Weird Girl

I walked through the party with nothingness in my head, my heart felt like oblivion and my feet felt numb, this is how it always was. I am nobody. No one cares about me and I’m okay with it, I don’t hold attachment to anyone, I just think certain people are interesting, like my best friend, Cassie, she seems like she’s filled with hot air but she knows exactly how to play people, even herself, and her boyfriend who’s loud except when he thinks no one is looking, and him, oh him.

This boy was so infuriating, see his dimpled smile could make any girl swoon, but I wasn’t falling for it, no not me, I was always suspicious of perfect people like him, people who the life of the party, the homecoming kings and queens, never trusted the lot of him. He was interesting, the way he interacted with people, the way he made everything sound interesting. I couldn’t even begin to fathom why I fixated on him, it was quite easy for me to get fixated on people, but it was usually short lived, this wasn’t. He only looked at me with confused eyes; I was nothing to him, just a weird girl with big eyes and a quiet mouth.

The music was blaring; I walked up to Cassie, who looked busy sticking her tongue down Jimmy’s throat. She came up for air long enough to notice I was standing there.
“Hi Sarah! Isn’t this party lovely?” She asked me, grinning.
“You know I don’t like parties Cassie.” I stated, taking a sip from the beer in my hand. Jimmy walked away to talk to some guys, everyone loved him.
“Yeah but you like beer, and music, you just don’t like people.” She stated somberly.
“Yeah so I’m probably gonna get going soon, I have to sneak back into my house before it gets too late.” I stated.
“No you should stay, that way I can give you a ride.” Cassie smiled.
“I’m just going to walk, it’s not that far.” That was kind of a lie, I didn’t even know whose house we were at or how far we were from my house, but I can get home from anywhere so I decided to trust my instincts.
“Yeah right, that’s way too far to walk, and it’s almost midnight Sarah!” She half yelled at me. “I could ask Jimmy if one of his friends could drive you.” She grinned.
“No it’s—“She had run off to ask Jimmy before I could even finish. I gulped down my beer, it made my head feel fuzzy and my heart feel better, so I finished it, it was my 4th. I threw away the bottle and grabbed a cigarette out of my bag, I usually didn’t smoke that often at all, but I had been feeling stressed about school that day, that was the whole reason I was at this stupid party. Jimmy walked up to me just as I was lighting my cigarette, but he was with someone, him.
“Hi I’m Matt.” He flashed a smile at me, putting out his hand for me to shake it. I just looked up at him with wide eyes.
“I know.” I said softly, he looked confused.
“Matt here is apparently the only person who can resist the seductress that is alcohol.” Jimmy said dramatically, I giggled, Matt looked at me surprised, like I had done something so unbelievable. “So he’s gonna drive you home.” Jimmy stated, ruffling my hair as I started making my way towards the exit.
“Okay well tell Cassie I said bye.” I said as I followed Matt out of the house, pushing my way through crowds of people.

When we got outside I couldn’t help but look up to the sky.
“It’s a full moon.” I stated, smiling. I knew he didn’t care but that wouldn’t stop me from noticing. I looked over to him, as we walked out to his car, he just smirked I took a drag from my cigarette before throwing it on the ground and putting out with my foot. He walked up to his car, unlocking it, and opening my door for me.
“Thanks.” I said quietly. His car was a black 1964 Chevelle, in good condition too.
“Nice car.” I said, sliding into the passenger seat.
“Thanks, it was my dad’s.” He said, clearing his throat and starting the car. He leaned over, grabbing his CD’s out of his glove compartment, handing them to me. “Here you pick.” He said as he pulled out of the driveway. I looked though the CD’s silently, I wasn’t much of a talker anyways. “So Sarah right?” He asked, I just nodded. “Where do you live?” He asked me, I couldn’t help but scoff at him; I lived on the same street as him, just 3 houses down.
“Are you serious?” I hissed.
“What?” He shrugged.
“I live on the same street as you.” I sighed, picking a Pantera CD out and sliding it into the CD player
“Ohh yeah… I knew that.” He chuckled uncomfortably. I sighed, putting the rest of the CD’s back in the glove compartment as Cowboys from Hell started playing. I leaned against the window, I was tired and sad and I just wanted to get home. Most of the drive was silent other than the music playing, I was chewing on my lip and shaking my leg nervously, I wanted to get home.
“Um are you okay?” He asked, looking at me with wide eyes.
“Yeah why?” I asked him.
“Because your lip’s bleeding.” He said. I touched my lip, looking at the blood on my hands, smiling.
“Its okay don’t worry.” I assured, he looked at me like I was crazy, he had seen me smile at the fact that I had bit into my lip so much I had caused it to bleed, I didn’t really care, I’d always liked blood.

Before I knew it we had pulled into my driveway.
“Well thanks for the ride, I owe you one.” I smirked, taking off my seatbelt and opening the door, stepping out of the car.
“No problem, here give me your phone” He said, reaching his hand out, I shut the door and leaned through the window to talk to him. I looked at him questioningly for a second but then I just got it out of my pocket and handed it to him. He put his number in it and gave it back to me. “In case you need a ride home again.” He smirked. I smirked back at him as I walked back up to my house, waving him away before I made my way up to my room. I had to climb a tree to get up too my bedroom window, which was exceedingly hard since I was tired and a little drunk. I managed to get up between the sturdiest branches, climbing on to the one closest to my room, and opening my window before stumbling inside, trying not to make so much noise.

I turned on the light, looking at myself in my mirror, my makeup was smudged, my hair was messy and I smelled like cigarettes and beer. So I decided to take a shower, my mother had probably taken sleeping pills so I didn’t have to worry about her getting up. I grabbed a towel and walked to the bathroom, starting the shower. The room started filling up with steam as I started taking off my clothes, I stepped into the shower, feeling goosebumps across my skin as the hot water hit me. I washed my hair and body quickly, my thoughts wandered and I started to feel worthless. I put my face in my hands as the water washed away the soap, I started to cry, this always happened, I’d cry when I was alone, and not tell anyone because I knew no one cared. I stopped myself from crying anymore, turning off the water and stepping out, grabbing my towel.

I walked into my room, still in just a towel. I put on some underwear and an oversized shirt before climbing into bed. I glanced down at my arms, they still had faint white scars, and some new red marks. Everyone had always thought I was strange, my mom, kids at school, Matt, even I did. I felt my eyes fill with tears before I closed my eyes tightly, bringing the blanket over my head and drifting off to sleep.

Notes

Thanks so much for reading! The idea for this story was in my head forever, comment please? :3