“Are you sure you wanna come? Maybe it’s better if you…” Brian questioned Johnny one last time before drifting off to search for Emily.

“No, man, Lacey is fine, she needs to rest, she doesn’t need me now. I’m worried about Emily as you are, I hope we can find her.” Johnny fixed his seat belt back as Brian was driving to main street, the only place he knew she could go.

“Yeah… me too.” Brian started to look for Jimmy’s Impala by one side of the street. “You look on your side. Let me know if you find anything.”

Brian drove slowly for a few minutes, with every single car behind him honking on his rear. He didn’t care, he didn’t even cursed. All his attention was focused on finding Emily.

“Brian, here, stop.” Johnny called him and he saw the Impala parked in front of the bar she often plays at with her band.



Brian found a spot and parked.

“Do you want me to come inside with you?”

“No, stay here, I’ll go talk to her.” Brian headed straight to the bar entrance.

There wasn’t live music in there this time, just radio echoing old rock tunes. The place wasn’t too crowded but it had dim blue lighting as always, making it difficult to find someone in there. After searching at every spot, he found a hidden corner where a girl was sitting alone. It gotta be her.

Brian stepped closer to the table and the first thing that caught his attention was the half bottle of vodka standing with one glass beside it. Emily had her eyes hidden behind one of her hands, arm elbowing on top of the table.

He didn’t know how to begin. He just sat in front of her and waited, watching her next move. Just as she raised her other hand to reach for the bottle, Brian held it down, letting his fingers land on hers softly. Her hand fell from her face so she could face him promptly.
Her desolated eyes dwelled on his for a few seconds, his hand still clenching hers around the bottle. He wouldn’t let her drink one more sip now.

---

“How’d you find me?” my hand slid down the bottle, running from his grip. As much as I was longing for his touch now, I pushed it back.

“You play here.” his answer was simpler than I had imagined. I was really surprised he was the one showing up for me there. In fact, I wasn’t really waiting for anybody to come after me.

“That predictable, huh? I should’ve known.” I gave out a bland smile and started to play with the empty glass. “And…I used to play here. USED TO.” I could feel my mouth so numb I had to drag a few words. My self-loathing thoughts would certainly be the last ones to become torpid and I hated that.

“What? Why?”

“I got fired from my own band a few days ago. And now… I’m being forced to quit my only job. I must be the luckiest person in the world right now.” yeah, I know, my favorite sport was to feel sorry for myself.

“Wait, wait. You got fired from Darkest Hour? What happened?”

“They liked your friend Scott so much that it even made Brad think I wasn’t coming back so…” I shrugged. “We can’t win every battle, can we?”

“What? He was supposed to cover for you, not steal your job, that asshole. I’m gonna give him a call right now.” he reached for his phone on his pocket and I stretched my right arm to stop him.

“No, Brian, please, don’t. I’m accepting already so… don’t bring this back now. I gotta move on.” I wasn’t moving on, I was feeling defeated actually. As I felt my whole life. It would always find a way of making me lose, no matter what.

“Okay, we can work something out later but… just tell me what happened. Jimmy disappeared, you ran away crying, stole his car. We got worried as hell back there.” Brian used his softest tone. I felt some tears trying to make their ways out but I gulped it just at the thought.

“He simply asked me to quit because of his stupid jealousy. He didn’t care about the fact I need this job to survive now, he gave me an ultimatum. I had to choose between him and the job.” I grabbed the bottle and tumbled it on my glass. Brian didn’t stop me this time, he only watched as I drank it all in one sip. It didn’t even burn me or affected me whatsoever. I just wish the alcohol could make everything disappear, including me.

I was going for another round when he stopped me again, stealing my hand inside his grip without the bottle this time.

“Hey, Em, you had enough, okay? You already gonna have the worst hangover by tomorrow so…” he closed the bottle with the other hand without never letting go of mine. It felt so comforting, so right. “I’m gonna talk to him and solve this, okay? You won’t lose your job, you won’t… lose him either, I promise you.” he said it slowly, gazing deeply at me. I felt more inebriated freefalling inside his eyes. I had to shook my head to concentrate.

Damn it, why does he make me feel this way every time? I’m always having doubts about my feelings when he’s around me. I couldn’t blame Jimmy for being jealous. I wasn’t able to hide my attraction for Brian any longer. It has to stop now. I made a choice and I gotta stick to it.

“No, Brian, Jimmy’s right and you know it. We can’t keep playing this game, ignoring our feelings and pretending they don’t exist. Cause they do.” he lowered his gaze to our entwined hands and his face grew darker. “We are hurting him.” I was a bit hammered but I knew what I was talking about.

“And what about us, our friendship? Isn’t that important too?” his eyes saddened when back to face mine. I slipped my hand off of his again. One of the hardest things I had to do.

“Of course it is. But I clearly have to make a choice here. In fact… I already made it a long time ago. I need to stay away from you now. It’ll be better this way.” I rose from my chair with my heart beating fast on my neck, my tears finally escaping. To push him away hurt more than I thought it would. “Sorry, Bri.”

“What about the kiss we’ve shared? It didn’t mean anything to you at all?” I thought I saw water forming on his eyes but I was probably imagining things. My eyes closed automatically at the warm recollection of his lips wrapping into mine. More tears formed in my eyes and I had to get away from there before I would change my mind.

“I gotta go.” I took a few dollars out of my pocket and let it fall on the table.
Passed through a few people before finally stepping out, breathing fresh air with relief sighs. My walking was unsteady so when a hand reached me, I almost fell to my side.

“Wait, Emily, you can’t drive like this. I’m taking you home.” Brian was right beside me again. What part of stay away from me he didn’t understand?

“I’m fine, really. I can drive.”

“No, you can’t drive, you took half a bottle of vodka. This is way more than you can take. Give me the keys.” he showed his hand to me.

“What? No, Haner, leave me alone, okay? I gotta go out to think, I don’t wanna go home.” He still had his hand holding my arm. He was starting to piss me off now.

“Okay, so I’ll drive you wherever you wanna go.” Fuck, you are not making this any easier, Brian!!

“Let me go, please.” I tried to disentangle from his grip but he just wouldn’t let go.

“I won’t let you get inside that car drunk like that.” Brian insisted exalted as Johnny appeared out of nowhere from across the street.

“What’s going on here?” he asked.

“Okay, Johnny can take me home. Is that okay for you now?” he let go of my arm finally.

“Fine for me. Give him the keys.”

“Ohh, the demanding Brian has finally appeared again. I was starting to miss him!” I tried to mock him but I could see he was as uptight as I was now. “I’ll drive.” I walked to the left door of the Impala, opened it and got inside.

“What? No, not a chance. Get out! Look at you, you can’t even stand up straight.”

“You’re being offensive now. You’re making things easier for me, in fact.” I turned the car on and made its engines roar just like a distorted guitar. That thing Jimmy owns was as powerful and noisy as Brian’s guitars.

“Johnny, go with her, and try to make some sense on her stupid brain to give you the wheel, please.”

“C’mon, Emily, I can smell booze from here, let me steer it.” Johnny sat on the passenger seat and asked one more time before I took off.

“No way, I’m having my fun with this baby here tonight. Let’s go for a ride.” I just wanted to vent my madness on a large California road now.

---

The only thing Brian could see after the smoke coming out of the screeching tires was her middle finger being showed to him on the car window.
He was having a bad feeling about this and didn’t think twice. He got inside his car and went after them.

---

“Ohh, are you scared, my little JC.” my laugh was hard and loud, exceeding the high volume of an Avenged Sevenfold song bursting on the car stereo as I noticed Johnny’s hands getting a strong grip of the hand rest on the door. I had to accelerate a bit more just to see if I could make him piss on his pants. Jimmy would love to clean up that nice gift from his friend later.

Was I feeling vengeful? No, not at all.

“Yeah, you are definitely scaring the hell out of me, Emily. Slow down, please.”

“What song is that? Is it new? Why Jimmy didn’t show it to me before? It’s insane!” I was really excited about that song, the pace was frantically fast.

“It doesn’t have a name yet, Matt is still finishing the lyrics. Would you please slow down, now? I was hoping I could get home safe tonight, if you care.” Well, Johnny was really ruining my fun now so why not push him a little more into his heart limits?

At every street, I waited for the red light to appear to go further. I did that a few times before he could figure out my game. I sped off at every red light I could find in my way. It was late anyway, the streets were empty.

“What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to get us killed or something?” Johnny shouted this time looking at both sides of the streets, I had to laugh even louder. Yeah, that’s right, it was funny to scare him off like this.

But I don’t know why the hell my brain made sure to bring back a few unwanted memories after I accelerated the car again, being the biggest buzzkill I could ever wish for. I remembered why I didn’t drive that often. I was afraid I could end up dead just like my parents with only one tiny difference: I was the one drunk behind the wheel. And as much as I wish to die sometimes, I didn’t want it to happen before the best day of my life.

Did I?

‘If I was perfect then this would be easy
Either road is plausible on both I could drown
I walk through the center with no rules to guide me
I realize it's difficult but now I can see’

For my surprise, Brian appeared on my side, with his BMW.

“Are you out of your fucking mind? You crossed every fucking red light until here. PULL OVER! NOW!” I’ve never seen him act more worried than now, pointing his index finger insistently. Not a barrier for me actually.

“You’re not my boss. Not anymore…” I laughed more and stepped further into the accelerator. Brian was totally past me now.

“For Christ sake, STOP THE CAR EMILY!” Johnny had really lost his temper now, as my right ear suffered enough from his loud scream.

“Maybe for your sake and not for the guy up there cause he’s not my favorite person right now.” I stopped the car in the middle of the street, so abruptly Johnny even slid forward on his seat. I looked through the mirror and saw Brian’s car stopping behind me as he was ready to get out of the car.

“Get out, NOW!” I knew how to shout too. Even more when I was drunk. I wasn’t thrilled anymore, I was angry now.

“NO, I WON’T GET OUT! If you wanna take your life you should do it all alone. I won’t let you drag innocent lives that might cross your path with you here. So, chill out, take a deep breath and…”

“FINE!” I accelerated again in a jolt, million things going through my mind. “Do you feel like dying today, Christ? Cause I can feel it in my veins already…” I had a vicious smile stamped on my lips, heading to the next way out to the closest highway I knew.

My head started to spin but I ignored it. Now I only had one thought in my mind: why don’t we just finish what God should’ve never started in the first place?

No more Jimmy, no more Brian, no more stupid life beating my ass off, no more suffering.

“You won’t do this with me here. You’re gonna take a father away from his still unborn baby? Are you that wicked, Emily?” Johnny was staring at me, I could feel his giant eyes trying to convince me to stop. I was totally dazed, didn’t even think about Johnny and his life, his family.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? – My foot wasn’t pulling away from the accelerator though Lacey’s smile appeared in my mind to haunt me.

‘You're a sin, you're a sin, you're a sinner.’ - Jimmy’s scream in the background made me feel disgusted with myself.

I still couldn’t answer him. Almost reaching the highway. I could see a crossroad before the entrance. I wouldn’t back out now.

‘Climb up from the bottom for the last time,
The last one, the last one, the last time’

Brian’s furious solo was filling my head with more suicidal thoughts. I always wanted to die with a background song like that. I didn’t even notice the tears blurring my vision.
I wouldn’t back out!

“What if I’m that perverse, you don’t fucking know me! I WANNA DIE!!” as I finished my scream, I felt Johnny’s hands trying to take the wheel from me.

We fought a few seconds for the car control in the middle of the crossing streets when we both saw a bright huge light coming at our direction.

“WATCH OUT!” Johnny yelled. My hands turned the wheel to the right side with all the strength and speed I still had to divert from the truck.

A tree was waiting for us there instead. We hit it hard.

As they say: careful what you wish for.

Notes

muhahahaha xD

tiny cliffhanger?? =p

remember I said I was gonna make a good use of johnny's character here?? so here it is! *running to hide in the hills*