Chapter Fifteen:

Despite the insane amount of booze in my system, I couldn’t sleep. I crept out of my make-shift bed and went back to the shore. It’s peaceful out here. It would be so much easier if things were simple. I keep trying to think back on when things were simpler and I’m drawing a blank. I’m not really sure if things have ever been ‘simple’ or ‘easy’ for me. Things have always been complicated. I’m not going to sit here and feel sorry for myself. There are plenty of people out there that have it much worse than I do – or worse than I’ve ever had it.

People are amazing creatures, if you think about it. They can survive the craziest circumstances and a lot of them come out as stronger individuals because of it. I only hope that I can rise to that challenge when it comes.

If I do nothing else in my life, I want to make a difference. I want to help someone survive their trauma, like I’ve had people help me survive mine. I don’t think that’s too much to aspire to.

“You know, it’s dangerous to sit out here alone.” A deep voice came from behind me. I jumped and had to grab onto the boulder to keep from slipping off. I turned and saw Zacky climbing onto the rock.

“I couldn’t sleep.” I told him. He nodded.

“Same here. What’s on your mind, Shorty?” He asked me. I rolled my eyes at the generic nickname.

“Everything, I guess. Life – you know just evaluating everything.” I laughed.

“Probably not the best thing to do while you’ve been drinking,” he pointed out. I shrugged.

“That’s true, but that seems to be the way that things work out.” I sighed. He put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder. “I think you’d make a good brother, Zack.” I told him.

“I guess we’ll find out – won’t we?” He chuckled.

“We will. So… Is ‘Zacky’ short for ‘Zachary’? Or what?” I asked him.

“It is. Well, that and I couldn’t say ‘Zachary’ when I was a kid.” He explained.

“That’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Just keep it to yourself. If anyone else asks, I’ll deny it.” He said, smirking. I giggled. It’s so easy to fall into a siblings vibe with Zacky. There are just some people that you’re automatically comfortable with – he’s one of those people for me.

“Do you prefer ‘Zack’ or ‘Zacky’?” I asked him. I’ve called him both and I don’t think I’ve ever asked his preference before.

“Honestly, I don’t have one. Neither of them bother me.”

“I didn’t want to offend you or anything.” I told him.

“No worries, Lydia.” He laughed. “So, what’s the deal with you and Matt and Brian?” He asked me. I sighed.

“I’m still trying to figure that out.”

“My experience is that you can’t be equally into two people. You just can’t. Sometimes, people just don’t want to man up and make a decision.”

“I thought you didn’t approve of making big life decisions while intoxicated.” I quipped.

“Yeah, but like you said, sometimes it just happens that way.” He used my logic against me.

“I hate it when I’m not right.” I whined.

“What’s your heart say, Lydia?” He asked me. I sighed.

“What do you think I should do?” I countered, instead of answering his question.

“I’ve seen you with both guys and I’m probably not the best person to give you advice. I don’t know the whole story. I can see you and Matt dating, but when you’re hanging out with Brian, you two look so happy together. I don’t know how to word it. You guys just…” He tried to explain.

“We just fit together.” I finished for him. He nodded.

“Exactly. And it’s a little on the creepy side, because I’ve never seen him like he is with you, with any other girl. He’s dated just like the rest of us. He’s even had a hand full of serious relationships, but I don’t know. I can see you guys lasting and taking a shot at happily-ever-after.” He finished, quietly.

“I get what you’re saying and that’s pretty much what I’ve been feeling. But, I don’t think I’d do well in a relationship right now.”

“You do realize that you’re basically dating without the label, right?” He laughed.

“Yeah, I do. So, my tiptoeing around all of this is pretty pointless, isn’t it?” I questioned.

“If you want my opinion, it is.”

“Look at you, with your brotherly advice.” I teased.

“Just remember this when I come to you with girl troubles.”

“I got your back.” I assured him. He stayed and watched the waves in a comfortable silence. I thought about what he said and he’s right. If push comes to shove, my heart’s with Brian. I’ll talk to him in the morning, when alcohol isn’t a factor, anymore.

I’m not going back on what I said – I still want things to go slow. Things are too crazy to rush into anything. I don’t want to ruin the possibility of something good by a lack of patience.

---

I groaned as the sound of birds made their way into my ears. I opened my eyes and squinted through the bright-ass sunlight. I must have fallen asleep out here with Zack.

“It’s too fucking bright.” I complained as I buried my face into Zacky’s chest. He chuckled and started to sit up. It feels like someone is taking a jackhammer to my skull.

“Let’s head back to the house. There are curtains in there.” He suggested. He got to his feet and helped me up. I slipped my flip-flops back on and followed him to the beach house.

“I was wondering where you guys disappeared to.” Brian greeted us, smiling.

“We fell asleep by the beach. Please, tell me there’s coffee. I’ll love you forever.” I said, hopefully. Brian laughed.

“Here,” he told me, pressing a hot mug into my hands. I took a sip and groaned.

“Fucking wonderful, I want to bathe in it.” I cooed as I kept sipping the hot beverage. “You don’t seem hungover at all.” I noticed.

“I have a higher tolerance than you do.” He replied. I pursed my lips.

“Story of my life,” I sighed. “Taller than me… Have a higher tolerance than me… I’m just lame like that.”

“Your words, not mine.” Matt joked. I rolled my eyes.

“But, I’m female which automatically makes me more awesome – so suck it.” I stuck my tongue out at them both. “Hey, can I talk to you?” I asked Brian. He looked up in surprise and nodded. “Wanna go sit by the water?” I asked him. It’ll be easier to talk to him away from everyone else.

“Sure, come on, Ace.” He offered me his hand. I grasped it with one hand and my coffee in the other. We talked along the sand before sitting down on the warm ground. “What do you want to talk about?” He asked me, quietly. I looked over at him.

“About us,” I answered.

“I didn’t think there was an ‘us’.” He said, quietly. I shrugged.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Zacky helped me realize something last night. I was just too afraid to nut up and make a choice. We have so much chemistry – it’s ridiculous. We could make this work, right? I mean, I don’t want to jump into anything crazy. Don’t get me wrong… We could try dating. That’s what we’re basically doing, anyway. If we did decide to date, I’d want to take things slowly. I’m nowhere near perfect. I have my issues and baggage. And I’m sure you have your stuff, too. Stop me at any time. It’s like word vomit. I can’t stop rambling.” I confessed. I stole a peek at him and he was smirking. He leaned into me and kissed me. I pressed myself against him and kissed him back. This is nice. It feels right.

“It’s about fucking time.” Brian said, pulling away.

“So, what does this mean?” I asked him.

“It means you’re my girl – that is, if you’re willing to make this official?”

“I want to try.”

“Perfect.” He smiled before kissing me again.

---

Zacky’s POV

“What’s going on out there?” Jimmy asked me.

“Young love,” I replied, smirking. Matt walked over to us and peered out the window.

“They’re getting together?” Matt asked. I nodded.

“Yeah, I’m sorry man.” I apologized. Even though, I think Lydia and Brian make a better couple, that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel bad about my friend getting hurt.

“Don’t be. She made her choice. Brian’s a good guy.” Matt told us, putting on a brave face.

“And you’ll be there waiting in case their relationship ends up in flames?” Jimmy asked.

“Exactly,” Matt nodded.

---

Lydia’s POV

“We should head back.” I murmured against Brian’s lips. It’s nice to be able to kiss him and not feel like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. We’re together. It’s still something I’m going to have to wrap my head around.

“The guys probably have their faces pressed against the glass.” He teased. I rolled my eyes as we walked back to the house. Just like he predicted, everyone was not so subtly looking out the window as we walked inside.

“Dude, I’m starving.” Jimmy announced.

“Me too,” I chimed in.

“If we get packed, we can stop by the diner for breakfast before we hit the road.” Zacky suggested. We all murmured in agreement. I started packing my things while the guys packed theirs. Matt hung back, with me.

“So… You and Brian?” He asked. I looked up at him and nodded.

“Yeah,” I answered. “I know that we,” I gestured to both of us. “Were never together, but I don’t want things to be weird between us.”

“No harm, no foul,” he told me. I nodded. I really hope he means it.

“So, friends?” I asked.

“Friends,” he agreed, pulling me into a hug. Maybe this won’t be so bad. Who am I kidding? It’ll probably still be awkward as hell.

Notes

WELL, Lydia FINALLY made a decision... for now, anyways. I'll try my damnedest to update tomorrow, but it might be a busy one for me.

Y'all are awesome!
--Katie