Nothing else matters

Brian’s POV

"Baby?" I grabbed her hand, trying to get her attention. But she was just starring into nothing, lost in thoughts or maybe memories. She scared me and I mean really fucking scared me.
"Hey Ana, look at me, please" I begged her.
I put my hand carefully underneath her chin and raised her head towards me. I looked deep into her eyes. "Tell me what is wrong? Please, was it something I did?!”
She slowly shook he head. Still she was so quiet and I felt so lost.
"Ana, say something! Baby, talk to me, please"
She looked deep into my eyes and I smiled a little trying to encourage her to tell whatever it was. Finally she took a deep breath and started to talk, "When I was 18 , I met this boy. His name was Larry and he was my first boyfriend. I thought that I loved him. So, this whole situation was new for me. I wanted to spend every minute with him.
At the beginning everything was wonderful he was so nice and we were like inseparable, but the more time passed he changed. I knew that something was wrong. But I was so in love. When it began that he asked me to move forward in our relationship and he made this indication about sex. I told him I was not ready for it. I was young and ashamed. So I said to him that I needed more time. It was only 1 month since we came together. He said that he would understand and wait until I am ready. Just a few weeks later he tried again. And at first I thought that I wanted it too, that I was ready but still he was making his moves too fast. So again I said I needed more time. And then just a couple of days later we were at his home alone and he started again. I said no but he wouldn’t let me go. I have never seen him like that before. He screamed at me that I was a fucking liar and stupid, that I shouldn’t pretend that I was so innocent. But Brian, I was innocent until then.”
Ok, that was the moment I couldn’t stand it. I stood up from the bed and paced through the whole room. Did I want to hear the rest of her story? Probably not, but do I need to hear it? Yes.
I nodded at Ana,“ I am sorry, please continue.”
Ana held her knees to her body in a defensive move.
“He started to kiss me and pushed my hands above my head and held them there. I couldn’t move couldn’t struggle against his hold. I begged him to stop and to let loose but he just continued. He shoved my shirt up and opened my bra. I was so scared. When I started to cry he just hit me and said Shut up, bitch. I was crying more and more still begging him to stop. He opened my jeans shoved my panties out of the way and he took my virginity. That was my first time. After he was done with me he said, you’ll always remember your first time baby and like that he walked away. I have never seen him after that. I was so ashamed and afraid. I haven’t told anybody about this. I have this nightmare every night. I see him holding me down, chasing me…”
I walked towards her couldn’t do anything just held her in my arms. Rocking her from one side to the other, still couldn’t believe what she just told me. I need to find that fucking son of a bitch!
"Oh my God, Ana, I didn't know. I'm so sorry"
Now I understand why she was so shy and I was such an idiot for not seeing that we need to go slow. I was just… she makes me crazy. I was falling so hard. She was so different from anyone I new so innocent at one side but so strong and independent on the other side. When I look into her beautiful eyes I just loose myself in it and the moment.

Ana’s POV

Brian held me in his arms. He still hadn’t his shirt on. I had finally snapped out of the past. And was glad that Brian was with me and that he accepted me with every flaw. I was just lying on his naked chest for a few minutes, or maybe hours.
I looked into his eyes, "I'm sorry Brian again, I shouldn't have..."
He immediately sat up, "Baby, no! I am glad that you told me about it. We can leave us as much time with it as you need. Everything will be fine. I am not like him, ok?! And I swear to god if I ever find this mother****….”
"Brian, just kiss me. Help me forget about it. Let’s create a new memory. A memory I want to think about! I know that you won’t hurt me."
“No, Ana you don’t have to do that. I will wait. I will wait until you are ready. It is in your hand.”
He was the sweetest man I have ever known. And that made me even braver so I stood up and sat myself on his lap and kissed his lips. He was surprised at my boldness now. I was surprised myself.
I didn’t feel fear now. I was just feeling Brian’s body against mine. His mouth tasted slightly like smoke and beer. I never liked beer myself but like this I could get addicted to the taste. He removed my jeans and panties. „Ana, we can stop. Just say the word and I will stop without another word, ok?! But believe my honey I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you. I promise."
We lay on his bed Brian’s body above my own. I could feel him slowly pushing forward. He looked into my eyes. “Ana, you are so beautiful.” I could feel him stretch me it was a little painful but I looked into his eyes and the pain subsided. He began to me oh so slowly. I led my hands roam over his body, encouraging him to move faster. I could feel the climax building and I couldn’t help but smile at this feeling. Brian kissed me passionately. His mouth moved towards my neck he sucked there and that was enough I screamed his name and at the same moment he groaned mine and we were falling apart into a million pieces.

Notes

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