Perfectly Reckless
Chapter 29
Memphis, Tennessee – 2013
We were on our fourth venue for The Strange Case of Tour and Joe was still being awkward around me. He hadn’t talked to me at all, not personally at least. When we were in front of RJ and Josh he would actually come up to me and discussed about new material for the new album and we were always writing on the road.
I noticed that he never laughed when he was around me anymore. But everytime Wesley made some awkward and weird jokes he would call her Weird Wesley and I can’t help but wonder. Is there something going on between him and Wesley?
As for me and you know who, it’s been 2 weeks since I agreed to date him but not once we’ve gone on a date. After ROTR, we parted ways just like that. Avenged Sevenfold left a little earlier than us, so he just texted me in the morning we’re supposed to leave for Oklahoma;
We’re off to Kansas City. Wish you’re here beside me. –Matt
I remembered getting all giddy up when I received that first text from him. Wesley was a bit disturbed in her sleep but I didn’t care. I went into the bathroom and texted him back.
Safe journey. We’re off to Oklahoma in 2 hours. Wish you’re here too. –Lzzy
God, this secret affair was making me excited. After that, we kept texting each other. Sometimes he would call, but I had to take the call a bit far away from my band mates. Especially Joe. I don’t want to hurt him since we’ve just broken up.
I sighed and looked around the moving bus. We were 30 minutes away from our venue in Memphis Minglewood Hall, and everybody was busy doing their own stuff. RJ was skyping with Jesse, Josh was playing his bass guitar and I saw Joe was talking quietly with Wesley in the kitchenette, from my bunk. I gave up waiting for Matt’s text today – maybe he was too busy – and got out of my bunk, approaching them.
Joe was smiling at what Wesley said, and I was curious to what were they talking about. Wesley saw me getting near and she quickly drew back from Joe. Joe spun around and I watched his facial expression changed.
“Hey you guys.”
Wesley smiled tightly at me and brought out a sandwich which she had been making for the past couple of minutes with Joe.
“Hey Lzzy.” She waved awkwardly and left the both of us there. Joe started to walk past me but I blocked his way.
“Joe, let’s talk.”
He rolled his eyes. “About what?”
“About us. About you and Wesley.”
“What? What about me and Wesley?”
“You guys are getting pretty close to each other.”
He smirked and crossed his arms on his chest. “And that bothered you because?”
I widened my eyes at him. Feeling a little taken aback by his crude response.
“It doesn’t. I’m just curious. When did you guys become this close?”
“Why do you even care?” he huffed and walked right past me, slamming my shoulder until I was forced to move to the side. Oh God, where did my best friend go? I don’t know this guy anymore. Without knowing a tear dropped to my cheek and I ran to my bunk, pulling up the curtain and cried on the pillow.
~*.*~
“Lzzy, Lzzy.”
I fluttered open my eyes. The first thing I saw was my parent’s picture that I pasted on the wall of my bunk. I turned around.
“My God, what happen to you?” RJ said, sitting down at the edge of my bunk bed. I always take the lowest bunk so that I could have easy access to it although it will be the most disturbed place to sleep ever.
“Why?”
“Your eyes, puffy and red. Have you been crying? Why, sis?”
I wiped my eyes and yawned. “Have we arrived?”
“Yeah. Just 15 minutes ago.”
“How long have I asleep?”
“An hour or so, I guess. Why are you crying, Lzzy?”
I sat up straight and folded my legs. I wanted to say something to RJ, since he’s my brother and we shared almost everything. But then I jerked my head out, looking for Joe and Wesley.
“Don’t worry, nobody’s here. They went out to grab some lunch.”
I nodded and wiped traces of tears on my cheek. RJ swung his arm around me and waited for my explanation.
“I’m an asshole, RJ.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said I’m an asshole. To Joe.”
“Joe? Why?”
“I broke up with him. Because of…Matt.”
He stared blankly at me, not knowing what to say probably. Until I continued;
“I just can’t bear hurting him anymore. And I can’t lie to myself that I actually like Matt more than I should.”
“So..so..you’ve told Joe that you’re in love with Matt?”
I looked down to my lap. “I might have. Accidentally.”
RJ laughed suddenly. He drew his arm back and rubbed his face in laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
“I knew it, sis. I knew you have deep shit fucking feelings for Matt. When you started off with Joe I was worried. That you might just wanna forget about Matt and you used him but you guys stayed together for three damn years.”
“I was using him to forget about Matt.”
“Oh dear. And he knew about this?”
I nodded.
“God, Lzzy. You are an asshole. But he looked pretty normal? I never see him cry or anything like that.”
“He’s a guy. Do you expect him to cry?”
RJ shrugged. “And he’s closer to Wesley now, more than I am. Usually I would have to endure her awkward jokes but now Joe seemed to be easily entertained by it.”
“Yeah. I don’t mind if they want to hit it off but he’s ignoring me the whole time, RJ. I can’t live with that.”
RJ patted me on the back and kissed my forehead. “Don’t worry, sis. I’ll talk to him.”
“You would do that?”
“Yeah. I don’t want to see my two guitarists on a cold war. Come on, we need chemistry on stage!”
I smiled and felt like my burden had been lifted off my shoulder.
“You wanna grab some lunch or what?”
“Nah. I think I’m staying here.” Yeah, I wanna wait for some texts from Matt. RJ got up and left my bunk, making his way out of the bus eventually. I was left alone, not knowing what to do.
I reached for my iPhone and saw there were 5 unread messages. All of them were from Matt. Shit, I was sleeping earlier so I didn’t notice!
Dallas was awesome, babe. You should’ve seen this fan we invited on stage, he played Unholy Confessions perfectly. – Matt
Babe, you’re there? – Matt
Oh man, I felt sorry for him. But my heart fluttered, butterflies roamed in my stomach when I read the next messages, showing that he was worried about me.
You’re okay there, Lzzy? Why didn’t you reply me? – Matt
Lzzy, baby. Reply this or God help me I will fuck you hard and senseless when we meet each other again. – Matt
I laughed aloud and felt my cheeks flushed reading that desperate text from him. Oh shit, suddenly I remembered what Johnny had said about Matt’s state of mind when he was singing Shepherd of Fire. Shivers ran all over my body and I was squirming like a jelly as I read the text for over and over again.
We’ve arrived in Jackson, Tennessee. If you even care. – Matt
I bulged my eyes, my mouth dropped open in a wide grin. He was only an hour away from me! We could meet! And we could…you know. Do whatever he wanted to do to me if I don’t reply him. With blushing cheeks I dialed his number. This considered as not replying, right?
“Hello?” He said, more like whispered.
“Hello, Matt.”
“Lzzy, why didn’t you answer my messages?”
I chuckled. “I was sleeping. Sorry. So you wanna fuck me hard and senseless?”
“Oh yes please.”
“Meet me at Somerville in an hour.”
“What? Somerville…that’s like…30 minutes away. Are you nearby?”
“Yeah. We’re in Memphis.”
“Dear God. I have sound check at 5. I’ll meet you there and we have to be quick.”
“See you there.”
We were on our fourth venue for The Strange Case of Tour and Joe was still being awkward around me. He hadn’t talked to me at all, not personally at least. When we were in front of RJ and Josh he would actually come up to me and discussed about new material for the new album and we were always writing on the road.
I noticed that he never laughed when he was around me anymore. But everytime Wesley made some awkward and weird jokes he would call her Weird Wesley and I can’t help but wonder. Is there something going on between him and Wesley?
As for me and you know who, it’s been 2 weeks since I agreed to date him but not once we’ve gone on a date. After ROTR, we parted ways just like that. Avenged Sevenfold left a little earlier than us, so he just texted me in the morning we’re supposed to leave for Oklahoma;
We’re off to Kansas City. Wish you’re here beside me. –Matt
I remembered getting all giddy up when I received that first text from him. Wesley was a bit disturbed in her sleep but I didn’t care. I went into the bathroom and texted him back.
Safe journey. We’re off to Oklahoma in 2 hours. Wish you’re here too. –Lzzy
God, this secret affair was making me excited. After that, we kept texting each other. Sometimes he would call, but I had to take the call a bit far away from my band mates. Especially Joe. I don’t want to hurt him since we’ve just broken up.
I sighed and looked around the moving bus. We were 30 minutes away from our venue in Memphis Minglewood Hall, and everybody was busy doing their own stuff. RJ was skyping with Jesse, Josh was playing his bass guitar and I saw Joe was talking quietly with Wesley in the kitchenette, from my bunk. I gave up waiting for Matt’s text today – maybe he was too busy – and got out of my bunk, approaching them.
Joe was smiling at what Wesley said, and I was curious to what were they talking about. Wesley saw me getting near and she quickly drew back from Joe. Joe spun around and I watched his facial expression changed.
“Hey you guys.”
Wesley smiled tightly at me and brought out a sandwich which she had been making for the past couple of minutes with Joe.
“Hey Lzzy.” She waved awkwardly and left the both of us there. Joe started to walk past me but I blocked his way.
“Joe, let’s talk.”
He rolled his eyes. “About what?”
“About us. About you and Wesley.”
“What? What about me and Wesley?”
“You guys are getting pretty close to each other.”
He smirked and crossed his arms on his chest. “And that bothered you because?”
I widened my eyes at him. Feeling a little taken aback by his crude response.
“It doesn’t. I’m just curious. When did you guys become this close?”
“Why do you even care?” he huffed and walked right past me, slamming my shoulder until I was forced to move to the side. Oh God, where did my best friend go? I don’t know this guy anymore. Without knowing a tear dropped to my cheek and I ran to my bunk, pulling up the curtain and cried on the pillow.
~*.*~
“Lzzy, Lzzy.”
I fluttered open my eyes. The first thing I saw was my parent’s picture that I pasted on the wall of my bunk. I turned around.
“My God, what happen to you?” RJ said, sitting down at the edge of my bunk bed. I always take the lowest bunk so that I could have easy access to it although it will be the most disturbed place to sleep ever.
“Why?”
“Your eyes, puffy and red. Have you been crying? Why, sis?”
I wiped my eyes and yawned. “Have we arrived?”
“Yeah. Just 15 minutes ago.”
“How long have I asleep?”
“An hour or so, I guess. Why are you crying, Lzzy?”
I sat up straight and folded my legs. I wanted to say something to RJ, since he’s my brother and we shared almost everything. But then I jerked my head out, looking for Joe and Wesley.
“Don’t worry, nobody’s here. They went out to grab some lunch.”
I nodded and wiped traces of tears on my cheek. RJ swung his arm around me and waited for my explanation.
“I’m an asshole, RJ.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said I’m an asshole. To Joe.”
“Joe? Why?”
“I broke up with him. Because of…Matt.”
He stared blankly at me, not knowing what to say probably. Until I continued;
“I just can’t bear hurting him anymore. And I can’t lie to myself that I actually like Matt more than I should.”
“So..so..you’ve told Joe that you’re in love with Matt?”
I looked down to my lap. “I might have. Accidentally.”
RJ laughed suddenly. He drew his arm back and rubbed his face in laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
“I knew it, sis. I knew you have deep shit fucking feelings for Matt. When you started off with Joe I was worried. That you might just wanna forget about Matt and you used him but you guys stayed together for three damn years.”
“I was using him to forget about Matt.”
“Oh dear. And he knew about this?”
I nodded.
“God, Lzzy. You are an asshole. But he looked pretty normal? I never see him cry or anything like that.”
“He’s a guy. Do you expect him to cry?”
RJ shrugged. “And he’s closer to Wesley now, more than I am. Usually I would have to endure her awkward jokes but now Joe seemed to be easily entertained by it.”
“Yeah. I don’t mind if they want to hit it off but he’s ignoring me the whole time, RJ. I can’t live with that.”
RJ patted me on the back and kissed my forehead. “Don’t worry, sis. I’ll talk to him.”
“You would do that?”
“Yeah. I don’t want to see my two guitarists on a cold war. Come on, we need chemistry on stage!”
I smiled and felt like my burden had been lifted off my shoulder.
“You wanna grab some lunch or what?”
“Nah. I think I’m staying here.” Yeah, I wanna wait for some texts from Matt. RJ got up and left my bunk, making his way out of the bus eventually. I was left alone, not knowing what to do.
I reached for my iPhone and saw there were 5 unread messages. All of them were from Matt. Shit, I was sleeping earlier so I didn’t notice!
Dallas was awesome, babe. You should’ve seen this fan we invited on stage, he played Unholy Confessions perfectly. – Matt
Babe, you’re there? – Matt
Oh man, I felt sorry for him. But my heart fluttered, butterflies roamed in my stomach when I read the next messages, showing that he was worried about me.
You’re okay there, Lzzy? Why didn’t you reply me? – Matt
Lzzy, baby. Reply this or God help me I will fuck you hard and senseless when we meet each other again. – Matt
I laughed aloud and felt my cheeks flushed reading that desperate text from him. Oh shit, suddenly I remembered what Johnny had said about Matt’s state of mind when he was singing Shepherd of Fire. Shivers ran all over my body and I was squirming like a jelly as I read the text for over and over again.
We’ve arrived in Jackson, Tennessee. If you even care. – Matt
I bulged my eyes, my mouth dropped open in a wide grin. He was only an hour away from me! We could meet! And we could…you know. Do whatever he wanted to do to me if I don’t reply him. With blushing cheeks I dialed his number. This considered as not replying, right?
“Hello?” He said, more like whispered.
“Hello, Matt.”
“Lzzy, why didn’t you answer my messages?”
I chuckled. “I was sleeping. Sorry. So you wanna fuck me hard and senseless?”
“Oh yes please.”
“Meet me at Somerville in an hour.”
“What? Somerville…that’s like…30 minutes away. Are you nearby?”
“Yeah. We’re in Memphis.”
“Dear God. I have sound check at 5. I’ll meet you there and we have to be quick.”
“See you there.”
Notes
A/N: ahauhuehuahuehua it's coming! (pun intended LOL)
@RyeBellamy
You're very welcome
7/29/18