28th December 2010

We were all around my place one year after we had lost Jimmy. Johnny was slowly becoming more talkative and having a good time.

We were all still grieving for him but we knew that deep down he would want us all to have a good time and carry on with our lives. I remember him saying his final words, they were:

“I’ll see you all in our Afterlife, in A Little Piece Of Heaven.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

“Zee, what are you smiling at?” Brian my boyfriend of 10 years smiled at me.

“Oh just thinking about the last thing Jimmy said.” Brian smiled at the memory as well.

Matt and Johnny were sat watching a baseball game while me and Brian were in the kitchen getting the beer for everyone.

I had just gotten the beer while Bri was looking out the window as if it was the last time he would see the sun setting over California. I noticed something was wrong with him. I went and laid my head on his shoulder and looked out the window with him.

“Bri is something wrong?” I looked up at him while her wrapped his arms around me. I knew he could hear how concerned I was about him.

“Nothing baby. I'm fine I promise. There's nothing to worry about. If there was I'd tell you.” He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes they were slightly dull compared to his usual shining chocolate brown eyes. That definitely told me something was on his mind.

I decided to leave. Like he'd said he'd tell me if there was something wrong. I just had to trust him to tell me when he was ready.

“Come on Zee” I hadn't realised that he'd unwrapped his arms from around me and started going back to Matt and Johnny. He had stopped in the hall when he realised I wasn't with him.

“Sorry, coming” I smiled at him as I caught up with him. He put his arm around my waist and smiled as with walked into the living room.
“Guys you missed most of the game. Anyone would think that you two were either making out or fucking.” Matt smiled at us.

I couldn't help but blush at what he had said.

“Oh my God it's true!” Johnny said between laughs.

“What?! No we weren't Matthew Charles Fucking Sanders!” Brian screamed at him.

Matt and Johnny both looked shocked and taken back by Brian's out burst.

“Brian baby. Please calm down.” I looked at him worriedly.

“What? Why should I?” He looked at me before he threw his beer bottle at the wall before he stormed out of the house slamming the door behind him.

“Well. What's up with Mr Grumpy?” Johnny asked looking at me.

“Johnny leave him alone. His mind is somewhere else right now” I sighed as I sat down on the other couch.

We sat in silence for what felt like hours but it turned out it was only five minutes.

“Zee, he's definitely not himself right now.” Matt broke the silence.

“It's like he's trying to push people away from him. I just wanna know what's wrong with him.”

“I'm sure nothings wrong with him Zee. Just give him some time to calm down and cool off and then if there is something wrong he will tell you as soon as he's ready.” Johnny smiled softly.

We sat watching a random film but my mind wasn't on it. I couldn't stop thinking that maybe I did something wrong but the longer I thought about it that more confused I was by the whole thing.

Around 2am Johnny and Matt both went back home. Johnny was staying with Matt and Val because he still couldn't stand to be in the house that he and Jimmy shared before he died.

I let the dogs out and got a glass of water and drank it before calling the dogs in and making sure everything was locked before I headed up to mine and Brian's room.

I lay thinking of Bri for about an hour before sleep consumed me.