instantly running over to her and latching onto her legs. This wakes her up, causing her to groan and waddle into the kitchen to fix their breakfast.

Over the past three years, I've upgraded from my crappy one room apartment where I had to walk up fifty four steps, to a two room apartment where I can simply pull my car up to the sidewalk and walk three feet before I'm at my door. I'm happy with this, and even though I don't live in a fancy mansion that should come with my job as a director, it means more money can be saved for Owen and Sully's future.

Even at just fourteen months old, they had taken an interest in music, and they were only able to fall asleep when listening to 'Dear God' by the guys. They're constantly dragging out pots and pans when Nicki and I aren't looking, and banging on them with spoons. Owen and Sully are two very mischievous, cunning kids, just like their father was.

My crappy car has definitely been upgraded, though. It's no longer a little two-door piece of shit - but now a fully loaded SUV that makes me look out of place in our little apartment complex of Monroe Suites. I wave to the little old lady that is my neighbor as she walks her little dog. She smiles and waves back.

I get into the SUV and pull out into the streets of Los Angeles. It's a dog-eat-dog world here, and there are times when I've almost given up and broken down, but Nicki and my boys are there to pick me back up and kick my ass. Just seeing Owen and Sully's matching crazy grins sends me into a bittersweet moment of memories.

Their blue eyes shine with the same intensity as Jimmy's, and it makes my heart break just a little bit. But it heals as soon as they call me 'Momma'.

The drive to the studio where I have my office and editing equipment, I'm met by a few crazy scenes when I walk in to start the day. For some reason the phone lines are down and none of the computers are coming up. My assistant, Jeremy, is using his cellphone to call the company that does our phones and computers, but he's been on hold for half an hour now.

I sigh and can't help but run a had through my shoulder length hair. It's still its original brunette color, but I've cut it and there are blue streaks in it now. I don't hire on looks, since I've gotten my own few tattoos and crazy hair styles - and some of the least-likely looking people are the best at what they do.

Jeremy looks at me and apologizes with his eyes.

"Don't worry about it. I've got my phone if I need to call someone and if someone is trying to get through they can just leave a message on the machine."

He sighs and rubs at his face with complete frustration in his eyes. I smile at him, pat his shoulder, and go to my office. The walls are covered in movie posters and pictures of my boys and some celebrities I've met. On my desk is the closest thing I've gotten to a family photo; its of the boys and me, when they're not even a year old, at Jimmy's grave on Jimmy's birthday. We had to be discreet and do a quick shot before anyone else showed up.

I wouldn't tell the boys of their father until they were deemed old enough, and in my standards, they would never be old enough.

Being without a computer for a few hours, I'm stuck with going through paperwork and trying to sign a few sheets of paper that need my approval. I need to be editing film, but that's pretty impossible without the computers working --

"YES!" Jeremy yells, and the lights on the computer and screens in my office are suddenly lighting up with life. I laugh slightly, but I'm very glad they're on. Once logged on, I'm checking my email, and it's already eleven in the morning.

My desk is suddenly stock piled with files and tapes of bands that I had taken an interest in. My eyes widen. I hadn't expected this.

"Don't worry, Reggie, this is only a third of it," Jeremy tells me, coming in with another stack. I groan, but know this is what I get myself into with the job. For the next hour, I'm reading files and listening to tracks and demos. My world is nothing but really good music or really bad music, and I know that I'm going to have to call some of them in.

My phone vibrates on my desk, and I look over at the message Nicki has sent me.

On way. Be there in ten.

I grin, ready to see my baby boys again, and eat. I had missed breakfast from waking up late. But my phone vibrates again, and this time its a reminder -

"Shit," I mumble, completely forgetting about the meeting I'm supposed to have at 12:30. That's when I'm supposed to go on my lunch with the boys and Nicki.

Stopping the track I'm listening to, I move the files and tracks to the side for later. I'm ready for the meeting I'm about to have, but then my phone makes a shrill ring that can only mean one thing --

I groan and pick up my phone, hitting the 'answer' button and press the receiver to my ear. "Hey, mom," I say. My mother replies with her own greeting and instantly launches into another one of her weekly-why-don't-you-have-a-boyfriend? lectures. I'm a horrible daughter - she doesn't even know she's a grandmother. How was I supposed to explain to my mother that I had a fuck fest with a drummer of my all-time favorite band and ended up getting knocked up and now have two baby boys?

I take the words she spits at me, though. Jeremy is suddenly at my door and knocking softly. I wave him and whoever the band is, in, turning away so to finish my conversation.

"Mom, can we please not have this conversation right now? I'm about to have a very important meeting, okay?" My mother is reluctant to let me go, knowing I've used this excuse before, but my tone of voice means I'm really telling the truth and I've really got an important meeting. She finally hangs up and I sigh.

Running a hand over my face, I turn and face the five men before me.

"I'm so sorry about that, guys, but my mom is just being a nosy little--"

"Rahgina?"

My eyes snap open and I'm looking at the four men I had never wanted to see again after my night with Jimmy.

"Hey, it is you, blueberry!"

Matt, Brian, Johnny, and Zacky and grinning like idiots at me. Did they really remember me? After almost four years?

And then I realize that Jimmy's four closest friends are in my office. My office where there are tons of pictures of my boys. My office where Nicki is about to show up with my sons who are spitting images of Jimmy. My office, where I can't breathe, and the guys keep grinning at me.

"Still doing any dancing?" Matt jokes, and my cheeks flush slightly, but I still can't stop staring. The fifth man, who I've only seen a few pictures of, sits uncomfortable, trying to figure out the relationship between the guys and me. I believe his name is Arin.

I shake my head, not trusting my voice.

"Nicki, you can't go in there! She's in a meeting with--"

"Fuck you! They can wait, Reggie wants to see her baby boys."

And then I find my two sons running into my office to behind my desk and jumping into my lap. I hold them in an arm each, hugging them to my chest, unable to look at theAvenged guys. My fingers brush through their dirty blonde hair as they latch onto my neck.

The guys are surprised by the sudden intrusion. Nicki comes walking in after them, her middle finger still up at Jeremy. But as soon as she's inside and seeing who exactly I'm having a meeting with, she stops dead in her tracks.

"Fuck," is the only word that leaves her lips. The guys turn around, and I know they remember her. Not many girls you meet with bright pink hair.

"Hey, it's bubble gum!" Zacky jokes, but the air is tense between Nicki and I. I sigh, knowing this time would have come sooner or later, before I pull the attention back to me and my sons.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet my sons, Owen and Sully."

A few brows raise at the mention of my sons' names.

"Owen, Sully," I say softly, getting my boys to look up. "Say hi to a band I'm good friends with."

They turn their heads, and the messy dirty blonde hair and bright crazy blue eyes send the world spiraling down. Brian is the first to recognize the looks, but the guys are almost right after him. He stands suddenly, his fists clenched at his sides.

"I need a smoke," he spits out and leaves quickly. Zacky and Johnny are speechless. Matt looks like he's about to pass out.

"Are they--" he starts, but doesn't finish. I nod my head, biting my lip. Nicki twiddles with her thumbs, feeling bad for not listening to Jeremy now.

"How about some lunch?" She suggests, and I know there's going to be a long talk ahead of us.

---

Nicki has just left with the boys with the excuse to get some ice cream, trying to give the guys and I a few minutes to ourselves. Brian hasn't said a word, and when he can, he has a cigarette in between his lips. Matt is the first to speak.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

I frowned. "What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, hey guys, I know Jimmy just died and all, but I'm pregnant with twins and they're his'." I hiss with dark eyes, and my arms cross under my chest. I get a wince, but Brian's eyes harden. He still doesn't say anything.

"Still, Reggie ... we should have known about this. Jimmy would have wanted the best for his kids. We want to respect those wishes."

"Well what about my wishes?" I snap, tired that this is all about Jimmy. I'm the one that held them for nine months and pushed them out my vagina. All Jimmy did was make me orgasm a little and then cum.

Matt sighs and sits back. The summer sun is causing blood to boil and all I want to do is go back home and hide under the covers. Zacky speaks up this time.

"C'mon, Reg. We get you're frustrated. Hell, I know you wanted it to where we never saw each other again," he said, voicing the truth behind my actions. "But we have seen each other, and we know about Owen and Sully. There's nothing that's going to stop us from wanting to be with them."

I sigh, and my stern expression softens. I wouldn't dare deny the guys the chance to see Owen and Sully. They were still trying to move on from Jimmy's death, and here I was, waltzing back into their life with Jimmy's twin sons - two poor souls that are spitting images of their father. They got nothing from me - except maybe their ears. Collins boys have always had small ears.

"I can't deny you the right to see them," I say, and the expressions on their faces are instantly ecstatic. Except Brian, he's still being a sour puss. "But," I break in before there can be any thing that may make me regret this decision. "I have the right to say when and where you can see them. And I expect extravagant gifts on their birthday," I joke the last part, but the guys, except Brian, are so excited they can't help but run to the nearest mini bar in the little food court I've brought us to, and order a couple rounds of shots.

Nicki is back with Owen and Sully just a moment after the guys go to get alcohol. She looks at them and then back to me. I'm glaring back at the glaring Brian.

"Momma!" Owen says, and I pull away from Brian's glaring match to look at my two sweet boys. They're grinning at me with an all too familiar grin; my eyes soften and I giggle as I grab them both and pull them into my lap. Brian can go screw himself.

They giggle back, and are scooping large amounts of their ice cream into their mouth before holding out spoonfuls for me. Owen and Sully ask me with their pretty blue eyes if I want any. I shake my head.

"No thank you, babies. Momma's full from her lunch," I say, rubbing at my belly. They giggle and grin again before devouring the rest of the ice cream. Sully, who softly pats my cheek with his hand, grabs my attention and I'm looking at him in question.

He then pats his chest and points at his mouth.

"Oh, that's right!" I say suddenly, going through my bag in search for a familiar see-through orange bottle. "How can momma forget your medicine? Silly momma." Sully giggles and wiggles in my arm before I find the bottle. Kissing his cheek, I then unscrew the cap and pull out two small, white chewable tablets.

Sully opens his mouth, and like always, I put one tablet in and he chews it up before going to the next. The guys haven't come back, but Brian is starting to soften up. He leans forward slightly, trying to read the medicine bottle.

"Why does he take medicine? What's it for?" Even though I know he's trying to be mad, there's a sound of actual worry. I couldn't help the small smile. Sully sticks out his tongue for the other one, and I happily give it to him. At least he doesn't fight about taking his medicine.

"When Sully was a year old, he had a few breathing problems and I took him to the doctor about it. They said all it was, was a bit of the allergies of something that we had been around. But, while there," my hands gently brushed back Owen's hair from his eyes when he sat in my lap and lulled his head against my chest. Sully sat in my lap, although not tired, but still in quiet while playing with my key ring. "They also found a large lump on his heart."

There was immediate dread in Brian's eyes. If you knew Jimmy enough to care, then you'd know he had heart problems himself - although I believe it was more of an enlarged heart, rather than a lump.

"The medicine keeps it from growing or spreading. When he gets old enough, they'll be able to take it off. I've already tried saving up but with pre-school about to start up and only expensive schools anywhere near the office, I've barely made a dent into it."

There's a silence between us - it's neither comfortable or awkward. I don't know what else to say.

"How do you tell them apart?" Brian asks, and I decide to joke with him about it.

"Well, Sully," I say, nodding to the one in my left arm, "has a freckle on his nose right... here." I bop at Sully's nose and he giggles before curling into my side, my keys still in his hands.

The guys have finally come back, each having taken a shot already and are now sticking to their beer.

"And Owen has a freckle under his eye," I say softly, not wanting to wake my now-napping babies.

I can see a frown on Johnny's face. "But he doesn't have a freckle..."

I laugh softly, shaking my head. "I was joking," I tease them, and there's a small smirk that pulls at Brian's lips. "Sully's hair has a slight curl to it," I tell them. "Got that from me. Owen has straight messy hair that he got from Jimmy."

There's a moment of silence at Jimmy's name, but I can see that Brian has finally warmed up to them, and I look over at Nicki to see her smiling too. She then goes back to a small conversation she had been having with the new drummer, Arin.

"When's their birthday?" Johnny asks, starting the array of questions I know will be coming so they can get to know my boys.

"February twenty-eighth." Barely three weeks after Jimmy's birthday.

"Have you tried dating anyone?" Matt asks, his eyebrow raised. I laugh, but quickly quiet down when my boys start to move in their little slumber. Rocking them softly, I look back up at the guys. They can't stop staring at me.

"I've tried. But as soon as I open the door to invite them in and my two little boys latch onto me, and they run off."

"Sucks for them," Zacky joked, and I laughed again, a smile on my face.

"So, gonna introduce me to the new guy?" I ask, causing the attention to be thrown at the lanky little noodle known as Arin.

"Oh, yeah, ugh, Arin, meet Regina. Regina, this is our new drummer for the new album, Arin Ilejay. He's been with us for the past few years."

I knew what there was to know about Arin. I may not look like it to them, but I kept up on every little bit of news I could.

"Nice to meet you, Arin," I say, nodding in his direction. He smiles and returns the nod.

Then I turn back to the guys, but they're staring at the two bundles of crazy-mothefucking-joy in my arms. My life, I wish I could say, is almost complete.