Hostage

Matt’s POV

I couldn’t help it, all evening my eyes searched for Alicia’s.
I wanted to walk towards her, ask her how her last days went but whenever I wasn’t involved into the preparation of the food or helping at the barbeque or something else, someone else was already talking to her or Val was already by my side and had another task for me.
“Matt?” Val asked next to me.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, sure I am fine. Why are you asking?” I looked at her and she frowned, following my glance which was of course at Alicia again.
“Because you seem so absent the whole evening… That’s not you, Matt. Normally you are laughing and being in the center of it, normally you are enjoying everything but now you just seem like inhibited or something? Is that because of her? Should I tell Brian that she should better leave?” Val asked and I narrowed my eyes.
“What? No! Val, I just need a little time. And I have something to talk to Alicia about. Will you excuse me.” But Val held my arm to stop me.
“Matt, listen. I don’t think you should spend more time with her.” I looked at Val.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because this will always remind you of your abduction, didn’t the police say you need to move on and have a normal life again… Matt, I am sorry to say this but she is and shouldn’t be part of it.”
I buried my hands in my face and thought about that. “Fuck, I know… but I still have to talk to her about something, so excuse me.”
I pushed away from Val and walked over to Alicia when Brian announced “Alright, food is ready, take a seat.”
I sighed, “What is wrong with everybody to thwart my plan?!” I mumbled and saw that everybody took a seat at the long table.
I grabbed the chair opposite of Alicia and saw Zack pulling the chair out for her so she could sit down.
He really meant this serious about her being his date, huh?!
What was really going on between them? I frowned and made a mental note to have a better look on their behavior.
“Babe, will you scoot over a little?” Val stood beside me, the place next to me was already occupied but Val squeezed a chair in anyway.
I moved a little to the side so she had some space to sit down.
I saw Alicia and Zack frown at us.
What? I wasn’t allowed to have someone sitting beside me?! I laid my arm around Val’s chair mimicking Zack’s behavior.
I saw Alicia frown even more, which made me even madder.
I shook my head, why was I even mad at them?!
Fuck, why was everything so confusing?!

We all ate together and everybody was talking and having fun, nothing serious just having fun with friends.
I was glancing every now and then at Zack and Alicia and he was being all gentleman around her, loading food onto her plate, asking if she needed something else to drink and I get the nagging feeling that these two really fitted good together…
And why was that bothering me so bad?

Finally the dinner was done and I saw Val, Michelle and Lacey walking into the kitchen bringing the dishes away and putting the food back into the fridge.
Alicia wanted to get up as well and help and when she walked towards the kitchen I quickly went in behind her, trying again for another chance to talk to her.
Alicia’s POV

“Alicia?” I heard Matt’s voice behind me and tried not to cringe, shudder or shiver at the sound of his voice.
My body wasn’t really certain how it should react towards him.
I turned slowly around and saw Matt standing in the door way.
“I have a question, can we talk again?” He motioned me away from the others and I sighed.
“I was about to help Michelle with the dishes.” I replied and saw the other girls walking into the kitchen.
“I know, it will only take a second.” Matt grabbed my elbow and brought me back outside.
Brian had put music on and Matt and I walked a little further away.
“What is your question, Matt?”
“Actually it is more than just one question. But I will start with one. Are you and Zacky dating?”
“Are you and Val back to dating? Or still dating?” I shot back lifting an eyebrow.
“I asked you first.” I sighed at his behavior.
“No, or I don’t know. We weren’t but he asked me if I wanted to be his date for the evening… So today, yes I am his date, in general… No we weren’t dating. Your turn.”
Wow, this really felt like Kindergarten, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit first, that I missed him, because I didn’t want him to know that I was felt so vulnerable… to let him know and let him feel that I needed him.
When he might be happy to be finally rid of me after our time together…
“We spent much time together, but no we are also not dating.. again.”
“Oh, okay…”
“Babe, I am sleeping at yours again tonight, right? I still got my things there.” Val interrupted our talk and I could only roll my eyes, yes sure Matt, not dating, but she is sleeping at your house?
Matt looked at me and he must have seen my reaction “It’s not how it looks like, we are friends. She just wants to be there for me.”
“Sure, whatever. You know what Matt? I think it’s better if you would just ask your question and we could get back to the rest of the party.” I told him and looked around for Caroline, Brad and Zack.
The music was getting louder and if we still wanted to talk we had to yell at each other from now on.
“I have another question.” Matt yelled and leaned a little towards me.
“What?”
“When you were at the police, did you tell them everything?” Matt yelled.
“Yes, well I let Sean out of it, because we agreed on not having seen him, right?” I yelled back.
“And what about the incident…?” Matt yelled.
“What incident?” I yelled back.
The music stopped and Matt yelled “That one of the guys nearly raped you?!”

My eyes opened wide and I could see everybody turning our way, gaping at us- no at me.
Oh no, he didn’t just say that and everybody heard it?!
“Oh shit, I didn’t mean to…” Matt said quietly and I saw still everybody staring at me.
Then Caroline walked over looking at me shocked, Brad behind her.
“Is that true?” Caroline asked and had tears in her eyes.
When I saw her tears, my eyes watered as well. I couldn’t hold them back, the pictures formed before my eyes, the face I tried to forget, the moments that I didn’t want to relive vivid before my eyes.
I stared at Caroline and she grabbed my hand “Alicia?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Matt walked forward, grabbing my hand but I pulled away, not seeing his face now, but Carl’s.
“I need to leave. We need to leave.” I told Caroline and started walking.
“Alicia wait.” I heard Matt’s voice, but I couldn’t stay here, not after every one of them would be looking at me now… looking at me with pity, with disgust maybe?
And I could already hear the whispering, “What happened with her?” “Raped?” “Poor thing”
I didn’t know if that was just my imagination or real…
I needed to get away.
“Alright, come on Alicia. We will bring you home.” Brad took my elbow but I also shrank back.
Couldn’t stand his touch as well…
“Zack, would you get her bag? We will bring her home.” Caroline said and she guided me through the house.
“Sure and I’m coming with you.” Zack’s voice sounded and I really could breathe normal again when I was sitting inside the car, with only Caroline beside me and not more prying eyes.
“Ssshhh.. Alicia. It’s okay. We are driving home now, don’t worry.” Caroline’s voice soothed me helped me to think normal again.
Why was I reacting so strongly?
I had suppressed the feelings about everything so good and when Matt mentioned it everything broke free and I could only see everyone staring at me.
I knew this night, would be worse than the last… that all the nightmares would come back and hunt me… not that they were gone before, but I could ignore them… but tonight that wouldn’t be possible. I knew it…

Notes

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