Sacrifice the Innocence
2 Months Later and Secrets to Tell
2 months passed us by like nothing and I have grown closer to the boys and Matt. I was laying in bed and checked my phone, it was 3pm. I yawned and stretched and looked towards where Matt sleeps and he wasn't there. I pulled the covers off of me and walked into the bathroom and fixed my hair. I opened the bathroom door and sat down pulling my backpack up next to me. I pulled out my little black box and looked at everything that was in there. I smiled when I seen the picture of my mom and me sitting around the house like a pair of crackheads.
Her goofy smile she did made me laugh a little and then my expression and emotion went to sadness. I had picked up the picture of my step-dad. I missed him so much and to this day, I don't understand why he was taken from me and my mom. I went downstairs and seen the guys laughing in the living room.
"Where's Matt?" I asked walking into the living room and leaning up against the door frame.
"I think he's outside."
"Thanks Johnny." I said and walked to the front door and opened it. I seen him sitting on the porch step. I sat down beside him.
"Hey Matt."
"Hey...What are you doing?" he asked smoking a cigarette.
"I just came to tell you that I don't want you and the boys going out tonight."
"Why?" he asked flicking the cigarette away.
"I know you want to know about my past and shit and I know the boys do too."
"You're going to show the guys whats in the box?" he said putting his arm around me.
"Yeah...they need to see what's in it."
"Good...I care a lot about you Fienix and I hate to see you depressed and when I see you like that I get depressed." he said and he kissed me but not on the cheek. He kissed my lips softly. I looked at him in shock but smiled.
"Can I bum a cigarette off you Matt?"
"Yeah." he said opening his pack and got 2 cigarettes out and lit them both. He handed me one and I took a hit.
"So when do you want to do this?"
"When we get done smoking. Come up to our room with me." I said as I finished my cigarette. I threw the cigarette down and stood up and so did Matt. He followed me back inside and upstairs. I opened the door and sat down on the bed as Matt closed the door behind us. He sat down next to me and I pulled the box onto my lap.
"You don't have to show us your personal things if you don't want to sweetheart." he said as he pulled me closer to him.
"Matt...I'll feel a whole lot better if I tell all of you what Ive been through these past few years."
"Oh okay but you tell me if it gets to be a bit much for you and I'll keep you strong OK sweety." he said and he kissed my lips again.
"Well we better get going...I need to get this over with." I stood up and headed for the door.
"Wait Fienix...there's something I need to tell you first." he said walking over to me. He grabbed both of my hands and looked down at the floor and then back up into my eyes.
"What is it?"
"I've been so good to you for all these months...We have grown really close and you're more than just a friend to me...I...I..I love you." he said and a single tear ran freely down his face. I wiped it away before saying, "I love you too Matt." He kissed me better this time and of course I kissed him back. It was such a passionate lovers kiss. I pulled away and we walked downstairs and into the living room. Matt turned off the TV.
"Hey! Shadows we were watching that!" Jimmy said.
"I think what Fienix has to say is more important than a damn TV show." I walked over and sat down in the Recliner and rocked back and forth.
"What is it?" Brian said sitting up.
"I know when I first came here you guys were wondering what is in my little black box."
"Yeah we have...wondering for a long time now." Jimmy said taking a drink of his beer.
"Jimmy let her finish." Zacky looked over at Jimmy with his famous death stare.
"Anyways...I just wanted to show you guys and tell you all about my past. I know you guys care so much about me and can't stand to see me hurt. I've thought about this moment for 8 long months." I said opening the black box. I pulled out a picture of my best friends and I hanging out.
"This is a friend of mine who died in December 2007 from a self inflicted shotgun wound to the head...he stayed alive for 6 days and on the 6th day he woke up when the doctors said it was impossible. He woke up for only 5 minutes just to tell me that he was really sorry for what he did to himself and he wished that he could take it all back. He appreciated everything that I've helped him overcome. He told me that he loved me more than anything in the world." I could see the shock and reaction that the guys had on their faces.
"He gave me this necklace and told me to never take it off but I did when I met David..." I said pulling the coffin necklace out of the box and showing the guys. Jeff never took that necklace off and I didn't either. I put the necklace around my neck and continued. I pulled picture after picture and told them about my life. I picked up the last picture in the box and just stared at it.
"Fienix? You alright?" Shadows asked walking over to me. He looked at the picture and it was my step-dad laying in a hospital bed at my mom's house. I turned the picture around and showed everyone.
"This is my step-dad. He was more of a real father to me than anything else. He taught me and helped me with everything that I faced and I loved him for that. When my mom and I found out that he was diagnosed in the last stage of liver cancer, it devastated us. My mom broke down and cried right then and I didn't. I knew I had to be strong for her." I said and tears streamed down my face. I wiped them away and Matt wrapped his big arm around my shoulder holding me close.
"He died the day before my birthday May 25th, 2011...." I said my words cracklings when I spoke. The guys crowded around me and hugged me so tightly I couldn't breath.
"Guys I do appreciate the love but I can't breathe here." They laughed and let me go. Shadows handed me a cigarette and lit it for me.
"You need this Fienix."
"Yeah thanks. There is one more thing though." I said taking a hit.
"What is it?" Everyone looked puzzled at me.
"I love all of you but Matt...I love you the most. You have nursed me back to health when that son of a bitch beat the living shit out of me and breaking my ribs. I am always grateful. I love you so much." I said and I kissed him front of everyone.
"There's something I need to tell you too."
"What's that?" I asked.
"I love you too and I know you will say yes but will you go out with me?"
"Of course I will." I said smiling.
Her goofy smile she did made me laugh a little and then my expression and emotion went to sadness. I had picked up the picture of my step-dad. I missed him so much and to this day, I don't understand why he was taken from me and my mom. I went downstairs and seen the guys laughing in the living room.
"Where's Matt?" I asked walking into the living room and leaning up against the door frame.
"I think he's outside."
"Thanks Johnny." I said and walked to the front door and opened it. I seen him sitting on the porch step. I sat down beside him.
"Hey Matt."
"Hey...What are you doing?" he asked smoking a cigarette.
"I just came to tell you that I don't want you and the boys going out tonight."
"Why?" he asked flicking the cigarette away.
"I know you want to know about my past and shit and I know the boys do too."
"You're going to show the guys whats in the box?" he said putting his arm around me.
"Yeah...they need to see what's in it."
"Good...I care a lot about you Fienix and I hate to see you depressed and when I see you like that I get depressed." he said and he kissed me but not on the cheek. He kissed my lips softly. I looked at him in shock but smiled.
"Can I bum a cigarette off you Matt?"
"Yeah." he said opening his pack and got 2 cigarettes out and lit them both. He handed me one and I took a hit.
"So when do you want to do this?"
"When we get done smoking. Come up to our room with me." I said as I finished my cigarette. I threw the cigarette down and stood up and so did Matt. He followed me back inside and upstairs. I opened the door and sat down on the bed as Matt closed the door behind us. He sat down next to me and I pulled the box onto my lap.
"You don't have to show us your personal things if you don't want to sweetheart." he said as he pulled me closer to him.
"Matt...I'll feel a whole lot better if I tell all of you what Ive been through these past few years."
"Oh okay but you tell me if it gets to be a bit much for you and I'll keep you strong OK sweety." he said and he kissed my lips again.
"Well we better get going...I need to get this over with." I stood up and headed for the door.
"Wait Fienix...there's something I need to tell you first." he said walking over to me. He grabbed both of my hands and looked down at the floor and then back up into my eyes.
"What is it?"
"I've been so good to you for all these months...We have grown really close and you're more than just a friend to me...I...I..I love you." he said and a single tear ran freely down his face. I wiped it away before saying, "I love you too Matt." He kissed me better this time and of course I kissed him back. It was such a passionate lovers kiss. I pulled away and we walked downstairs and into the living room. Matt turned off the TV.
"Hey! Shadows we were watching that!" Jimmy said.
"I think what Fienix has to say is more important than a damn TV show." I walked over and sat down in the Recliner and rocked back and forth.
"What is it?" Brian said sitting up.
"I know when I first came here you guys were wondering what is in my little black box."
"Yeah we have...wondering for a long time now." Jimmy said taking a drink of his beer.
"Jimmy let her finish." Zacky looked over at Jimmy with his famous death stare.
"Anyways...I just wanted to show you guys and tell you all about my past. I know you guys care so much about me and can't stand to see me hurt. I've thought about this moment for 8 long months." I said opening the black box. I pulled out a picture of my best friends and I hanging out.
"This is a friend of mine who died in December 2007 from a self inflicted shotgun wound to the head...he stayed alive for 6 days and on the 6th day he woke up when the doctors said it was impossible. He woke up for only 5 minutes just to tell me that he was really sorry for what he did to himself and he wished that he could take it all back. He appreciated everything that I've helped him overcome. He told me that he loved me more than anything in the world." I could see the shock and reaction that the guys had on their faces.
"He gave me this necklace and told me to never take it off but I did when I met David..." I said pulling the coffin necklace out of the box and showing the guys. Jeff never took that necklace off and I didn't either. I put the necklace around my neck and continued. I pulled picture after picture and told them about my life. I picked up the last picture in the box and just stared at it.
"Fienix? You alright?" Shadows asked walking over to me. He looked at the picture and it was my step-dad laying in a hospital bed at my mom's house. I turned the picture around and showed everyone.
"This is my step-dad. He was more of a real father to me than anything else. He taught me and helped me with everything that I faced and I loved him for that. When my mom and I found out that he was diagnosed in the last stage of liver cancer, it devastated us. My mom broke down and cried right then and I didn't. I knew I had to be strong for her." I said and tears streamed down my face. I wiped them away and Matt wrapped his big arm around my shoulder holding me close.
"He died the day before my birthday May 25th, 2011...." I said my words cracklings when I spoke. The guys crowded around me and hugged me so tightly I couldn't breath.
"Guys I do appreciate the love but I can't breathe here." They laughed and let me go. Shadows handed me a cigarette and lit it for me.
"You need this Fienix."
"Yeah thanks. There is one more thing though." I said taking a hit.
"What is it?" Everyone looked puzzled at me.
"I love all of you but Matt...I love you the most. You have nursed me back to health when that son of a bitch beat the living shit out of me and breaking my ribs. I am always grateful. I love you so much." I said and I kissed him front of everyone.
"There's something I need to tell you too."
"What's that?" I asked.
"I love you too and I know you will say yes but will you go out with me?"
"Of course I will." I said smiling.
Notes
comments?There's only one chapter left after this one and I'll tell you all right now that it's extremely short.
I don't really know why I wrote this with her only using their stage names...when this was posted on Mibba I really didn't know anything about writing a good solid story..
2/6/13