Am I too Lost to be Saved?

Meghan decided to start working at home, which I didn’t have any problem with at all. I loved the idea! Ever since we were kids, Meghan always had some kind of job and was always busy, so for her to be spending more time at home was exciting for me.

“Where is this girl,” Valary whined. It was like she was getting more and more impatient by the second. “Isn’t she supposed to be here already?”

Today the twins and Jenna (Zacky’s new girlfriend) were at our apartment because I finally got permission to turn the extra room into a nursery. Unisex, of course, because I have yet to tell anyone the gender of my baby. The girls were here for a good while, but it wasn’t all that bad until Meghan got a call from her old boss saying that she needed to stop by the store to get her stuff from her locker and pick up her last check. We volunteered to go with her, but she said she would rather go alone to get in and get out.

“She said she’d be home soon,” I reassured the ladies despite my increasing worry. I had been so angry when Meghan told me why Jimbo went ape shit on that stupid prick, and letting her go back to get her stuff alone made me kick myself internally. “It’s kind of unnerving that she’s so long to get something out of her locker, but I’m sure she’ll be okay.”

“For real,” Michelle added. “Should we call or text her just in case, though”

“Nah,” Jenna finally butted in. She had been so quiet since she got here, it was funny. “I’m sure she’s fine. According to Zack, Jimmy kicked some major ass. I doubt anybody is going to mess with her. Hell, Zee came bursting through my door that night, all riled up, going on about Jimmy wrecking shit. You would have thought it was Zack that had been fighting instead!”

“Well if it was that crazy, it must be a good thing that no one jumped in, eh?” Meghan’s voice made me jump and she started to laugh. “Chill out there! I’ve actually been here for a while. Haha!”

“You worried the fuck out of us, you wiener!” Val had her hand to her heart.

“No shit,” I semi-yelled. “Why’d you take so damn long?”

Meghan slumped to the floor and crossed her legs, swinging her bag off her shoulder and sighed loudly. “The owner was practically begging me to stay. I just kept refusing until he fucked off and I left. I don’t know. I’m just tired and happy that I don’t have to fucking work at that damned place anymore.”

Michelle got off her chair and crawled over to my sister and pulled her into a hug, “Well don’t worry about it. What’s done is done, and now you get to spend more time with Anna and little sweetness!”

Val squealed and pulled Jenna up by her hand, then grabbed Meghan’s hand and pulled her up also. “Oh, come on,” she said excitedly. “I’ve got the perfect color scheme for the room! You’re going to love it!”



:)



We all pretty much spent the ENTIRE day painting, moving stuff around, and bickering about how the crib and new rocking chair was supposed to be assembled. By the time the girls left, it was around 7:00 and Meghan and I were finally able to spend some time together. We cooked dinner around 8:30, cleaned up and started watching a movie. Around 10:45, Meghan and I had made our way upstairs, bored.

“Hey Anna?” Meghan was in her room at the moment situating herself with her new online work, and I was in my room redecorating.

“What’s up, sis,” called back to her, pushing my bed back to its original position.

I heard her get up from her desk and start walking over. I turned to meet her gaze and soft smile and she came to sit on my bed, bouncing a bit as she did.

“I was wondering,” she started slowly, twiddling her thumbs. “Yesterday was your 8 months for the baby, and we haven’t really spent any time together much. You think we could hang out after my orientation tomorrow?” There was so much hope in her voice, almost as if she were expecting me to say no. So just for the hell of it, I stayed quiet for a bit, as though I were thinking about it.

“Of course we can Meghan,” I said, smiling wide as she eased her tense shoulders. “But I can’t drive around anymore, so you’ll be in charge of the car from now on.”

Meghan laughed a little harder than necessary. “No problem fatty! We’ll have everyone meet up with us later on in the day. Maybe have a little get together. Jimmy’s been wanting everybody around anyway. I’ll call him and see what’s up.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I said. “Oh, uh, Johnny is spending the night so he should be on his way right now. I made him a spare key, so don’t flip out when he randomly walks i-“

“Babe? You home?” Ah well, speak of the Devil. Meghan laughed and I rolled my eyes. ‘Oh jeez…’

“Yeah baby, I’m up here!” This is why I love this man! Always right on time.

“Haha! Well, I’m going to call my monkey,” Meghan sang, hopping off of my bed. “I’ll leave you two alone.” Meghan walked out of my room as Johnny was about to walk in.

I heard a loud ‘SMACK’ followed by Johnny hissing, “Son of a bitch!” and I laughed. “Hey,” I yelled. “I need him!”

Meghan laughed obnoxiously, “OMG Johnny! Don’t be such a pussy!”

Johnny laughed and wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my hair. “Your fucking sister hits like a grown ass man,” he whined. He was soooo cute! I couldn’t help but giggle at his complaining.

“My God,” he gasped dramatically. “Are you laughing at my pain?!”

I turned so that I could face him and smiled at him. “Don’t be such a pussy, Johnny,” I said in my best Meghan impersonation. Johnny laughed in my face, and stroked my cheek, closing what little distance there was in between us.

Johnny’s beautiful green-hazel eyes caught mine as his right hand traveled to the small of my back, while his left one went to the nape of my neck, his fingers slowly feeling their way into my hair. Every time this happened, the feeling of wanting to turn away diminished and the more I wanted for moments like these to last forever. Ever so slowly, his face came closer, our lips barely grazing, our breath mingling, his eyes never left mine, my breath hitched, and just as our lips met… there was a knock on the front door.

‘Goddamn it!’ Johnny dropped his head just as I thought it. “I’ll get it, babe,” he chuckled. I rolled my eyes, and wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him in for a quick kiss.

“Hurry the fuck back,” I told him, my lips still on his.

“Sure, sure,” he groaned, reluctantly pulling away. Whistling as he made his way out of my room and down the stairs.

I sat on the bed shaking my head, with a big grin on my face. Ugh. Just something about him always makes my heart race. I love that he has this effect on me, it makes me feel like a completely new person.

“Uh, I’m sorry. Who are you,” I heard Johnny ask. ‘What the fuck?’

“Excuse me,” the other person said. Their voice was so familiar… “But who are you? From what I know, you don’t live here…”

“Whether I live here or not isn’t any of your concern,” Johnny spat, clearly frustrated. “I am the person who answered the door. For all you know, this could be my fucking apartment, and I don’t appreciate you inviting yourself in, demanding shit. Would you mind having some Goddamn respect?” ‘There you go, baby,’ I cheered internally.

“I’m sorry,” the familiar voice said. “I’m just looking for my daughters…”

'THE FUCK DID HE JUST SAY?!''

“Well, just have a seat here and I’ll get the owner of the apartment,” Johnny said. I could already hear his footsteps making their way to the stairs, so I came out of my room quickly before he could start to climb them.

“Hey babe,” Johnny said when he saw me. The confusion was so clear on his face. “There’s somebody here to see you. He claims to be your dad?”

I didn’t respond. Instead I went straight down the steps to be met by the one and only. Yeah, it really was him. Felix Santos. My father.

“What do you want,” I asked without thinking. I wanted this to be over with already. I knew he and my mother wouldn’t change.

“Oh, I’m doing perfectly fine, thanks mija,” Felix said sarcastically.

“Great,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Now again, what. Do. You. Want?”

My father sighed, turning to the briefcase he brought with him, and pulled out a brown folder. He threw it on the coffee table and ran a hand over his face and through his hair. Once his eyes met mine, I already knew that this was going to be bad.

“Anna, your mama is sick,” he said slowly. Something that I had already known. She was sick when I left. “And I came to talk to you about it. She wants something from you and she asked that you follow through with it. Your mother is not going to make it this time.”

Johnny’s hand gripped mine, and tears filled my eyes as I stared directly into the eyes of my father. A man I used to be so close to…

“Okay,” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “How much longer?”

My father looked so vulnerable. I wanted so badly to hug him, but I knew that there was something else…

“Not very long,” was all he said.

I looked to Johnny, then looked at the folder that seemed to be burning a hole in my coffee table. “And what is it that she wants?” My father looked up to meet my eyes again. I knew this look all too well. It was almost the same one he gave me when they tried to convince me to-

“Those are adoption papers, Anna,” he said. “For that thing inside of you…”

Notes

Sorry I took so long to update! This upcoming week is my very last for school and after this my finals are coming up, so I'm really buckling down with my school work. Things are going to get a little hectic from here, but I'll do my best to keep updating.

Much love!!:)