Brian's Letters To Matthew

“Higher! Zacky! Higher!”

Mattie laughs and giggles as his big brother pushes him on the swing at the local park. Jimmy smiles as he watches the Baker Brothers. Johnny, sitting next to Jimmy on the park bench, is eating a big pretzel with cheese.
“So how would you feel if you found that you could get pregnant like women can?” Johnny asks after he swallows his bite of pretzel.
“I don’t know,” Johnny answers, “I remember when my mom was pregnant with my sisters. I thought it was so cool to have another life inside of her. To be able to create a life, ya know?”
Johnny nods as he dips his pretzel in the cheese sauce, “I don’t think I could handle it. I mean being pregnant. I like kids, but me being pregnant… I don’t know.”

Jimmy turns to see Mattie jumping high off the swing and into Zacky’s arms. Both laughing and giggling.
“Zacky?” Mattie asks, “I’m hungry. Can I get something to eat?”
“Sure thing Buddy,” Zacky answers, “I’ll make you a grilled cheese when we get home.”
“Yay!” Mattie cheers with his fists in the air.
Zacky chuckles as he carries Mattie to the others. Jimmy couldn’t help but think about when he and Zacky have kids… he’s so in love with Zacky.

“Let’s get going,” said Zacky, “Mattie’s getting hungry.”
“I’m full,” Johnny says once he finishes the last bite of his pretzel.
“Not all of us had a pretzel silly Johnny,” Mattie replies, “Oh! Zacky can read from the journal too.”
“Yeah!” Jimmy cheers, jumping up.
“Let’s go!” Mattie exclaims.

---x---

Mattie dunks his triangle of grilled cheese in his tomato soup. Zacky comes into the kitchen, with the journal, and sits down at the table.


Dear Matthew,

It was a week before St. Patrick’s Day. We finally got to see each other when it wasn’t a holiday. Going to different high schools is hard, but as you know, we managed.

Laying on towels as we’re at the beach. Sunsets on Huntington Beach are so beautiful. When it got dark and people left, that’s when more fun began.

---x---

“Mattie go play your video games,” said Zacky.
“You always do that,” Mattie whines, “It gets to a part and you make me leave and you say that I don’t miss anything. I think I do. I think I miss stuff. Why can’t I hear it?”
“Because you’re too young,” Zacky answers, “This stuff has some things that are for older people.”

“Is it smoking?”
“No.”
“Drugs?”
“No.”
“Drinking?”
“No.”
“So it’s sex?”
“What?! No!” Zacky clears his throat, “How do you know about sex? WHAT do you know about sex?”
“I hear stuff from tv,” Mattie answers, “There’s also stuff on the streets. It’s, like, everywhere.”
Johnny and Jimmy look at Zacky and nod.
“Plus I know its sex because you squeak and freak out when you lying,” said Mattie.
“You do Babe,” said Jimmy, “Like when you tried lying to your parents about sneaking out last year’s homecoming weekend.”
Zacky takes a deep breath, then looks at Mattie, “Do NOT tell Mom and Dad.”
Mattie nods his head as he takes a bite of his sandwich.
Zacky takes another deep breath, “Okay.”

---x---

We roll around in the sand, kissing and laughing. We were only in our swimming trunks but you held onto me and we kept each other warm. Waves coming ashore would hit our legs. The moment was so perfect for the two of us. The part I didn’t like was when the police officer had us pack us and leave because it was close to the stupid town curfew. You made it better by taking me to your house and we took a shower to wash away the sand. Good thing your parents weren’t home, you had me making so much noise. We get better and better at our love making, but that’s probably what happens when we had our hormones get the best of us. You know as well as I do, it didn’t stop in the shower. I remember the bedroom, living room, kitchen floor, pool side, the hot tub, and even when we put a load of clothes in the washing machine. Many people would have thought we’re a couple of horn dogs or something. I always thought we were in love. Unfortunately we had to stop because we ran out of condoms.

We restocked just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. Being that you can be a bit cheesy, you got green condoms for the holiday. I still loved you anyway.

Another thing I can remember is that you were always the perfect cuddlier.

With all my love,
Brian

Notes

Thoughts????