Carry On

I walked through into my airy home to the sight of Brian sat on the second step, holding Gracie. She was facing him, flat out with her head rested on his collarbone. I gave him a small smile.

"Shh," he whispered pointing at Grace. "Only just got her to sleep"

"She ok?" I whispered back.

"Mmhm," he gently stood up and carried her through to the living room, slowly placing her on the single chair before covering her up with her favorite Frozen blanket. Brian closed the door behind him and sat back on the step. "With Zack last night?"

"Yeah" I nodded briefly.

"And did you two, uh--"

"Yep" There was no need to lie or beat around the bush with him right now. His head dropped to his hands, and it just stayed there. "I'm, sorry"

"No need" He shrugged still burying his head in his hands. "I deserved it, I guess"

"No one deserves that. I was just, angry" I sat next to him and we both seemed to stare straight in front of us. We both wanted to hug each other and kiss, but it would take several more arguments before we were at least reasonably civil. "Don't get pissed at Zack either. Wasn't his fault"

"Never is, is it?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's clear he's devoted to you Renee, you haven't been helping yourself by leading him on--"

"He isn't, and I haven't. Last night I got fucking hammered, I didn't know what I was doing. Anyway, I really don't know why I am explaining myself to you" I sighed. "Off you go"

"Me?!" he yelled.

"Shut up, alright? I am sick to death of shouting at each other. Talk" I qued again.

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes and buried his head back into his big hands. God, I'd missed them. I wanted to hold them so bad. "I was drunk too, believe it or not" he sniggered.

"Is this a joke to you? Really? You slept with my mom!"

"I did not sleep with you're fucking mother, Renee. She, kissed me. She, gave me that fucking hickey, alright?! I did not touch her, I did not sleep with her, nor kiss her back. You need to realize my family is my world, you and Gracie. You're 'mother' is worthless, she is scum. She has ruined my marriage, and probably hers too" I trusted my husband, the fact he told me he didn't sleep with anybody, let alone my mom, made me feel ten times worse about Zack. I knew inside he was furious with me, but still - I can't even count the amount of times he had done this too me.

"Michelle, Lisa - Brian you can't keep doing this to me"

"Renee!" he groaned. "I'll give you Michelle alright, but--"

"You'll give me Michelle?! Listen to me, I've sacrificed so fucking much for you. My job!? You know I absolutely loved teaching, but you had a problem with it. Instead I spend my days lounging around this boring house doing nothing!"

"You don't need to work, how many times?! I bring all the money we need"

"Brian!! I don't care about money!I care about doing something I love!"

"I am what you love? Remember?!" I once again resulted to tears. Brian pulled me in and kissed my head. "Sorry alright?"

"What the hell are we doing?" I sighed hugging him hard.

"Lovers spat.."

"This isn't a spat, Brian"

"I'm sorry but I didn't exactly want to say, 'we're on the edge of a divorce'" He changed his calm tone and turned it back to an angry one. He still hugged me though. "I don't want to do that, Ren"

"Neither do I" I sighed

"Momma?" She peered around the staircase and a smile grew on her face. "You're here" she ran onto my lap and hugged both me and Brian hard. "Are you and daddy friends again?"

Brian looked at me, and bit his lip. "Please" he mouthed silently. "I love you"

"Mommy..?"

"Yeah" I sighed.

"That was full of enthusiasm" Brian said sarcastically.

"Daddy stop being mean to mommy!! She keeps being upset and you are being mean to her! She hasn't upset you so stop it!"

"Gray, don't talk to daddy like that" I sighed again.

"It's alright," he sighed. "Grace just give me and mommy a minute alright?" She jogged off back into the room, and Brian held my hand tight. "What are we doing then? Are you leaving me, or are we going to do the right thing?"

"I'm not leaving you. I'm not exactly happy in this marriage right now, but I can't do anything with out you. I love you with all of my heart, but god. You're a dick"

"I know" he laughed.

"I'm going to moms" I tutted. "I know it's not entirely you're fault"

"It isn't.."

"Brian.."

"Alright!!" he laughed again. "Can I have a proper hug?" he shyly asked. We both stood up and I gave him a sweet hug. "A kiss?"

"You're pushing it" I sniggered. I gave him a short peck. But I just wanted more. I leant back in, making the kiss last longer.

We kissed for what felt like 10 full minutes. It was just perfect.

"Please don't leave me Renee"

"Then don't do anything stupid" I tutted. "I'm going mom's, I have her to yell at now"

"You do realize you're still only in a t-shirt"

I blushed a little, but grabbed a pair of dry jeans from the radiator and pulled them up quickly.

"Bye," I smiled.

"Love you Ray"

Notes

Commenttts