The Middle

"You can’t do what, Brian?" Zacky looked at me in astonishment.

"I can’t go to the police" I looked him deep in the eyes.

I felt that he was just as surprised as I was. But I couldn’t go to the police and report Sarah for killing Roxy. Surely she committed a crime and needs to punished for it, but I can’t do this to the woman I had planned a future with a week ago. Even though I already knew about her affair for months I couldn’t break up so easily. I still loved her too much. She still owned a little part in my heart, and even people called me stupid for that, but you couldn’t switch love off like this. There was no controller hidden deep inside where you could turn on and off your feelings as you want to. Sarah was my first love. It was now a fact.

"Why? You saw what she did? ", he pointed again to the hospital, we had just left.

"Yes I did several times, thank you. But you don’t seem to understand me ... "

"Exactly, I don’t understand you", Zacky interrupted me.

His voice grew louder and louder, and his frustration also increased. Sure, I could understand him and why he wanted to report her, but I simply couldn’t do that. It was already clear that she had something to do with the sudden death of Roxy, but to finally face it was a big difference.
Deep inside I just felt emptiness. The last days have been too much for me and I wanted to take a big distance to everything right now.

"If you don’t understand why I'm just wasting my time then" I turned my back on him and gave him no time to reply.

I was sure that he wouldn’t follow me anyway, so I decided to go back to Zacky’s house. There I would have time to take a rest for a little while. No one would bother me, or would just bombard me with further comments.

Once there, I slammed the door loudly into the lock. The dirt on the ground didn’t really bothered me right now and I left it as it was, for now. As before, I laid down on the couch, picked up the guitar from the ground and started to play on it. There was no particular song in my mind, plus I wasn’t really that inspired right now either, so I’ve simply played a few chords. Ironically, it was exactly the chords that I wanted to play for Sarah at our wedding. I really couldn’t help myself than thinking about her. All we had ever done together were buzzing around in my head.
Basically, I had a killer as a friend. She almost killed my best friend and then suddenly Roxy was her target. So she had to know something what she was trying to conceal. Such draconian measures was beneath their dignity. In all the years that I knew her, she had always been the nice girl from next door who was always willing to help where she could. In truth, she was a cold-hearted person that no one could stop, when it came to kill people for it. And I have been so blind all this time and couldn’t see anything like this coming. Maybe I was really too busy with myself, with my music to become someone that is known worldwide. However, I was doing this have a lots of money, so we could travel everywhere and buy everything she wants.

No idea if I was actually pissed at her, or rather at me for being so blind-folded. But I had never seen her true colors. I just wanted to scream out loud to get rid of at this inner pain. So I stood up, still hold that guitar in my hand and smashed it with full force against the wall. As in reflex, I turned around and kicked at everything that was close to me. Objects that were in the way flew around until I sank to the floor and smashed the glass table so hard with my right hand that it broke.
Although I wasn’t feeling much better, but it definitely helped me a tiny bit. A warm substance was running down my hand and just now I realized that I was bleeding. But it wasn’t hurting at all. The inner pain was much bigger than any wounds. Before the white carpet would filled up with all my blood, I decided to go to the bathroom to patch up my wound.

Slowly I dragged myself to the bathroom and the first look was into the mirror. I looked as miserable as I felt. Life was literally disappeared from my face. You could compare me easily with a Zombie, not dead, but not alive either.
I turned on the cold water to clean my wound. It burned a little, but I ignored the pain. Then I opened the mirror cabinet, looking for a first aid kit or something similar to that.
However, I had to conclude that Zacky had a lot of pills. Every pharmacy would look old against it, but I cared less about the problems of my friends, but just wanted a bandage. Although it was already an appealing temptation. Seriously I couldn’t numb all my pain with alcohol, even though it was tempting, but if one could numb the pain, then those pills. After all, they were exactly therefore made to conjure away the pain. One or two could not hurt and I would feel much better. I swallowed two of them with water and put the rest of the package in my pocket.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and saw that I had 5 missed calls, all of them came from Zacky. Basically he was just worried about me and actually he was right. Sarah had done something for which she had to pay for. I should start with closing that chapter and I started with the ring.
I threw it in the toilet and flushed it down tagged with all the memories. The first part was finally done. Before I would make my way to the police station, I took two handkerchiefs, put it on my wound and fastened it with a tape. That should be enough for the first.

Slowly the pills had their slightly numbing effect on me. The pain that was current a few minutes before had disappeared.
It was time that I started with the second part of closing the chapter: reporting Sarah to the police. I didn’t waste a second and immediately made my way to the police station. Zacky needed my support. He had always been there for me, and I should now be a good friend to him.

A little bit later I arrived the police station and before I went in I took another deep breath, noticed that my hands were shivering and were slightly wet due to nervousness. It wasn’t easy, but what in life was almost easy. Once again, I swallowed one of these pills and then went inside.
Zacky sat on the bench, his hands were folded and his head resting on it.

"Let's do it. I 'm ready”, I said firmly and looked at Zacky’s green eyes that sparkled when he finally saw me.

"I thought you'd never show up”, he joked as usual.

"I'm sorry about earlier, but I think I needed a little time for myself."

I knew I didn’t had to apologize for that, but I still felt it was somehow necessary.

"Everyone would have been like that, but there's something you should know", he said with a slightly worried voice.

Notes