Am I too Lost to be Saved?

I woke up with a start and frantically looked around the room, trying to figure out where I was. My heart was racing, and my breathing was heavy. 'Dear God, help me,' I thought once I realized that I had once again made it to my sister's room sometime in the night, somehow without noticing.

I put my hand to my heart and looked over. Meghan, my older sister, was still deep asleep and had her arms wrapped tightly around my waist. Her peaceful face was slightly flushed, her mouth was partially open, and her hair was sprawled about in all directions on her pillow.The sight of her immediately calmed me. Man, do I loooove my sister!

I twisted out of Meghan's grasp ever so slowly, as to keep from waking her, and slipped off of her tall bed. I stretched and groaned as soon as my feet touched the cold wood floor, and began to tiptoe out of the room and down the stairs to hunt down some breakfast. I took a quick detour to empty my bladder and freshen up, only to remember that we hadn't gone grocery shopping for the week. Damn it all!

Once I finished in the bathroom and continued my trek to the kitchen despite my sudden realization about the groceries. We had to have something, right? I'm pretty sure we had some cereal in the pantry, unless Meghan ate it all... that cow! Hopefully I'd be able to reach it, 'cause Lord knows I am so not that tall!

Even though I searched high and low for the cereal, my stomach got me thinking of some waffles, (which of course we didn't have). Which reminds me...

I looked down to my growing belly and frowned. Ugh! Doctor's appointment today. Nooooooo!
Ah well, yeah, I'm pregnant. And no, that wasn't just some dream. Sucks, huh? But life goes on, and I wasn't going to just get rid of the baby and I've still got my sister.

"Anna?" Aw fuck, the monster has awoken!

"What's up, Meggers," I responded as I continued my search, but finally came up unsuccessful, and went to the fridge. 'Oh, but we have milk. Great.'

Meghan bounded down the stairs and slid into the kitchen, slamming into the counter with an 'oomf'. I turned slowly to look at her, and quirked an eyebrow.

"Good morning," I said. Things like this were normal coming from Meghan. It was what made her amazing. :) "What's for breakfast, oh mighty fatty of the fatties," she said in an accent.

Clearly Meghan had forgotten about my appointment just as I had, which was a bit surprising since she is always super excited about these things for some reason.

"Hmm," I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. Glancing over to the clock on the microwave, I pursed my lips and turned back to my sister. "Well, it's 10:15 right now. And my appointment is at 11:30. We still have to get dressed and get our butts over to the clinic. We can get something real quick, or wait til later and go to the diner afterwards."

"Aw damn!" Meghan face palmed really hard. "I completely forgot about that thing! Well, you should know my answer! I needa see my Suzy girl, anyway." Meghan brought her hands to her cheeks and made a fishy face and then ran up the stairs.

I chuckled and shook my head. Ah, today was going to be a good day.

:)


"Ugh man! I just really wanted to cunt punch that stupid bitch!"

I couldn't help but laugh. Some people turned their heads to see who was making all the noise, but my sister didn't care and neither did the staff of the diner. They and the regulars were used to Meghan and her crazy antics, and they were some of the few people that actually supported me in my decision to keep my baby.

Suzy, the owner and operator of the diner, threw her head back and laughed loudly, resting her hand on Meghan's shoulder. "Oh my sweet girl! And why wouldn't you? If I were a good 20 years younger, I'da knocked that girl clear into next week! I mean, who the Hell does she think she is? People like that ain't half of what you babes are worth!"

At that, I hung my head and subconsciously began to rub my belly, letting my back hit the booth seat with a thud. Who was I to think that I was better than that girl? She was actually very pretty and probably waaaay smarter, she had a chance to follow a career, and had a good job...

Almost as though Suzy could read my mind, she pushed me over slightly and sat next to me, pulled me into her arms, and turned my chin to make me look at her.
"Anna..."
I looked into Suzy's eyes, trying to block everything out and swallow the lump in my throat. Suzy began to rub my back and the stupid tears fell.

"You are one of the bravest girls I know, sweet heart. Don't you ever think less of yourself just because some stuck up bitch walks around looking down on people, thinkin' she's more than she really is. You're wonderful..."

During Suzy's little pep talk, a loud group of young men walked in. Just as I had started sniffling, one guy wearing a white t-shirt and a mohawk stole a few glances at me. I tried my best to pay no mind, but I couldn't really help but steal a few glances of my own before he and his friends walked to a table at the far corner behind our booth and placed their orders.

I turned to Suzy and put on a small smile. "Sorry Suzy," I chuckled, wiping my face with the back of my hands. "It's just the hormones. Thank you."

Before Suzy could say anything more, her husband Don placed a white to-go box in front of me and looked at me with one of the brightest smiles I'd ever seen him in. At this, I sniffed again and laughed. "What's this for Donny?" I looked up at the old man, and his big smile turned into an impish grin.

"The young man over in the white shirt asked me to bring you your favorite," Don said quickly and quietly, jerking his thumb over discreetly. The men at the table got rowdy when I put on a big smile for show and said loudly; "Oh that's so sweet!" Meghan and Suzy started laughing uncontrollably and Don patted my shoulder and walked away shaking his head.

"Well then," I said quietly,trying to hide my blush.

Meghan squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath before saying, "Anna, don't look, but he's staring at you so hard right now. It's sooooo funny dude."

'Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh...' I kept thinking. Without further thought, I turned quickly in my seat. As soon as I made eye contact with the white t-shirt guy, his face turned red, and he quickly ducked his head. Once this happened, all his friends snickered and snorted, trying not to laugh out loud. All except for one.

The tallest guy, with the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen, chucked a piece of syrup-soaked pancake at the poor guy and shamelessly howled with laughter. "BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!!" The blue eyed guy began to hold his stomach from how hard he was laughing after the blushing one successfully dodged the pancake. "Johnny's got a crush!! OH MY GOD!!! You silly son of bitch, you!" At this, the rest of the men began to laugh loudly as well, some reaching over to pat "Johnny" on the back and mumbling a chorus of, "fucking Jimmy".

Johnny covered his face for a moment, then looked up at me apologetically. I couldn't help but smile. What can I say? It was cute!

Suzy got up from the booth, still in a fit of giggles. "It's on the house girls. Y'all can go on home."

"Thanks Suzy!" At the sound of Meghan's voice, my heart dropped, and once again, I looked down to my pregnant belly.

"We're sitting in a booth," my mind screamed. I spun back around to face my sister, eyes wide and palms sweaty. How are we gonna do this? "Meghan, we need to get the fuck out of here. Please!"

Meghan's eyes grew with concern, "Why? What's going on? Are you hurting? What happened?!" Her voice got louder and louder with each question, and I hissed at her and glanced down to my stomach.

"We're sitting in a booth," I whispered. I wanted to yell at her, but my voice wouldn't get any louder. "He can't see my belly. Oh my God, Meghan. I feel so fucking bad!"

Meghan's eyes almost popped out of her head and she quickly started to gather our things. "Bye Suzy! We're leaving!" She got up quickly and pulled me out of the booth and started to the door.

I looked back over to the table where all the guys sat and immediately regretted it as Johnny's face fell. Tears welled in my eyes as I observed all their blank or surprised stares. Silence quickly took over the diner, and it seemed as though I had become the center of attention.

Meghan walked over to my front and glared daggers at everyone in the diner, pushing me out the door. "Let's go baby sis," she said, louder than necessary. "You need to rest."

I looked over to Suzy and Don desperately, and they both had a look of sympathy. 'I'm sorry,' Don mouthed to me. And I shook my head. I just want to go home...

Notes

Hmm... I know, it's a long chapter, but I hope you liked it! I should be putting another one up very soon. Let me know what you think!:) Hope your day or night is going well!