Zack and I lounged around for only another thirty minutes or so before we got ready for Brian’s party. I really honestly didn’t want to go, but I know Zack wants to go and I want him to be able to have his friends without having to worry about Brian and I sneaking off together. I have to prove to him that nothing will happen between us. After what Zack and I shared, why would I want to throw all that away?

“You ready?” Zack knocked on the bathroom door.

I opened it up and smiled at him. “Yep.” He smiled back and we made our way out of the house and into the car. The car ride to Brian’s was quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. One that I enjoyed highly. Zack held my hand and I stared out of the window smiling to myself. We pulled up in front of his house along with at least six other cars. Once Zack parked, we both got out and made our way inside; not bothering knocking. Everyone was out in the back hanging around the patio and pool, so we made our way out there.

“It’s about damn time you get here!” Val yelled towards me. I smiled at her and just shook my head laughing.

“Sorry we had to make a detour.” I laughed and made my way towards her while Zack made his way towards the guys.

“Ah, it’s about damn time you guys get sex back in your relationship.”

I shrugged. “We went out to lunch and he was just frustrated. We both were, so I made him stop and surprised him a little.”

“You go, girl!”

“So what have you girls been up too?” I asked while cracking open a beer and sitting down next to them.

“Just fucking around.”

“Where’s your sister at?” I asked, actually really curious.

“She’s out with her girlfriends. She’s gonna be here probably in an hour or so.”

“Ah, okay.”

“Yeah, she told me about your guys’ encounter.”

I rolled my eyes. “She’s just a psycho, insecure, bitch.”

“Watch it. She is my sister.” Val laughed.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes. She just needs to chill out on me.”

“She does have a reason to be that way.”

“Well she did have a reason to be that way.”

“She hasn’t been around to know everything that has gone on.”

“It’s not like Brian cheated on her with me. She has nothing to worry about.”

“But she knows about Zoe and all the other shit. You can’t blame her for being so insecure.”

“I’m going to get up now and walk over to my boyfriend before I reget things I say. When you’re done bashing me for my mistakes let me know.” I got up and walked towards Zack.

“Hey, baby.” He smiled at me when I walked up to him.

“Hey.” I half-smiled back at him and sat down.

“What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“What happened?”

“Just leave it at I don’t wanna talk about it, please? I don’t want this night to be ruined.”

“Okay.”

A couple hours passed and the party was in full force. Michelle showed up and was keeping her distance, which I had absolutely no problem with. Brian was also keeping his distance in a way to show respect to Zack. I appreciated that much. Val apologized so I wasn’t avoiding her anymore. Right now, Zack and I were standing together with some of his friends that I haven’t really met, so I don’t recall their names. I just smiled at them and acknowledged them as they proceeding into conversing. I was mega bored, but it was better than sitting at home alone and bored.

Brian’s P.O.V.

I was trying to avoid awkwardness as much as I could with Lex. And the only way I knew how was to avoid her. I still don’t know how I feel about her coming back and what not. I don’t know if I still have those type of feelings for her or if I laid them to rest the last time she was here. I mean if I really did love her I would’ve taken her begging offer right?

“Bri, sweetie, I’m going to go take a dip in the pool.” Michelle smiled at me. I just nodded in response. I don’t even know why I got back with her of all people. I mean I guess I could’ve looked around a bit more. I went back to the one person who made my life miserable with me denying it and ruining everything and everyone around me.

“Hey, man.” Matt walked up to me.

“Hey.” I nodded. “What’s up?”

He shrugged. “Just making my rounds.” I laughed and shook my head and saw out of the corner of my eye, Zack and Lex. Zack had his arm around her and he was whispering something in her ear and she was laughing and blushing and for some damn reason a surge of jealousy went through me. “Brian, dude, what’s wrong?” Matt broke me out of my thoughts.

“Uh, nothing.” I said shaking my head and taking a swig from my beer. I just want these feelings to go away and this is the only way I know how.

“Alright.” He looked at me oddly and then walked passed me and Val shortly after took the place where he was standing.

“It kills you to see them together doesn’t it?” She asked.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“Well when I’m about five feet that way sunbathing and I see you turn and stare at Zack and Lex for an unreasonably amount of time, it is my business.”

I sighed. “I just don’t get all these feelings and shit.”

“Most of the time you won’t get them.” She laughed. “You just have to learn to control and let go of them.”

“How am I going to handle Zack and Lex together like that all the time?”

“Déjà vu, my friend. Haven’t we had this conversation before?”

“Probably, but any advice that I’m taking is obviously not working because I’m still in the same damn position I’ve been in since she came back forever ago.”

“Well are you doing what you want to do? What you feel is right to do?”

“I don’t even know what the fuck to do, Val! I’m confused beyond anything. She was on my front porch a few months ago begging for me to be with her and I turned her down. Why? I don’t fucking know. Now, she’s back with Zack. She claims it’s for good and I honestly feels like she means it and I’m stuck. I feel jealous and guilty. I fucked up. I could’ve had the one thing I’ve always wanted and I just shooed her away.”

“There’s a reason why you shooed her away, Brian.”

“Yeah, the reason is because I can see how much my best friend loves her. I can see it because it’s the same way I love her.”

“Brian, honestly, I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say to that.”

I shook my head. “You don’t have to say anything. Just thank you for listening without judging me.”

“Well you are my best friend, Bri. And I can see how bad this situation is fucking with you. You have to realize though that Lex is in a good place right now. She can’t fuck this up. If she does, there is no turning back. She loves Zack the same way he loves her. I’m sure she loves you, also. We don’t talk much about you because I can’t leave my accusatory attitude out of it. Just please, think about this a long time before you make any decisions. You have my sister back into the picture now, Bri. Please just don’t make any drastic decisions. You could ruin a lot of lives doing so.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I know.” She gave me a quick hug and then ventured on back to where she was “sunbathing”. After she walked away, all I could do was open another beer and drink my feelings away.

Notes

So I have all the way up to chapter 27 written right now. I finally figured out what exactly I wanted to do with this. And I'm happy about it :D The next few chapters will be pretty intense :) Enjoy!

Thank you all to the readers :)