I had everything set up for the funeral and I bought the flowers for her casket and it was going to be a beautiful service for her. I practiced the songs I was doing for her funeral and I was getting ready to go when I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in." I said as I brushed my hair once more. I looked to see who it was and it was Damien and Nicole. I smiled and they sat down on the bed.

"We're coming to the funeral and all but I wish you could stay just a few days instead of leaving." Nicole said sadly.

"I'll be back to visit and I'll talk to Zacky about flying you all out to California and spending a week or 2 with me." I said and they smiled and nodded. Heather and Craig came through the door and stood against the wall.

"You ready Rave? Craig asked.

"Yeah will you go make sure that they boys are ready?" I asked and he nodded and left the room. Heather hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek.

"I'll be back to visit Heather I promise." I said and she smiled widely and so did I. I grabbed my guitar and we headed out of the house. I locked it behind me and we all piled into our cars. Heather, Nicole, Craig, and Damien all went with their parents while I piled into the car with Zacky and the others.

We drove down to the funeral home and I seen my dad's truck in the parking lot. I just shook my head and thought there would be another confrontation with him. Zacky parked the SUV and we piled out. I looked over at his truck one last time before we all walked into the funeral home. I was standing at the doorway and seen him and my brother standing there viewing her body. I walked up behind them without them noticing and stood at the head of mom's casket. She looked so at peace and wasn't suffering any longer. When my dad and brother noticed me they backed away and left the funeral home. I stood there and hugged people who came to see her and people who stayed. When the funeral service was starting, I sat down with my guitar out of the case ready to perform.

"My friends we lost a very special person in the hearts of many people. Mrs. Rita Croft. Her children will miss her deeply and her friends will also. Her life was filled with hope and wanting to take care of her kids and do what's right for them. Right now as a wish of Rita, her daughter is here to sing 3 of her favorite songs." The preacher said and I walked to the front.

"My mother always loved this song and I know that she's carrying our love with her to heaven so this song is Carrying Your Love With Me by George Strait." I said and began to play and sing.

Baby all I got is this beat up leather bag
And everything I own don't fill up half
But don't you worry 'bout the way I pack
All I care about is gettin' back real soon
A goodbye kiss is all I need from you

Cause I'm carrying your love with me
West Virginia down to Tennessee
I'll be movin' with the good Lord's speed
Carrying your love with me

It's my strength for holdin' on
Every minute that I have to be gone
I'll have everything I'll ever need
I'm carrying your love with me

On a lonely highway stuck out in the rain
Darlin' all I have to do is speak your name
The clouds roll back and the waters part
The sun starts shinin' in my heart for you
You're right there in everything I do

Cause I'm carrying your love with me
West Virginia down to Tennessee
I'll be movin' with the good Lord's speed
Carrying your love with me

It's my strength for holding on
Every minute that I have to be gone
I'll have everything I'll ever need
I'm carrying your love with me

It's my strength for holding on
Every minute that I have to be gone
I'll have everything I'll ever need
I'm carrying your love with me
I'm carrying your love with me

I'm carrying your love with me
West Virginia down to Tennessee
I'll be movin' with the good Lord's speed
Carrying your love with me

The song ended and I wiped my eyes.

"Mom always love it when I played and sang for her and I know she is listening to me right now. These next two songs are by Three Doors Down and this first song by them is When I'm Gone." I said and began playing.

There's another world inside of me that you may never see
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness there's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away, maybe I'm just blind
Maybe I'm just blind

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone
Everything I am and everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be

I'll never let you down even if I could
I'd give up everything if only for your good
So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone, love me when I'm gone

When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends
And roaming through this darkness I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone
Everything I am and everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be

I'll never let you down even if I could
I'd give up everything if only for your good
So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Maybe I'm just blind
So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone
Everything I am and everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be

I'll never let you down even if I could
I'd give up everything if only for your good
So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Love me when I'm gone, whoa
Love me when I'm gone, when I'm gone
When I'm gone, when I'm gone

I wiped away more tears and composed myself for the next song.

"This song and the last song I'll be playing and singing until the burial is Here Without You." I said and began playing and singing once more.

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh

The song ended and I sat back down with the help of Zacky and Damien. The preacher said a few more words and everyone was viewing the body one last time. When it our time to view the body I got up stood there for a good long time. I kissed her forehead and we walked out and got back into the car. Zacky drove right behind the hearse as we made our way to the grave yard. Zacky parked the car and we all piled out. I watched as the pallbearer's took my mom over to the grave. The funeral director led us to the seats and I sat down with my guitar in hand. The preacher said a few more words and I got up once more.

"Mom wanted this song played at her burial site. It's by Chris Tomlin and it's Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)." I said and started playing again.

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God who called me here below
Will be forever mine, will be forever mine
You are forever mine

I finished the song and the preacher said the Lord's Prayer and we all got up and walked away before they started putting her in the grave. I stood next to an unmarked grave and watched them as they lowered her into the ground. The wind blew my hair to the side in front of my face. I looked at Zacky and made my way over to him. I stopped one last time to look at her grave and we piled back into the car to go to airport. The drive was silent but that's how I wanted it. We boarded the plane and I watched as my hometown state faded away in the distance. I laid my head back and kept looking out the window and fell asleep quite quickly.

Notes

comments?

Please don't forget about my other story called Wolf Pack