Ghouls

Days went passed since the barbeque at the Berrys’, just tottering around the house playing video games (I really needed to get a job; there was only so much you could do with two dogs and a games console) I was already up when Jade tottered down and put on the radio, blasting the latest from McFly’s; Star Girl. I leaped from the sofa, immediately falling in sync with the song; the both of us sang our lungs out, making the dogs bark. We laughed and danced along until Cam came along so as he tried to shout at us to shut up, we danced around him, singing into his face, making him grunt and go back upstairs; he never was a huge fan. We danced along to the song and laughed together for the remainders of the track, having the most fun I’d had the whole time I’d been in Cali.

“Okay, okay, okay, we’ve got to prep you up for this big date with Zack!” Jade told me, spinning me around, holding my hands. It was if we were 12 or something.

“It’s not a big date, J, it’s just a few drinks,” I told her, giggling.

We stopped, “nevertheless, it’s a date with Zackary Baker so we must prepare!” she said, smiling.

“Okay, okay, what do we have to do?” I asked, smiling at her; Jade was quickly becoming my new, better, best friend.

“First of all, we have to go shopping; I’ve seen your so called ‘wardrobe’ and a scabby old band T will not do for a date!”

“Hey! I take offence to you talking down about my shirts!...they’re my babies..” I told her, acting hurt.

“Oh, shut up; we’re getting something sexier than anything that you’ve bought! Now, get your pants on, shoes on and we can go,” she said, grabbing her keys and waiting for me.

I groaned, “eurgh, sexy is not my thing, Jade, I can’t pull it off for fuck sake...” I told her, finding some shorts and slipping my crummy old converse.

“What!? Of course you can pull off sexy! Have you looked in the mirror lately?” she called to me, giggling.

I wanted so desperately to tell her that I hadn’t properly looked in a mirror for years and that as and when I did, I was sick but all I could muster up was a shrug as I told her to move.

The road into town was quiet; I was still on edge about the whole ‘sexy’ thing. It really wasn’t my thing and I got so worked up about it; I hated when people did give me compliments like that, not because I discarded people’s opinions but because I simply didn’t believe it anymore; after the past few years I’d been made to feel so small and useable that ‘sexy’ just didn’t come into the equation.

Once we were in town, Jade had twigged that I wasn’t as cheery as I was before.

“Oi, grumpy pants, if I take you to Hot Topic will you cheer the fuck up, please? I’m not shopping with you if you’re going to sulk!” she said, taking my hand.

I instantly cheered up, “uh, duh!”

We both laughed and headed to, well, wherever Jade was taking me. We made a deal that we’d find something for tonight first, as we both agreed I didn’t want to do it, so we could get it out of the way.

After almost an hour and a half I was shaking. Praying the dreaded dress shopping would end. I was sweating heavily, terrified that people were watching me. Every now and again, my breath would stop as I saw someone looking at me. All I wanted to do was get home and stay there forever; fuck Hot Topic; fuck Zacky; I couldn’t face anyone.

“What about this?” Jade asked, it was the same question she’d asked over a hundred times already today, as she pulled out a genuinely nice, little purple number.

“It’s nice.”

“But would you wear it?”

“Doubt it,” the exact same conversation we’d had over and over and over the entire time we were there.

“Come on, Lauren, I’m bored, you’re bored, will you pleeeaase just put it on to see?” Jade asked, weary that I wasn’t in a very good mood.

I looked into her pleading, but understanding, eyes, “fine, but just this one; if this isn’t the one, I’m leaving,” I told her, grabbing the dress and walking into the changing room.

Jade was shocked, not expecting me to actually try it. She squealed, telling me to show her once I got it on.

I held back the puke that was rising to my throat as I undressed to pull on the fairly plain, black, grey and purple dress. I stood there for a moment, shaking and rubbing my hands as I sweat with nerves. Eventually, I looked up into the mirror and gasped;

“Are you okay, L?” Jade asked, worriedly.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” I told her, my mouth agape as I studied myself in the mirror. I never imagined I could look this good...nice even. For so long I’d doubted myself and thought I was some rotting bit of roadkill but right now I actually felt kind of good about myself. Tears formed in my eyes as I turned around to open the curtain for Jade to see. Her, along with a lot of the other women, gasped as I walked out.

“Oh. My. Fucking! GOD! Lauren!! You look fantastic! That is definitely the one!” Jade squealed, tears in her own eyes at the site of mine.

“Thank fuck for that!” I called turning around to get back undressed.

“Okay, okay, if you whip that dress over the top I can go pay while you get dressed then we can head to Hot Topic and grab some coffee as you were so good today,” Jade joked, taking the dress from me and walking off to pay.

After Hot Topic and coffee, laughing and joking as we went, Jade and I finally got home.

“Shit, look at the time! I gotta shower!” I called, checking my phone, initially for a text from Zack.

“Okay, okay, I’ll be up in a bit to do your make-up and hair,” Jade told me, winking. She quickly pecked my cheek as I ran upstairs with my bags.

I jumped into the shower, the best shower I’d had the whole time I was here, as I screamed to the words of Sugar, We’re Going Down by Fall out Boy. I washed and shaved, making sure I was presentable enough for tonight. I happily leaped out, washing my face and quickly blow-drying my hair, then putting my underwear on as well as some comfy shirts and an oversized, Metallica shirt. I called Jade up and she was quickly at my side, sorting my hair and doing my make-up, gossiping as she did. Once I was prepared, I put the dress on and slipped on an old pair of black converse.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you are not seriously wearing those with that dress, are you? I’ve got some heels if you want to borrow them!” Jade said, commenting on my choice of footwear.

“Fuck off, Jade; I love these shoes! They’re my comfort and that’s exactly what I need! Anyway, me and heels mix worse than me and dresses do AND Zack’s only an inch taller than I am, if I put heels on I’ll dwarf the poor fellow,” I informed her, making us both giggle.

“Okay, well, you’ve got your phone and some money, I put some condoms in there too-“

“Jade!” I interrupted her,

“- What?! Who knows? You might get some!” she winked, “anyway, call us if you need anything and I’ll see you tomorrow!” Jade said, hugging me and saying our goodbyes now, before we went downstairs.

There was a knock on the door and a text came through on my phone, telling us Zacky had arrived, “ooooh, go get ‘em, tiger!” Jade called behind me as I left.

I smiled at her and smiled even wider to see that Cam had let Zacky and was now playing with Hud. I coughed slightly, making both men look up towards me. Their draws dropped through the floor as they saw me, Zacky’s eyes almost popping out of his head. Honestly, it made me a bit uncomfortable, Cam not so much; I don’t think he’d ever seen me dress the way I was...I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen myself dressed like I was. Anyway, Zack was, unfortunately, the one making me uncomfortable; I was sure he’d seen a hell of a lot prettier and better looking girls than I was and, I don’t know, letting him see me like this made me nervous, comparing myself to other imaginary women that I could see Zack picking over me.

Cam was about to say something as Zacky butted in, “Daaayum, Lauren, you look great!” he said winking and I quickly judged him for being so arrogant of Cam...wait...what? Zacky was the nice one! Memories of Brian led in the bed at Jason’s came flooding back and I physically smacked my head for letting them come back.

“Whoa, are you okay?” Cam asked, rushing to my side, holding my head.

“Yeah, sorry, had a bit of an itchy, achy thing I don’t really know now, I’m okay,” I told him, laughing nervously.

“Okaay,” Cam said, sceptically, “you guys have fun,” he told Zacky and I as he led us out of the house.

At first, Zacky held my waist but just as the door closed behind us, his hand slid down to my ass and holding it, making me physically squirm, trying to loosen his grip but it only got stronger.

We got to Zack’s car and pulled out of the drive. The entire drive was silent and so was most of the time we were in the bar; Zack spent most of the time either talking to the bartender, other guys at the bar or watching other, much.. much more attractive girls walk past which made me feel sick to the stomach and completely shit about myself. I would’ve left but there was still a tiny part of me that felt bad.

After about 3-ish hours, getting drinks poured on me and Zacky being a general dick, Zack shuffled closer to me, placing his hand on my knee and leaning in so his head was next to my ear.

“So, Lauren, you look great tonight and you know that, how abouts we go back to mine and, uh, have some more fun at my place?” He asked, nibbling my ear as he ran his hand up my thigh. He was fairly obviously drunk and this time he tried to flirt with me, it was making me shake and making a panic come on; I did not like what he was doing.

“Ha, you’re going to have to get me a lot drunker for that, pretty boy,” I joked, sipping my beer, my tone bitter.

He scrunched his face up, as if he was getting angry and I started getting worried, “oh, is that right?” he said through gritted teeth, pushing his hand further up, under the hem of my dress. Now I really was upset; just over a week ago I really liked Zack but this was too much; it was like he only ever wanted to get in my pants and I felt dirty. I was not going back to that.

“No, Zack! I am not going to back to being treated like that!” I pushed his hand away, leaving my beer and getting off the bar stool.

Now he was angry. He grabbed my arm, “no you don’t,” he said, tightening his grip on my arm. My self defence I’d learnt after a similar situation came into play then; I slapped him and ran my foot across his shin, taking the skin with it. He bent down, crying out in pain, clutching his face and leg, allowing enough time for me to run.

I could hear him storming behind me, pushing over bar stools and shoving people out of the way. By this time I was crying my eyes out; I didn’t want it to happen again, not when I finally moved on from the last time; I was finally getting happier; I finally found someone that, I thought, I liked me.

I couldn’t see where I was going but felt myself push through some doors and into the cool night air. I was running through the car park when I slammed into someone tall and built. I looked up to see who he was. It was Brian, not looking at me but, wrapping his arm around me as protection, sizing himself up as Zacky stormed towards us.

“Hey, dude! That would be MY date, you fucking cock-block!” Zacky shouted, shoving Brian in his brilliantly defined chest.

He barely wavered as he shoved him back, “lay off it Zack,” Syn warned, his voice, low, calm and conserved.

“What? What!?! You want her too, Gates? Your dick get big when you think about her too, ay? At least, that’s what you told me, right?” Zacky challenged. I was shocked. I didn’t know whether Zack had said it out of jest as he tried to pick a fight with Brian but, judging by the suddenly angry look on Brian’s face, Zack may have been telling the truth.

Brian shoved me away into the crowd that was forming as the fight got more intense, probably to get me out of it as he went to shove Zack again, “what the FUCK did you say?” Brian questioned his voice still fairly calm but there was obvious anger.

“You like her too, you dickwad! The only difference is, while you’re over at your house, thinking about her and getting blue-balls, I’m here, getting her drunk and getting in!”

Zack took it too far... way too far. Tears carried on falling down my face, ruining my make-up as they tumbled down my cheeks and neck. Brian’s anger bubbled over too; out of nowhere, he brought his right arm up and hit Zack square in the face. I gasped as the whole crowed ‘oooohed’ and cheered them on. Brian turned away as Zack bled, holding his nose, he went to grab me when Zack, rather foolishly, threw his shoe at Brain’s head.

Before he turned around, Brian whispered a small ‘I’m sorry’ as he went back to have a go at Zack, bringing up his fists. I wasn’t sure whether or not it was on behalf of Zacky’s actions or that all this time he actually liked me. It kind of made sense though, how he was always watching me, pointing me out to Jimmy and how comfortable he was when I woke up next to him. If I’m honest, I felt bad I’d dragged him into this.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a big, strong pair of arms, swiftly guiding me across the car park. I looked up to check who it was; Brian. Creepy Brian. Remember that, Lauren? The one that used to stare at you and grope you when you were sleeping? Although I understood better now, I was still a little weary of Brian; he still creeped me out when we first met but, knowing what I do now, now he enticed me; he seemed so dark and illusive, I wanted to know more. Not to mention he was ridiculously attractive, even with blood dripping from his face where Zacky had hit him. In fact, I liked it; it made him look powerful, like he was definitely able to protect me from other guys...guys like Zacky turned out to be.

It hit me then, after tonight, I didn’t want to be going home with any man, especially not in the state I was in and definitely not with Brian because despite all I felt about him, I knew it was wrong and I was in no way comfortable with him yet.

Half away across the car park I pulled myself away from Brian, “wait, no, I’m not going with you!”

“What?” he looked down at me, still angry, holding my arm again.

“I’m not going with you! Not after what you’ve been doing to me!” I called to him, whacking his chest as I tried to struggle away from his new grasp.

“What? Are you serious? After everything that’s happened tonight, you still I think I’m worse than him,” Brian argued, pointing to a limp Zacky, picking himself up off the floor with the help of some of the bystanders, “after everything I’ve already done for you tonight! Because if you still really think I’m that bad, you’re welcome to go back with him! Just don’t expect me to be here the next time he tries to take advantage of you!” Brian called, clearly hurt by what I’d said, and tears even started to form in his eyes.

I looked back at Zacky, his face was bloody and his body leaned to one side where Brian had hurt his left side making him make sure he didn’t put weight on it and, despite all this, he still wore a grin that made me physically shiver.

I burst into tears, my head crashing into Brian’s chest. His body relaxed as I cried into his shoulder, his hand moving from my arm to cup the back of my head to hold me against him as his other arm wrapped around my waist in a completely secure embrace, shushing me. We held like that for at least five minutes; until I calmed down.

“I promise I won’t hurt you; I couldn’t ever hurt you, not like he intended. You don’t even have to come back to mine; I’ll drive you back to mine, if you’d prefer,” he told me, lifting my head from his chest to look into my eyes. He was genuine. I was slowly beginning to trust him.

“Thank you,” I told him, my voice sincere but weak. It meant a lot more than ‘just take me home;’ it was a thank you for everything; for fighting off Zacky, for telling me he liked me, even if he didn’t intend it.

He nodded, leading me back to his car. He looked back once at Zacky, he scoffed, shaking his head as he opened the door for me.

Notes