Life in Technicolour.
Thirty: Fucking bitch.
I was woken up with a pounding headache and someone shaking my shoulder, I opened my eyes, trying to blink away the sleep, when I managed to focus on Riley I realised that she was home, she was here. I also realised that I had my thumb in my mouth, Jesus I hadn’t sucked my thumb in years.
“Riley” I breathed.
“Hi Zacky” She said “I came home”
“You came home” I blinked rapidly; I must have looked like some sort of spasticated fish.
“Come on sit up” She said, I nodded and did as she said, but I didn’t it too fast and had to bolt for the bathroom, I only just made it before I chucked up the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl in front of me. I felt Riley’s hand on my back, rubbing slow, soothing circles on my back as I threw up. When I was done I got up and brushed my teeth, before groaning and leaning against the sink. I couldn’t look at her, the memories from the night before last coming back to me and I remembered what I’d done, I couldn’t bring myself to look at her.
“Zacky I—“
“Don’t” I said cutting her off “Don’t say it Riley” I glanced up, looking at her reflection in the mirror behind me.
“You don’t know what I’m gonna say”
“You’re gonna tell me that you’re sorry and that you don’t want to marry me, you love me but you’ve never seen the point in marriage and why would you change for just one person”
“Not entirely, I wasn’t going to say that I wouldn’t change, Zacky you know I’d do anything for you”
“Except marry me”
“Zacky please don’t do this, I love you, with all my heart, I just don’t want to get married” I turned around and looked at her, she was breaking my heart all over
again and she had no idea that she was even doing it.
“I know” And then I walked away.
“Zacky I came back to apologise” She said “For everything I said” She followed me back out to the couch, I rubbed my face and sighed. “But then I come home to find all those empty bottles… what is that?”
“Coping mechanism, you of all people I’d expect to understand I looked up at her.
“I do” She took my hand. “But you said how horrible it was watching me destroy myself like that”
“There’s something else though Riley… I did something really bad” Tears sprung to my eyes, I had to tell her, I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore.
“What did you do?”
“I slept with Gena”
“When?”
“The night you left, she came here and it just happened”
“Where did you sleep with her?”
“What?”
“Where?”
“In my room” I mumbled, looking down at her hands, her had gone limp in mine and I held onto it for dear life, afraid she’d bolt. “Don’t leave again” I begged her.
“I don’t know what you want from me anymore Zack” She said flatly “You ask me to marry you, we argue, you get smashed and sleep with your ex-girlfriend, but then you tell me that you still love me”
“I do still love you Riley! That’s what I’m trying to tell you”
“But you betrayed me… with Gena”
“I know but it was a mistake”
“Wanna know what hurts the most?” She asked “I bet you didn’t give me one second thought while you were doing it”
“Riley” I breathed.
“Hi Zacky” She said “I came home”
“You came home” I blinked rapidly; I must have looked like some sort of spasticated fish.
“Come on sit up” She said, I nodded and did as she said, but I didn’t it too fast and had to bolt for the bathroom, I only just made it before I chucked up the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl in front of me. I felt Riley’s hand on my back, rubbing slow, soothing circles on my back as I threw up. When I was done I got up and brushed my teeth, before groaning and leaning against the sink. I couldn’t look at her, the memories from the night before last coming back to me and I remembered what I’d done, I couldn’t bring myself to look at her.
“Zacky I—“
“Don’t” I said cutting her off “Don’t say it Riley” I glanced up, looking at her reflection in the mirror behind me.
“You don’t know what I’m gonna say”
“You’re gonna tell me that you’re sorry and that you don’t want to marry me, you love me but you’ve never seen the point in marriage and why would you change for just one person”
“Not entirely, I wasn’t going to say that I wouldn’t change, Zacky you know I’d do anything for you”
“Except marry me”
“Zacky please don’t do this, I love you, with all my heart, I just don’t want to get married” I turned around and looked at her, she was breaking my heart all over
again and she had no idea that she was even doing it.
“I know” And then I walked away.
“Zacky I came back to apologise” She said “For everything I said” She followed me back out to the couch, I rubbed my face and sighed. “But then I come home to find all those empty bottles… what is that?”
“Coping mechanism, you of all people I’d expect to understand I looked up at her.
“I do” She took my hand. “But you said how horrible it was watching me destroy myself like that”
“There’s something else though Riley… I did something really bad” Tears sprung to my eyes, I had to tell her, I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore.
“What did you do?”
“I slept with Gena”
“When?”
“The night you left, she came here and it just happened”
“Where did you sleep with her?”
“What?”
“Where?”
“In my room” I mumbled, looking down at her hands, her had gone limp in mine and I held onto it for dear life, afraid she’d bolt. “Don’t leave again” I begged her.
“I don’t know what you want from me anymore Zack” She said flatly “You ask me to marry you, we argue, you get smashed and sleep with your ex-girlfriend, but then you tell me that you still love me”
“I do still love you Riley! That’s what I’m trying to tell you”
“But you betrayed me… with Gena”
“I know but it was a mistake”
“Wanna know what hurts the most?” She asked “I bet you didn’t give me one second thought while you were doing it”