Hostage

Matt’s POV

I was still thinking if I should really tell Zack everything or not…
I arrived at his house and knocked on the door, but I still haven’t made up my mind.
“Hey Matt, come on in.” Zack greeted me with a hug and we walked into his living room.
“You want a coffee?” Zack asked while I said down on his couch.
“Yeah, black.” I nodded and Zack came back after a couple of minutes with two cups and put one in front of me.
“We haven’t really got the chance to talk, since… well you are back.” Zack said and drank from his coffee.
“Yeah, I was a little confused after everything, man. I needed some time to sort through everything, but Brian had told me that you called and I am sorry, I really should have focused more on my friends then everything else.” I told him honestly.
“Hey, man no need to apologize, it’s no wonder that you were confused after everything you went through. I mean… fuck… being abducted and hurt and… wow…” Zack fumbled with his hands and sat the coffee on the table.

We were silent for a moment, he was one of my best friends, we never had this awkward silence between us…
“So… you and Val are back together?” Zack said suddenly making my head shot up to stare at him.
“What?” I nearly barked.
“What what? That’s what it sounded like the last time I talked to Val, she said something about a romantic dinner and she was waiting for you and… well the whole program.” Zack defended himself and my frown got even deeper.
That’s why he thought I had plans or a date, this was behind everything, I really haven’t talked to Zack in a while.

“Fuck, man. This is all so weird, I am telling you. At first I really thought between Val and me there could be something again… but honestly I should have known that I broke up with her for a reason, but she was so nice, was there for me after the whole hostage thing and I even kissed her… but I realized that it was not it, you know. It wasn’t like before… I was dumb to even think that and on that evening, when she planned this romantic dinner with me, I told her what I should have done days before. I told her that I could be her friend and want to be her friend but that a relationship was out of the picture for me.” I sighed remembering Val’s hurt face but shook my head to get rid of the image.
“Wow, Matt, I didn’t know. I am sorry.” Zack clapped my back.
“Yeah, it’s okay. It’s my own fault in taking so long to realize it.” I tried to think of a good way to come to Alicia as topic but didn’t really know how.
“So what’s new in your life?” I tried to ask casually, looking around until my eyes stopped at something lying beside me, which looked like the shirt that Alicia had been wearing yesterday…
“Well, what’s new…” Zack continued without noticing my inner turmoil, I shifted my glance back at him, my jaw muscles working.
“As you might have heard and noticed Alicia and I got pretty close.” He smiled.
“Pretty close? What do you mean pretty close?” I asked and tried to restrain my voice, I had no right to be mad and no reason to be jealous.
But tell that my stupid heart that was squeezing painfully in my chest.

“Well, she was reluctant at first but we want to try it… so yeah we are together. It all started when I went with her to her doc the first time and since then we just hung out together and on the day when she got the results that she was really fine… we sealed it I guess.” He grinned now and I clenched my fist.
Sealed it? Sealed it, what does that mean?
“Matt?”
“Matt, can I ask you something?” Zack asked and I needed to deeply breathe in and out to answer.
“Sure, what is it?”
“Is that okay for you? I mean seeing me with Alicia? I mean I know you spent some time with her and she really values your friendship… I just want you to be honest with me.”

How should I answer this one, if I would be honest I would fucking hurt him… If I would lie I would fucking lie not only to him but to Alicia and myself…
Should I really tell him now, how close Alicia and I had been?
What does it mean that she really values our friendship? Was this only a friendship for her?
“Matt?” Zack looked directly at me and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Fuck, Zack. I don’t know… Honestly, it really is weird seeing you with her. Tell me, how close are you and Alicia… I mean.. you said you spent a lot of time with her… but do you also-”
“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, Matt. You should know.” Zack smiled and he doesn’t really say this to hurt me, I guess I could hide my real feelings better than I thought.

I closed my eyes and tried to swallow the hurt then looked back at him. “That’s not what I mean, Zack. I mean, if she told you everything that happened?” I asked finally, seems like I made up my mind and wanted to tell him that I had sex with his- I had to swallow again- girlfriend.
“Yes, I think she told me pretty much everything, why?” Zack asked with a frown.
Fuck, did I really have to say it and tell him I made love to her, unprotected, for real?!
“Why? Because I don’t think she told you… Alright, listen… It was a really crazy situation you know and Alicia and I we both needed each other and I… we… I mean… Fuck Zack.. we-” Zack’s eyes widened and then his mouth opened.
“That.. yes. She told me, you and her were also physically close. I know, alright and I would be more comfortable if we wouldn’t talk about this anymore.”
“Yeah, same here” I nodded.
“But Matt… you didn’t answer my question.” Zack poked again and I really didn’t know what to answer.
“You didn’t answer mine.” I shot back.
“How close we really are? Alright, she was a little distanced first but I told her we should try, I mean we spent a lot of time together, I could make her laugh, she did the same for me. She is beautiful and strong and honest. She has been through a lot but never lost hope, I don’t know. She makes me feel good and I like that. I don’t know… we will just let everything come towards us and see if it works out or not, you know.”

Everything he said was true, and that’s why I was so attracted to her as well, that was why I fell in love with her…
Wait, where did that one come from?
“Matt, your turn.” Zack said and I didn’t know if I was really about to crush my friend’s heart to make me feel better, or just be quiet about my feelings, so he could go on…
What should I do?

“Matt?”
I opened my mouth but still wasn’t sure what to say, but if I wouldn’t say anything now, it would make things even worse, maybe I could find a middle way?
“Zack, man… I totally understand you and I-” The doorbell saved me for saying something further.
“Wait a second.” Zack got up and walked to the door.
“Hey!” Alicia’s voice sounded from the front door.
“Hey babe.” I could even hear the smile in Zack’s voice.
“How was your morning?” Alicia asked and I heard the sound of a kiss and breathed deeply in and out again.
“Good, come on. Matt is still here.”
“Oh.”

Zack and Alicia walked towards me and I looked at her face, she smiled shyly at me and I got up from the couch, walking towards her.
“Hi…”
“Hey.” I hugged her for a short moment and she replied the hug but hastily pulled away.
“You want to have breakfast with us?” Alicia asked but I heard so hesitation in her voice.
“No, thanks. I need to go now, anyway…” I smiled apologetic and walked towards the door.
“Zack, thanks for the coffee and… you know…” I told him and looked at the two of them standing there, Zack pulling Alicia close.
“Don’t mention it, maybe we can have a party soon, with everyone around. I mean… we haven’t done that in a while.” Zack asked and I looked at Alicia she looked a little uncomfortable but that could also be just my interpretation.
“Yeah, good idea. Why not?” I replied and opened to door to get away from them.
“Alright, I need to go now… Oh and did Brian tell you that, we meet tomorrow in the studio? At 10, if I remember correctly.”
“Oh yeah, right I saw the message. Will be there, of course.” Zack replied and when he leaned to Alicia and kissed her cheek I went out of the door and away from the happy couple.

Notes

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