Help Me Fly

The night had worn on until the sun had risen. Not one of us was even close to being tired. So, as we were deciding what to watch now I decided to make some breakfast. One thing I was good at to keep my mind off things was cooking. George always told me he loved my cooking. He would call me at home and make special requests, sometimes even days ahead of time so I could make sure I had everything I needed.

When I had finished I had realized I had made all of George’s favorites. But he wasn’t here to enjoy them, kiss my cheek, and wrap his arms around me as I cooked. I had been doing okay since I had come back home, but now I felt this horrible pit in my stomach, what felt like a knot the size of a jumbo jawbreaker in my throat. I felt a wet substance on my face, as I backed up hitting our fridge I dropped the small skillet out of my hands as I fell down to the floor silently crying.

I wanted to scream so badly, but I had resorted to simple head gestures and writing in a note pad. I had failed to realize that I had an audience with me but I didn’t care. My mouth wasn’t dry so I unleashed what I had been holding..

“WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE!!???”

Taking the skillet I threw it across the kitchen barley missing a body. My tears had blurred my vision so I was unaware of whom it was, but I did not care. I had to get out of here; I jumped up out and away from the arms reaching for me I jerked open the door and bolted.

I toned out the voices calling for me to return, I did not hear the heavy footsteps of the ones chasing me. I just kept running. The woods behind my house gave me an advantage, I was able to hide very well, but I was heading to one place, our waterfall. We had found it a few months after moving to our new home, once a month during the summer we would go there and it would always happen we would make love under the fall of the water.

“IVY!” Screams from my brother as he was able to catch up to me, I made it. The sun had risen with soft rays peeking through the trees onto the water fall. The smell of the fresh water hit my nostrils like a tidal wave. Landing on my knees, I did not care that I was barefoot. I had on pajamas as well fuzzy pants and a wife beater that belonged to my beloved. Looking over my shoulder I had at least a minute before my pursuers found me I slid my pants off, leaving my panties on and dove in.

Holding my breath I swam under the water as not to been seen. Breaking surface in front of the falls I saw them looking for me, all 5 of them stood at the bank Brian was holding my pants.

“Ivy, get out of there. You’ll get sick, or could hurt the baby!” He actually didn’t sound mad to me, for once he sounded concerned.

Shaking my head no, I ducked under and went under the falls to our little secluded cave. Sitting on the cold rock, I began to cry again, but this time I found my voice. I know they could hear me, I heard the words in my head as if he was right next to me. Holding my naked body on his, but no he was not here, he would never be here again.

Hearing a splash I jerked my head to pear through the falls, one of them had jumped in. Probably my brother. Scooting over to make room, I knew he would stay here with me. Breaking surface, he put his hands on the rocks and pulled, I had my hands on his bicep to help.

“Ivy, don’t scare me like that again.” Grabbing my head he pulled me in a hug as he sat next to me.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered

“So you did talk, or scream.”

“I have so much I want to say I just don’t know where to begin.” Leaning up I looked him in the eyes, it was true. I wanted so bad to talk to everyone, but I was afraid.

“Start when you believe is right.”

“I’m afraid; if I do then it’ll show that I have accepted that he is gone.”

“You know he is not gone, he lives on with you. Not in the way you want, but in the way that you both believe. As well as that strong baby growing inside of you, that wonderful bundle of joy that will be just as strong as you and be given so much love.” Leaving an arm over my shoulders, I leaned my head to his shoulder, resting a hand on my growing baby bumpy.

“I don’t know where to begin though. I want to sing, I want to paint but I want to be in his arms again. I want to know what he was thinking before it happened.”

“If you want to sing, then sing your lungs out. Paint till you can no longer hold a brush. As for his arms, then I can be the one for that, not as intimate, but I can still hold you. I wish I could tell you what he was thinking, but no one will know that.”

“Tell me why, was I the one his heart belong to, to have mine break so much.”

“You were the one, because you were both meant to be. Yes it was for a short amount of time, but for the two of you it felt like a lifetime, and will continue to until when you take your last breath but after you have lived a long life and raised your beautiful child. Do not let that child believe it is a burden because the two of you made it, but to believe it is a miracle to have survived this heart ache you are going through.”

“For a big brother, you can be an asshole and a great person.”

“Love you too, Ivy.”

“I’m starting to get sleepy now, that energy boost drained me.”

“Okay, let’s head back. I’ll give you a minute. Meet you at the bank,” Leaving a kiss on my forehead, he eased himself into the cold water, “Shit that’s cold.” Giving a small laugh at him he ducked under and was gone.

“Oh, baby I wish you were here with me. I need you now more than ever. I don’t know if I can do this alone.” After a few minutes alone with my thoughts and memories, I patted my belly as if preparing my baby for the cold water. Cold water never bothered me; I preferred cold showers even in winter.

Pulling myself back up at the bank, I noticed all 5 of my groupies were waiting for me. I did not think it was polite for them to see me in my white panties that were soaking wet. Looking to my brother I motioned for my pants.

“Brian, please?” he knew what I meant.

“See guys, I told you she would talk. Ivy girl you talk whenever you are ready.” Oh Jimmy, giving him a smile he took the gesture I gave to Brian and turned his back to me.

“Guys turn so she can put her pants on.”

“Hang on a sec, Gates. Ivy, give me your arms don’t worry ill close my eyes.” Shadows walked to the edge where I wadded and took my wrists, true to his words he kept his eyes closed as he lifted my out of the water.

“Can I tell them?” Being asked if he could announce that I wanted to be creative again. Giving him nod to go ahead.

“So guys, Ivy has told me she would like to sing again. Which mean I believe she had the making of a song in her head, as well as she wants to paint. So after she gets some sleep some of us are going to give her some privacy, while one will stay.”

“I don’t need a babysitter Brian.” Standing up, I walked past him to the house. They all would have to follow me since they did not know that area at all.

“Just give me peace of mind, whoever it is will not bother you. It is just to make sure you are safe from harm, and a shoulder to cry on. Can you give me that?” Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, I sighed and nodded my head.

I didn’t care who it was, I just knew I wanted to paint. I had an amazing picture in my head that I had to get down.

“Okay, rock paper scissors guys?”

“I want spaghetti.” Jimmy that was not a part of the game, silly guy.

Notes

Anyone willing to help me with a banner? just comment.