Love Lost

{Zack’s POV}

I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache, only to be expected after the amount of alcohol I drank last night. I turned over in bed, not recalling how I had even got there, to see my beautiful wife laying beside me. Her eyes were open and she was her usual smiley self as she noticed me awake.
“Good morning.” She mumbled to me as she moved a piece of hair out of her eye.
“Good morning, beautiful.” I murmured back, my voice still thick with sleep and slightly horse, meaning I probably ended up screaming along to some metal tracks last night. She giggled at my voice and pressed a kiss to my cheek before she sat up.
“C’mon, babe, I think Val’s made pancakes for everyone.”
I smiled excitedly, pancakes were the cure for every person’s hangovers on this bus, strange but a perfect thing to have. I gave Gena a quick kiss on the cheek, getting out of the bed and wandering into the bathroom to have a morning pee and brush my teeth. Gena must have already been up for hours because her toothbrush was still damp and the bathroom was spotless, she cleans when everyone is asleep so she has something to do. I scratched my temple as I thought about last night, remembering only brief moments when I was smashing my guitar with Gates, our parties always end up like that.

I chuckled to myself as I walked out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but my sweatpants as I wandered towards the table. I sat down on one of the seats beside Matt, looking over to see Gena sitting on the sofa with Kim as they glanced over a magazine. Val set down a plate of pancakes for me, which I immediately began to devour after thanking her for them. I heard Gena’s voice all of a sudden, smiling as I looked over at her.
“So, how was last night?” She had asked everyone, I froze… Brian had begun telling her about our guitar smashing incident while a flashback flooded through my mind.
It was me… In one of the deserted bathrooms, I was starting to remember something. I had a blonde woman up against the wall, I was fucking her so hard I was afraid I would break the wall somehow. I started thinking it was Gena, and that she had come out for a quick sex session before she got to bed… That was until I saw the face in my flashback. It wasn’t Gena at all, it was one of those groupies from last night. What was her name again? Scarlett? No, that was the repulsive one… It was Meaghan. Guilt and shame flowed through my veins as I swallowed a lump in my throat, I tried to recollect my thoughts as I noticed everyone was staring at me as if they were waiting for something.
“What?” I asked, letting no emotion seep into my voice as I maintained the smile. Gena merely smiled back and responded.
“I said, did you have a good time?”
What was I supposed to say to that? Of course I didn’t, I was unfaithful to the love of my life. But I couldn’t let her know that, I had to do the one thing I promised never to do… Lie.
“Yeah, a great time from what I remember of it.” I chuckled, the nerves managing to hold themselves back as everyone chuckled along with me. I resisted the urge to wipe my forehead, although the guilt was stacking up as I kept up the lie. The twins mentioned the groupies that came out to party with us, Gena has twisted her face slightly… She knew what they were after too. The worst thing is, I gave it to one of them. I gave them exactly what they wanted. And it was the biggest mistake I had ever made.

I excused myself as I finished eating, walking into the bathroom again and switching the shower on. Once I had stripped, I stood under the water for what seemed like hours. Replaying the scenario in my head over and over again. I couldn’t believe what I had done, only when I heard Johnny knocking on the door because he had to pee did I pull myself together and get back out of the shower. I quickly got dressed and opened the door, he was about to just run in but he made the mistake of looking at my face first.
“Zack? What’s wrong?” He quirked an eyebrow, seeming confused about why I would be upset.
“Nothing, man, the hangovers starting to wear off but its still a bitch.” I smiled at him, he seemed to buy my story and quickly locked the bathroom behind him. Poor guy, I must have kept him waiting for ages.
When I walked back out to where everyone was, I noticed only a few people there. It seemed everyone besides Arin, Brian, Johnny, Matt and Gena had gone out.
“Where is everyone?” I wondered aloud, Brian quickly responded to my question though.
“The girls have gone shopping, we’ve already made it to our next destination so if you want to go and join them in choosing sexy underwear, im sure you’re more than welcome.” He snickered as he finished his sentence, I rolled my eyes and flicked his head before sitting beside Gena.

“Why didn’t you go with them, babe?” I wanted to hold her hand, but I was disgusted with myself, I felt like I had no right to even touch her anymore.
“I don’t feel great, I don’t want to ruin a shopping trip.” She smiled, she always smiles. Through everything. She’s been throwing up for two weeks now and she still manages to keep that beautiful smile on her face.
Wait a moment… She’s been throwing up for two weeks. Surely that isn’t normal, I couldn’t hold back the worried expression on my face as I looked at her. For once, her smile faltered. She took in my expression and furrowed her eyebrows.
“What is it?” She started to play with her hair nervously, the guys all looked over at me as she spoke, and Johnny had now rejoined us.
“You’ve been throwing up for quite a while Gena…” I began talking, something clicked in my mind and my jaw dropped slightly. “What if you’re pregnant?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking, although I probably shouldn’t have in front of everyone.
She looked just as shocked, looking around the room for a moment before her eyes locked with mine again.
“I could… I don’t know… I…” She was lost for words, as was everybody else. She stood up for a moment and walked over to the small room we were sleeping in before emerging with something in her hand. She started heading towards the bathroom.
“What’s that?” Matt had asked before I got the chance to.
“A test, I always keep one… You never know when someone needs it.” She nodded her head and proceeded into the bathroom, all I could do was watch the door while she was in there.
I could feel the guys looking at me, but I had nothing to say right now. Did I get my wife pregnant? It would be great if I had… Except… I would have gotten the woman I cheated on pregnant. It was only adding to the guilt that was boiling in my blood. These thoughts kept whirling around my brain for the next five minutes before Gena emerged from the bathroom, she had a smile on her face again. Did this mean it was a false alarm? Or was she pregnant and happy? I couldn’t tell.
She held up the test to show me and there it was… The little pink plus. I could tell she was waiting for my reaction so I had to fake it, I stood up and smiled as I wrapped my arms around her. The guys cheered quietly as the girls had entered the bus just in time to see the announcement.
“What’s going on?” Michelle asked as she walked over to give Brian a hello kiss.
“I’m pregnant.” Gena spun around, letting the girls embrace her with hugs as Brian patted my back as if to say “well done.”

I didn’t pay much attention as they all fussed over Gena, but the girls took her through to Val’s room so they could have a girlie chat. Brian went out for a cigarette, and after all of this… I needed one too. I walked outside, closing the door behind me and leaning against the bus beside Brian as I lit up a cigarette and took a long drag, closing my eyes.
“Zack… What’s wrong? You’re not happy?” I opened my eyes again to find him looking at me with concern, I couldn’t do it… I had to tell someone.
“I did a bad thing, Brian… A very bad thing…”
His eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t say anything as he waited for me to continue.
“I was drunk last night, I didn’t remember a thing until we were eating breakfast. But… Brian… I slept with Meaghan.”
His face resembled something like the incredible hulk when he got angry, I was preparing myself to step back so I could duck a punch. But the punch never came.
“Are you crazy? You slept with a groupie?” His hushed voice was thick with rage as he pushed my shoulder, our Avenged family was tighter than ever. We all loved one another deeply and I could tell he was being protective over Gena as we had this conversation.
“I was drunk, it was the biggest mistake I ever made and I cant even… I don’t know why it happened.” I was almost reduced to tears at this point, which he picked up on. His rage seized, he couldn’t be mad at me, especially when I was so upset over it myself. He wrapped his arms around me in a brotherly hug and sighed.
“We cant tell her, its going to break her.” He whispered, shaking his head against my shoulder.
“I know. We’ve got a baby to think about now.”

Notes