Katie’s POV

“… and then this fucking low life shot you. Without any reason! You just wanted to protect the kid, why you ever did that I will never know but anyways … I had thought that I had lost you. Hell, I even did! You had surgery but in the middle of it your heart started giving up. That’s why they put you into this fucking coma, taking your memory away from you.”
Jeremy clenched his free fist in anger. He had been very emotional the whole time which intimidated me a bit. He seemed to have very strong feelings for me and the longer he held my hand and the more I realized that he cared for me so much the worst I started to feel, because I couldn’t remember anything of what he had just told me. Nothing rang a bell. It only gave me a headache.
“Wow. This is …” I started softly but he cut me off.
“Horrifying?”
“Well yeah, that too, but I was going for ‘a lot’.” I said and looked at his quizzical expression. “I mean, you just told me half of my life story. My brain is about to shut down because of information overload.”
“I understand my love, I really do.” Jeremy sighed, calming down a bit. “I wish I could turn back time and hold you back … I should have reacted differently when I saw the determination in your eyes.” He said and kissed the top of my hand, leaving a light tingling feeling on my skin. That feeling was familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on it where I had felt something like butterflies in my tummy before.
“You said we know one another really well.” I chuckled. “I’m as stubborn as a mule … you think you could have hold me back?” He sighed.
“I guess not.”
“See?” I squeezed his hand. A comforting gesture. “I don’t mind being in a hospital. Or throwing myself in front of that kid. If it’s true that I’m your tour manager and that because of me the first shows had to be cancelled, that is what makes me upset. It makes me feel guilty. That and the frustration that I can’t remember shit makes me so angry and depressed.”
“Guilty? Are you kidding me?” He frowned. “It’s not like you were begging him to kill you.”
“I know but I can’t help how I feel.” I looked down to our hands.
“Well, it’s stupid …” He scoffed.
“What?” My head jerked up. I was so taken aback by his hurtful words that I pulled my hand out of his grasp.
“My feelings aren’t stupid.” I simply said. Jeremy’s eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth to say something – whether it was explaining himself or throwing around with apologies – but I didn’t want to hear it. My headache was getting worse so I just wanted to be alone and finally relax.
“Just … I’d like to be alone right now. If you don’t mind.” As if I cared …
“Of course. But … just know that I didn’t mean it that way, I swear. Your feelings are very important to me.” Jeremy said sweetly.
“Thank you.” I said softly and leaned back into my pillows, not looking at him anymore. I felt how I started to close up, an emotional way to protect myself. At this moment it felt like the right thing to do. With a heavy sigh Jeremy stood from his chair next to my bed. He hesitated for a moment but then he leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss onto my forehead before he left the room.

The beeping noise of the heart monitor was the only sound filling my room for a long time. I was looking out of the window and into the clear blue sky. My head was still hurting from the huge amount of information Jeremy had given me about my life. But I had to admit that some pieces didn’t make any sense to me.
The only thing I could remember from my old life was that I was German. I came to California to get away from my abusive ex-boyfriend and my clingy friends at home. And I certainly remembered that I had found something very dear to me while I was here. I tried so hard to remember what it was but I couldn’t find the bits and pieces that were missing; it was bringing tears to my eyes.
There were probably people out there that meant the world to me and here I was not even remembering their faces. I felt so incredibly alone. They say you can’t miss something that you never had. But if your heart has felt it before and your mind failed to place pictures to those feelings this heartache was nearly killing you. I missed someone with every cell of my body but I couldn’t remember who it really was.
It wasn’t Jeremy. Somehow I was certain of it. However, he made me feel safe and besides, he was the only one here taking care of me. Maybe I should trust him and let him help me. The sooner I would get out of the hospital the more of a chance I had to regain my memory.



Brian’s POV

“Chelle! Your son pooped again!” I called for the mother of my son as I held him as far away from me as possible. Jamie’s face was a little red and he looked not much happier than I was.
“Then why don’t you change him this time? After all he is your son too.” Michelle’s head popped up over the kitchen counter. “I’m cleaning the mess your dog just made. Again.”
She sounded really annoyed and a bit stressed out. Granted, she didn’t get much sleep over the last two months.
“Alright, alright.” I rolled my eyes and stood with our baby boy in my arms. I came to the kitchen and watched her throwing the dirty kitchen towels into the trash. “Go and take a nap on the couch. I’ll take care of Jamie and dinner. Don’t worry about it.” I said softly.
Michelle looked at me for a moment with burning eyes but she relaxed visibly as she saw that I really meant it. She walked over to us and kissed first our son’s forehead and then my cheek. I could see the bags under her tired eyes and it made me sigh heavily.
“Thank you, Brian. I … I’m really tired. He was crying all night.” She said softly and rubbed her temples.
“I told you it was a bad idea for you to sleep in his room.” I chuckled softly and pulled her into a gentle hug. “I’ll take over the next night shifts. And you sleep in the bedroom.” That made her pull back in disbelief.
“Your … your bedroom? But …” She shook her head. “No, I can’t do that.” She was referring to Katie’s side of the bed. No one was to touch it besides I and Pinkly but Michelle needed rest. This was just as important now.
“Yes you can and you will. Since I turned the guest room into Jamie’s room I don’t have anywhere else for you to sleep. And no, I won’t let you occupy the couch. You will sleep on my side of the bed. End of discussion.” I winked at her and kissed her forehead. “Now go and take a nap.”
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” She smiled and squeezed my hand. I could see sheer relief in her beautiful brown eyes which made me smile in return. I knew she still expected me to leave her and Jamie behind but I would never do that. I was paying the price for my mistake but at the same time it was a real blessing.
When I saw that she had curled up on the couch I went upstairs to the nursery and started to change my son out of his dirty diapers.
“Oh for Christ’s sake …” I squeezed my eyes shut as the smell hit my nostrils. “You know, it’s not fair to fight with poisonous gas, little man.” I said, trying to inhale as little as possible. Jamie however thought this was very funny and shot me a dazzling smile. “Yeah yeah I know. You like that, huh?” I couldn’t help but chuckle as I cleaned him up and wrapped a fresh diaper around his baby butt. I put him into fresh pants as well and blew on his belly to hear him squeal in delight. His tiny hands grabbed my hair and pulled on it but I didn’t care. The joy about my son’s happiness was everything that mattered to me these days. Everything besides one thing – my other half.
It’s been two months now without any news of my Katie. Her voicemail had been full for the past three weeks and it didn’t seem like she was listening to any of the messages I had left for her. It confused me and scared me even more that something might have happened to her. I mean, no one could be angry for that long, right?
I picked up my son and tidied up the nursery with one hand and then carried him to Katie’s and I’s bedroom. Michelle didn’t want me to tell him of my girlfriend just now but I did it anyways. She was part of my life and therefore she was going to be part of my son’s life as well. I wanted him to know her.
I came inside and sat on my half of them huge king sized bed. I pulled her nightgown from under the blanket and wrapped it around Jamie. As I kissed the top of his head I could smell the faint scent of her skin and perfume and it made me so incredibly sad.
“God, baby where are you? What is keeping you from coming back home?” I whispered and gently rocked Jamie in my arms as I dwelled in bittersweet memories. The light touch of my son’s tiny hand on my cheek made me look down at him.
“You’re going to love her. She needs you, baby boy. You know, you would have had a stepsister – at least I wanted a girl with her. But daddy was stupid and now she is gone. Both of them.” I whispered, fighting the tears. “Katie needs your light, Jamie, just as much as I do. We all need you … my sweet baby.” I gently placed a lingering kiss onto his soft forehead.
I lay down onto the bed with my son next to me. Facing the side of my love I had a hand onto Jamie’s tummy. I had dreamed of lying like this in bed with my baby girl and her beautiful mother who was sleeping peacefully next to us. I could see it now and it my heart beat faster in my chest. She was so beautiful and adorable in her sleep.
I was determined to win her over again once she was back in Huntington Beach. I know I was an idiot but I was her idiot. Of course, with Jamie and Michelle in my life now permanently it would be twice as hard to get her back but I trusted in our love and her heart of gold.
Everything was going to be fine. At least, I hoped so.

Notes

Woop woop! :)