Chapter Fourteen:

“So, was the trip really your dad’s idea?” I asked Zacky, two hours into our car ride. He turned around and nodded.

“Yeah, surprisingly,” he confirmed. I nodded. That’s interesting.

“How is that surprising? Your dad is the shit.” Jimmy spoke up. I giggled and nodded in agreeance.

“He really is. He doesn’t always say it, but he worries about me… Well, about us, now.” Zacky voiced, looking me in the eyes.

“He seems like a really stand-up guy. I’m surprised he keeps putting up with my mother. He’s probably the nicest out of her many boy-toys.” I told him. He laughed. “I’m serious – bitch is a man-slayer.”

“Remind me not to get on your bad side, Ace.” Brian teased, squeezing my leg. I smiled and trailed his hand with my fingertips. He moved his hand and interlaced his fingers with mine. I sighed with contentment. This is nice. A girl could used to this.

“So what’s the plan for tonight?” I asked them.

“I think fun is the agenda.” Johnny told me. I laughed.

“Everyone could use some of that.” I mused.

“And drunken charades!” Zacky added.

“Twister?” Matt asked.

“Twister,” Jimmy agreed, nodding.

---

“We’re finally here!” I yelled, jumping out of the van. “You guys didn’t steal the van…? Did you?” I asked the guys.

“It’s my brother’s.” Jimmy assured me. I nodded.

“Awesome. Let’s get shitfaced.” I deadpanned.

“You don’t waste any time; do you?” Matt asked me. I shook my head.

“What’s the point?”

“I respect that. Let’s do shots.” He smirked.

“Yes! Piggy back ride?” I asked him, barely giving him any warning before I jumped onto his back. It’s turns out that I wasn’t the only one who brought booze with me – not that the beach house wasn’t already stocked. Tonight should be fun.

---

I was grinding with the air around me. The guys didn’t share my love for dance music, but let me play Shots. I sang along with the music as I took a few shots of my own.

So cups in the air, everybody let’s take shots.
If you feelin’ drunk, put your hands in the air…

Brian grabbed my hips from behind and started dancing with me. I smiled back at him and moved against him. No one can be upset while they’re dancing. It’s automatic endorphins.

Patron’s on the rocks and I’m ready for some shots.
The women come around every time I’m pourin’ shots.
Their panties hit the ground every time I give ‘em shots.
So cups in the air, everybody let’s take shots.
I’m fucked up.

By the time the song ended, all the guys were dancing shamelessly. I smirked when they changed the music. I was buzzing off of all the movement. I feel energized like I could take over the world. I’m pumped!

“At least put on something we can dance to.” I requested, taking another shot. I’m not even feeling my buzz yet. I’m sure it’ll hit me soon enough.

“Lydia, I’m sure Matt and Brian would try to dance with you, even if we were listening to Miley Cyrus.” Zacky teased. I scoffed and laughed, throwing a nearby plastic bowl at him. We kept dancing as The White Stripes filled the room.

I’m gonna fight ‘em off.
A seven nation army couldn’t hold me off.
They’re gonna rip it off –
Taking their time, right behind my back.

Brian started to nuzzle my neck and my skin felt like it was on fire. His lips are going straight to my nether regions. I can’t think. I closed my eyes and grinded against him.

Don’t want to hear about it.
Every single one’s got a story to tell.
Everybody knows about it,
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell.

My eyes fluttered open and I saw Matt watching us with unnerving intensity. He drank me in through hooded eyes. I bit my lips as I looked him over. He walked over to us, slowly. His hands ended up on my hip and shoulder.

We all moved in synch with each other. No one seemed to mind and we stayed this way until the music ended. I cleared my throat and untangled myself from them.

“So, Twister?” I asked, my voice cracking. Jimmy was the first to respond. He seemed to be in a daze after watching us, too.

“Fuck, yeah.” He agreed. I nodded and all but ran to grab it. I located the game and walked back to everyone else. Things seemed noticeably less awkward after I came back. I let out a deep breath of relief.

“Loser has to lose their pants.” Brian announced, his eyes finding mine. I smirked. His eyes twinkled. It seems like someone is going to be naked before the night’s over and it’s definitely not going to be me.

---

“Lydia, left hand, blue,” Johnny told me. I nodded and slid my hand underneath Zacky’s leg. I grunted as I strained to steady myself. I’m definitely not agile enough for this. “Zacky, right foot, yellow,” Johnny added. Zack sighed and moved his leg, somehow managing not to fall.

“Shit, I’m not made for this.” Zacky complained. I giggled.

“Who are you telling?” I quipped. “I vote losers pour us shots.” I looked over at Matt and Jimmy who were sitting sans pants on the sidelines. Brian laughed.

“Brian, right hand, green,” Johnny announced. Brian just smirked and slid his hand over my body and onto the colored circle.

“I suggest you open your mouths.” Matt told us as he shook a half-empty bottle of tequila. I opened my mouth, waiting for the harsh liquor to bathe my tongue. As soon as he poured a splash of the bottle contents into my waiting mouth, Matt placed a lime wedge into his. I swallowed the liquid courage and Matt’s mouth hovered over mine with the sliced citrus. I latched onto it and sucked, before moving my mouth from his. As soon as I moved, I came crashing down onto my back, taking Zacky with me.

“I’m victorious!” Brian cheered as he stood up. I giggled as Matt pulled me to my feet. I unbuttoned my jeans and maneuvered the zipper down. I shimmied out of my pants and tossed them to the side. Zacky followed suit.

“This time,” I reminded him.

---

Three rounds later and Brian was still the reigning champion. We were all definitely smashed. I was dancing again. Tequila makes me want to move – I normally don’t care who with.

“What are you thinking about?” Matt asked from behind me. I shrugged. The other guys were out front, on the beach.

“Not much,” I told him, honestly.

“We don’t have to stay in here. We can go to the water.” He offered. I shook my head. Things are nice here. I like the music drowning out my drunken thoughts.

“I’m good.” I told smiling.

“We can do body shots.” He offered. I shrugged.

“Alright.” I was jittery as I poured salt on my stomach and set the shot on top of myself. He leaned down, licked the salt and took the salt, before stealing the lime from my mouth. I followed suit, taking a shot off of him.

“Hey party people, you should…” Brian interrupted us. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No,” I answered quickly.

“We’re just having fun, B-Man.” I chuckled.

“Come out to the water.” He told us. I shook my head.

“I don’t want to get wet.”

“I can change that.” Matt said, quietly. I looked at him and blushed.

“Nah,” I declined, nervous.

“Come on, Ace. You’ll love it.” Brian held his hand out to me. I took it, gingerly. He led us out to the sand.

“It’s so pretty.” I mused. I made a mental note not to try and swim. Water and alcohol really don’t mix well, like that.

Matt ran and pushed Jimmy and Zacky into the water. Johnny laughed. Brian and I walked a little ways away from them. We sat on a huge boulder and looked at the crashing waves. The water is illuminated by the moon and it looks gorgeous.

“Hypothetically, if you were ready for a relationship, would you give us a chance?” Brian asked me, suddenly. I glanced over at him and nodded.

“Yeah, I would. I’m such a messed up person, Brian. You can do so much better than me. Trust me – you don’t want to be in a relationship with me. All I ever do is break things. I touch
something, and it shatters. We would be ruined. I don’t want that.”

“You’re scared of commitment, because you think you’ll lose me?” He tried to reason.

“Basically, yeah, old man,” I agreed.

“That’s stupid.” He sighed.

“Even more reason not to do it,” I told him, while I scowled at him. He just chuckled.

“This isn’t going away. It doesn’t matter how much you wish it would disappear. It won’t.” He whispered.

“I’m not stable. Stability of my mental state has to come first.”

“Don’t hide behind your disorder.” He disagreed. I didn’t say anything. Am I hiding behind it? I don’t know, probably. It’s so much easier said than done. So much.

“My answer isn’t going to change.”

“Eventually, it will. I’m not afraid to fight for you, Ace.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop.”

“You’re so fucking stubborn.”

“Yeah, get used it. That’s not going to change.” He retorted with a shit-eating grin.

“Whatever you say,” I breathed, stealing the bottle out of his hands.

“You’re going to realize you want this. I just hope it’s sooner than later.”

“I’m glad you have it all figured out, really.” I told him, sarcastically.

“I know what I want and I want you.”

“Then keep wanting me,” I said, standing up. I staggered a bit and moseyed off of the rock. He followed me and pinned me with his body, so I couldn’t move.

“Do you always run away from your problems?” He asked me.

“Only the manageable ones.”

“Stop running.”

“Give me a reason.” I responded and he did. He kissed me. It might have been the tequila, but this was a foot-popping, fireworks seeing, hand groping, scarcely breathing, passionate and demanding kiss. When he pulled away from me, I felt light and helpless against his mouth.

“Maybe you can think about it and give it a chance – us a chance."

“I just want to be friends, Brian.” I told him in a barely audible whisper.

“Then, let’s go splash the guys, friend.” He whispered. I nodded, hating the way he said it. I’ll probably regret this. It’s a bittersweet feeling. I’m not rushing, but pushing everyone away, probably isn’t the answer. We walked back, holding hands.

I feel like one of these days, I’ll wake up and realize that we had started dating, but neglected to make it official. Is that what’s already happened?

“I’m not giving up on you, Ace.” Brian told me, with a sad smile. Alcohol always seems like a good idea, in the beginning… but then I wake up in the morning with regrets.

As long as we stay friends, no one will get hurt – right?

Notes

Music Credit:
"Shots" - LMFAO featuring Lil' Jon
"Seven Nation Army" - The White Stripes

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-Katie