Not a bad thing

Matt´s POV
I knew exactly what they were doing. I might be hurt and all, but I´m not stupid. They never left me alone in Izzie´s house, there was always someone with me. It was Brian most of the time. He missed Izzie just as much as I was, in a very different way of course, but he wasn’t here now. Lynn took him home a few days ago. Judging by the voices I heard, it was Zacky and Lizzy’s turn now.

Them being here, didn’t make me feel any better. I know I should probably get out more, or better said, again, just as you would like to call it, but I couldn’t. Every time I did get out, I just got mad. Mad at the world. Mad that she wasn’t here, mad that I missed her that much, mad that I didn’t know where she was, mad that I was such a mess. I got so mad, I just wanted to destroy things, to punch a wall or something. And I couldn’t, not at Izzie’s house.

I texted Izzie the first few days, but I never got anything back. I wanted to give her the space and time she needed to get back to me and just hoped she would eventually. She would have to come back for her house and her stuff, and when she did.... I would be right here.

I turned myself around in the bed. The sheets smelled. I decided to change them, except for Izzie’s pillow, that I would keep.

As I was clumsing around with the sheets, Lizzy walked in “Hey! Good, you’re up” she smiled. I groaned. “Just until I changed the sheets” She stood there, hands on her hips
“Don’t you think it’s time to get out a little more? I mean, it’s been over a week now” I looked at her, probably not able to hide the annoyance I felt hearing her say that.

“Don’t look at me like that. I know you are hurt. I understand too, but you need to be ready, ready to face her”

I turned towards her quickly “Why? What do you know? Because as I see it, nobody exactly knows where she is, nobody heard a single thing from her and I, I love her, I miss her, I can’t even get to hate her because she doesn’t reply to me, and you know why Elisabeth? Because I fucking love her that much. I want to be with her, and nobody else, I want her to be my wife, the mother of my children. All when the time was right, and now I don’t even get another fucking one day with her.”

I panted of all the words I tried to get out in such a short time. I crushed the pillow that I was holding, which magically sprung back into its original form when I let go. I sat down on the bed, Lizzy stood in front of me, pulling me into a hug, my head was against her stomach. It was kinda weird, but also weirdly great. Liz was like my little sister, it has been like that since the start. After a few minutes she finally spoke up “I get it Matt, I really do. I’m just worried about you” I sighed “I know. I just can’t help it, I’m sorry that you are all so busy taking care of me, you could just leave me here, I’m only waiting for her to get back.”

Liz moved away from me, “I know you are, but you are my brother and I need to take care of you, so I’m not going anywhere. Are you coming out to eat something?” I shrugged “Not hungry” I finished putting the sheets on the bed, getting in to them again. “Okay, I will bring you something then” She kissed my forehead and walked for the door “Liz?” she turned around to look at me “You will make a great mother one day” a smile came on her face as she turned around and went out of the room, leaving me in silence.

Izzie’s POV
After I ended my conversation with Brian and Lynn, I walked back into the living room where Tammy, Arin and Rye where engaged in a heated discussion “I told you, you needed to ease her into it!” Tammy lectured Arin and Rye. “See what this brought us, now she is definitely not going back! I just needed to get her back to Matt! I was sure he would fix it as long as she was in one room with him! Damnit Arin!”

Arin was the first one to notice me, he walked over to me and hugged me “Izzie, I’m sorry, I just wanted to fix things” I let go of him and looked at his worried eyes. “I know Arin, and you did well, I will get back with you guys in a few days. I just spoke with Brian and Lynn and they told me the same story as you did. I need to find out if Matt still wants me, so I will get back and face him.” Arin hugged me tightly “I’m happy”, Rye joined our hug “Me too! But now I really need to freshen up and lie down for at least half an hour, I’m exhausted!” Arin nodded in agreement. “Let me show you your rooms” Tammy took them upstairs, showing them to their rooms, before she came back and sat down next to me on the couch.

“Are you sure about this?” She asked me. “Why? Do you think I shouldn’t go back?” I looked at my friend. “Oh no, I most certainly think you should go back, why do you think I called Arin? It’s just, you need to be sure about this. You will have to trust him, because if you don’t, this relationship is destined to fail” I frowned my brows “What do you mean?” Tammy put my hands in hers “I mean that if you get back to him, you need to give yourself completely. You can’t get back to him, not trusting him and question every single thing he does. You need to jump in and rely on him blindly” I looked at her, I knew she was right, but trust has always been an issue with me, it didn’t really had to do with Matt.

It was like Tammy read my mind “Izzie, I know it isn’t Matt’s fault that you have trust issues, but you can love like no one I know, not only with men, but also with friends. Leave all your issues here with me, and only take the loving Izzie with you. Matt deserves it, and you deserve it even more. I want you to be happy finally and I think it starts with thrusting him blindly.” I felt tears roll down my face “I don’t know if I can’t, maybe I shouldn’t go back. I can never give him what he needs. Maybe I should stay away and let him move on with his life.” Tammy’s kind eyes looked back at me

“You remember what I wrote in my new book? You are the strongest person I know. It’s time to leave Eric, Chris and your father behind and start enjoying this. I think this is THE ONE, Iz, and I kinda think you know it too” I thought about what she said.. she was right. I loved Matt like I hadn’t loved anyone before, I wanted to grow very very old with him, have his kids, I just needed him with me. He made me strong. I hugged Tammy “Thanks Tams, why aren’t you coming back with us? I would love you to meet all of them, especially Matt” She smiled “I can’t hun, I have a book to finish, but I promise you, I will bring you a copy personally when it’s finished”.

The next few days we spent hanging out and seeing the sights. Tammy cleared her writing schedule for a few days to show us around. Tomorrow Arin, Rye and me would fly back home. I was seriously getting nervous now, but I also couldn’t wait to get back. I talked to Brian and Lynn a lot, I had asked them not to tell Matt, I don’t know, I think I was still looking for a way out, knowing that I could if I wanted to. My talk with Tammy had cleared up a lot of things for me and I think I was ready to get back and start my forever with Matt.

“You are always welcome here, but next time bring Matt, okay?” I hugged Tammy goodbye at the airport, Arin and Rye already passed security. “I promise! You finish that book, I can’t wait to read the rest” My flight was called again “I really have to go now, thanks for everything, you are the best” One last hug and I walked through security. My stomach was full of butterflies, it was a good thing I was going back. I can’t wait to see him. I sat next to Rye in the plane, Arin was behind us. He had put his headphones on and closed his eyes. “Rye, what is going on with you and Arin?” Rye shot her face at me, I could see her blush. I never saw it this bad with her! “What do you mean? Nothing!”

I laughed. “Oh come on Rye, your face says something completely different! You need to tell me, get my mind of things, I won’t survive this flight if you don’t” She sighed and looked behind us, to see if Arin was really not listening in “Okay, Okay, I like him. I was a little mad at him at first for replacing Jimmy” I looked at him, my brows shot up “Don’t look at me like that! Fan first, remember?” I nodded “Allright, go on?” “At first we just had this great click, as friends I mean, I don’t know, we just hit it off, we had things in common, he is easy to talk to and he is really sweet, but then the whole thing with you was there and we kinda bonded keeping it a secret that you texted.” I shot my face at her “You what!? You didn’t tell Matt that I was safe?! Oh god, why didn’t you?” Rye shrugged “We wanted to try and get you first before we got Matt all excited. It worked right?!” I leaned back in my chair, Matt thought I never replied to anything, oh my god, he will be so mad. I seriously started to doubt if this was a good idea.

“Please continue the story, because I’m freaking out here.”
“Okay, yes, we bonded. I don’t know if there is anything there, but I wouldn’t mind if it was.” Rye smiled shyly. She would be perfect for Arin, I just knew it. I hope he will make a move, because Rye most certainly wouldn’t do it.

I leaned back into my chair, trying to calm myself a little. What was the worst that could happen? That he didn’t want me anymore? My heart skipped a beat just by the thought of it. I don’t think I can handle it. I will fight for him, I will convince him that I’m back for good, back for him.

We were picked up at the airport by a very ecstatic Brian and Lynn. Brian held on to me and didn’t really want to let me go until Lynn told him to. They drove directly to my house. The closer I got, the harder my heart beat in my chest. I don’t know if I can do this. Lynn put her hand on my arm “He will be over the moon that you are back, please stop worrying”. Brian parked the car and walked into the house with Lynn and Arin and Rye. “Family business my ass!!! You two just ran off together! Leaving us to take care of Matt. That’s not cool, Kid! Not cool at all!” I heard Johnny yell at Arin. He didn’t see me yet, apparently. “Shut up short shit” I heard Brian say, just before I stepped into the house. Everyone was here. Leyla was the first to see me “Izzie! You are back!” Leyla and Liz jumped me and hugged me tightly “So good to have you back! Oh Matt will be so happy!” I looked around, I didn’t see him. The door to my bedroom was open and no Matt there either. “Where is he?” I asked Zack quietly. Before he could answer Nessa was already next to me, hugging me “He went for a run, he’s been doing that since the day before yesterday”

Everyone was asking me questions, fussing over me, until I heard the one voice I wanted to hear the most, the voice that send shivers down my spine, the voice of the person that made me whole again.

“Everybody get out”

I turned around. There he was. Only wearing shorts, shoes and headphones, having loud music blasting from them.

“I said everybody get out!”

I heard everyone slowly moving towards the door. I couldn’t take my eyes of him, did he plan this?! Fucking hell, he looked so sexy, sweat dripping down his chest, staring at me with those beautiful eyes of his. I could barely breathe. I still heard some movement at the door.

“GET THE FUCK OUT!!!”

Matt growled at them, I heard the door close and then we were really, really alone.

Notes

My lovelies! There is good and bad news in this note...

The bad news is that I won´t be able to update every day this week, it´s crazy (hence the fucking early update today)... I will update today, wednesday and friday and then the final chapter over the weekend.

The good news is that you will have this story for at least this week ;-)

I'm offfff on my business trip! Goodbye my loves! <3