Ghouls

It had been days since I’d seen anybody besides Cam and Jade; I may have come out of my room but I refused to leave the house. It ended up getting pretty boring, lazing around the house on my own, so I got up and decided I needed a job so I went into town; Cam was working from home at the time and let me borrow his car.

Before leaving, I wrote up a CV and went to drive around looking, mainly, for places that were hiring and anywhere I’d enjoy or had experience in. I ended up posting to several bars and coffee shops, music stores, cafés, general stores; anything I could find. I even found a garage that was hiring which was a major bonus; back home my best friend’s Dad was a mechanic and taught the two of us how to take apart and put together an engine, fix up broken ones as well as teaching us both how to drive; by the time we were 15/16 we both worked for him in his garage. Smiling at the distant, but pleasant, memory, I drove home.

After a few weeks I either hadn’t had a reply from a company or they’d told me there wasn’t a place for me. In a desperate attempt to find somewhere, I printed some more CV’s and headed back into town. I was driving around for about an hour, trying to think of where to go, but the only place I really wanted to work at was the old, vintage garage I’d seen.

I found where it was and pulled in, immediately met by a pair of sparkling, deep blue eyes. An employee.

“Hey, can I help you?”

He had short brown hair, was fairly pale, and wore a tight black shirt (through which I could clearly see he was built exceptionally well) his dirty, grey overalls slipped down to his waist where he tied the two arms around his waist, all topped with a mucky pair of black converse, much like my own. He didn’t have tattoos but that didn’t matter; we could work on that and it seemed that his eyes were pretty and distracting enough to not notice.

“Hey,” he said, waving his hands in front of my face, smiling. He’d got me staring. Fuck.

“Yes, sorry, I’m looking for the boss, Mike, do you know if he’s in and where I can find him?” I asked, embarrassed.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll go get him,” he told me, walking towards the back room after shooting me a perfect, white smile.

He called for Mike and returned to his work after telling me just to wait where I was; he’d be through in a minute. After a time, I noticed he was playing Bullet For My Valentine - Tear's Don't Fall. I began murmuring along, my heart pinching a bit at the relate-ability, until I realized I was loud enough for him to hear me; he began to sing with me, ending at the chorus. We smiled at each other, giggling at the situation...damn he was cute. I could definitely settle in to working here.

Mike appeared from the back room, he was the opposite to his employee; he was a fairly larger man, a small, chin beard and moustache, bald and tattoos covered most visible areas of his body. These guys were fucking cool.

“So, I see you’ve already met Harry, here,” Mike said, indicating to the cute guy I first met.

“Yes,” I smiled awkwardly.

“So, what can I do for you?” he asked.

“Well, it’s about the job I applied for a week or so back, it’s a bit forward of me to come snooping around and asking but I’m really interested in working with cars again and, I don’t know, you guys seem awesome and I’d really love to come and work for you,” I told him, laughing and scratching the back of my neck nervously.

“Again, ay?” Mike leant back onto the vintage car behind him, crossing his giant arms over his chest. Even Harry stopped his work; I could feel him turn around and look at me.

“”Yeah, I worked for my Dad’s friend, who was a mechanic, back in England.. Why?” I asked him.

“Well, it’s just a bit of a shock; not many nice young ladies are into fixing cars and getting their hands dirty; most of ‘em are just becoming strippers or marryin’ themselves someone rich... it’s nice to meet a girl that has experience in something that isn’t so degrading and hasn’t been forced into trying something different,” he said, pushing himself off the car and walking back into the back room.

I blushed heavily at his words, happy that someone had noticed I was different and didn’t discriminate me for it (that and Harry had come and stood next to me, smiling.)

Mike came back into the room, my CV and a pair of overalls in hand.

“So, you’re pretty well educated too?” Mike asked, cocking up his eyebrow and looking at me. I nodded in return.

“When can you start?” he asked, not taking his eyes off mine, throwing me the overalls.

“Oh, my God! Are you serious?”

“Mmmhmm,” he told me, leaning back on the car and crossing his arms, smiling at me in approval.

“Oh my God! Anytime! Whenever you need me to start! I’ll be here!” I squealed, beaming.

“Well, I’m taking the next few days off to go to my daughter’s wedding off in New York so I’m closing shop until I get back but as soon as I open again, you’re in,” he told me, still smiling.

“Oh, my life, thank you!” I squealed again. I hugged him out of nowhere, making us all laugh. I said goodbye to the pair before leaving for home, being sure to pick up some beer to celebrate and a coffee on the way.

The next week seemed to drag on forever; I couldn’t wait to start work at the garage with Mike and Harry and as soon as the day came, I was literally bouncing off the walls; there was just something I loved about getting messy and fixing up an engine, particularly motorbikes. Cam laughed at me when I told him I was working there but I didn’t give a fuck; we all knew there was no way he could fix an engine and that I could fix almost anything.

As nervous as I was for my first day, I soon became comfortable working around the guys, which was unusual considering my shit-ass reputation with them, but these guys were nice; as soon as I walked in and they were playing some old, classic metal in the form of Pantera, I was one of them; I was part of their family.

I was finally putting together my new life in California when one day, no more than a week into my new job, my world came tumbling down as the one man I’d been dreading of facing again came rolling into the lot in his mint condition, vintage car.

He stepped out of the car, walking over and bro-hugging Harry. Of course they were friends; I’ve got as much luck as a dachshund in a race with the greyhounds. The two began to talk about whatever was wrong with his car as I tried to busy myself; keeping myself out of sight but close enough to still be able to see them.

After a few moments, Harry began heading to the backroom. I watched him walk, turning my head back round to my own work as I was met by a pair of, once, bright green eyes that had dulled greatly since I last saw them. They were sunken into their sockets, surrounded by dark bags atop a pasty, pale face. He looked ill; he was thinner. He’d lost a lot of weight since I’d last seen him.

He began his walk over to me, “Lauren?” his voice was weak, a hint of fear as he approached. Shit. He’d seen me.

I pretended not to hear him, going to walk into the backroom when he grabbed my arm, but not like he had before; he was gentle, as if he was weary after the last time.

“Hey, Lauren! How’ve you been?” he asked with a smile.

I didn’t know what to say to him; part of me wanted to run or cry; anything so I didn’t have to talk to him. But the other looked deep into his eyes, his face, and saw that he’d let himself go and I couldn’t help but blame myself for him getting in such a state.

“Hey, sorry, I’m fine...you?” I asked, I decided to at least act civil; despite everything, Cam still had to go to his job and in the coming months...years we were going to have to see each other; I could never hold a grudge forever.

“Yeah, I’m doing a lot better knowing you’re okay; I’ve kinda beat myself up after what happened; I never meant to hurt you and all this time I’ve been desperate to make it up to you, L, I didn’t mean for it to end up how it has..” he trailed off. His eyes told me he was being sincere but after it all, I was still cautious to trust him.

He was about to say more when Harry returned, “alright, Mr. Baker, stop flirting with our female staff and come and give me a hand with this,” he instructed, not stopping to talk but walking straight to the car.

Zack gave a nod before asking, “when do you get off?”

“As much as I can but once every other night at least,” my tongue moved faster than my brain did. His jaw dropped, breaking way into laughter as Harry stopped in his tracks and turned to view us, shock spread his face. My face burned with embarrassment, my hand coming up to cover my mouth.

“You’re lucky I like you, Lauren; anyone else that was discussing their masturbation habits with my customers would be out,” I heard Mike say as he too walked past me from the backroom.

With that, I lost all will to live. I buried my face in my hands. Why did that have to happen? Why in front of...him? Why did I have such a big gob? Why did I have to make some stupid joke about sex whenever the opportunity aroused? Aroused. Oh, for god sake.

Zacky still stood laughing at me, my face as red as traffic light, “I meant, when are you free for coffee?” he asked. I froze. Was I seriously considering this? After this little...incident, something told me I owed him; owed him for letting that happen...and for ignoring him and all the guys over the past few weeks.

“I’m not sure, I’ll ask,” I replied. I shouted over to Mike, “Mike, when can I get off?” (I obviously never learnt how to think before I spoke...ever.)

“I don’t care; anywhere but here,” he chuckled making the room snigger with him.

“Actually, or anywhere in public; I’m sure no one wants to see that and I’m pretty sure it’s illegal...best keep it for home, ay? That is unless Mr. Vengeance here will let you do it with him,” Harry added, making him and Mike coo. That was when Zack stopped laughing, making it suddenly extremely awkward between us both. I fake laughed at their lame jokes, accepting that I was probably going to be the butt of every joke from now on.

“Come on, let’s go,” I told Zack, grabbing my jacket, keys and phone and heading out the garage. As we walked past, Harry was stood up on the bonnet of one of the cars pretending to rub himself as Mike snorted behind him, making Zack chuckle. My face burned red again as we walked out, making sure I flipped them both off as we turned out, making them both laugh harder.

Coffee with Zack was nice; he explained what had happened and that he never truly intended to hurt me in any way (making my heart pop and tears form; he was still so lovely) and that he blamed himself for it all. He explained to me that over the years he’d had some issues with alcohol in that it made him really angry. He couldn’t apologize enough and, funnily enough, I forgave him. His face lit up, glad that I’d actually forgiven him; I never expected myself to and I doubt anyone else did but, as I said, I could never hold a grudge forever and if he really was sorry, I was prepared to believe him; I knew all too well what kind of shit alcohol could get you into; I’d been in enough trouble due to it that I understood exactly where he was trying to come from.

After tearing up and apologizing to each other, we ended up having a genuinely lovely chat; telling each other what had been going on. Zack laughed as he recalled drunken nights he’d had with the rest of the guys and I told him of my boring life so far; spending all day in front of the TV and Xbox.

Eventually I asked something that make us both shift in our seats; it was becoming a bit of a taboo; Zack knew what he’d said and he knew I needed answers; I wasn’t going to get them any other way.

“How are you and Brian?”

“We’re okay; after I apologized to him for that night, we was a bit cold but over the weeks he’s slowly warmed and become my friend again, haha, he’s a sensitive pussy really; you upset him it takes him a while to like you again,” Zacky explained.

It seemed there was a deeper story to why Syn could be so distant; I didn’t want to push though; judging by his suddenly sluggish posture, I guessed Zack didn’t really feel like talking about it. Although, it did make me even more curious about Brian; I thought he intrigued me before but now I had the suspicions that there really was more to him than met the eye, nothing could keep me from wanting to know more. But, above all, I needed to know whether he really did like me.

“So...Um...did you mean what you said? About him...What he said to you?” I asked.

Zack gave me a confused, “Lau, I was really fuckin’ drunk, you know; I remember none of it, to be honest,” he laughed.

Now I got uncomfortable; I didn’t really want to say it, “oh, well, it was something about his dick getting big when he thought of me or something...” I trailed off, trying to hide my face.

His face dropped, “aah, yeah, we had another scrap afterwards for that...” I looked up at him but his eyes were at his feet, this was genuine.

He lifted his head up, “can I be really honest with you, Lauren?”

“Of course...”

“He seems really fucking fond of you, shit, both of us are. He talks about you a lot, despite being an ass; he knows he can be cold and he beats himself for it, especially when it comes to you,” he told me, looking back to his feet, as if he were worried.
Part of me was surprised, part of me wasn’t; I was shocked that it was genuine, considering Zack only said it when he was drunk, but most of all, that he admitted it at all. I wasn’t shocked, however, that they both happened to like me. Funny how they’re both so different at showing it.

“Why are you telling me this, Zack?” I asked, sincerely.

“Because I know he’s got a better chance with you now than I ever will...” he continued to look at his feet.

“Why do you say that?” I went to hold his hand but he pulled it away.

“Because I’ve fucked up worse than he has, Lauren; there are a hundred reasons why you’d pick him over me, no matter how much I love you.”

My heart completely stopped. “What?”

“I think I love you, Lauren. You’re the most beautiful, kind, accepting woman I’ve ever met and I’d really love for us to give this another try,” he said, his eyes pleading.

I had no idea what to say. I had no idea what to do. Zacky was a real gentleman and was honestly sorry about what had happened between us...but he still did it. Brian could be cold and distant, and he could be strong, quiet and protective, and he could be sweet, charming and cheeky. And I was intrigued by him, unlike Zacky. On top of that, in general, Brian was a lot more attractive, in my eyes, but Zacky seemed more interested. But most of all, I couldn’t believe I was supposed to pick between the two guitarists in one of my newest favourite band.

Luckily, I was able to divert from the conversation when my phone went off; I had three texts; one from Mike, one from Cam and one from an unknown number.

M: While you were off, your shift ended. Don’t worry about it though; I’ll let you off this once after what happened in the garage today; lot’s of lols.

C: Hey, L, just texting to ask where abouts you are; your shift ended a while ago and you aren’t back yet... x

?: hey, wanna hang sometime

I read my texts, replying to them all; I thanked Mike, told Cam to pick me up along the main street and asked who the unknown number was.

I had to lie to Zack; I couldn’t face him after what he’d said. I felt terrible for doing it but I had a billion thoughts racing through my head; Zack or Brian? What was I supposed to do with them? But more prominently, who the fuck had my number? Who was on the end of this mystery number?

I left the coffee shop, apologized to Zack and told him I’d speak to him soon. I let Cam pick me up and took me back to the house. I skipped dinner to have a shower. As soon as I was in the bathroom, I was throwing up. Mainly from the stress of everything going on but also from panicking over who had my number; I’d only given it to 5/6 people and I knew them all. I brushed my teeth and showered before dressing, doing my hair and going to bed for a completely restless sleep.

Notes