Perfectly Reckless
Chapter 25
Columbus Street, 2013
Fuck I can’t concentrate. All the notes and chords in the world seemed wrong now that she’s not with me anymore. I’ve stayed with her all the fucking time, helped her write songs about that guy, watched her going through sleepless nights after Jimmy Sullivan – the legendary drummer died – and many more difficult moments in her life. But I never thought that she would one day return my feelings that I had for her all this while.
Turns out she never did.
I was a fool for wanting to believe. I avoided groupies and fangirls because I was afraid that she might get hurt. Lzzy never actually had opinions about them but I know she’d get awkward around them. I never knew why though.
We could lie to the world that we are happy with our relationship, but we can’t lie to ourselves. I wish everything would go back to 4 years ago. Before we even started dating and just be with each other as best friends.
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
I glanced up from staring at my own feet. Wesley walked towards me with her lazy feet tapping and she shook her head while at it. I was running away. I know we have schedule to follow but dealing with this break up, I’m just not myself right now.
“What are you doing here, alone and unprotected? Your fans might see you.”
I sighed and leaned back to the bench I chose just nearby the hotel street.
“How did you find me?”
“An instinct.”
I frowned at her. Her answer to every question was always the weirdest. Just like herself.
“Whose instinct?”
“Mine, of course.” She said, landing her rear beside me and we both stared at a stiffened tree lump in front of us.
“Why are we staring at this tree?” she asked, tilting her head a little. I don’t know why, but no matter how weird I think she is, I’m comfortable being around her. Because she didn’t ask me anything about Lzzy or anyone.
“Here, smell my fingers.” She suddenly shoved her palm at me and I drew back instantly.
“What the fuck, Wesley? That’s gross!”
“What are you talking about? It’s not like I just walked out of a toilet! I just bought a new perfume and I told you to smell it.”
“Don’t, and I mean don’t ever do that in front of anyone.” I scoffed, and she stared awkwardly at me.
“Jeez, sorry Grumpy Head.”
“Why are you even here?”
“Oh, I almost forgot. You guys have an interview in just….2 hours. Have you seen Lzzy?”
My eyes changed direction from looking at her brown irises to the bench behind her and finally fell on the floor.
“No.” I lied. But well, not technically. Last I’ve seen Lzzy was in the backstage and she might have gone to her room already.
“Oh man. We’ve tried calling her but she didn’t pick up.”
Yeah, mostly because maybe she didn’t want the guys to see her cry. I knew that quality in her. She doesn’t like people to see her tears and hiding from them. Even when Jimmy Sullivan died, she didn’t cry as much in front of us. But I saw her crying hard once, in her bunk.
“Maybe you should check her room.”
“Duh. I’ve checked it. It’s my room too, remember?”
I raised my eyebrows and shrugged. “Then maybe she went for a walk or something.”
“Is there something happened between you guys?”
“What, what do you mean?”
“Why are you not with her? I usually always see the two of you together.”
Shit, now the questions are coming. Please don’t, Wesley. “You’ve only known us for two days. Chill out.”
“Fair point.” She said and started to get up from the bench. “I’m going to look for her.”
I smiled tightly and didn’t answer. After a few moments, she was still standing in front of me. Her brown eyes bulged behind her glasses.
“What?” I asked in an even tone.
“Well, you’re coming or not?”
I groaned. “Lzzy, just let me be.”
She stared awkwardly at me, even more. “Joe, I’m Wesley.”
Oh fuck. I can’t get her out of my head now, can I? I ran my hands through my long hair and buried my face in them. I heard a faint sound of fabric shuffling beside me and realized that Wesley sat back down next to me. I ignored her, but then suddenly I felt an arm wrapped around my shoulder and a heavy force softly pressed on it. I glanced sideways. She was resting her head on my shoulder with her arm around me, perfectly fit. Unlike Lzzy who always had to bend her body down when she put her arms around me because of her long and lean features.
“Hush little darling don’t say a word. Mommy’s gonna buy you a mocking bird..” Wesley sang and I can’t help but feel calm. Her voice is soothing, so fit to be filled with jazz music around. I wondered why she did this, comforting me. Though the song was practically more suitable to be sung to Joanna rather than me, but she didn’t care. She rocked my body sideways gently, following her melody from that song.
“Wesley, what are you doing?”
“Shh…you’re hurt. Just stare at the tree and pretend that it’s alive.”
“What?”
“Just do what I say.”
I chuckled and unintentionally rested my head on hers. “You’re weird, you know that?”
“I know.”
“I should call you Weird Wesley.”
She laughed softly. “I’d like that. If it’s coming from you.”
Woah. What’s the meaning of all this? Why is my heart beating like a kick drum? Why is my head no longer filled with thought of Lzzy anymore? Shit.
Fuck I can’t concentrate. All the notes and chords in the world seemed wrong now that she’s not with me anymore. I’ve stayed with her all the fucking time, helped her write songs about that guy, watched her going through sleepless nights after Jimmy Sullivan – the legendary drummer died – and many more difficult moments in her life. But I never thought that she would one day return my feelings that I had for her all this while.
Turns out she never did.
I was a fool for wanting to believe. I avoided groupies and fangirls because I was afraid that she might get hurt. Lzzy never actually had opinions about them but I know she’d get awkward around them. I never knew why though.
We could lie to the world that we are happy with our relationship, but we can’t lie to ourselves. I wish everything would go back to 4 years ago. Before we even started dating and just be with each other as best friends.
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
I glanced up from staring at my own feet. Wesley walked towards me with her lazy feet tapping and she shook her head while at it. I was running away. I know we have schedule to follow but dealing with this break up, I’m just not myself right now.
“What are you doing here, alone and unprotected? Your fans might see you.”
I sighed and leaned back to the bench I chose just nearby the hotel street.
“How did you find me?”
“An instinct.”
I frowned at her. Her answer to every question was always the weirdest. Just like herself.
“Whose instinct?”
“Mine, of course.” She said, landing her rear beside me and we both stared at a stiffened tree lump in front of us.
“Why are we staring at this tree?” she asked, tilting her head a little. I don’t know why, but no matter how weird I think she is, I’m comfortable being around her. Because she didn’t ask me anything about Lzzy or anyone.
“Here, smell my fingers.” She suddenly shoved her palm at me and I drew back instantly.
“What the fuck, Wesley? That’s gross!”
“What are you talking about? It’s not like I just walked out of a toilet! I just bought a new perfume and I told you to smell it.”
“Don’t, and I mean don’t ever do that in front of anyone.” I scoffed, and she stared awkwardly at me.
“Jeez, sorry Grumpy Head.”
“Why are you even here?”
“Oh, I almost forgot. You guys have an interview in just….2 hours. Have you seen Lzzy?”
My eyes changed direction from looking at her brown irises to the bench behind her and finally fell on the floor.
“No.” I lied. But well, not technically. Last I’ve seen Lzzy was in the backstage and she might have gone to her room already.
“Oh man. We’ve tried calling her but she didn’t pick up.”
Yeah, mostly because maybe she didn’t want the guys to see her cry. I knew that quality in her. She doesn’t like people to see her tears and hiding from them. Even when Jimmy Sullivan died, she didn’t cry as much in front of us. But I saw her crying hard once, in her bunk.
“Maybe you should check her room.”
“Duh. I’ve checked it. It’s my room too, remember?”
I raised my eyebrows and shrugged. “Then maybe she went for a walk or something.”
“Is there something happened between you guys?”
“What, what do you mean?”
“Why are you not with her? I usually always see the two of you together.”
Shit, now the questions are coming. Please don’t, Wesley. “You’ve only known us for two days. Chill out.”
“Fair point.” She said and started to get up from the bench. “I’m going to look for her.”
I smiled tightly and didn’t answer. After a few moments, she was still standing in front of me. Her brown eyes bulged behind her glasses.
“What?” I asked in an even tone.
“Well, you’re coming or not?”
I groaned. “Lzzy, just let me be.”
She stared awkwardly at me, even more. “Joe, I’m Wesley.”
Oh fuck. I can’t get her out of my head now, can I? I ran my hands through my long hair and buried my face in them. I heard a faint sound of fabric shuffling beside me and realized that Wesley sat back down next to me. I ignored her, but then suddenly I felt an arm wrapped around my shoulder and a heavy force softly pressed on it. I glanced sideways. She was resting her head on my shoulder with her arm around me, perfectly fit. Unlike Lzzy who always had to bend her body down when she put her arms around me because of her long and lean features.
“Hush little darling don’t say a word. Mommy’s gonna buy you a mocking bird..” Wesley sang and I can’t help but feel calm. Her voice is soothing, so fit to be filled with jazz music around. I wondered why she did this, comforting me. Though the song was practically more suitable to be sung to Joanna rather than me, but she didn’t care. She rocked my body sideways gently, following her melody from that song.
“Wesley, what are you doing?”
“Shh…you’re hurt. Just stare at the tree and pretend that it’s alive.”
“What?”
“Just do what I say.”
I chuckled and unintentionally rested my head on hers. “You’re weird, you know that?”
“I know.”
“I should call you Weird Wesley.”
She laughed softly. “I’d like that. If it’s coming from you.”
Woah. What’s the meaning of all this? Why is my heart beating like a kick drum? Why is my head no longer filled with thought of Lzzy anymore? Shit.
Notes
A/N: so...if Wesley and Joe..what do you think? XD
@RyeBellamy
You're very welcome
7/29/18