I woke up the next in the morning in a panic due to the dream I was having. I looked to the side of me and my dream was reality. Lex was next to me… asleep… naked. What the hell happened last night? I got up quietly and made my way to the kitchen. I got out some juice and tried to recall the night before. I could remember seeing Lex crying and us deciding to drink. I remember her telling me stories of Avery and us in the past and also Zack, but how the hell did we get here? Why the hell did I have sex with Lex after everything that happened before? Oh my god she’s going to hate me.

I made my way back upstairs and I opened the door. Lex was awake and sitting up. I was surprised she wasn’t throwing shit at me.

“Good morning.” I said with a sigh.

“Brian, what happened last night?”

I shrugged. “I have no fucking idea.”

“God, I’m such an idiot.” She got up and pulled on her clothes.

“Whoa, Lex. This wasn’t your fault. It’s mine. I’m an inconsiderate asshole.”

She shook her head. “I should’ve watched what I was drinking. This isn’t your fault Brian. I know it’s not. I’m going home, okay?” Before I could protest she was out the door. Now I was sitting there wondering what the hell she meant by it wasn’t my fault.

Lex’s POV

I couldn’t believe that Brian and I slept together last night… again. I betrayed Zack… again. What was I going to tell him when I come walking through the door a mess? I walked home and opened the door. Zack was asleep on the couch and I could tell he wasn’t happy. I shut the door and he instantly woke up.

“Lex, where the fuck have you been?” He snapped, tiredly.

“I, uh, don’t know, Zack.”

“What do you mean you don’t fucking know?”

“I got drunk last night. I don’t remember what happened. All I know is I woke up in Brian’s house.”

His face turned red. I could tell his was livid. “So you’re telling me that you leave our welcome home party from our fucking honeymoon to go fuck Brian?” He yelled.

“No, I didn’t have sex with him. I was just asleep on his couch.” I lied.

“Typical you, Lex. You being the immature child you always have been.” He shook his head and got up.

“Typical me? I didn’t do anything wrong! I was hurting, okay? I was upset and then I asked Brian for a drink. He got me one and the last thing I remember was telling him stories about our fucking honeymoon. Brian isn’t that inconsiderate. He wouldn’t betray you or me like that.” I screamed.

“Whatever, Lex. I’m going to pick up OUR daughter. Make sure you don’t invite Brian over so you can fuck.” He snapped and slammed the door. I instantly fell to the floor in tears. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. Why was I so stupid? I know exactly what I did last night. I spilled my heart out, drunkenly, and I threw myself at Brian. Just like before. I couldn’t blame him for this and there was no way I was going to tell Zack. He’ll get over this and apologize and we’ll just go on like nothing happened.

I got up and decided to take a shower. I knew Zack was going to be gone long due to the fact he was pissed. I was terrified of how he was going to come home. I knew he wasn’t going to yell at me for the fact that Avery would be here.

As I let the water run down my body, I tried to recall any memories of the night before. Nothing came to mind. I do know that it was all in my power. I just felt it. I knew Brian probably felt like shit and I just couldn’t handle that. I needed to fix all this and it needed to be soon. I turned off the water and got dressed. I just did a simple messy bun and walked out. I walked in the room and heard the front door shut. My stomach turned as I made my way downstairs.

“Lex,” Zack called.

“I’m coming down the stairs.” I replied. I got to the bottom of the staircase and saw Zack unbuckling Avery from her carseat. I wrapped my arms around myself.

“I’m sorry for earlier.” He sighed. “I’ve been up all night worrying about you. I didn’t know what the hell happened. No one did. I knew something was wrong. And for you to disappear on me like that I always think the worse.”

“I know. I’m sorry I left. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I was overwhelmed.” I sighed and sat down. “I just don’t know how to explain it.”

“Well, babe, you need to stop with this bullshit.” He said. “We’re married now. I can’t deal with him coming between us like before.”

I nodded. “I know. I’m not trying to put him in between us. He was just there and trust me he didn’t try to do anything wrong. He knows that we’re married. He understands all that.”

“I know he does. I just overreacted, but please don’t ever do anything like this again.”

“I won’t. I promise.” He leaned over and kissed me and handed me my baby girl.
***************************************************************************************************************************
That day was full of guilt and me trying not to let the truth come out. I was terrified that Zack would figure it out. I put my family in risk. I just threw it all away. I’m such a fucking idiot. I don’t know what to do. I need a friend. My best friend. Speaking of my best friend, oh god Zoe.

I got up and made my way to the office Zack was in. Avery was currently taking a nap. I lightly tapped on the door frame. He turned around in his chair and smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. I could tell he was still angry at me.

“I’m going into the shop for a little. Are you okay to watch Avery?”

“Of course. Have a good day, baby.” I half-smiled and walked away. I made my way downstairs and outside to my car. I started it up and made my way to the shop. It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to tattoo. I was more than ecstatic to get started again. I pulled into the parking lot and parked. I got out and made my way inside. Zoe was a mess behind the counter and once again guilt surged through me.

“Hey,” I smiled trying to hide the fact that I just betrayed her as well.

“Hey,” she mumbled.

“Are you okay?” I asked, sympathetically.

She shrugged. “As okay as I can be. Brian dumped me last night. I called you but you never answered. Zack called me in a panic. What the hell happened?”

“I know he did. He talked to me about it. I was overwhelmed last night, got wasted, and woke up on a friend’s couch.” There was no way in hell I was going to tell her I woke up at Brian’s. She would freak.

“Why were you overwhelmed?” She asked.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”

“Well, Lex, I can listen. Explain.” She urged.

I shook my head. “I can’t. It’s not because I can’t tell you. I just don’t want to talk about it right now. I’ll tell you in time when I’m ready to deal with it, okay?”

She sighed in defeat. “Fine. You have tons of clients to catch up on. You might want to go say hi to Ian before you get started though. I’m sure he missed you.” I nodded as confirmation and made my way to Ian’s office. I knocked twice and opened the door.

“Hey, Ian. I’m back.” I smiled at him.

“Lex, I’m so glad. Did you’re trip go well?” He asked.

“Yes, it was beautiful.”

“I bet. I’ve always dreamt of going to Italy.”

“Well maybe that can happen someday.” I smiled.

“Me leave Huntington? Psh, yeah right. I live and breathe this city.” I laughed.

“That is very true, my friend.”

“Well I’m glad you’re back. Now I need you to catch up on your clients.”

I saluted him. “Yes, sir.” He chuckled and I made my way to my station. I set everything back up and got ready for my first client. I was going to try and get as many in today as I could. I was way behind and I had no idea how I was going to catch up.

An hour into a client, I heard a knock at my door. I looked up and saw Brian.

“Brian? What are you doing here?”

“I tried your place, but Zack said you were here.”

“And you didn’t feel Zack’s wrath?” I laughed at myself.

“He was pretty short with me and told me that he better not ruin his marriage, but that’s about it.”

I sighed. “Um, let me finish up this tat and I’ll talk.”

“Okay, how long do you think it’ll take?”

“Um, forty-five minutes.”

“Okay, I’m going to go get coffee. Zoe’s eyes are daggers.”

I laughed. “Okay, see you in a bit.” He walked out and I continued the tattoo. Once I finished, I made my way to the front and Zoe instantly started asking questions.

“Why was he here looking for you?”

“We just have some talking to do.”

“Don’t tell me something happened with you guys.”

“God, Zoe. Really?”

“Well what am I supposed to think? He breaks up with me and then shows up here looking for you.”

“We’re friends. I’m married. Did you forget that?” I huffed. “There’s no use in explaining this.” I shook my head and walked out. I saw Brian’s car parked next to mine and that familiar guilt came flowing back. I smiled at him as he got out of the car.

“Hey.” He sighed.

“Hey.”

“We need to talk.”

“Yeah, I know. I figured I would call you after I was done working.”

“Oh, well is it okay if we talk now?”

I nodded. “Yeah, it’s better to do it now than never.”

“What do you remember from last night?” He asked.

“I just remember being really upset about… something. I was crying on the staircase and you came up and were really sympathetic and comforting and I asked you to get me a drink; something potent. You did so and I drank… a lot. I was telling you stories about Zack and I’s honeymoon and Avery and also reminiscing. The last thing I remember telling you is about this shop in Venice I went to.”

He nodded. “That’s about all I remember too.” I sighed.

“We’re fucked, Brian. How am I supposed to go on with this?”

“I don’t know, Lex. I didn’t intend for any of this shit to happen. I was perfectly fine with going on the path of getting over you and the next thing I fucking know you’re naked in my bed.”

“What if we didn’t even have sex, Brian?”

“Don’t be naïve, Lex. You know damn well we did.”

“Yeah, I know. I just feel so guilty, but I can’t tell Zack. I’m not going to fuck up my marriage.”

“Why aren’t you pissed off like last time?”

I looked at him. “What?”

“Last time this happened. Why aren’t you angry?”

“Because it’s not your fault and I wasn’t already pissed off at you.”

“It is my fault though. I could’ve stopped.”

“I threw myself at you.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“I was upset last night because my feelings for you are back. All the drama and shit made me push them down and now that’s all over they’re back.” I leaned up against his car. “I’m sure I told you that last night.”

“You remember?”

I shook my head. “No, but I know what alcohol does to me.”

“Lex, what does this mean?”

“I love you, Bri. I really do. Just as much as I do Zack, but I cannot risk my marriage and my family. I just can’t.”

“So don’t tell anyone. It never happened, okay?”

“But it did and the guilt is already eating at me. How am I supposed to look at my husband if I love another man?”

“Lex, you can do this. I will keep my distance. I will leave you alone until you are sure that you’re over it. I don’t want to hurt Zack and I don’t want to take you away from your family. You’re happy.”

“I thought I was. I still do. I mean I am happy, but I just wish I could have you, too.”

“But you can’t. You committed to my best friend, my band mate.”

I nodded. “I know. Maybe it’s best for you to leave me be for a while. We’ll see each other when we have to.”

He sighed. “If that’s what we gotta do than so be it.”

I turned and looked at him. “I’m sorry, Bri.” I wiped a tear from my cheek. He lifted his hand and stroked my cheek.

“I love you, Lex. Let me know when you’re ready.” He lightly kissed my cheek and opened his car door. I stood there and watched him leave the parking lot. All I wanted right now was to cry, but I had to go back in there and face Zoe.