Chapter 18

"You sure you want to do this Zee?"

"Babe just do it.", he laughed, tugging the towel tighter around his neck.

I dipped the brush it to the dye and began to work on his head. Zacky decided to go blonde and as much as I loved the jet black, I am convinced this man can pull off any hair style.

"Are you guys huffing paint in there?", Jimmy banged on the bathroom door. "the whole house stinks."

We laughed as his footsteps faded down the hall.

The color stripped from Zacks hair quickly, so it wasn't long before I had to wash it out.

The light color made his pale green eyes look darker, as when his dark hair makes them look light. If it weren't for all the tattoos someone might actually mistake him for a sweet guy.

I snickered to myself.

"What? You don't like it?", he looked hurt.

"no I love it. I was just thinking of how... Almost innocent you look.", I smiled before giving him a reassuring kiss.

He wiggled his eyebrows before sending me a wink.

"exactly! It's deceiving", I bit my lip, the blonde had grown on me quickly and I was beginning to feel hot and bothered by this new look.

He was running his hand through his fresh golden hair, checking it out in the mirror. I hugged him from behind snaking my hand down to his jeans. He groaned as I rubbed him through his pants, teasingly.

"i got us a little something.", he distracted me with a kiss before turning back towards the mirror. I watched as he pulled a bag from his pocket and those butterflies in my stomach were kicked to life.

I don't know why I felt this way when Zack and I did coke, sickly ashamed but also excited at the same time. I think it was the guilt. I'm sure Matt knew about it, but we've never spoke about it.

I did my line first, already used to the initial burn, and the numbness that slowly took over.

We had been doing more and more in the last few weeks. I wasn't worried though, we know our limit.

"hurry the ef up I gotta peepee!", Jimmy banged on the door.

"we're almost done! Why can't you use the other bathroom? And dude say 'Fuck' we aren't children.", Zack laughed. I cleaned up the excess bits of dust and Zacky opened the door.

"its too far!", Jimmy whined shooing us out of the doorway.

Zack walked off to his room and I went to find Matt before I was too high to be around him without being paranoid.

He was sitting on the couch drinking a beer, watching tv, so I plopped down next to him.

"how'd his hair come out?", he asked placing a kiss on my forehead, draping an arm over my shoulder.

"pretty good.", I shrugged.

He let out a large belch.

"how much have you had to drink?", I laughed.

"a lot", he grinned.

I layed out on the couch and rested my head in his lap. He sipped his beer and smiled down and me, but the smile slowly faded.

"you're not doing a good job of hiding this.", he wiped my nose, exposing some white dust on his finger.

My heart began pounding hard.

"Matt I'm not trying to hide it.", I bit my lip, ashamed.

"you're not trying to tell me either.", he finished off his beer, not looking at me.

I sat up so I could talk to him from a normal view, but before we could continue he stood and walked in to the kitchen, and I followed.

He leaned in to the fridge pulling out another beer, and leaned against the counter.

"its not that I didn't want to, I just didn't know how.", I stared at his face waiting for him to look at me, and when he finally did, his almost angry look softened.

"babe-", he sighed walking towards me, "I've known for awhile. I don't mind if you're doing it once in awhile, but maybe you should limit it to special occasions. I'll even do it too, now and then. But not for no reason in the middle of the week. That's what beer is for.", he smiled slightly, raising his beer, adding that last bit to try and lighten the mood I'm sure.

I sighed, he was right. Matt was always right, and so understanding. I owe it to him and myself to cut down before things get out of hand.

I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"You got it Matty. Beer it is.", I swirled my tongue on the rim of his beer bottle, causing him to laugh. I wanted to be more serious with him but by this point I was totally consumed in my high and he was drunk so I think my response was acceptable.

He grabbed me by my ass and lifted me to sit on the kitchen counter, kissing me deeply.

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I woke to the fresh scent of men's body wash, opening my eyes to see Matt searching his draws, a towel wrapped around his hips. I admired him a moment before checking the clock, to notice it was 9 a.m. It makes me wonder why I do drugs, hours disappear in a matter of minutes. I can remember the night but its like it was on fast forward.

"Good morning", I forced through a sleepy voice.

"Hey, I didn't mean to wake you.", he gave an apologetic smile, stopping his search to lay in the bed next to me.

"Where are you off too?", I asked running my fingertips up his still damp, bare side.

"Back to the studio today babe.", his eyes lit up in excitement.

"You're so cute.", I laughed, kissing his nose and then his lips.

I left him to continue getting dressed, headed downstairs deciding I would make the guys breakfast.

French toast, simple and quick. A whole loaf in this house hold though.

"Zacks still asleep?", Johnny asked, placing his plate in the sink, running some water over it.

"I guess so, I haven't checked.", I shrugged, wondering if I should wake him.

"I'll wake his ass up.", Syn placed his plate on top of Johnnys, and laughed before walking in to the living room.

I decided I better do it before they start fucking with him.

Matt scooped me up in his arms effortlessly before I could exit the room. I was so small in his arms, so comfortable.

"Are you coming today?", he spoke loud enough for just me to hear. The room emptied leaving just us. I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Id like too, but I think ill just hang with Leah today."

He gave the most adorable pout making me feel bad for saying no.

"oh cmon! Don't do that! You know i'll just be a distraction."

"Fine. Maybe once we get a few songs down. Buy yanno, Leahs going to be pretty boring today, so hungover she won't get out of bed. Are you sure?", he asked with hopeful eyes.

" I'm sure. I better take care of her.", I nodded.

He carried me to Zacks room and set me on my feet.

"you wake the bear.", he whispered, nudging me towards the door.

"ok. ok.", I swatted his hand and he stifled a laughed.

I crept in the room and slipped into Zackys bed, leaving Matt peaking in from the door way.

I snuggled up close to Zacks back and placed a soft kiss on his neck. His room was so dark you wouldn't even know it was daytime.

"Mmm..", he groaned, stretching out.

"Zee.. are you going to the studio with the guys today?", I rubbed his arm.

"yeah yeah, could you tell them ill meet them there?", he rubbed his face trying to wake up.

"sure babe.", I hopped out the bed and stepped outside the door.

Matt nodded, over hearing the request. "make sure he comes.", his tone serious, almost scary.

I nodded and kissed him before climbing back in to Zackys bed.

He turned to me and smiled through sleepy eyes.

"I made breakfast", I grabbed his hand in mine using my thumb to brush across his knuckles.

"aw babe..", he paused to give me a kiss, "wanna make me a plate? I'm gonna go grab a shower."

"sure.", I nodded sitting up. He grabbed my hand before I could hop off the bed.

"wait, I got some new shit from us.", he reached in to his side draw and pulled out a small orange bottle with a white lid.

A lump grew in my throat.

"i.. was thinking, maybe we can save this stuff for special occasions, or yanno.. the weekends.", I voiced before I gave him a chance to tell me what it was, remembering my talk with Matt.

"Were you thinking that or was Matt? Besides this IS a special occasion, we're going back to the studio today. Writing music!"

"what is it?", I asked, now curious, because even though I knew it was wrong, something inside me itched to be high.

"Just xanax.", he shrugged.

"I've never taken it." I hadn't. I've never even been around anyone who has... That I know of.

"its fine. It's just a chill pill. Which will be good you can just relax today.", he spilled one pill in to his hand, cracked it in half and placed one piece on his tongue, washing it down with the bottle of water that was next to his bed.

He held out the other piece for me in the palm of his left hand offering the water in his other.

"i guess I can just take it.", he sighed at my hesitancy, pressing the pill against his bottom lip, touching the tip of his tongue to it.

'oh what the hell!', I thought.

I crashed my lips against his and pulled the pill into my mouth with my tongue, washing it down with the warm water.

"that a girl", he pecked my lips before grabbing some clothes and heading off to shower.

I scanned through my phone, bullshitting for a some while before getting up to get his food.

"Something tells me I had more than one piece of frech toast, and probably a full cup of orange juice.", Zacky laughed from his door way.

I tried to lean up on my elbows but had some trouble because I was feeling so...drunk? I licked my lips to taste the sweet maple syrup.

'when did I eat his food?', I laughed to myself.

Zack plopped in bed next to me, fully clothed and ready to go, already chewing his last bite of food.

"Sorry boo", I shrugged.

"its ok, early bird gets the worm, and..I like to sleep", he trailed of.

I scooted closer to him, licking a trail of syrup that must have dripped from his lip to his chin. When I reached his mouth he caught my bottom lip between his teeth, earning him a lust filled moan. He pushed me to my back and hovered above me.

"Do you think we have time for a quickie?", he whispered against my lips.

I bucked my hips towards his stiffening hard on arching my back, that was a yes,

Notes

I don't like all this bad bonding time between Zacky and Lex. How do you think Matt's feeling? Hmm.... Sory for the wait, I don't like writing when my boyfriend is home, he's always trying to read my shit. And he has been home a lot lately. Anyway, enjoy! And thankyou for being patient with me. I'm really trying Also! I have ideas for a new story, but I'd really like someone opinions before I start. do you like a story in first person or third better? I can't decide which p.o.v to write it and I don't really like switching pov's too often in one story. Help me out! :p