Perfectly Reckless
Chapter 18
Revolver Golden God Awards, 2013
I returned to my seat feeling really shocked, and to be honest, awful. I feel awful for thinking bad about them. Why didn’t I ask them about that sooner? So I didn’t have to keep this grudge for so long that I couldn’t be friends with Jimmy properly…oh God I regretted everything.. Why do I feel like this grudge is fucking stupid now? After everything that Matt explained, my wall of defense fell apart one layer after another. They were innocent!
“There she is! Lzzy! Congrats!” Josh got up from the seat and hugged me firsthand.
“Sis! I knew you would nail this! You’re the best, Lzzy!” RJ hugged me after.
And when I walked towards Joe, he looked at me sternly. I can’t decipher his gaze, was he angry at me? Or concerned?
“Congrats, Lzzy. You deserved it.” he murmured in my ear as we hugged each other tightly. “How was it, being so near to him?” he asked once we parted from the hug and I took a seat next to him.
Oh God. I knew this was coming. I shrugged and ran my eyes away from him. “I don’t know what you mean, Joe.”
I ignored his glare and just watched as the ceremony moved on.
~*.*~
Five Finger Death Punch was on stage, presenting the award for Best Drummer that my brother was nominated in. I was sitting in the upstairs balcony and as I scanned around I saw Brian and Matt on the other side of the balcony looking bored as hell. Brian was playing with his phone while Matt blew the strands of his long hair with his chin rested on his palm.
I smiled at the view, without knowing. He looked so fucking adorable. I actually missed that dimpled smile, looking down on me, or on every angle possible.
God Lzzy! What’s with these thoughts suddenly? He explained the scream thing to you and now you’ve gone soft? Shit.
I actually lied when I say that I didn’t remember anything at all from that amazing night. And fuck, why did he think that I’m already married? Did he assume that Joanna was my daughter?
My bubble of thoughts snapped when I realized that he was looking at my way too. Our eyes locked and I quickly ran mine away. They were announcing the nominees for Best Drummer and when my brother’s name came up, we screamed like hell.
“Arejay Hale from Halestorm.”
“WOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!” we stood up and screamed, like a bunch of fangirls and RJ blushed in his seat.
“And the winner is….Arejay Hale.”
“Oh my God!! RJ!! You won!!”
We hugged in a group and RJ almost broke in tears. He went down and ran to the stage, receiving the award. I turned my head towards Matt naturally and I saw those dimples again, flashing together with his broad grin. Without thinking, I smiled at him back.
~*.*~
Atlantic Records, a month later, 2013
“Oh, baby I wish I could bring you with me but we’re travelling far. You can’t bail out on your job.”
“Yeah cause we needed money.”
“Heh, I never said that. Money won’t be a problem, baby. It’s just that you like doing what you do. I don’t ever want to take that from you.”
“Aww, you’re the sweetest baby. Now kiss me.”
Oh God, these two lovebirds! Hello, I’m standing right here? Holding YOUR daughter in my arms! I sighed and rolled my eyes, realizing that between them I was just the babysitter so I walked away from them towards Joe with Joanna still in my hands.
We were standing beside our ignited tour bus, luggage already being loaded into the compartment under it as we said goodbye to each our family members and loved ones. Not that Jessie hadn’t gotten used to RJ leaving her, hell she was on the road with us most of the time but now that Joanna needed to start her kindergarten, she can’t follow us anymore.
Which was sucky because she was the only female companion I had during tour. I felt a hand resting on the small of my back and I glanced to my left. Joe smiled down at me and went near to kiss my lips. I don’t know why, but I flinched and let his lips brushed on the corner of my mouth instead.
He smiled bitterly and continued to take Joanna from my hands. I went over to Josh who was talking to our manager, Lydia who also happened to be his wife.
“Not coming with us this time. Lydia?”
Josh and Lydia turned their heads to me and she gave me a small smile. She wasn’t always touring with us because she had a lot to do back in her office so usually she would just making sure that we were set and prepared to leave.
“Yeah, sorry Lzzy. Looks like you’re the only girl again.”
“Oh nevermind. Sometimes I play dress ups with Josh here. Ain’t that right, buddy?” I nudged him on his arms and he sneered at me. Lydia chuckled softly and soon Josh wrapped his arm around her. I don’t know why but I felt jealous. I want someone to share things like that with me too. Wait, didn’t I already have Joe?
“I promise you a pair of shoes when you come back.”
“Yay! You’re the best Lyd! So, we’re heading to Colombus first or what?”
Lydia scanned the paper in her hands. “Yeah, Columbus first for Rock on The Range. You guys will be performing on day two. Wesley will meet you there and explain the whole thing. Your booth, your interviews, your hotel bookings, everything.”
“Awesome! How crazy is the line up this year?”
“Freaking crazy, Lzzy.” Josh answered me. “Here, see for yourself.” He took the paper from his wife’s hand and shoved it to me. I grabbed it and read on.
ROCK ON THE RANGE, MAY15th 2013 - COLUMBUS, OHIO.
Monster Energy Stage Lineup:
Smashing Pumpkins
Stone Sour
Avenged Sevenfold
Three Days Grace
Papa Roach
Bullet For My Valentine
Halestorm
All That Remains
WHAT?! My eyes widened when I saw ‘Avenged Sevenfold’ name was there. We’re gonna be headlining with them?
“Um, Avenged Sevenfold, Lydia?”
“Yep. Why? You have a problem with them or what? They’re already a big name so basically their setlist is gonna be longer than yours.”
“Damn it.”
Josh patted me in the back and reassured me that we won’t have any problem performing in the same festival as them. We won’t, right?
Oh God, this is Warped all over again.
I returned to my seat feeling really shocked, and to be honest, awful. I feel awful for thinking bad about them. Why didn’t I ask them about that sooner? So I didn’t have to keep this grudge for so long that I couldn’t be friends with Jimmy properly…oh God I regretted everything.. Why do I feel like this grudge is fucking stupid now? After everything that Matt explained, my wall of defense fell apart one layer after another. They were innocent!
“There she is! Lzzy! Congrats!” Josh got up from the seat and hugged me firsthand.
“Sis! I knew you would nail this! You’re the best, Lzzy!” RJ hugged me after.
And when I walked towards Joe, he looked at me sternly. I can’t decipher his gaze, was he angry at me? Or concerned?
“Congrats, Lzzy. You deserved it.” he murmured in my ear as we hugged each other tightly. “How was it, being so near to him?” he asked once we parted from the hug and I took a seat next to him.
Oh God. I knew this was coming. I shrugged and ran my eyes away from him. “I don’t know what you mean, Joe.”
I ignored his glare and just watched as the ceremony moved on.
~*.*~
Five Finger Death Punch was on stage, presenting the award for Best Drummer that my brother was nominated in. I was sitting in the upstairs balcony and as I scanned around I saw Brian and Matt on the other side of the balcony looking bored as hell. Brian was playing with his phone while Matt blew the strands of his long hair with his chin rested on his palm.
I smiled at the view, without knowing. He looked so fucking adorable. I actually missed that dimpled smile, looking down on me, or on every angle possible.
God Lzzy! What’s with these thoughts suddenly? He explained the scream thing to you and now you’ve gone soft? Shit.
I actually lied when I say that I didn’t remember anything at all from that amazing night. And fuck, why did he think that I’m already married? Did he assume that Joanna was my daughter?
My bubble of thoughts snapped when I realized that he was looking at my way too. Our eyes locked and I quickly ran mine away. They were announcing the nominees for Best Drummer and when my brother’s name came up, we screamed like hell.
“Arejay Hale from Halestorm.”
“WOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!” we stood up and screamed, like a bunch of fangirls and RJ blushed in his seat.
“And the winner is….Arejay Hale.”
“Oh my God!! RJ!! You won!!”
We hugged in a group and RJ almost broke in tears. He went down and ran to the stage, receiving the award. I turned my head towards Matt naturally and I saw those dimples again, flashing together with his broad grin. Without thinking, I smiled at him back.
~*.*~
Atlantic Records, a month later, 2013
“Oh, baby I wish I could bring you with me but we’re travelling far. You can’t bail out on your job.”
“Yeah cause we needed money.”
“Heh, I never said that. Money won’t be a problem, baby. It’s just that you like doing what you do. I don’t ever want to take that from you.”
“Aww, you’re the sweetest baby. Now kiss me.”
Oh God, these two lovebirds! Hello, I’m standing right here? Holding YOUR daughter in my arms! I sighed and rolled my eyes, realizing that between them I was just the babysitter so I walked away from them towards Joe with Joanna still in my hands.
We were standing beside our ignited tour bus, luggage already being loaded into the compartment under it as we said goodbye to each our family members and loved ones. Not that Jessie hadn’t gotten used to RJ leaving her, hell she was on the road with us most of the time but now that Joanna needed to start her kindergarten, she can’t follow us anymore.
Which was sucky because she was the only female companion I had during tour. I felt a hand resting on the small of my back and I glanced to my left. Joe smiled down at me and went near to kiss my lips. I don’t know why, but I flinched and let his lips brushed on the corner of my mouth instead.
He smiled bitterly and continued to take Joanna from my hands. I went over to Josh who was talking to our manager, Lydia who also happened to be his wife.
“Not coming with us this time. Lydia?”
Josh and Lydia turned their heads to me and she gave me a small smile. She wasn’t always touring with us because she had a lot to do back in her office so usually she would just making sure that we were set and prepared to leave.
“Yeah, sorry Lzzy. Looks like you’re the only girl again.”
“Oh nevermind. Sometimes I play dress ups with Josh here. Ain’t that right, buddy?” I nudged him on his arms and he sneered at me. Lydia chuckled softly and soon Josh wrapped his arm around her. I don’t know why but I felt jealous. I want someone to share things like that with me too. Wait, didn’t I already have Joe?
“I promise you a pair of shoes when you come back.”
“Yay! You’re the best Lyd! So, we’re heading to Colombus first or what?”
Lydia scanned the paper in her hands. “Yeah, Columbus first for Rock on The Range. You guys will be performing on day two. Wesley will meet you there and explain the whole thing. Your booth, your interviews, your hotel bookings, everything.”
“Awesome! How crazy is the line up this year?”
“Freaking crazy, Lzzy.” Josh answered me. “Here, see for yourself.” He took the paper from his wife’s hand and shoved it to me. I grabbed it and read on.
ROCK ON THE RANGE, MAY15th 2013 - COLUMBUS, OHIO.
Monster Energy Stage Lineup:
Smashing Pumpkins
Stone Sour
Avenged Sevenfold
Three Days Grace
Papa Roach
Bullet For My Valentine
Halestorm
All That Remains
WHAT?! My eyes widened when I saw ‘Avenged Sevenfold’ name was there. We’re gonna be headlining with them?
“Um, Avenged Sevenfold, Lydia?”
“Yep. Why? You have a problem with them or what? They’re already a big name so basically their setlist is gonna be longer than yours.”
“Damn it.”
Josh patted me in the back and reassured me that we won’t have any problem performing in the same festival as them. We won’t, right?
Oh God, this is Warped all over again.
Notes
A/N: sorry for the lateness...i'm drained of ideas...will update again on monday..we'll see..haha XD
meanwhile, thanks for reading and commenting my lovely girls~ XD
A/N2: and OMG, REVOLVER should really rename their Best Drummer award to "Jimmy Sullivan Award for Best Drummer". if you guys are with me, please trend this on any social network site you have be it twitter, ig or fb. just #JimmySullivanAward and make sure @revolvermag notice it! make them realize that Jimmy deserve this award title XD
@RyeBellamy
You're very welcome
7/29/18