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Mibba

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Seize The Day or Die Regretting.

Chapter 19: Crucify Me

7 months later. . .
~Heater~
I lay in the bed. I gave in and stayed at Brian’s house. He made me sleep in his bed, even though there is a guest bedroom with a perfectly good bed just down the hall. I could hear the crickets chirping away outside. The children have long gone to bed. The cars came down the street less frequently. I could hear Brian watching TV down the hall. I had tried to sleep but I was far too nervous. I could feel the cool breeze coming in from the open window. I sank into the bed; the soft bedding fell underneath me. I loved the way the cotton felt under my skin. I also rather enjoyed the smell I got from the bedding. It was intoxicating, like a drug that you can’t live without.
I heard the house phone ring loudly, instantly it stopped and I heard Brian’s voice clearly. He picked up so fast because he didn’t want me to wake up. I smiled to myself at that thought. But it was wiped from my face when I over heard the conversation rather clearly, well one side of the conversation.
“Hello?” Brian greeted as if he knew exactly who he was talking too. The tone of his voice was strict but friendly. But then it held lots of venom in it.
“I told you, I’m out. I’m going to get a job, a real job.” He spat harshly.
“Why, because I want an apple pie life. I want to settle down, get married and maybe have a kid or two. So I’m out.” He growled. That was when the conversation was in low mumbles, I couldn’t hear anything. Nor did I want too. What the hell was he talking about?
My heart raced as I heard footsteps pat their way quietly down the hall way. I closed my eyes and pretended I was asleep so he wouldn’t complain about it. I heard the door knob turn carefully until it unlatched. The door squeaked open. I was sunk into the pillows, my limbs loose and noodle like. I heard the foot steps come over to the side of the bed; a warm hand touched my cold shoulder.
“Heather, rise and shine.” He whispered quietly. My eyes opened tiredly to see nothing but black. I stretched out on the bed as I faced the way I heard the voice come from.
“What time is it?” I asked with a weary voice. I heard the alarm clock slid a little bit then drop down with a thump only plastic can make.
“It’s just after eleven.” He replied softly. I nodded and tossed the blankets off of me. Brian protested against me making his bed again but it wouldn’t sit right with me if I didn’t make his bed. I also got ready, like brushing my hair, tying it up in a bun and brushing my teeth. I was going to go the hospital in a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt with a pair of slippers so I was comfortable.
My heart was fluttering with excitement and joy. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach nervously. I could feel the amount of nervousness radiating off him as well. I was told to sit on the couch and wait for him to finished panicking and running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I could hear his quick and heavy footsteps roaming the halls, shutting things off and making sure I had everything in my bag. I was going to be spending a few days in the hospital so they can keep an eye on me. (Pun intended)
I stayed seated quietly; my eyes were barely able to stay open. I really wish I had gotten some sleep now. This is going to be a long night.
“C’mon you’re taking forever.” I called out for him.
“I’m coming, hang on.” He called back to me. I smiled and shook my head.
“What are you? A woman?” I called back to him with a cheeky smile. I knew that would get him moving a bit quicker. He hates it when I call him a woman. But I don’t do it often. I only call him a chick when he’s taking forever to do something or if he can’t decide what to wear. I heard his hardy laugh as he came into the living room. I felt his hand wrap around my arm, his flesh was hot and sweaty with nervousness. He pulled me to my feet and guided me through the house.
The cool night air made Goosebumps rise on my skin, it might be cool now but when the sun comes up it’s going to be hot. Today the temperature is supposed to reach 40 degrees calculus. That’s really hot but I’ve survived through warmer. I heard the car door open. I was guided to the seat, his sweaty palm on the top of my head, making sure I didn’t hit my head. I smiled widely as the door closed. My bag sat between my feet. I strapped the seat belt in and waited for Brian to come around. The door opened, allowing the chilled air to flow into the car. I heard him groan loudly.
“Brian?” I asked softly. My voice barely noticeable over the roar of the engine.
“Yeah?” He replied with a gruff tone. I smiled widely and raised my eye brows.
“Is this really happening?” My question has stayed the same for the whole week, is this really happening? Twenty-four years of being blind and I’m might be able to see again. I might be able to watch a sun rise or the rain. I might be able to see what every body looks like. I’ve got these metal pictures of what every body looks like but that is just imaginary. I could be very, very far off. Twenty-four years of darkness, a black that seemed to never end.
“Yeah it is, better get used to the feeling.” Brian replied with a lively tone. His happiness and excitement bounced off his skin and landed on me, making everything seem like a dream; like it isn’t real. But it was real and that’s what made it scary. It’s a thrilling fear the pulsed through my veins.
“Twenty-four years and I might be able to see you, finally.” I said with a smirk. I heard him laugh away the nerves.
“You scared?” He asked. I had to think about that, I was happy, excited, and nervous. I was trapped in this surreal feeling of a thrilling fear but was I scared? I guess I’d have to say yes, because this could go terribly wrong. There are possibilities that I may never see again or I might die. I might never be with my friends and family ever again. The butterflies fluttered wings of razors in my stomach. I could feel my heart pick up speed.
“Yes. I am.” I whispered sullenly, trying to hide my emotions. I hated the feeling of fear. But when he’s by my side I don’t need to worry about fear. If I do die today, I’m glad I spent my last moments alive with him.
“Can I tell you something?” I asked softly. He cleared his throat abruptly and turned down the radio. I smiled nervously at my question
“Sure, anything.” He responded quickly. My nervous smile faded away slowly. I swallowed hard and pondered if this was right. What if I do die today? He’ll never know how I really feel about him. He’ll never know my feelings towards him. But if I don’t die things might be ruined for us. Twenty-five years of friendship down the toilet. I can do this.
“When I was thirteen I had the hugest crush on you, ever.” I announced with a light tone. Keeping the tone of voice light and calm is the best way to break news to someone. I heard him shift in his seat slightly.
“Can I tell you two things?” He asked softly. I nodded and exhaled the breath I kept locked inside my lungs unknowingly.
“Anything.” I responded with a calm voice.
“I already knew that, you didn’t really hide it. Still don’t. Everybody can see you light up when I’m near. I also know you still do.” He announced. My stomach twisted nervously. He knew? He knew?! Wait! He knows I still like him? I felt stupid now, shamed. I couldn’t bear live with myself knowing this. I faked a smile and pulled my eye brows together.
“What’s the second thing?” I muttered. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. He was trying to put his thoughts into words. I waited in silence patiently. He sighed deeply.
“I feel the same way.” He added words that sent me flying through the night sky like a firework. I felt free and happy like anything is possible. There is so much in life I haven’t experience yet and this, this moment right here; being told someone likes me the way I like them. It’s a first for me. It’s a beautiful feeling. I smiled widely and blushed uncontrollably.
“Okay, I must be asleep now. There is no way that you just said that.” I said shaking it off as a dream. It had to be a dream, this can’t be real. I’m getting my sight back and the boy I’ve been crushing on for nearly seventeen years likes me as well.
“Remember earlier today at the coffee shop?” He asked softly. I nodded.
“Remember how I said I just found the feelings for the smart, pretty girl who I’ve known for a long time?” His voice had so much confidence in it, I’m amazed by this. I nodded carefully, staying quiet. My heart was bounding around inside of me while an excited feeling filled my stomach.
“I was talking about you. A few weeks ago I was thinking about my relationships and how bad they’ve been. Then I remembered all we’ve been through. We’ve been at each others’ sides since we were four. That’s when I figured it out. I wasn’t able to find love because I already found it.” He uttered with a light voice. I felt a tear run down my face. This was actually happening. I never thought I’d get to have a prince charming like all the other girls. I never thought he’d feel the same for me. It’s a nice feeling to be cared for.

I’ve asked myself this over and over since Brian got arrested, why did I ever love him or why would he do such a thing? Then I remember I’ve loved him for so long, even before I found out about his habits. I loved him because he treated me like I was the only girl on planet earth, especially when he was with me. He said I deserved so much more than what I got. Now I understand that he was doing those things because he loved me, he wanted me to be the royalty he thought I was. The only problem was when I had that surgery; my eyes were opened in so many ways apart from the truth. I let the actions speak louder than his words. He gave up his nice big house to live in a small apartment with me, now I didn’t notice it at the time but we were getting by just fine. Neither of us needed to put in extra hours at work or stress ourselves out because we made a little problem so much bigger than what it really was.
This morning I went to the bank to close his account, he got five years in prison then he’s out. Brian told me to cancel his credit cards and close his bank accounts. I did, he told me to transfer whatever money there was in his bank into mine. When I was in the bank and doing the transfer there was almost two hundred thousand dollars in his bank with a sticky note attached saying ‘for Heather and our child, in case of emergency’ He put away that much money for us in case we got into trouble, he didn’t put his name and then our names, he specifically said it was for me and our child only.
When he was arrested I thought he did it because he hated me for some reason but now I know he loved me. He loved me more than anything in the entire world. And I know he loves our daughter, who I named Briana Hope Haner. She looks just like him and sadly he didn’t get to see her being born. I tried to get the warden to let him out for the birth, I barely gave him the option; it was either he came to the hospital or I had the baby in his cell. He was not missing it. But he did. He missed seeing her sit up on her own and start to crawl. I’ve taken her to see him and the warden has given his some special access for good behaviour, we get to meet in a controlled environment so he can hold and play with her and I can hug and kiss him.
The others haven’t gotten caught for anything; we figured there isn’t much use for any of us to have all of them arrested. They really do feel bad for what they’ve done, they didn’t mean for Brian to get caught. Jimmy almost got caught but Brian said he threatened Jimmy, he told the judge that if Jimmy didn’t do exactly what he said he was going to kill him. Jimmy was completely speechless, he couldn’t protest. I told Jimmy what Brian did for us, for me and his daughter. Jimmy was in awe. He knew Brian was earning more money than what he was admitting but he didn’t have any idea had set aside that much money. Apparently Brian’s been saving up for years, before we were together. It makes me wonder if he thought we were going to date each other before I had the operation.
I was told by the warden that if Brian keeps up the good behaviour he’ll be out by Briana’s first birthday. That seems pretty soon, Briana is six months old.
Today I was going to see Brian by myself; I was dropping Briana off at my mom’s house. Briana cooed at my mom as she inch wormed her way through the living room. I smiled at my mom as I handed her the baby bag.
“I don’t know why you go see that jackass.” She sneered a dirty remark at Brian. I arched an eye brow and frowned at her. Ever since she found out Brian was arrested she’s been drilling me on how right she was, she always knew he was no good and would end up in jail.
“Yeah well I love that jackass.” I told her as I stepped closer to Briana in a nice knee length blue flowing skirt and a white tank top. My dark hair was tied up into a kinked and waved pony tail. I picked up the brown haired, brown eyed baby girl and kissed her cheek happily. Each day she looks more and more like him, she does things that reminds me of him too.
“I don’t see why.” My mom added bluntly. I smiled and handed Briana over to her.
“Well for one, he helped make this precious being that you love with all your heart.” I told her lively. She sighed and took Briana, the small girl started to whine and cry. I gave her one last kiss before turning on my heel and leaving my parents’ house. I got into the black SUV and began into LA to go and see my boyfriend that sounds terrible. I mean I love that fact that we’re together but when I dreamed of us having a baby he wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was my husband. That’s a dream I hope one day comes true, I mean he’s already my boyfriend and I have a beautiful baby with him, only thing that’s missing is our wedding.
I guess I was so busy thinking and daydreaming I lost my focus on the road, before I knew it there was the sound of tires screeching and metal crunching. My body immediately went into shock after hitting the mental. I don’t remember. My world just went black at that moment.

Notes

Comments

@WeAllHailA7X

It's such a cheesy song but it's really catchy and good. I couldn't resist. :)

NocturnalKat NocturnalKat
1/29/14

" Got tickets to Iron Maiden baby " xD You made me start singing that.

WeAllHailA7X WeAllHailA7X
1/28/14

@NocturnalKat

Hey, no problem! I'm just telling the truth, you write very professionally! :)

WeAllHailA7X WeAllHailA7X
1/28/14

@WeAllHailA7X You are so sweet. Thank you for the wonderful feed back!

NocturnalKat NocturnalKat
1/28/14

This is amazing! I love the description you can feel everything she's feeling. <3 And the plot is SO creative! I just love it!! :3

WeAllHailA7X WeAllHailA7X
1/28/14