Perfectly Reckless
Chapter 24
Backstage, ROTR - 2013
Well, this is just GREAT. We stared at each other long, in an awkward position - much more awkward than Wesley’s jokes – which is me sitting down on the floor with aching feet and him, standing stock still with a bulging…growing…groin.
I can’t help but arched my eyes to that direction and he quickly searched for a spot to hide behind one of the vaults in the room. Man, is this room getting hot or is it just me?
“Um..” he started.
“So..” I began.
God, this reminded me so much of our awkward morning after we found out that we just slept together. It felt like those 10 years came crashing down upon us right now. I don’t know why but I get the feeling that there are some sort of higher powers up there smirking and grinning as they decide our fate. Choosing to put us both in here so that we could never run from each other again. Are we your puppets or what?
“What are you thinking about?”
I snapped and realized that I was glaring at the ceiling. My mind combusting with curse words for whoever it is Up There but then quickly meeting his hazel eyes from behind the vault. Only his head was visible as he was peeking to get a better look at me. I can’t help but chuckle.
“Matt, what are you doing back there?”
“I just need to be here, okay.”
“Oh my God. Are you jerking off back there?!”
“NO I WASN’T! I mean, NO I’M NOT!”
I laughed uncontrollably, that I had to bury my face on the wall and smacked on it hard with my palms.
“What’s so funny?!”
“You Matt! You are! Wow, I never thought that the famous and fierce leader of Avenged Sevenfold would be trapped here, with me, and…”
“Shut up! I’m not jerking off! Look!”
He came out of his hiding and I can see that his problem was still growing. I immediately stopped laughing and felt my cheeks flushed.
“It’s partly your fault.” He stated glumly.
“Wha – why is it my fault?”
“You rubbed your foot on me and your whimpers didn’t help either.”
I bit my lip and felt two things at once. Guilty and flattered. I was flattered that I could turn him on like that, exactly like he would easily turns me on but then I felt guilty too, knowing that I shouldn’t. Especially when we’re both trapped like this.
“Okay, I’m sorry. It was an accident. Let’s just…talk about things that could turn you off.”
“Fine. When did you get married with Joe?” he said, leaning his back against the black box and crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’m not. What gave you the idea that I’m married to him?”
He widened his eyes and dropped open his mouth. “But…I saw you and him together..and the kid. She isn’t your daughter?”
“Well, that doesn’t mean that I’m married to him.”
“Oh. But she is your daughter? Who’s the father?”
“RJ.”
“WHAT?!”
I laughed because the look on his face was just priceless.
“Relax, Matt. I am not that desperate. She’s RJ’s daughter. My niece. But to me she’s like my own.”
He looked relieved. Dimples were showing on his cheeks again as he approached me nearer.
“What about you? Mr Hot Shot?”
“Huh, what about me?”
“You got married to that bitch.”
“Hey,”
“Well to me she’s a bitch. And so are you.” My insides flared with anger and jealousy when I crossed a thought about his wife. Or ex-wife. He did mention the’ ex’ word earlier, correct?
“Are you still angry? At me?”
“I’m over it Matt. But I just don’t get it why would you cheat on her when you know you’re going to marry her in the end? It makes you an asshole. Big time.”
He took a deep breath and finally landed himself beside me, but quite far apart.
“I don’t get it either. I just know that it was a right thing to do, sleeping with you. And she had been with us from the very start. Well, if you watched our All-Excess video-”
“I haven’t watched it.” I lied. I watched it like fifty fucking times.
“– um, well. If you watched it, then you’ll know our history. She’s the one who helped us through. I owe everything to her.”
“Including yourself?”
“It’s the only price that I can afford.”
I frowned at him. So the marriage was not built based on love? How the hell did he manage to stay with her? And how blind can that woman be? Surely Matt isn’t the only guy in her life?
“I gave myself to her but I didn’t regret one bit. It got me to who I am now.”
I raised my eyebrows and huffed. “Well, enjoy it while it lasts.”
“We’re divorced.” There. He confirmed it. I coughed awkwardly, finding a spot where I can look to run from his demeaning eyes.
“And the kid that I bumped into..”
“Is my son. River James Sanders.”
My heartstring ached when I heard that middle name. I shut my eyes tight and inhaled deeply.
“I miss Jimmy.”
“So do we. Every fucking minute.”
“How are you guys coping?”
He smiled sincerely at me, his eyes glistening with almost tears and it melted my heart right away. I scooted nearer, but still we were sitting far apart.
“We have our fans to thank for. If it wasn’t for them, Avenged Sevenfold would probably be gone by now.”
I smiled bitterly. Every part of me regretted that I wasn’t with him when the whole thing happened. I was mad at myself for throwing a 10 years bitch fit over something so stupid.
“Why are you running away from me, Lzzy?”
I craned my neck, alerted at the question. Why does everyone seems to wanna know that?
“I didn’t.”
“Hah, liar liar. Plants for higher.” He sang a familiar tune. I bulged my eyes and grinned widely.
Hey, I know that line!
“It’s pants on fire, Patrick.”
He grinned too, his dimples dented on his scruffy cheeks. “Well, you would know. Liar.”
We burst out laughing to an extension that I realized, we weren’t sitting that much far anymore. His body was inches away from mine, if we put our hands on the floor together, they would collide.
“Spongebob rerun?”
“Yeah, the only interesting thing on TV last night.”
I blushed and looked down on the floor, remembering that watching Spongebob wasn’t the only thing that I did last night. I was with Joe and tried hard not to think about this guy when we were having sex.
“I ran away from you because I’m afraid that I might fall for you Matt.” I said quietly after we settled our laughter. I hope he didn’t hear me. But he heard every word. Damn, his ears sure are sharp.
“And..you can’t. Cause you have Joe.”
“We..broke up.” I said to the ground. Quite long actually, the staring contest between me and the cold floor, until when I glanced up, he was staring at me. His eyes lit and his lips curved up into a shaky smile, like he was holding back the temptation to grin.
“I’m…so sorry to hear that. Are you okay?”
I narrowed my eyes to him. “Sorry my ass! You’re clearly enjoying this.”
“I’m not!” he grinned. “That’s a bad, bad news.”
“Fuck off Matt. I just broke up, okay. I’m supposed to be sad and now why the fuck am I smiling?!”
He giggled and scooted in just a little closer until our shoulders touched. I suppressed a giggle too since seeing M.Shadows giggling like a school girl was a really amusing sight to me.
“I think you’ve cried enough.”
My giggling gradually halted when I saw his face came nearer until our foreheads almost pressed on each other’s. He put a finger under my chin and tilted my head up, staring into my eyes along the way before his plump lips touched mine. Softly, and letting go. His hand reached up to my cheek, caressing below my ear with his calloused fingers.
That moment, I’ve decided that I’m done fighting.
I snaked my palms around his neck and pulled him closer into a kiss. He immediately opened his mouth and our tongue met in a synching rhythm. I felt my whole body shivered, and I’ve never felt anything like it before. Not even with Joe.
I couldn’t hear anything besides our groans, and sighs, and whimpers into each other’s mouth. Both of his hands stroking my hair gently, until they found ways to the small of my back, spreading as they go.
We parted from the long and deep intertwining kiss, my eyes half-closed at the high of it. I didn’t remember kissing him this way. Since I was mostly drunk the whole time we were together 10 years ago. When I opened my eyes fully, his hazel irises gazed soft into mine, a dimpled grin curling up heavenly on his beautiful face. Oh my.
“How’s that boner problem going?”
Matt raised his eyebrows and looked down to his lap. I followed his gaze too. Yep, it’s still there. And it’s growing even more.
Well, this is just GREAT. We stared at each other long, in an awkward position - much more awkward than Wesley’s jokes – which is me sitting down on the floor with aching feet and him, standing stock still with a bulging…growing…groin.
I can’t help but arched my eyes to that direction and he quickly searched for a spot to hide behind one of the vaults in the room. Man, is this room getting hot or is it just me?
“Um..” he started.
“So..” I began.
God, this reminded me so much of our awkward morning after we found out that we just slept together. It felt like those 10 years came crashing down upon us right now. I don’t know why but I get the feeling that there are some sort of higher powers up there smirking and grinning as they decide our fate. Choosing to put us both in here so that we could never run from each other again. Are we your puppets or what?
“What are you thinking about?”
I snapped and realized that I was glaring at the ceiling. My mind combusting with curse words for whoever it is Up There but then quickly meeting his hazel eyes from behind the vault. Only his head was visible as he was peeking to get a better look at me. I can’t help but chuckle.
“Matt, what are you doing back there?”
“I just need to be here, okay.”
“Oh my God. Are you jerking off back there?!”
“NO I WASN’T! I mean, NO I’M NOT!”
I laughed uncontrollably, that I had to bury my face on the wall and smacked on it hard with my palms.
“What’s so funny?!”
“You Matt! You are! Wow, I never thought that the famous and fierce leader of Avenged Sevenfold would be trapped here, with me, and…”
“Shut up! I’m not jerking off! Look!”
He came out of his hiding and I can see that his problem was still growing. I immediately stopped laughing and felt my cheeks flushed.
“It’s partly your fault.” He stated glumly.
“Wha – why is it my fault?”
“You rubbed your foot on me and your whimpers didn’t help either.”
I bit my lip and felt two things at once. Guilty and flattered. I was flattered that I could turn him on like that, exactly like he would easily turns me on but then I felt guilty too, knowing that I shouldn’t. Especially when we’re both trapped like this.
“Okay, I’m sorry. It was an accident. Let’s just…talk about things that could turn you off.”
“Fine. When did you get married with Joe?” he said, leaning his back against the black box and crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’m not. What gave you the idea that I’m married to him?”
He widened his eyes and dropped open his mouth. “But…I saw you and him together..and the kid. She isn’t your daughter?”
“Well, that doesn’t mean that I’m married to him.”
“Oh. But she is your daughter? Who’s the father?”
“RJ.”
“WHAT?!”
I laughed because the look on his face was just priceless.
“Relax, Matt. I am not that desperate. She’s RJ’s daughter. My niece. But to me she’s like my own.”
He looked relieved. Dimples were showing on his cheeks again as he approached me nearer.
“What about you? Mr Hot Shot?”
“Huh, what about me?”
“You got married to that bitch.”
“Hey,”
“Well to me she’s a bitch. And so are you.” My insides flared with anger and jealousy when I crossed a thought about his wife. Or ex-wife. He did mention the’ ex’ word earlier, correct?
“Are you still angry? At me?”
“I’m over it Matt. But I just don’t get it why would you cheat on her when you know you’re going to marry her in the end? It makes you an asshole. Big time.”
He took a deep breath and finally landed himself beside me, but quite far apart.
“I don’t get it either. I just know that it was a right thing to do, sleeping with you. And she had been with us from the very start. Well, if you watched our All-Excess video-”
“I haven’t watched it.” I lied. I watched it like fifty fucking times.
“– um, well. If you watched it, then you’ll know our history. She’s the one who helped us through. I owe everything to her.”
“Including yourself?”
“It’s the only price that I can afford.”
I frowned at him. So the marriage was not built based on love? How the hell did he manage to stay with her? And how blind can that woman be? Surely Matt isn’t the only guy in her life?
“I gave myself to her but I didn’t regret one bit. It got me to who I am now.”
I raised my eyebrows and huffed. “Well, enjoy it while it lasts.”
“We’re divorced.” There. He confirmed it. I coughed awkwardly, finding a spot where I can look to run from his demeaning eyes.
“And the kid that I bumped into..”
“Is my son. River James Sanders.”
My heartstring ached when I heard that middle name. I shut my eyes tight and inhaled deeply.
“I miss Jimmy.”
“So do we. Every fucking minute.”
“How are you guys coping?”
He smiled sincerely at me, his eyes glistening with almost tears and it melted my heart right away. I scooted nearer, but still we were sitting far apart.
“We have our fans to thank for. If it wasn’t for them, Avenged Sevenfold would probably be gone by now.”
I smiled bitterly. Every part of me regretted that I wasn’t with him when the whole thing happened. I was mad at myself for throwing a 10 years bitch fit over something so stupid.
“Why are you running away from me, Lzzy?”
I craned my neck, alerted at the question. Why does everyone seems to wanna know that?
“I didn’t.”
“Hah, liar liar. Plants for higher.” He sang a familiar tune. I bulged my eyes and grinned widely.
Hey, I know that line!
“It’s pants on fire, Patrick.”
He grinned too, his dimples dented on his scruffy cheeks. “Well, you would know. Liar.”
We burst out laughing to an extension that I realized, we weren’t sitting that much far anymore. His body was inches away from mine, if we put our hands on the floor together, they would collide.
“Spongebob rerun?”
“Yeah, the only interesting thing on TV last night.”
I blushed and looked down on the floor, remembering that watching Spongebob wasn’t the only thing that I did last night. I was with Joe and tried hard not to think about this guy when we were having sex.
“I ran away from you because I’m afraid that I might fall for you Matt.” I said quietly after we settled our laughter. I hope he didn’t hear me. But he heard every word. Damn, his ears sure are sharp.
“And..you can’t. Cause you have Joe.”
“We..broke up.” I said to the ground. Quite long actually, the staring contest between me and the cold floor, until when I glanced up, he was staring at me. His eyes lit and his lips curved up into a shaky smile, like he was holding back the temptation to grin.
“I’m…so sorry to hear that. Are you okay?”
I narrowed my eyes to him. “Sorry my ass! You’re clearly enjoying this.”
“I’m not!” he grinned. “That’s a bad, bad news.”
“Fuck off Matt. I just broke up, okay. I’m supposed to be sad and now why the fuck am I smiling?!”
He giggled and scooted in just a little closer until our shoulders touched. I suppressed a giggle too since seeing M.Shadows giggling like a school girl was a really amusing sight to me.
“I think you’ve cried enough.”
My giggling gradually halted when I saw his face came nearer until our foreheads almost pressed on each other’s. He put a finger under my chin and tilted my head up, staring into my eyes along the way before his plump lips touched mine. Softly, and letting go. His hand reached up to my cheek, caressing below my ear with his calloused fingers.
That moment, I’ve decided that I’m done fighting.
I snaked my palms around his neck and pulled him closer into a kiss. He immediately opened his mouth and our tongue met in a synching rhythm. I felt my whole body shivered, and I’ve never felt anything like it before. Not even with Joe.
I couldn’t hear anything besides our groans, and sighs, and whimpers into each other’s mouth. Both of his hands stroking my hair gently, until they found ways to the small of my back, spreading as they go.
We parted from the long and deep intertwining kiss, my eyes half-closed at the high of it. I didn’t remember kissing him this way. Since I was mostly drunk the whole time we were together 10 years ago. When I opened my eyes fully, his hazel irises gazed soft into mine, a dimpled grin curling up heavenly on his beautiful face. Oh my.
“How’s that boner problem going?”
Matt raised his eyebrows and looked down to his lap. I followed his gaze too. Yep, it’s still there. And it’s growing even more.
Notes
WELL i hope i make it up to you guys XD
Patrick is my favorite character in Spongebob. he's so silly i want to punch him in the nose..hahhaa
COMMENTS!!
@RyeBellamy
You're very welcome
7/29/18