Desire of the Soul

Brian’s POV

My legs collapsed. I felt dizzy and sick. I don’t want to hear the next words, I don’t want hear it, damn it! “Hey, is everything okay?” the doctor asked me and grabbed my arm to steady me.
Suddenly the other boys were holding on to my arms to prevent my fall.
“I can’t tell you anything more now. The next 24 hours will be decided of her life.”
“That’s means.. That’s means that she will live?!” I asked the doctor and he nodded, “Yes, she will live, but her heart is really weak. She has a lot of internal and external injuries. She may have damage a brain but now I really can’t tell anything else, we have to wait.”
I didn’t hear what else he said. I just started cry and fall to the floor again. No, this can’t be true.
It just can’t be true. She must live. We should have our wedding tomorrow?!
It’s just a joke, yeah? It’s only a dream? Yeah, for sure, this can’t be really…
It’s one of these bad dreams, but I don’t care, in a few seconds I will wake up next to my Ana and just kissed her lips to wake her up as well.
I closed my eyes, and opened them. Closed them again and opened them. I hit my face with a hand to wake me up, but still I was on the same place. And the same pain was squeezing my heart, with the same thoughts in my head. It was true.
It was really possible that I could never see my Ana again and it was the worst thought I ever had. “You should go to home, to sleep, to shower, or whatever” Jimmy said and gave me coffee.
“No way, I must be here… maybe she will wake up… I will stay with her..”
“Okay.. I will go and bring Amanda home and next I'll take care of the cancellation of the wedding, so you don’t have to worry about this, alright?!”
To be honest, I forgot about it. I couldn’t form a rational thought.
“Thank you” I hugged him tight.
“Should I call Ana’s parents? They should know what happened...” Kate asked and stood next to me now. Yes, that was another thing I forgot about and I just nodded at her.
“We will go home, too. Call us if you have some news or need us, we will come immediately!” Matt clapped me on the shoulder and Val hugged me as well.
“C’mon Romy, I’ll bring you home” Matt looked at his little sister.
“No.. I will stay here with Brian.” Romy replied stubbornly and sat down next to me.
“You should take a rest” Zacky said to her and looked at her with concern. He still cared for her. He still loved her, I knew it. And I wanted to say to them that they should get back together, that they cannot lose time, because just now with Ana’s accident you never know how many time you have left… but I just don’t have the strength to talk.
“I am staying.” she said finally.
Everyone said their goodbyes and Zacky reluctantly left as well.
Romy put his head on my shoulder and I’m sure that she was crying again.
“She will be fine. She will live” she said quietly, more for herself then for me.
“She will live” I repeated, “She is strong.” Romy looked at me, “Brian, she loves you. She will fight just for you. I know it”
I felt tears in my eyes. I hope that she will live, for me, please..
“ There is one more thing I should tell you” she started, “ the last words what she said, actually she cried it, before.. Before the car hit her was ‘ I love you, Brian’”
I started to cry even more. Oh my Ana, my little Ana.. Why?! Why!
She had suffered enough in her short life?! Can’t she just be happy?
God! Why would you do that ?! Please, help me, help us.
I don’t know how long I was just sitting there. Romy fell asleep on my shoulder.
I saw a nurse coming towards me. I suddenly stood up. Is she awake?!
“The patient was transferred to the post-operative room”
“Oh, can I see her?!” I was so nervous, please let me see her, please.
“Just for few minutes, she needs to rest right now” she said.
“ Come on, I’ll take you to her.”
I followed close behind couldn’t wait to see my Ana.
My hands start to shake when I realize that I will see Ana. How will she looks now?
How I’ll react?! The nurse opened the door and I saw a big bed in the middle of the room.
Around the bed were a lot of different devices plugged into her body.
I heard loud beeping sound, which must be the sound of her heart.
Her heart was beating and it was the most important thing.
I went one step closer and finally I saw her. She was lying so still and looks like she was just asleep. She looks so helpless... All I wanted was to hold her in my arms. I sat in the chair next to her bed and very carefully put my hand on hers and gently stroke her palm with my thumb.
Her entire body was full of bruises and cuts, one of her legs was in cast.
“Oh Ana” I whispered.
I put my head next to her shoulder. “I love you, come back to me. I need you.”
I don’t know when but my tears started to fall again.
Damn, I haven’t cried that much in my entire life.
“You shouldn’t be lying here now. You should be stay at the altar with your beautiful dress and finally say “I do” and livehappily with me forever. You promised me to never leave me again, do you remember?!”
Suddenly I heard a loud sound of one of the machines and I stood up fast and look wildly around, what happened!?
Another nurse ran towards Ana’s bed.
“What happened?” I asked anxiously.
“Don’t worry. Her heart just started to beat faster.”
“What does that mean?” Couldn’t she just fucking say what’s going on, damn it!
“Maybe she heard your voice and wanted to respond”, she smiled at me.
“I’m here baby, I will always be by your side.” I whispered.
“How long she will she sleep?” I asked the nurse.
“I don’t know. She’s in a coma, now. Perhaps she will wake up in a few hours, but maybe in a few days or weeks. The important thing is that her brain is recovering and working properly again.”
“And what’s going on with the other injuries? The doctor said that she had many internal injuries..” “Yes, but I really can’t tell you more. We must wait… When there is something new, I promise that the doctor will talk with you.”
I nodded at her.
“But now, you should go, she needs her rest”, the nurse nodded towards the door.
“Okay, I’ll be back soon, baby”, I said to Ana and kissed her forehead.
When I went out I saw Ana’s parents standing next to the door.
I wiped my tears away and Romy comes running towars me, “And what?!Did you see her?!”
“Yes..” I started, but Ana’s Mom comes to me as well and her Dad stayed back and looked… I don’t know, angry maybe…?!
“Brian..”Ana’s mother started
“What happened to her? Kate said something about an accident and everything but nothing more”
I told her everything that I knew and she started to cry.
Her Dad was still standing a little behind and was just watching me, as if it was my fault.
Damn, what an asshole!
“I’m so sorry” , Ana’s mom hugged me
“She is gonna be fine”
“Yes, I know it. She must be.” I said to her. I had to believe that.
“Can we see her?”, for the first time I heard his voice and he was not yelling.
“The nurse told me that she must rest now and that when they will bring her to another room we can see her longer, but now it’s not possible.” Her father just nodded. Damn, I thought that he will start to scream again, something like that. Maybe even that I was allowed to see her and they couldn’t, but he just sat down and covered his face with hands. Maybe this man has a heart at least?
“Maybe you want to go home, I can stay here, and…”
“No, thanks. I will stay here. Here is my place to be.”
“I need to go home.. at least until tomorrow…” Romy said, she still had the tape on her head, yes she should rest as well.
“I’ll call all the guys and tell them what we know. And Jimmy said that he will be back soon, when he settled everything with the wedding. I’ll be back here later, too. Call us if she will wake up, okay?” Romy said to me and I nodded, “Of course, I will.”
She hugged me tight, “Hold on, Brian.” she whispered to my ear.
“Thank you Romy, for everything”
“We will go, too. And come back tomorrow… Can you call us, too, if there is anything new?! You still have my number, right?”
“Yes, I have it and I will call you.” I replied and was a little surprised.
“Okay, see you tomorrow.” Her Mom hugged me again.
“Maybe we can bring you home?” Ana’s Dad asked Romy.
Who was this guy? And where was Ana’s real Dad? Romy looked as shocked as me but nodded.
They went out and I’m stayed alone at the hospital with my head full of thoughts.

Romy’s POV

I walked towards my home, I still felt a little dizzy… I had slept at the hospital but that was not really refreshing and my head still hurts. I went inside and saw Ana’s wedding dress lying on my couch. I couldn’t believe it… She has to live… she cannot die… I felt hot tears running down my cheeks again and I let myself drop onto the couch.
She should marry and have her happy ever after now… not being fighting for her life in that hospital bed. And Brian… I can’t even think about Brian… I felt so bad… he was so strong, staying there day and night and being there for her.
After another hour of crying I lay on my bed I felt so alone… and I couldn’t sleep…
I called the first person that came to my head, Zacky.
“Romy?” Zack sounded nervous.
“Can I… can we talk? I…” I sobbed again.
“Sure, babe… I will be there in 5., wait for me.”
It took him not long and then he was at my door. When I saw him I felt relieved, I just needed him right now.
“I know… its weird, but you were the first person that came to my mind, okay? I just… I can’t sleep and I feel dizzy..”
“Your head, does it still hurt? Should I bring you to a doctor?! You can always call me, Romy. I am there for you, no matter what is going on between us, okay?!”
“Thank you, Zack.”
He sat down on the couch next to me and pulled me into his body. He kissed my forehead and I felt safe.

Notes

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