Val insisted that I slept on the thought of me moving out and away from all of them, so I did. However, when I woke up the next morning my feelings still haven’t changed. I was beyond done with everything. I know it’s going to be hard to tell everybody that I’m leaving, but I just think this is the best thing to do. I heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

The door opened and Val walked in. “Hey.” I could tell she had been crying a little.

“Hey.” I said sitting up in the bed.

“How are you feeling?”

“The same as I did last night.”

“So you are leaving?”

“Val, I’m sorry. It has nothing against you or Matt or anybody really. I just think it’s best for me right now. I need to leave my job and I need to get away from Zack and Brian. Staying here will only cause me to see them both and me never fully heal. Zack wants to be a fucking dick so be it, but I won’t stand around and let him walk all over me.”

She nodded. “I understand, Lex.” She wiped her face. “I’ll miss you.”

“Val, I’ll miss you too. I’ll miss you all so much. I hate it that it has come down to this, but I can’t live with this stress. It will only make me spiral into a depression.”

“I know. It is the right thing to do, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.”

“Well neither am I, but I know when I have to do something.”

She nodded. “Well, I told Matt and he’s pretty pissed at Zack, but he invited everyone to come over for an important “meeting” and it’s for you to tell everyone. When do you think you’ll leave?”

“Well, I still have to find an apartment so I have no idea.”

“Well, why don’t you get ready and come out there. After you tell everyone we can go walk down to the pier and get a coffee and look for some apartments.”

“Don’t be mad at me, but I think it’s best if no one knows where I go. I’ll just look myself and get a place where no one will expect me to be.”

She sighed. “Okay, I understand.”

“Alright, let me take a shower and stuff and I’ll be out there.” She nodded and got up and left. I jumped out of bed and grabbed some clothes and went and jumped in the shower.

The whole shower I just couldn’t keep my mind off of everything. I felt terrible for leaving Val. I know it’s going to kill her because I’m her best friend. Hell, she’s my best friend. I know I may be selfish. I was terrified of how everybody was going to react. I know damn well that Zack wasn’t coming so he’ll just find out when I give him the divorce papers. And honestly I’m perfectly fine with that.

I turned off the water and got out. I slipped my clothes on and tied my hair back. I made my way out and put all my stuff up in the room and went into the living room. Everybody was there and all their eyes landed on me when I walked in.

“Why hello guys.” I half-smiled.

“Tell us what the hell is going on.” Brian said.

“Glad to see that they didn’t tell you.”

“Val hasn’t stopped crying, Matt’s pissed and both of them won’t tell us why.”

“I’m leaving.”

“What?” They all jerked their heads towards me.

“I’m done with this shit. I’m sorry, but I’m getting my own place, quitting my job and starting over. I won’t allow any of you to have my address of my new job or my new place. It’s for the best.” Brian got up and stormed out of the house. “Well that was expected.” I sighed.

“Why are you doing this?” Johnny asked.

“Zack came over yesterday and flipped the fuck out because he found out I was staying here. Call it immature if you will. But he said some harsh things and I just want it all to be over. He knows that he can control me with the power of the divorce and I need to be an independent woman.”

“So you’re letting the mother fucker run your life even more? He’s running you out of your life.”

“This is completely my choice. No one is pushing this upon me. I just am tired of being walked on.”

“When are you leaving?” Matt asked.

“I don’t know yet. The moment I find an apartment.”

“We’re going to miss you, Lex.” Johnny said.

“I’ll miss you guys too. I really will. I’m sure a day won’t go by without me thinking of you all. This is just what I got to do.”

“We understand.” Matt said.

“I guess I better go explain to Brian before he flips shit and calls Zack. Oh, yeah. Don’t you guys tell Zack, please. I know it’s going to take a lot, but I don’t want him to file for the divorce. I want too.” They all nodded and agreed to keep quiet and I made my way outside.

“Brian?”

“What?”

“I need to explain before you flip the fuck out.”

“What is there to explain? You’re leaving.”

“Yeah, but you don’t even know why.”

“I’m assuming something happened between you and Zack.”

“Yes, something did. He said some harsh things, but you have to understand that this is my choice. Zack didn’t put me up to this.”

“He pushed you to it, though.”

“And so did you.”

He rolled his eyes. “And here is the shit saying that it’s my fucking fault. Goddammit, Lex, I’m sick of it. You say you don’t want anyone walking all over you, but yet you let every fucking person in your life do it. I’ve tried and tried and tried to fix what we had and every time both of us fucked up. You know what, go ahead leave. Run from everything. You’ll realize later how big of a mistake you are making.”

“This isn’t a mistake.” My voice cracked. “This is the best thing I could do for myself. I need a happy environment. Maybe neither you or Zack is right for me. Maybe the perfect man is still out there. All these horrible things have happened to me since I came back.”

“All those horrible things were in your power. Things happen for a reason. Do you even realize what you’re setting yourself up for? You’re getting up and leaving every fucking friend you have. You want to start over and not be depressed, but you’re going to put yourself in a position where you’re alone. What the fuck are you going to do then?”

“It doesn’t matter what you say. Nothing will change my mind. I’ve made my decision. If I end up depressed, oh well. I act upon what I feel is right and I feel like this is the perfect thing to do.”

“Well then, good riddance.” He looked at me and I don’t think I have ever seen his eyes so cold.

“Please, don’t tell Zack. I want to break the news to him.” He rolled his eyes and walked away towards his car. ***************************************************************************************************************************

The next couple weeks were very awkward and tense. Ever since I made the announcement I was leaving everybody distanced themselves, which I should’ve expected. I finally found an apartment across town. All I had left to do was go over to Zack’s house and have him sign the papers and get my stuff. Oh, and quit my job. I still haven’t put my two weeks in there. I’m really dreading it, but I know I have to do it.

I sighed when I got out of bed. I grabbed my bags I had and packed all my things in it. I put together the room as nice as it was when I got there. I slowly carried all my bags out to my car and went back inside. Matt and Val were sitting on the couch. I sat down in the recliner and sighed once again.

“Well I’m all ready to go.” They both nodded. “Please don’t make this awkward.”

“Well what are we supposed to do?” Matt snapped.

“Wish me luck, say goodbye, I don’t know.”

“Good luck, goodbye.” Matt mocked.

“Well thanks for that.” I said, rudely. “I guess I’m going to go. I wish you guys the best with your marriage and your family. And Matt I wish the band major success with your new album. I love you guys.” I stood up and started walking towards the door.

“Lex, wait.” Val jumped up and walked over to me and grabbed me into a hug. “I’ll miss you. Don’t ever think I won’t be here for you. If you need me, I will still be here. You will still always be my best friend. I hope everything works out how you want it. I love you.”

“Now that’s what I wanted to hear.” I laughed through my tears. “I’ll miss you too Val. I love you too, also. And I appreciate your kind words. You will still be a best friend to me, but we just won’t have connection. Just know I’ll always be thinking of you guys.”

“And the same to you.”

“Goodbye, Val. Bye Matt.” I slowly turned around and walked out. I made my way to the car and I slowly drove away towards my new apartment. And my new life.