*** EDITING *** The Only Half I Need - {Synyster Gates - Book 3}

Everyone was so excited to see the new member of the family. After giving Michelle a couple of days to relax and adjust to the new situation the core of the Avenged family decided to pay her a visit. Especially her twin sister Val was excited and was bouncing up and down on her seat while Matt was driving her and his son to the hospital.
“You do realize that this makes you fffff-freaking adorable, right?” He chuckled at his wife and himself for almost letting the bad word slip.
“I don’t care! Hurry up! I wanna see him!” Val was squealing like a little child, her smile radiating off her face. Matt chuckled again and couldn’t help but admire his wife’s beauty. She was his best friend, his soul mate and the mother of his child. But most of all she was the love of his life and he felt like the luckiest guy in the world for having her by his side through good and the bad times.
“Mommy is a little loco today, hm buddy?” He looked at his precious son through the rearview mirror and saw him fiddling with some toy.
“Wots loco, dada?” He asked with big eyes.
“It means …” Matt pulled a funny cross-eyed face, making his son giggle.
“Yeah, of course. My boys are siding against me … again.” Val chuckled and turned around in the passenger seat to check on River, lightly touching his leg. He had grown so much in such a short amount of time. And now he was going to see his cousin for the first time. They were going to grow up together, seeing their daddies’ shows together, going to the same school and what not. It was exciting but yet pretty scary for her. The time was flying by way too fast for her liking. She turned back around and enjoyed her son’s giggles over the softly playing rock music.
“What do you think will he look like?” She asked her husband gently as they waited in line at a traffic light.
“Hopefully not like Gates.” He chuckled and Val did too.
“Oh come on, as long as he hasn’t got his weird personality everything should be fine.”
“Jesus, just imagine: Another Brian Haner walking this earth.” Matt groaned playfully as he revved up the car.
“Oh my god, I pray that they haven’t named their son Brian. That would be too ffff-freaking weird.” Val said and she and her husband exchanged looks before both looked at their son, grinning. He was almost two now and they both still struggled with their language.
“Honestly, I’m just waiting for a prank like that.” He said pulled onto the parking lot of Huntington Beach’s hospital.
“We will see. Come on!” Val said and didn’t wait any longer. Matt hadn’t even parked the car as his wife unbuckled herself and jumped out of the still moving vehicle; granted it wasn’t really fast but still. Matt was almost having a heart attack.
“Jesus Christ, woman!” He called out but the only thing his son and he could see of Val was a cloud of dust while she ran to the entrance.
“Mommy?” River looked a little upset after his mom.
“Aw, baby, we have her back in a few. Come on. You excited to see uncle Brian and auntie Chelle?” His father asked, trying to distract him and it kind of worked. River giggled and clapped his hands, just like he did when uncle Brian was playing one of his guitar solos. Chuckling Matt got out of the car and picked up his son and his wife’s bag with the gifts for their friends and their newborn son.
While the Sanders were the first to arrive and to make their way up to the room, Michelle was feeding her little baby boy. With a loving smile he looked down at Jamie as he drank her milk, his tiny right hand wrapped around her finger. The feelings that rushed through her were leaving her feeling dizzy. She couldn’t even find the words to express them but in the end it didn’t matter. The most important thing was that Jamie was happy and safe. Michelle would do literally anything to provide all that.
Brian was standing at the window, looking down to the backyard. He wanted to give his ex-wife some privacy. Not because he was embarrassed, no. But he was in a relationship with a woman he loved with everything he had. He had hurt her countless times and even though she wasn’t here to witness all that he was staying true to her this time, completely and without exceptions.
It’s been three days now that Brian had called Katie’s phone but she hadn’t gotten back to him yet. That stung pretty badly. He missed her a lot, even more now than he did the last time, when she went back to her friends and family in Germany. Brian didn’t want to annoy her or pressurize her. He knew that this would just drive her away from him even more. But his house felt empty without her, the food tasted like nothing and the songs he was playing were barely filled with any other emotion than longing. Yes, baby Jamie was lifting up his heart a lot. The little guy made him feel like he did something right; that’s why he spent so much time at the hospital. But this void deep down could only be filled with the love of his angel. His light. His little piece of heaven.
“Brian? Can you take him for a while?” Michelle’s soft voice reached his ears and he turned around.
“Of course.” Smiling he came over to her bed and she gently put their son into his arms. Jamie immediately cuddled to his chest, his tiny hand looking for his finger to hold onto. He always did that, but only with his parents.
“Hey buddy.” Brian whispered and kissed his son’s fingers as they were wrapped around his long index finger. Michelle smiled at the sight of that while she slowly got up from her bed. She still felt sore and a little wobbly to her knees but she had to get used to walking at some point.
“Do you need help?” Her ex-husband offered but she shook her head with its long blond wavy locks.
“Thanks, but I’m alright.” She smiled and went to do her business in the en-suite bathroom. Brian walked back to the window and adjusted Jamie in his arms. The baby had opened his left eye the day before and Brian couldn’t help but feel the excitement to show his son the world. So he stood at the window with Jamie cuddled to his chest and muscly arm and showed him the sky, the birds and houses as he softly told him about the world outside.
Right in that moment Valary carefully entered the room. Her knock had been so soft that Brian didn’t hear it. That’s why she was able to witness this adorable scene. Her hand covered her mouth to hold in a gasp, small happy tears stung in her eyes. With her heart pounding she took a picture of this moment with her phone. If Katie could just see that.
Yes, her twin sister was the mother of Brian’s first born and Val thought that they would be together forever after their beautiful wedding but she had accepted that in the end her sister and her best friend didn’t work out. Seeing how Katie had changed Brian, how much and deeply they loved one another, she just wanted them back together. They had been through so much shit. It was time for the both of them to get back together and live happily ever after. That’s why Val sent this picture to her friend’s phone, telling her that she was dearly missed and should come back soon.
Michelle came out of the bathroom and spotted her sister. A bright smile spread across her face and with open arms she slowly walked over to her.
“Val! Oh my god, it’s so good to see you!” She hugged her tightly.
“Aw, honey, you look amazing.” Val kissed her cheek and hugged her sister again. It has been a while since they had seen one another and she had missed her. Brian heard their voices and turned around.
“Look, that’s auntie Val.” He whispered to Jamie and came over to the girls.
“Is that him?” Val whispered, her hands placed over her racing heart. Her sister nodded with a bright smile.
“Val, please meet Jamie Owen.” Brian said softly, making her gasp as he handed her the blue bundle.
“You … you really …”
“Yes. Chelle had the idea.” He smiled at Val’s twin and kissed her temple.
Val looked down to her nephew, her eyes filled with tears. The memory of the lost friend and brother was so vivid right then that her heart was almost breaking again. With a soft smile she lifted Jamie a bit and kissed his forehead.
“Welcome back …” She whispered, kissing him again.
Brian knew exactly what his best friend’s wife was going through. He had a feeling that Jimmy was right there in his baby boy, just like he was in River who was already playing air drums like a pro. It seemed like their lost brother was coming back to them through their children which was disturbing but also very exciting and overwhelming.
“Uncle Brian!” The scurrying of small feet made them all turn around. River came into the room, carrying a gift box with a green bow on it in his hands. Matt following him closely, holding the flowers for Michelle.
“Hey, you tiny giant.” Brian grinned and picked up his nephew. “It is very nice of you to visit us.” He smiled and kissed his temple.
“I kno. Here. For you.” River held out his hand with the box. Michelle came and took it from him.
“Why thank you, young man. It’s so pretty. Did you wrap it?” Everyone chuckled when he nodded fiercely and with a bright smile on his face.
Matt came around and hugged his sister-in-law and then patted his best friend’s shoulder.
“So that’s the new family member.” He said as he stepped to his wife who was still holding baby Haner in her arms. “Wow, Gates, I’m impressed.” They all laughed at that.
“His name is just perfect.” Val said as they walked back to the bed so Michelle could rest. She crawled under the covers and sat up comfortably before her twin handed her back Jamie.
“Please don’t tell me it’s Brian.” Matt looked at his lead guitarist with pleading eyes. Val chuckled at the two men and brought a vase with water for the flowers.
“Why? It’s a great name. The best in the world.” Brian smirked.
“Dude, don’t do this to me.” Matt chuckled and helped his son onto the bed. River was playing the bow of the gift box, more than eager to see what was inside.
But just before Brian could say anything the door was opened again and the rest of the band and their girls came in. Happy to see one another again they all hugged and Michelle was showered with kisses and flowers.
“Now for real, what’s his name?” Zacky asked, sitting next to Lindsay and bouncing River on his leg.
“Oh you guys really wanna know, right?”
“Brian, come on, don’t tease them like that.” Michelle chuckled. He grinned and stepped to her, kissing the top of his son’s head.
“Ok, ok. Well, I don’t want to adorn myself with borrowed plums. It was Michelle’s suggestion and I hope you all agree with me that it is perfect for my first born.” He took a deep breath, sending a small prayer to his brother in heaven. “Our son carries the name Jamie Owen Haner.”
The girls gasped before the room went quiet. Everyone was looking at him and then to the small bundle in Michelle’s arms. Especially Matt had an unreadable expression on his face. Everyone who grew up with him remembered Jimmy and was really moved by that choice. Brian could feel how his friends swallowed hard and tried to hold back tears.
He himself had a hard time right now. He saw his friends holding onto their girls and it made his heart break even more. He wanted his girl back, he wanted Katie back in his arms, where she belonged. Once again he was blaming himself for ruining it all. If it was only him he would board the next plane to Europe to follow her. But his son needed him. Brian had chosen to put his needs behind his son’s and now he had to live with this decision.
When Matt’s strong arms were wrapped around him he couldn’t help but hug him back. Soon all of his brothers joined into the bear hug. It helped them all as a family and eventually Johnny was the one to brighten the mood.
“God, Brian you always have to make us cry.” He punched his friend’s arm, making all laugh a bit.
“Sorry.” Brian shot them a crooked smile and rubbed the back of his neck.
They all had a great time. The girls were focusing on the kids while the guys talked about music again. Brian was still a little out of it so Matt decided to take him aside.
“Hey, your boy is adorable.” He smiled and patted his shoulder.
“I know right? He is a real sunshine.” Brian sighed and looked back out of the window.
“Then why is that glow fading from your face?”
“I don’t have a glow.” He rolled his eyes.
“Exactly. You had one when we came here. You were so happy.” Matt said and leaned against the wall. “It is because of Katie, hm?” Brian sighed again and nodded.
“Yeah. It’s just … I wish she was here. I wish I could hold her hand, hug her and … and have that baby with her. I mean, I love Jamie. He is wonderful but …”
“But he reminds you of the baby Katie had lost.” Matt finished his sentence. “Man, I can’t imagine how it must feel like but I know that she will come back to you. We all know that. Let her know that she is the number one girl for you and when she is back from tour you guys will talk and work things through. Don’t worry. Your son needs you and being grumpy dad won’t bring her back.”
Brian looked up at his friend and couldn’t hold back the chuckle.
“Man, since River you have been growing up a lot.”
“Yeah what can I say?” They turned around to look at their sons. “Kids bring out the best in you.”
“That’s true.” Brian smiled, hoping that he would have his girl back sooner than later.

Notes

Here we go :)