Hannah
Once I knew Erin was out of the house and I was completely alone, my thoughts started to run away with me, just like they used to before all of this started.

Worthless, desperate, sickening, disgusting and dangerous were just some of the words that came to mind. This was all my fault, this whole thing… Jimmy and the guys being in danger every day of their lives, Erin being trapped with Sebastian, it’s all my fault… because I was born. First, it was my mother’s fault when she did go through with her marriage to Sebastian in the first place, then, she just had to have me with my Dad and then once she’s out of the picture and I’m ‘of age’ BOOM, it’s my problem.

Maybe if I was never here, none of this would be happening. Jimmy would be safe, he would be focused on his career with the band, the band he is in with his best friends, but, because they’re now all involved with me somehow, they’re all in danger, they’re going to die sooner or later – probably sooner – and then they’ll never live up to what they could have, their families will mourn them and the world will never truly know who they are.

“I gotta get out of here,” I told myself, leaning over to my bedside table.

I opened the little drawer and reached right into the back until I felt the cool metal of the tin I kept all the way back there, and pulled it out. I slid off of my bed and onto the floor, holding the little green tin in my cold, almost numb, hands. I slowly opened the lid and looked at the contents inside. A packet of cigarettes, a lighter, a bundle of five or more small blades, and ten or more rope bracelets that I used to use to cover up at times like this. I rolled my sleeves up, and one arm at a time, I traced the white and pink scars that littered my skin, taking me back to how I used to be before. Each of them were horizontal, I’d always done it as a release, to make me feel better, but now, I wanted out this time.

I pulled a cigarette out of the packet and slipped it between my lips, lit it, and pulled out the first blade.

I wasn’t going to leave a note, I wasn’t going to say goodbye.

I took the blade between my thumb and index finger, held my arm out in front of me and dug the sharpest edge of the blade into my skin, as deep as I could and dragged it down my skin, tearing it open, bursting what needed to be burst. The blood poured out of my body, stained my skin, my jeans and my floor. Once my left forearm was cut with one long cut, I moved onto the right.

In the moments when my eyelids felt heavy, as I listened to my heart beating in my ears and watched the floor covering everything that I could still see, I felt at peace. Like, this was exactly what was supposed to happen, I felt peaceful… I felt happy.

“Hannah,” Someone said softly from beside me as I felt a hand press against my cheek.

I rolled my head to the side to see who was there, and faintly, I could see my mother. Her hand pressed against my cheek, a small, sad smile tugging at her lips as she brought up her free hand and wiped away the tears that I hadn’t even noticed were running down my cheeks.

“Momma,” I smiled weakly.

“This isn’t how it ends baby,” She told me gently “Not this way, you don’t get to leave just yet,”

“Why?” I asked, frowning lightly as sleep pulled at my subconscious.

“Because there are people here who still need you,” She told me “Erin needs your strength to get through this herself, Jimmy needs to see you at school every day, in class and walking the halls, even if you aren’t his, and I know that even Matt, Brian and Zack need you around, too.”

“Nobody needs me here,”

“Yes they do,” She said a bit more firmly “Especially your father,” I let my eyes slip shut and dropped my head back against the side of my bed and brought my bloody hand up to wipe the hair out of my face, only covering myself in more blood “I’m going to stay here with you, keep you here for a little while longer, just until Erin finds you and makes everything all better,”

“Erin…”
~~~~
Jimmy
It took a little over an hour until we heard anything from Erin once she took off to Hannah’s and left us all in her wake at Tori’s place. I don’t know what it was that she mixed up but the smell in the room she cooked it up in was horrendous, we had to hang out, out back once she was gone, and I didn’t know what it was for or what exactly she was going to do with it, but it didn’t look good.

We were all talking about anything other than the Hell that was now our lives when Erin called Zack and he took the call inside. He was gone for a good twenty minutes, and when he came back he had a shocked look on his face, but he didn’t say anything, he just grabbed me by the arm and dragged me away from Tori and the guys, through the house and out the front to my truck.

“Zack!” I snapped when he climbed in the passenger side, waiting for me to get in the driver’s side “What the fuck is going on?” I asked “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what Erin told you on the phone,”

He slowly turned his head to look at me, he had a sympathetic look on his face which was a bit unsettling in itself, but he had to take a few deep breaths and swallow hard a couple of times before he could get the words out of his mouth.

“It’s Hannah,” He told me quietly “She…”

“What?” I asked cautiously as I climbed into the truck and closed the door behind me “Zack, what happened?”

“She…” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before speaking quickly “She tried to kill herself,” He kept his eyes closed while he spoke “I’m sorry man,”

“She didn’t…” I trailed off, my throat closing around the rest of my words so that they wouldn’t come out.

“No!” He answered my implied question quickly “She was barely holding on when Erin got to her, but she said that something was keeping her there, Erin got her all cleaned up and settled down, said they put on a movie and started eating some ice cream before
she crashed,”

“So, what are we doing?” I asked “Can we go over there?” He nodded.

“Apparently Hannah was mumbling your name in her sleep and reaching out as though she was trying to get to you, so she’s asked us to go over there,”

I didn’t need to hear any more before I started the truck and tore away from Tori’s house.

On the way to Hannah’s house Zack filled me in on everything. The shit Erin had made at Tori’s place, she gave it to Hannah to take away the effects of something Sebastian had done, but she didn’t say what, but apparently it wasn’t going to be very good for Erin, as in, whatever she took from Hannah could fire back onto her instead. The plan was for me to stay with Hannah while Zack helped
Erin with some more research on how to keep them somewhat safe or something.
Soon, I was pulling up outside Hannah’s house and the two of us rushed inside. Erin was sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen with a glass of, what looked like, Scotch in her hands.

“Erin?” Zack asked cautiously as we approached her.

“She’s upstairs,” She mumbled, a little drunk by the looks of it “She was restless, I couldn’t watch the magic work on her, I’m pretty sure she’s in pain,”

Zack wrapped his arms around Erin and pulled her close to him, and she let him. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time to get to the top faster.

I opened the door to Hannah’s room slowly at first but when I heard her groan loudly I burst the rest of the way in, just in time to see her zap from her bed into the bathroom. I threw the bottle onto the bed and rushed into the bathroom behind her. She was on her knees, hovering over the toilet while she threw up whatever was in her stomach. I rushed over to her and held her hair out of her face with one hand and dropped myself onto the floor beside her and started rubbing her back with my free hand, trying to help her bring up whatever she was bringing up and soothe her at the same time.

“Jimmy?” She asked when she stopped vomiting and rested her head on the toilet seat.

“I’m here,” I whispered, leaning in and pressing a kiss to her forehead “It’s alright baby, I’m here,”

“What are you doing here?” She asked as I moved away from her to wet her face cloth for her “You really don’t need to see all of this,”

“Erin needed to get away and do some research, so I’m staying here to keep you company,” I smiled at her as I pressed the cold cloth to her burning forehead.

“That’s just another way of saying that you’re here to babysit me,” She sighed.

“Can you blame us for thinking someone should be with you?” I asked her, narrowing my eyes at her a little.

“She told you what I did?” She asked, folding her arms across her chest, trying to cover the bandages Erin had wrapped around her arms from her wrists to her elbows.

“She told Zack and he told me before we came over here,”

“Well get comfortable so I can start rambling off my apology to you, too.” She sighed again, shifting from her knees to her ass.

“Don’t,” I spoke, stopping her before she could speak “Don’t you dare apologize to me, especially when you don’t mean it,” She closed her mouth and looked at the ground beneath us “You’re not sorry for trying to take the easy way out, for trying to leave us all here to deal with this without you-“

“This is all because of me, if I wasn’t here then this wouldn’t be happening and you would all be safe,” She said quickly, cutting me off.

“That is bullshit,” I told her “Without you, this whole thing would be harder for us all,” I sighed and ran my hands through my hair
“Erin needs you to go through with this with her, and still have her best friend and her cousin to talk to and be normal with whenever she has the chance. Matt, Brian and Johnny need you to keep them smiling and make school fun for them these days, and I-“ I choked “I need you, even though ever since I managed to get you to speak to me, ever since I fell in love with you my whole life has been a rollercoaster, you’re still my silver lining in all of this, because even though you’ll be married to another man, I’ll still be able to see you more than I would if you were dead, you’re my little glimmer of hope in this whole mess,”

She was crying. Sobbing, breathless crying, and she was shaking so badly that she couldn’t lift herself off of the ground. She was breaking down from all of this, I knew she was, and it was a mix of everything from the stress of being betrothed to Sebastian right down to the failed suicide attempt. I scooped her up into my arms bridal style and carried her back into her bedroom and gently placed her back on the bed.

“Can I?” I asked, holding my hands out for her hands, wanting to get a look at her arms. She smiled weakly and dropped her hands into mine and I turned them over. The white bandages were stained with blood that was seeping through the wrap from her wound.

I unwrapped them slowly and she winced in pain as I gently tugged the last part off.

“Shit,” I cursed under my breath when I saw the damage she had done to herself “Hannah, these need stitches, not just wrapped up,”

“You can’t take me to the hospital!” She panicked.
“I’m not going to,” I said softly, brushing the hair out of her face “I’ll fix you up right here myself for free,”

She smiled at me a little and picked up the bottle of water I’d brought for her .

“The big first aid kit is down in the kitchen,” She told me, and so I went off to get it.

By the time I got downstairs I realised that Erin and Zack were already gone and probably had been since just after we got here,
Erin seemed in a hurry to get out of here for some reason. I had to raid a few cabinets before I found the first aid kit since Hannah hadn’t been specific about its location, but I found it fast enough and hurried back upstairs. The longer her wounds were left unstitched, the more blood she was going to lose.

“I’m back,” I announced with a smile on my face as I entered her bedroom again.

“Good,” She smiled up at me.
~~~~
Hannah
Jimmy was still working on stitching up my left arm, it stung a little but I’ve felt worse so it didn’t really bother me. He was silent, and I knew it wasn’t because he was concentrating, he seemed to know what he was doing, he could probably have done it with his eyes closed, so I knew he was battling with himself.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked him softly, watching his very concentrated face.

“Nothing,” He answered immediately, glancing up at me and giving me a small smile.

“I don’t buy that and you know it,” I chuckled “I have my ways, remember?” He sighed softy but he didn’t say anything, so I tuned into his thoughts.

‘What the hell did Erin give her?’ he thought to himself ‘Why did she have to give her anything anyway? What did that son of a bitch do to her?”

“A while back,” I started “Sebastian used his demon breath to make me… confident, and to possess me whenever he felt like it, and at first I thought everything was fine, but then he really started to mess with me, he made me do things I never would have done without his breath, I mean, the only thing I did by myself was… you,” I stopped and exhaled quickly, nervously as a blush rose to my cheeks “But I was basically having rolling blackouts, convincing Erin to do things just by touching her and talking to her, she didn’t think twice about what I was saying, but it wasn’t me, and… I don’t remember things as I did them, but I’ve been told about what I did, and there was no way I was going to let it continue any longer,”

“So, what happened?” He asked as he cut the stitching on my arm and started wrapping it up before he could move on to my right arm.

“When I found Erin, and she told me where she had been and what had happened… I called for Sebastian and luckily he showed, and I threatened not to marry him unless he removed the breath, and he said that he would, but he had to inform me of the aftermath,” I paused and looked into Jimmy’s eyes to make sure he was following me.

“Which was what?”

“Well, since it was giving me the confidence that I needed when he wasn’t using it to control my body, he was taking away the
anxiety I’ve suffered with my whole life, the depression too, but Erin was there while he told me all of this so she knew what would happen to me, he took his breath out of me and left,” I frowned and looked down at my arm as he stitched again “Funny, I thought I would be feeling crippling levels of anxiety by now, but when I woke up and threw up, I haven’t felt anything, but the more I think about it the angrier I get, at everything; Sebastian, myself…”

“What did Erin do when she got here?” Jimmy asked.

“She gave me some thick stuff to drink, it smelled disgusting but it didn’t taste too bad,” I shrugged “Why?”

“She came over to Tori’s place earlier and cooked something up before rushing back over here,” He told me “She didn’t tell us what it was, but I’m guessing she gave it to you, because it smelled disgusting,”
~~~~
Once I was all patched up, Jimmy and I started calling Zack and Erin, but neither of them were answering our calls or our texts. So, I decided to call Tori.

“Hannah!” She answered the phone, sounding happy to be hearing from me “I’ve missed you, what’s up?” She asked.

“Hey Tori,” I smiled a little to myself, it was nice to hear someone so happy “I need some information from you,” I informed her
“Jimmy tells me that Erin cooked something up at your place,”

“Yeah?”

“Well, she had me drink it, and neither of us know what it was, and I can’t get her to answer her phone or text me back, so I was wondering if you knew what it was?”

“I don’t know exact what it was, not the name of it nor what it’s used for…” She trailed off “But I could tell you what ingredients she used if that’s any help?”

“I can work with that,” I sighed with relief “Tell me what she used and I’m sure I’ll find something in one of my books,”
~~~~
Third Person
Hannah and Jimmy were using Tori’s surprisingly helpful information, and they had been for at least two hours, maybe more. While Jimmy sat at Hannah’s desk and worked away on her computer, finding out whatever he could on the internet, Hannah sat in the middle of her bed and was surrounded by every spell book, witchcraft handbook, Wicca handbook and even her own Book of Shadows that had been in her family for generations. Hannah had received two paper cuts at least from all the page flicking and Jimmy had to switch hands repeatedly when he got finger cramp from all of the scrolling and typing, but they were getting nowhere.

“There are too many things she could have made using all those freaking ingredients!” Hannah groaned loudly, throwing herself back onto the bed.

“Tell me about it,” Jimmy grumbled from the desk “I swear, nobody on the internet has a freaking clue what they’re talking about,”
Hannah was watching him working away. He was slightly hunched over the keyboard as he typed something else into the search engine, his hair was dishevelled from running his hands through it and he even looked a little sleepy, she could tell just by looking at the back of him that he was tired from all of this hard work.

“Maybe we should take a break,” She suggested, biting her lower lip “Y’know, just lay here and talk, like we used to, maybe even a little differently than how we used to,”

He froze, he stopped typing and sat up straight before slowly turning around in the chair to face her.

“Are you flirting with me Ms Samuels?” He smirked at her.

“Maybe,” She smiled at him, her bottom lip still slightly between her teeth “And what if I am?”

“Well, maybe I’ll just have to take you up on your implied offer,”
~~~~
Almost an hour later, Hannah rolled off of Jimmy and onto the bed beside him. They were both loosely covered by the covers on her bed, sweaty and panting for breath with very satisfied smiles on their faces.

“You,” Jimmy panted “Are really good at that,”

“Third time’s a charm,” Hannah chuckled, sending a wink his way as she rolled her head over to look at him “I think that was the break we were looking for,”

“Agreed,” He laughed, propping himself up on his elbows “I have to say, we’ve done this twice now, both times you’ve been engaged to… him, and not once have you seemed the slightest bit worried about him finding out,”

Hannah shrugged and dropped her had back, looking up to the ceiling.

“I know he’ll find out sooner or later,” She started “But it doesn’t bother me, because he isn’t going to kill me, I’m his fiancé and I know just how badly he needs me to become his queen,”

“And what about me?” Jimmy asked “I hate to think what he would do to me when he finds out,”

“Nothing,” She sighed “I’ll threaten him some more if he threatens you and then, if he did kill you, I’d bring you back. If he dragged you down to Hell, I’d pull you back out and if he beat you to a pulp I would just heal you,” Jimmy leaned over her and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose “I’m a witch now and soon… soon I’m going to be a demon, a crossroads demon and the Queen of Hell, so, there isn’t really anything I can’t do,”

“Sweetheart,” Jimmy chuckled “I think the power is already getting to your head,”

“Don’t worry about it,” She smiled at him, lifting her head only the slightest but to press a kiss to his lips “I think I’m going to go to the store and pick up a few things,”

“Like what?” He asked her as he watched her get out of bed, completely naked.

“I need to pick up some dog food, snacks and… maybe a couple of other things,” She spoke slowly towards the end as she looked at herself in her full length mirror.

For some reason, Hannah didn’t feel right looking at herself like this anymore. Her long natural hair and her innocent features just didn’t feel right, not after everything she had been through. She died for crying out loud, this look, was her before all of this. When she looked at herself in the mirror she still saw that little awkward virgin that she used to be, when she was scared of everything that breathed and hid away from the world, but now… she had so much more going for her. No longer was she awkward, or a virgin, Sebastian and Jimmy had made sure of that, and she wasn’t scared of anyone or anything anymore. She embraced who she was now and who she would soon become, she couldn’t be scared of her own powers when soon she would have the whole of Hell to rule alongside her loving husband.

She needed a change.
~~~~
Hannah
Jimmy and I had dressed quickly and I walked him outside and down to his truck where we said goodbye and I promised that I would text him soon, and then he drove off. I climbed into my car and tore out of the driveway and down the street, blasting Metallica at full volume all the way to the store.

When I got there, I lazily parked the car and rushed into the store, picking up some of the things that I knew I needed, and with a basket filled with chocolate and chips, I headed to the beauty section. I didn’t need makeup, I already had plenty of that, and my nails were always kept cut and painted, so I didn’t need any nail products, but I was still in desperate need for some kind of change. As I walked down another aisle, I found myself standing in front of rows and rows of hair dye.

I grabbed two boxes of the colour of my liking, the new colour that my hair would be the next time anybody saw me and headed back down the front to the checkout.
~~~~
Once I got back home I quickly fed Sherman and put away the other things that I’d bought and rushed up to my bedroom. I’d left my phone laying on my computer desk while I was away to let it charge some, and when I checked it, I had two text messages, both of them were from Erin.

Hope you’re doing alright, sorry I took off earlier, call me later – E x

And her second one was twenty minutes later

Jimmy called Zack and told him he left your place and that you had gone out, you alright? Text me when you can – E x

I quickly typed a text back to her, just so that she wouldn’t worry.

Went out to the store, had to pick up a few things, I’m home and I’m safe, I’ll call you soon. Love you – H x

I emptied the rest of the contents of the carrier bag out onto the bed and grabbed the two boxes of dye and locked myself in my
bathroom and got to work.
~~~~
I dropped the scissors back into the sink with all of the hair that I’d chopped off. Most of it was dark brown and some little strands of blonde were in there too. I decided that not only did I want to change the colour of my hair, but I wanted to change the cut, too. I didn’t want to wait a couple of days and make an appointment, so I fished out my old scissors from my bathroom cabinet and did it myself. My hair was now just below my shoulders, a bit choppy but on purpose and I now had bangs and a bit of shape to my hair instead.

I admired my handy work from all angles in the mirror and decided that I was happy with my work.
It was late by the time I was finished, almost midnight, but I was wide awake and I was bored. So, I applied some makeup, dark red lipstick and dark eye makeup and changed my clothes since I was covered in my own hair. I was now wearing ripped skinny jeans and one of my many plain black muscle shirts. Once I was ready, I pocketed my phone, some money and zapped myself out of the house.

I found myself standing in the middle of the park, not far from the guys’ spot that I’d only been to a couple of times before with Erin… way before. I decided that since it was late, nobody would be there so I could probably hang out there by myself for an hour or so before going back home, it sure beat sitting around inside by myself anyway.

It wasn’t until I got closer to the spot that I could hear the familiar voices of Brian and Matt, and by the sounds of it, they were bitching and moaning, well, Matt was.

“Dude,” Brian sighed and I stopped in my tracks “It isn’t their fault that they fell for girls whose lives are a total mess right now, a lot of shit is going on, I know that, but they’ll fix it soon enough,”

“They’re never around for practice anymore though!” Matt exclaimed “How are we supposed to get as huge as Metallica if our
rhythm guitarist and our freaking drummer never turn up?” He asked “And Johnny!” He chuckled sarcastically “I know he turns up and he sometimes manages to get some work done, but c’mon, he’s always texting Tori, thinking about Tori, talking about Tori or on the phone to Tori!”

“Hey,” I spoke up as I entered the spot, cutting Brian off from whatever he was about to say.

“Hannah?” Brian asked after a couple of moments “Holy shit, is that you?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I chuckled, running my hands through my hair “I thought I could be doing with a change,” I shrugged.

“How-“ Matt cleared his throat “How long have you been here?” He asked.

“Long enough, Matt.” I sighed “I’m sorry about Jimmy and Brian, I know that they didn’t ask to get caught up in our ‘mess’, but they did, and I don’t want them stuck in this any more than you do, and I would love for things to just go back to normal for you guys, but I promise that it will once all of this is over,”

“How?” He asked, stepping close to me, dangerously close “How are things going to work out when we’ve missed to much precious time? I mean, we’re almost nineteen, we’ve gotta get shit done, fast, so unless someone plans on making a deal with a fucking demon, I don’t see how we’re ever going to get to where we want to be,”

Thin ice, Matthew. Thin. Ice.

Notes

Hey guys!

There isn't really much to say about this chapter, it kind of speaks for itself, too.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this.

Stay tuned for more from E! <3

~ LMV x