People respond to death differently and to ways that heal and comfort them the most. Some people prefer to sleep while others drown their sorrow in alcohol. The first three day after Jimmy’s death Diana was in what could be seen as a zombie like state mixed with heavy booze. She would sit at the piano in her music room and drink until she either passed out or puked. She rejected every comforting advance by everyone including Zacky who in his own way was trying to stay strong for Diana. It was Zacky who pulled together Jimmy’s funeral and made arrangements for everyone.

The night before Jimmy’s funeral Zacky decided to take the bottle away from Diana so she wouldn’t be stumbling into the funeral like a drunken mess. When she was sober that’s when she could feel the loss and the pain the most. She couldn’t drown it out and make it disappear and she hated Zacky for making her feel the pain. The morning of Jimmy’s funeral Diana needed Zacky’s assistance cleaning her up and getting ready. He drove them to the funeral home where the viewing was to take first for close friends and Diana since she was Jimmy’s only family left. When Zacky brought her into the small room before the actual room Jimmy’s casket was she stopped and clung to Zacky.

“I can’t go in there. I can’t see him.”

“Diana I know you will hate me for saying this but you need to go see him. Once the viewing is over they are going to close the casket and you won’t have an opportunity to see him again.”
Diana started to sob into his chest before she felt multiple hands on her back and arms. When she looked up she could see the gang and the twins around her giving her their support. They all came together in a group hug which made Diana cry harder.

“I have something Diana. For all of us.” Matt spoke up and pulled a sharpie out of his pocket and handed it to Zacky.

“Since I’m mister witty and came up with the idea I get to write it on everyone.”

Diana looked at him confused as he grabbed her hand and opened the sharpie and wrote on her hand. One look at the word sent her into another round of tears but this time she felt something more, hope and love. Zacky passed the sharpie around so everyone could write on their hands and when it finished with Brian he handed it back to Matt and he pocketed it.

“I’m ready.”

Brian and Matt moved in front of Zacky and Diana, who had her tightly in his arm next to him, and they opened the door and walked in first leading them down the main walkway. Diana refused to look up from the ground until they stopped walking and when she did she saw Jimmy lying in a black casket. For a split second she couldn’t move but she was able to regain her feet and took the final steps forward to close the gap between her and the casket.

“I love you Jimmy.” She started to cry again and Zacky’s hand was placed on her back. “Now I have to deal with these fools myself.” A chuckle that she thought she could never muster escaped her lips. “I feel like I’ve lost a half of me. I feel like I will never hear the music the same. How am I supposed to do this without you James? But you have to promise me one thing big brother and that’s when you get upstairs you chase all those stallion ducks and play those drums so hard for God so he knows how perfect you are. I love you so much and I always will.” Diana wiped her face with the back of her hand and leaned down and kissed Jimmy one last time on the fore head before she turned back to Zacky and he escorted her back out of the room and to a side room where they sat and cried for the remainder of the viewing.
As for the funeral itself the gang and Diana took up the first two rows followed by an assortment of people filling the rows behind them. The funeral was led by a pastor that did the wedding ceremony for Valarie and Matt and had been a family friend for years. But to Diana the worst part of the whole situation was after the funeral was over and Jimmy had been buried, a plethora of strangers kept coming up to her and offering their condolences on him.

“They either barely knew Jimmy or not at all why won’t they leave me alone?” Diana whispered to Zacky.

“Because it’s what people do. Come on let me take you home.”

Zacky loaded her in the car and drove back to his house. He ushered her up the stairs and helped her into fresh clothes to sleep in.

“Zacky do I have any of my sleeping pills left?”

“Yeah I think there is a few left in the bottle inside your nightstand.”

Diana opened the drawer and found the bottle pouring three into her hand and quickly popping them into her mouth. Diana laid down and curled under the covers as her eyes got heavy she could feel Zacky pushing her bangs out of her face and kissing her temple.

“Zacky?” She slurred.

“Yeah baby?”

“Thank you for everything. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

Diana couldn’t talk anymore as she slipped into sleep with her face resting against the hand that had the word foREVer inked onto it.

Notes