The Middle

*Brian’s P.O.V.*

I looked at Zacky and didn’t know what to say to be honest. Everything was fine, the problem was solved and Istarted the countdown until the first day of her proceeding. I didn’t feel bad or even had a guilty conscience actually.

“What do you mean “, I asked confused and drained my whiskey glass.


“No idea. You seem to me to be a little absent. I can’t see all the joy that I expected after such a victory”, he shrugged with his shoulders still staring at me like before.

“I ‘m just a little tired, to be honest. All the stress of the last few days has left its marks on my soul. Please don’t get me wrong”, I gently put my hand on his shoulder and tried put a little smile in my face.

I knew that I was lying to Zacky, I wasn’t feeling really good about this, but right now there was no other way out. In a few days it was all over and as soon as the divorce papers were signed, I was sure that I would be on my feet again without these damn pills.
He looked at me thoughtfully from the side, as if he would not believe me . Ok, I would doubt myself too just because I wasn’t known as someone that came across as emotionless as right now. Actually he reminded me to my big brother, which could be annoying in the long run.

“Do you want to go home?”

I hesitated a little with my decision. Actually, my mood of celebrating had indeed passed a while ago. Although the alcohol had a nice side effect, but you could still continue at home.

“Yep” I got up, put the money on the counter and waited now only for Zacky.

I was in a hurry and just longed for a soft bed to end the day as lazy almost like I had started it. A little surprised Zacky looked at me, even though it was him who had asked this question. There was absolutely no reason to still be confused.

The way home was rather quiet. No one said anything and was occupied with his own thoughts. The sedatives had a pretty long effect. I slowly realized how my legs were getting heavier and it would be really tedious to make the few steps still to Zacky’s house. Each fiber in me was screaming for sleep. I still had the power to suppress a yawn and fall asleep any minute, but I couldn’t guarantee how long it would be until I would fall over like a stone and fell into a deep sleep.
Zacky seemed to have noticed it and supported me the few meters to the front door until he unlocked the door. When I suddenly saw all the mess in the living room, it hit me like a flash. Actually, I had planned to eliminate the clutter before I wanted to go to the police station. Now the remains of my guitar, the splinters of the glass table and the leftovers were still being distributed on the floor. I would rather turn around now and leave than facing this.

“What happened here?” Zacky walked slowly into the room and looked at the mess.

“Zacky … “, I scratched my head , “I think I probably owe you an explanation. “

“I hope for you it’s good, Mister”, he shouted at me and clenched his hand again before he decided not to beat me up.

I had Zacky already seen many times angry, so I was used to that, but he had raised his hand against me twice already today. He was really able to beat his own friend, although I must admit, when he did I had no sense of shame to beat him up as well.

“It’s all just a little too much for me. Please try to understand me. The thing is following, I have been with Sarah for so long, I thought I knew her from head to toe and suddenly I find out a side that scares me. Yes Zacky I was afraid of her. Afraid that something happens to you or to me. I can’t forgive myself for that if she would hurt you, that’s why I protected you from her shot. Otherwise it would not be Roxy, but you lying soon six feet under. Zacky, I almost married a murderer and she doesn’t even realized it that she has done something wrong. Repentance seems to be a foreign word. I just had realized that and I have acted in kind of reflex. I had my guitar on my lap, played a few chords as it came over me. First I smashed the guitar on the wall, then a few objects have learned how to fly the till I hurt myself on the glass table. “

I held up my hand. Meanwhile, the tissue was drenched in blood.
Zacky just stood there, the jaw was dropped down and didn’t know what to say. I think he did not really expect such a response. I was like a volcano, which eventually broke out because everything was hidden deep inside of me.

“I’m sorry that I yelled at you”, he admitted sheepishly, “Sit down. Take some rest while I will clear up all the chaos”, he patted me on the shoulder and then pushed me on the couch.

Even if it was against my dignity, I did as I was commanded.

“Zacky” I said after a while.

“Hmm” he looked up briefly, and then to devote himself again to the stubborn food residues.

“Is it really ok if I live here for a while?”

The question we had never really clarified. It was clear that it is ok for a few days, but now I was here for over a week, had my own room and to be honest I liked it here even. Only thing I didn’t want to take advantage of Zacky and not giving anything back.

“The question is really serious?” he leaned on the back on the sofa and looked at me grinning.

“Yes” I said without even looking at Zacky.

“Sure why not. I’m just amazed that you haven’t rescued Pinkly from the monster called Sarah. She would live here like a queen. After all, she also has someone to play with.”

“Ichabod is actually not one who makes friends to other dogs in his territory” I said, hearing a bell coming closer and closer.

He probably had heard his name calling. After a few attempts, he had also managed to jump on my lap to make it there comfortably.

“Let that be better his decision. What do you mean? Could Pinkly move in here? ” Zacky asked excited the dog as he was able to answer to him .

It was just a loud squeaky barking to hear and so it was probably decided.
I had to admit I missed the little Maltese around me. Even if she was a little bouncing ball like me, she managed to bring a little smile on my face, refrain from all the little smelly gifts she left me through the entire house. She was just my baby that I raised up.

Sometime later Ichabod was gone with Zacky upstairs. He wanted to run a few phone calls, prepare business things or whatever. To be honest I had not really paid attention to what he had said. After a little nap my battery was fully charged again, but apparently even more than usual. I felt as if I had eaten too much chocolate. Only that I had not eaten anything containing sugar.
My mind was screaming for more drugs, just with the little problem that the package didn’t contain more pills. I needed new ones. So I got up quietly, sneaked barefoot upstairs, trying not to attract much attention in general. The door to Zacky’s office was ajar, and when it came to this he had pretty good ears.
Without losing much time I walked down the hall to the bathroom. Once there, I immediately opened the mirror cabinet. But I had no idea that all packages were falling down on me, nor would make such loud noises. I suddenly heard noises from the outside. I gathered all packages again, or let’s say I tried. Again and again the packages slipped out of my hand, plus my wet hands were making the whole thing a bit more complicated. The time ran against me and I fell slightly in panic.
But before I would get no more chance I swallowed some pills and suddenly I heard someone clearing his throat really loudly.

Notes