Ghouls

She was shocked. I knew it. The expression on her face said it all; her jaw hung open, wavering as she tried to determine the right words to say but her mind drew a blank on them all, clearly upset by the matter.

“Lauren, I –“ she began, making me cringe at the thought of her bullshit of an apology.

“Don’t. I’ve had enough of that shit,” I told her, not being able to look at her without tearing.

“Oh..” she deflated, hurt. She then moved her hand from her lap to rest on my knee, making me look up at her. “Lauren, I am sorry... if it was as long ago as you say, you can’t have been old and no one should have to go through something like that. Ever,” she paused for a while, watching my tearful face, “is there anything else you think you should tell me?”

“Only that I was on some antidepressants and the pill before I came here and haven’t been on them in months and I probably should’ve seen someone sooner,” I told her, fed up and upset. I suddenly felt bad I’d brought Brian out; I definitely had no intentions in being with him all afternoon now; not without breaking down.

She sighed, “okay, what were the names of the anti-depressants and pill?” she asked, turning to her computer to enter the information.

“I can’t remember the anti-depressants but the pill was dianette,” I told her, avoiding eye contact.

“Okay, well, I’ll prescribe you some... how’s your sleeping and period’s been if you haven’t been on your medication?” she asked.

I thought back to the numerous horrific nightmares I’d had over the last weeks...months even, and how my periods had been a heck of a lot heavier, painful and irregular recently, “they’ve been pretty shitty, to be fair... sorry,” I apologised for my unnecessary use of vulgar language.

“It’s alright; what’s gone on?” she asked, watching her computer, adding any information I gave her.

“Well, I’ve not really slept for the last months and if I have rested I’ve had really...really bad nightmares,” she was looking at me, interested as I watched her worriedly, “and periods? They’re a lot heavier than normal,” I told her, averting my eyes again.

“Okay, well, that may have caused the bleeding today; not being on the pill can cause your body to bleed if you’ve come off of it suddenly,” she informed me, smiling lightly, giving me her diagnosis.

“Okay, well, thank you,” I stood to leave when she called me back.

“Wait, hang on, let me give you this prescription and you can pick up the medication from the pharmacy here,” she smiled, “it was very good to meet you, Lauren, give Jade and Cam my best,” she stood to lead me out, opening the door to me.

“You really won’t tell them?” I whispered, conscious that Brian may still be near and hear me.

“I told you, doctor/patient confidentiality; anything you say I cannot tell anyone, unless you want me to,” she smiled.
I sighed, “okay, thank you...?” I thanked, querying her name.

“Sarah. As I said, send Jade my love,” we said our goodbyes and I started my way down the corridor, finding Brain sat in one of the chairs, staring at the floor in deep thought.

I walked to him, standing just beside him before he lifted his stern face that melted to a sympathetic smile when he saw me, “hey.”

“Heya, ready to go?” I asked him, walking through the door back to the waiting room.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, checking around him for anything he may have dropped before smiling and resting his hand on my back, making me flinch away, “what’s up?” he asked, concern coating his voice.

“Nothing; I’m fine,” I snapped, my voice barely whispering.

He didn’t press, simply watched me in confusion as we walked to the in-surgery pharmacy to collect the medication.

The time to collect the prescription and to the truck was eerily quiet and uncomfortable. We sat in the parking lot for what seemed like forever in the silence as my legs shook and my palms sweat further with the nerves Brian now caused with his reticence.

“You okay?” I finally whispered my throat dry.

His head shot quickly at the sound but his face remained soft, “yeah, yeah, I’m more worried about you...” he admitted, his features dropping in upset and worry, smiling weakly.

I sighed heavily, “I’m fine it’s just... it’s been a while,” I told him, not meeting his eyes.

He seemed even more confused, “what do you mean it’s been a while?” he asked, his brow furrowing.

“It doesn’t matter. I just... drive, for fuck sake,” I snapped, quickly becoming upset.

“Okay..” he sighed.

The ride home was silent again, only the quiet hums of the crap on the radio and the engine to be heard. We’d been making our way along the beachfront towards home when Brian turned right into one of the parking spots along the boardwalk, next to one of the many sundae stands.

“Bri.. what are you doing?” I croaked, still tired from the restless sleep before and slowly nodding off on the drive from the doctors.

“We are getting ice-cream,” he stated, smiling, removing my keys from the engine and leaping out of the seat, moving around the bonnet to open my door.

I sighed, rubbing my face with my sticky, warm hands, wanting to do nothing else but sleep, before I smiled at him opening my door and leaping out.

Yet again we were quiet whilst Brian ordered both our sundaes and finding a cool metal seat and table to sit.

“So, how you been?” he asked, taking a large spoon of his banoffee sundae.

My face lifted significantly, expecting him to ask about my snappy attitude and my doctor’s appointment... as well as his birthday, “um.. well.. I don’t really know... it’s been up and down, I guess.”

“Why so shocked?” he smiled brightly, immediately sparking a smile upon my own face.

“I don’t know, it’s just been kinda rough with us lately and... I don’t know.. you must have a lot of questions,” I told him, still smiling, as I took a spoon of my own berry sundae.

“Yeah, I do, but, I don’t know, I guess with the way you’ve been acting I guessed you probably don’t want to talk about it right now,” he seemed completely unfazed by the subject as he continued to devour the ice-cream in front of him, whereas I had significantly gone off the food, still managing to eat out of politeness.

I simply smiled my ‘thank you’, earning a smile in return as we quietly finished our sundaes, this silence a lot more comfortable than before.

“Okay,” Brian finished his sundae, his spoon tapping against the sides of the tall glass, “now what?” He leant back in his seat, his hands resting behind his head as he watched me finish my own sundae and do the same.

“Now what... what?” I asked.

“What do you want to do?”

“Sleep..”

“Not an option. You can sleep later.”

I grunted, only wanting to go home, even if it was to be with him and cuddle... then I remembered Hudson, my head falling to the table.
“What’s up?” Brian leaned forward, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I lifted my head to find his concerned face, I smiled at him lightly, “I need to walk Hud, if you’re interested?”

His signature smirk formed as he replied, “well, good job Pinkly needs a run too, ay?” he winked, causing a cascade of butterflies to boil within me. Another sensation rose up my throat, a feeling much more ferocious than butterflies; tingling as it got to my mouth and
erupted into the largest belch to groan from my stomach.

Heat flamed my cheeks as I blushed, covering my face with my hands as I groaned in embarrassment whilst Brian sat laughing hysterically beside me, making me blush further.

“Aaaawh, I love you...come on,” he gestured, still smiling widely and holding his arm out to remove me from my seat.

I froze, “what?”

“What what?” he asked.

“What did you say?”

He thought for a while, “what? I love you?”

I gulped, “yeah...”

“What about it?”

“What the fuck do you mean?” I was getting angry again.

“Jeeez, Lauren, chill! Just because I love you doesn’t mean I necessarily want you... I mean, I do.. but that’s beside the point; you’re an ace person and I do love you; you’re phenomenal but, obviously, if you don’t want that right now then that’s fine; I can love you as a friend too y’know,” he sighed, smiling to comfort me.

I exhaled deeply, standing and wrapping my arms around his neck for him to wrap his own around my waist, “I am sorry, you know? And I will answer all your questions... I just don’t know if I can right now,” I admitted, tearing into his shoulder.

“It’s fine,” he chuckled, “I get it... take all the time you need,” his hands rubbed my back, “now, come on, those dogs need walking,” he pulled me away, his large hands resting on the tops of my arms where he lightly rubbed, calming me.

We headed back towards the truck, getting in and first driving to my apartment to pick up Hudson. The drive was no longer deadly quiet but full of our obnoxiously loud voices singing along to whatever CDs were in my truck at the time, laughing along to our favourite tracks, playfully taking the piss out of each other for our more corny favourites, laughing at each other. This continued as we collected both Hudson and Pinkly. At Brian’s we picked up a crate of beers and headed back towards the beach. We reached the shore just as the sky turned to the various precious colours of pink, purple and orange. I adored the sun low on the water but still high enough to allow a few more hours of light.

We climbed from the truck, letting the pups from the boot, grabbing the beers and walking across the smooth wood of the boardwalk to the soft, warm sand of Huntington Beach. We leant against the wall, removing our shoes and carrying them. Bri found a long piece of driftwood and threw it for the dogs, taking his shoes in his right hand and holding the beers between his ribs and his arm, the fingertips of his left hand entwining with mine. He leant in kissing my cheek, making us both giggle, as we made our way in the dying light along the beach, watching Hudson and Pinkly play.

Eventually we found a place in the sand, not too far from the water. The sun was looming perfectly on the horizon as we sat, drinking, laughing, watching and playing with the dogs.

The hours passed and there as the sun fell low in the sky, we went quiet. It was a comfortable silence though, watching the sunset.
“Another?” Brian asked, offering me another bottle.

“Thank you,” I smiled, leaning into his chest as the sun made its final dip below the waves.

He slowly kissed my head, nervous of my reaction, pausing. I cuddled into him, allowing him further. I wasn’t sure why though; he could do so much better than me yet here he was, but I was so comfortable around him and despite the fact that the very idea of a relationship scared me, I wanted no one else to enjoy this moment with. After everything that had happened, he was till the only person I wanted to be around, the only one I genuinely missed during our time apart because the truth is, I wanted him just as much as I now knew he wanted me.. more even. But the thought of a relationship still struck me to the core; the fear of being hurt again rattled me more than anything. I stayed away from everyone to avoid the upset and for years it worked... until him.

His unending understanding overwhelmed me; I’d never been treated so well by any man, never mind the cold-hearted, distant creep I first met. And something about that made me want him more. Something about him being such an asshole before to being such a gentleman now made me intrigued as to why. Why me? I was nothing special, not to mention a dick to him, why was he being so understanding and forgiving? What did he want me for? The fear of him wanting me for what every other guy before him did terrified me; it hurt, to feel like nothing but meat.. but Bri didn’t seem like most guys; he actually seemed to... care? But there was hurt in his concern, in his past, in my past, in my present.. but he forgave that. I figured I needed, if not a partner, then a friend at least... and I had that in him. I had either; whichever made me happiest, and that comforted me.

Nevertheless, as he gently kissed my jaw and neck, returning to kiss my cheek as the hand he had draped over my shoulders came to hold mine, my body stiffened; not sure as to whether this was what I really wanted for us. As if he sensed that, he stopped kissing me and I could feel his eyes on me as he acknowledged my discomfort.

“C’mon, come with me,” he got to his feet, taking me with him.

“Why? Where are we going?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise,” he smiled, making me look at him confused but a smile playing onto my lips. He helped me up before collecting our empty bottles and whistling for the dogs.

We began to tread in the now cool sand as darkness crept, the moon illuminating the scene in an eerie, but romantic, silver glow. The walk was fairly silent before I heard the faint sound of loud music and bright lights from the distance.

“What the fuck?” I queried, earning nothing but a smirk from Brian, as if he knew exactly what it was.

As we got closer, I noticed it was some kind of fair, with mild rides and games as well as various food and candy stalls. I looked up to find a large, white banner hanging from, what looked like, two giant fishing rods rooted in the sand with the words ‘Huntington Beach Annual Carnival 2007’ written in large, red letters.

“Did you know about this?” I beamed, I loved a carnival and somehow Brian arranging to take me was making me fall for him even further.

“Hey! Matt!” he avoided my question, which, added to the smile, confirmed to me that he definitely knew, making an eruption of butterflies delicately graze the insides of my stomach. The two outstretched their arms, enveloping each other into a large bear hug.

“Oi, did you plan this? Did he know?” I playfully scowled, pulling Matt from Bri by his large arm and pointed to Brian.

“Oh, hey, Matt! How’ve you been?” he sarcastically mimicked me, smiling a wild dimpled smile. His body relaxed as he answered truthfully, “of course he did, L! It’s California’s biggest, bestest, carinvaaal!” he stretched his arms again, going back to wrap themselves around his, pretty, blonde girlfriend Lacey, whom I last met at Bri’s party. “C’mon! The other guys are all watching Johnny try and knock all the coconuts off the stalls,” he chuckled, turning on his heels with Lace wrapping around his middle as Bri did the same to me, making me blush as we followed Matt to where the guys should be.

Soon enough, we found a fairly drunk Johnny desperately trying to throw plastic balls at coconuts on poles in the sand inside a colourful, red and gold-striped tent. Caitlyn held herself up against him as they both laughed uncontrollably, Jimmy and Georgie standing aside laughing as they watched the couple fall to the floor in fits of giggles.

“LaurEN!” Jimmy screamed as he ran towards me once he saw the four of us.

“Jimbo!” I smiled, clinging onto his tall, warm body as his long arms wrapped around my neck and shoulders.

“Where have you been these last few weeks, goddammit? I’ve missed your crazy ways...” he held me tighter.

“In hiding,” I cautiously told him.

“Well, stop hiding from me,” he gripped my shoulders hard at arm’s length, his nails sharply pinching the skin, his eyes staring, suddenly cold and stern. I couldn’t figure out if he was doing it out of love and that this was just Jimmy’s way or whether it was something much deeper... much harsher than that.

“Well, she’s not going anywhere anymore,” Brian forcefully nudged Jimmy’s hands from me as he subtly wrapped his arm around my shoulders, throwing Jimmy a spiteful smile, as if his smile was a cover up to the rest of the group but it was really a warning... but I wasn’t sure what for.

“Yeah? How’ve you done that then, Gates? You’ve never really been able to hold down a proper nice girl for longer than your bank account will allow,” Johnny slurred in his drunken naivety as tensions quickly elevated within the group and Brian relaxed in sudden upset. With the tension, Jimmy slapped Johnny in the back of the head, forgetting Brian and his earlier stand off to stand up for his friend, as if their tiff hadn’t happened at all.

“Well,” Brian awkwardly began, “this girl isn’t like other girls,” I gulped, suddenly feeling ill at the words, my legs shaking and my palms sweating as I got increasingly uncomfortable. As if he knew, Bri removed his arm from my shoulders to rest at his side, his hand falling lightly on my hip, “and guys, we’re not even together –“

“-yet,” Matt interrupted, making us all chuckle lightly.

“Well, that’s not necessarily the goal, but if that’s the outcome then I’ll be a very lucky, happy guy,” his hand travelled to the middle of my back. I looked up to him to find him already smiling at me. “Now, I’m going to steal her away from your lack of belief in us before she runs away and leaves us all again!” He spoke, his hands climbing to my shoulders and playfully spinning me around and leading me in the opposite direction, everyone chuckling before we said our quick goodbyes as we walked away.

“So, what do you wanna do first?” he whispered, gently sliding his fingers to entwine with my own and hold my hand.

“Don’t mind,” I blushed, watching him as his eyes darted around all of the games and food with a beaming smile plastering his sweet face.

“Oh, come on, pick something!” he looked at me, still smiling widely.

“You pick, I don’t mind,” I giggled, watching his frustration rise slightly as I refused to pick somewhere to go.

“Eurgh, Lauren, God’s sake, you can’t just pick, can you?” he teased, swinging our arms as he continued to look round the tents for something enjoyable.

“What can I say? I’m extremely indecisive,” we both giggled. I gave in, “okay, okay, okay, why don’t we eat something first then decide where we both want to go?” I suggested.

He stopped in his tracks, our arms stopping from swinging as he looked at me and pouted playfully, “but –“

My concern rose slightly, worried that I’d upset or offended him, despite not knowing what for. Yet beneath knowing he must be playing by his over-exaggerated upset, “ – but what?” I asked, watching him.

“But I thought we could go back to mine after this and, I don’t know, I could cook us something or – “ his faked pout quickly slid into a devious smirk as he suggested he took me home with him.

I smirked back at him, slightly patronising him, “awwwe, Bri,” I began to stroke his arm, “that’s so sweet,” I faked a tear as he pulled himself away.

“No, you’re right, it was a bad idea,” he turned away, letting go of my hand and beginning to walk off.

I grabbed his arm and spun him back, “no no no, Bri, I’d love to.”

His surprise came immediately after; his face suddenly changed from gloomy and upset to shocked and excited, “you serious?”

“Yeah, why not?” I held his hand again, leading him towards a cotton candy stall close by.

“Nice... thank you.” I looked back at him; he seemed fairly emotional that I’d said yes and he gripped my hand tighter and a sad but relieved and happy smile spread over his face.

“No problem; I’d love too... now, come on! I want candy floss!” I squealed, running towards the stall with large bags of pink, blue and white fluff while lots of children and their parents lined up as others walked away with their glorious sweet piled high upon thin, wooden sticks.

We joined the queue and stood in line, soon getting to the front. Brian bought me my pink cotton candy and bought us both root beers, getting nothing to eat for himself. He also managed to buy some beef jerky to treat Pinkly and Hud while we stood a while for the dogs to drink; the stall had set out a couple of water bowls for his customers’ dogs.

“How come you didn’t get anything then?” I asked him, tearing a chunk of the candy floss away from the heap and placing it on my tongue where it soon became sticky.

He shrugged, “beef jerky,” and took a stick of the treat and ate it.

“Eeerw,” I groaned, scrunching my face at my disgust.

“What?” he chuckled.

“That’s nasty,” I told him.

He just laughed his adorable laugh and picked out the last few bits of treat and handed them to the two pups sat intently at his feet.

“Okay, what now?” I asked him, continuing to eat my candy.

“Dunno, it’s up to you,” he said, standing from his aluminium garden seat to walk to the bin where he then put the empty packet of beef and our empty cans.

I thought for a moment before smiling widely. “You know what would be really fun but really cliché?” I said sitting crossed legged, facing him on my seat.

“What’s that then?” he sat again.


“If you won me a giant teddy,” I blushed, eating my candy to cover up my overwhelming grin.

He smiled back, “yeah, alright then, let’s go find a teddy,” he stood, taking the two dogs by their leads and helping me up. “So, what kinda teddy do you want?” His arm found my shoulders, only this time I wasn’t uneasy; I was completely comfortable to be alone with him; I was no longer uncomfortable with being around him as right now he was making me feel special... wanted.

“Giant panda. Definitely.” I assured him, continuing to walk under his arm.

“Okay, let’s find you a panda!” He announced so loud everyone heard, making me giggle hysterically and him to smile down at me.

Soon enough we found a game that’s big prize was a big Giant Panda teddy bear; the shooting range, “I can shoot an air rifle!” I told him as I leant over the counter and watched him prepare for shooting.

“Oh, yeah?” he smirked, watching me as I binned my empty stick and petted the two dogs.

“Yarp, you haf to when you grow up in farmers’ coun’ry,” I played a typical south-western England, farmer accent with made him laugh to the point of tears. “You don’t get it, we have more guns that you guys do,” I smiled watching him laugh.

“That right?” he spoke, wiping away his tears as he lined himself up to shoot the cans.

He failed several times before we were both in fits of giggles having another go; despite telling him it didn’t matter and that we didn’t need the teddy, he was determined to win it for me, before we were interrupted by the sound of voices behind us.

We turned around to see one face that could not have come at a worse time. Zacky. Brian’s entire body stiffened as he slightly stood in front of me, protecting me, gripping the gun tighter in his hand. He didn’t know about what happened at the garage; the last time they’d seen each other was at Brian’s party where, I’d heard, they’d had another fight.
Jimmy was stood with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face behind Zacky, pushing him forward before speaking, “this lil shit wanted to talk to Lauren but his balls are too small to just walk up to you, so,” he shrugged, looking to me then Brian before beginning to walk away.

“Yeah, well – “ Brian began before I cut him off.

“No, Bri, it’s fine.. you go with Jimmy and I’ll catch you up,” I smiled at him sadly. He was reluctant to go. But soon enough he trudged away with Jim.

Zacky nudged forward, his toes kicking about the dirt between his feet. His body lurched over itself as his hands plunged firmly in his pockets and his head and shoulders nervously leant forward, “Look, Lauren, I –“

I cut him off, not prepared to waste my time hearing the same petty excuses, “No, Zack, save it. What do you want?”

“Just that, I want to apologise... for everything. I’ve been thinking about what you said and you’re right; we can’t carry on how we are.

We’re bound to be seeing each other a lot more now, whether we like it or not, and we need to bury that hatchet before it gets any worse.”

I wasn’t sure why, but I listened to him gladly. It was the first time he’d taken my thoughts into account or hadn’t said anything snide or demeaning. “Okay, deal. We’ve got to have some ground rules though if we’re going to be friends and not upset each other.”

“Sounds fair,” he nodded, smiling lightly at our progress. I smiled back as he answered, “okay... what do you want from me?” he smirked.

I smiled, laughing lightly, “okay, I want you to back off a bit and stop being so pissy and overpowering all the time...I’ve heard you can be real fun to be around and I’d like to see that,” I told him truthfully.

He blushed lightly; despite everything he was still undoubtedly cute, “okay... only if you loosen up a bit; you’re always so guarded and cautious and I know you have your reasons but word on the street is you’re a lot of fun to be with and I’d like to see it too.”

I blushed lightly too as he stepped closer and we both relaxed more. I still wasn’t sure about Zacky. From what I’d heard, his way with women could be less than brutal but from what his friends had said, he was one of the kindest, warming guys you could meet, and I’d much rather be a friend of the later. What made this all easier though was that he was trying; he seemed genuinely upset by what had happened and wanted to make it right, like he said, bury the hatchet. I was more than willing; I still liked Zack, after everything, and felt like we needed to be friends for any of this to work, so we spent a few hours just being friends. We found some small amount of food, went on the bumper cars, shooting ranges, coconuts, house of fun, ghost train; the entire time laughing. There was some awkwardness still there when we found we were getting a bit closer than we intended but it was soon laughed off.

“So, what happened to the blonde?” I asked him, referring to his bimbo.

“Oh, Cat?”

“If that was her name then yeah.”

He laughed lightly at my clear lack of interest in her, “yeah, we split a little while back.”

“Oh, how come?” I stepped a little closer to him as we walked along the beach with our beers while the other guys and girls played with the dogs in the sand. Brian kept a watchful eye and Matt caught on too.

“Let’s just say she wasn’t exactly a one-man band,” he told me. He looked as if he were going to break in front of me; I felt terrible for him.

“Ooh... sorry,” I offered him a light smile which he accepted gladly as we made our way back to the group.

“You guys seem to be getting along swimmingly,” Matt interrupted fairly sternly but still welcoming.

“Yeah, well, we decided it’s best for us to bury the hatchet so,” Zack cheered up and smiled.

The smile evoked something painful in the pit of my stomach; it seemed an exact replica of the smile that looked down on me in my dream the night before. I smiled, hiding the sudden stabbing pains in my lower abdomen.

“Well, it is nice to see you guys are friends, maybe these two will stop the scrapping,” Matt commented jovially in reference to Brian and Zack.

I smiled back at him as he flashed his wide, dimpled grin to us all before continuing, “well, it’s been grand, boys! But it’s time for Lacey and I to get back,” he announced as he wrapped his huge arm around the small woman’s frame.

“Yep, same as that; me and Cait are off too,” Johnny stumbled, also going to wrap his arm around Caitlyn’s shoulder, collapsing on top of her.

“I think it’s best if we took you two home,” Georgie smiled as she hugged onto Jimmy and smiled.

“Okay, well, we can take Zack home and Bri, you can take Lauren back as you’re heading that way,” Matt suggested and we all agreed.

We made our way up to the car park where everyone else had parked, said our goodbyes, and me and Bri began to walk back along the boardwalk to my truck. By the time we got there it was dark and I was stumbling with exhaustion. Upon getting to the door, Brian placed his hand on my back and guided me in, handing me my seatbelt, closing the door, and getting into the driver’s side.

“So, you still okay to come back to mine or do you just want to go home? You look tired and I think Hud wants his bed..” he asked as he started the truck.

“No no, I’d like to stay,” I smiled, “we might need to pick up some clean pants and some dog stuff though,” I giggled.

“That’s alright with me,” he smiled as he took a moment to fix his gaze on me before reluctantly focusing on the road ahead.

The truck grumbled into action as the bright white street lights illuminated Brian’s flawlessly sculpted face, his light smile enhancing his perfectly defined cheekbones and angular jaw. I watched him. His keen, but warm, chocolate eyes darted in his sockets as he concentrated on the dim-lit, empty roads. My chest grew warm in rapture as I brought my knees to my chin and I rotated my body to lean on the seat to watch him. He was undoubtedly gorgeous; I’d always thought that; as wrong as it may have been to pick a favourite from a band, Syn was always mine.

He was becoming all I ever dreamed he would be. At first he may have been cold and distant, which is what pushed me to Zacky, but now Brian was as sweet and kind and as goofy and as funny as I’d always imagined and I loved it. I loved Brian. I always loved him, in the creepy fangirl kinda way but my adoration for him grew every second we were together. I still wasn’t sure whether I was happy or sad; considering my past with men, any insinuation of a relationship shook was bound to worry me. On the other hand, Brian was the only man on the planet, that wasn’t my brother, that ever showed any interest and care and wasn’t out to hurt me and that both confused and enlightened me; Confused me that a guy actually seemed to care about me, but enlightened that it was Brian that did.

I fell asleep with Brian’s warm palm rested on my head as his thumb stroked my forehead lightly and he smiled at me, his eyes deviating from the road to my exhausted face. The white street lights, along with the moonlight, shone upon his impeccable features, making him look more perfect than I’d ever seen him. My eyes drifted closed slowly as the faultless view disappeared but the fondness remained, thoughts of this relationship spiralling in my head, but also relaxing me into sleep. One of the more rested sleeps in a long time.

Notes