I slowly walked back into the shop. I felt as if the whole life in me was drained. My heart was beating heavily and I was swallowing tears. When I walked in Zoe was still angry.

“I don’t want to hear it.” I told her before she could start back up. I walked straight back to my station. I shut the door and locked and just let everything out. I cried and cried and cried. I heard a faint knock on my door about thirty minutes later. I cleaned up my face the best I could and opened the door. It was Zoe.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

I sniffed. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re lying. You’ve been crying for thirty minutes straight.”

“Just, leave me alone, please.” She nodded and closed the door. I sat down in my chair and stared blankly at the wall. I just realized what I gotten myself into. I cheated on my husband, betrayed my best friend, and lost my other best friend. I swiftly got up and grabbed my stuff. I wasn’t ready to give up Brian. I just couldn’t. I hurried out of the shop before anyone could protest. I jumped in my car and sped out of the driveway towards Brian’s house.

I pulled into the front of it and parked. I got out and knocked on the door. He opened the door and I just fell into his arms in tears.

“Whoa, Lex…”

“I can’t do it. I just can’t.” I cried. “I can’t let go of you.”

He pulled away and grabbed my face. “Lex, you can’t do this. Not now.” I could see he was hurting too. I mean who wouldn’t after everything I’ve done to him?

“I can’t hide it anymore. I can’t. Watching you leave was the most horrific thing that’s ever happened to me besides the infertility scare. I can’t live my life without you.” He grabbed me back into a hug and I could tell he was now crying.

“Here you are, Lex… again making me cry. I can’t do this again.” He pulled away. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” I looked at him dumbfounded.

“Brian… I…”

He put his hand up. “Stop. You’ll regret this. Turn around and go back to your car, get in and go home to your husband and daughter.”

“Is this really what you want?”

“No, but it’s what’s best.” I looked down at my feet.

“Okay.” I turned around and walked away. I made the choice not to look back. I didn’t want to see him crying or the door shut and I didn’t want him to see that I wasn’t going to turn back. He made it clear that this is what he wanted.

I got in my car and drove away. I never felt more alone than I did now. I had no choice but to go back home. I had to hide all this. I had to get rid of this feeling. I couldn’t let Zack now.

I pulled into my driveway and took a minute to gather my thoughts and to regain my composure. Finally, I got out and made my way inside.

“I’m home.” I yelled. I set down everything and made my way upstairs. I went into my room and saw that Zack was in there with Avery.

“Hey, baby. How was work?” He asked.

I shrugged. “It was alright.”

“You look like you’ve been crying.”

“I have.”

“Well, why?”

“I just had a client who really hit home.” I lied.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, he was getting a memoir tattoo, but his story was heartbreaking.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I walked over and picked up Avery. If there’s anybody in this world that could put a smile on my face it was her. ***************************************************************************************************************************

Days went by and I still wasn’t acting like myself. I was trying really hard, but making little progress. Zack was beginning to notice and I was just running out of excuses. I just needed someone to talk to and tell me what I should do. I’m terrified of being judged, though. I just don’t know who to turn to. I could try Val, but I’m just terrified of losing everyone. I had nowhere else to turn though. I’m out of options.

“I’m going to go over to Matt and Val’s.” I told Zack. “Do you wanna come?” I tried to hide the fact I was going over to talk.

“Um, no I don’t think so. I think I’m going to run to my mom’s house. She wants to see Avery.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I love you. I’ll be home later”

“Okay, baby. I love you too.” I walked away and made my way outside to my car. I started the ignition and drove to Val’s house. Once I got there, I walked up and knocked on her door. She opened it seconds later.

“Oh, hey, Lex. I didn’t know you were going to stop by.”

“I need to talk to someone, Val. I’m desperate.”

“Well, honey, you know I’m always here for you. Come in. Matt’s out so it’s just us.”

“Good, I don’t want anyone else to know about this.” I walked in and she shut the door behind me. We walked over to the couch and sat down.

“What’s going on?” She asked, obvious worry written on her face.

“I don’t want you to judge me, okay? Don’t get angry at me. Promise me.”

“Okay, Lex. I promise. What is going on?” She urged.

“Well a week ago at my party, something happened.”

“Explain.”

“I ended up sleeping with Brian…”

Her eyes widened. “Lex, why?”

I just burst into tears. “I don’t know, Val. I was drunk and I don’t even remember it. It was right after you and I talked. I started to think about it hardcore and ended up getting upset and Brian talked to me. I asked him to get me a drink and he brought back a bottle of Jack. We polished the bottle and we both were wasted. I just know I poured my heart out to him just like I did to you. I threw myself at him and we had sex. The first night back from my honeymoon, we had sex. I already betrayed my husband barely a month married.”

“Oh, god, Lex.”

“That’s not even the end of it.” I sniffed.

“Don’t tell me you did it more than once.”

I shook my head. “The next day I went into the shop and Brian showed up. We talked, but it didn’t go how I wanted it to. Basically, we agreed to just keeping our distance until I’m over all this, but watching him leave killed me, Val. I can’t explain to you what I felt. I felt empty, gone. So what do I do? I go run to his fucking house, break down on his front porch, only to have him shoo me away and tell me that he doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Why would he do something like that to you?”

“He says I’m happy with Zack, which I am. Well, at least I think I am. He doesn’t want to betray him. He wants to get over me.”

“He already betrayed him. More than once. I don’t understand why he’s throwing your guys’ friendship away though. You guys worked so hard to get to where you are today and in a snap of his fingers it’s all gone. He’s playing you like a fucking puppet. One moment he loves you and the next he hates you. No one in this world deserves that, especially you. You may have made your mistakes, but you know what that still doesn’t give him the right to do that. Have you told Zack?”

I shook my head. “No, I can’t. He’ll leave. I can’t afford to lose him or Avery.”

She nodded. “I understand completely and I back you on it. I’m here for you, Lex. No matter what. My lips are sealed.”

Zack’s POV

I got Avery and made my way outside to my car. I felt like I was slowing crashing. I was collapsing inside of myself. Lex has been distant and I have no idea why. I feel like something happened the night she “woke up on Brian’s couch”, but I’m not trying to doubt her. I drove away from my house and made my way to Jimmy’s house. All the guys, minus Brian, are there. I asked them to meet up somewhere so I could get some advice.

Once I got there, I made my way inside and sat down and got Avery out of her carseat.

“So, man, what’s going on?” Matt asked.

“It’s Lex.” I sighed.

“What’s wrong with her?” Jimmy asked.

“I think she cheated on me.” My heart ached at the thought.

“What!” They all said in unison.

“The night of our welcome home party. She left and didn’t come home until morning. Her excuse was she got drunk and woke up on Brian’s couch. I just can’t bring myself to believe her. Especially after all that has already happened.”

“You’re jumping to conclusions.” Matt said. “You know she wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I’m trying to tell myself that, but she making the thought seem impossible by the way she has been acting.”

“Well, how has she been acting?” Johnny asked.

“She’s distant. No hugs, kisses, sex, nothing. I’m surprised she has told me that she loves me.” I sighed at reality. “You guys, I’m afraid I’m losing her.” I felt tears burning in my eyes.

“Maybe you should talk to her.” Jimmy said. “Sit her down and ask her.”

“If I do that she could jump back and say that I’m not trusting her. We already had a blow out the morning she showed up. I hate the fact that I’m doubting her.”

“Well she is obviously giving you a reason for you to think that. It has happened once and it could happen again.” Matt said. “I don’t think she did, honestly, but I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you.”

I nodded. “I know. I just have to get answers. I just can’t go on like this.”

“Well you need to get out of your funk before tomorrow. We have to be in the studio.” Matt replied.

“I know, I know, I know. I’ll be there.” I sighed. Leave it up to Matt to think about the band when I think my wife is cheating on me.