The Final Decision
Chapter XI
The next few days went by very slowly and I was miserable. I still hadn’t heard from Zack about if he wanted a divorce or not and I was beginning to worry. Right now everybody was pissed at me and they all had a right to be. I felt like an asshole. Right now Val and Matt are hiding me from Zack. If he knew that I was staying here, he would be pissed at both of them. Today they all were out at the studio and I was home alone thinking about the two things I loved the most… and lost. The door opened and Val came in.
“I took a break to eat, so I brought you some manicotti.” She handed me the container.
“Oh, thank you. How is he?” I asked.
She shrugged. “I’ll be honest with you, he’s pretty miserable.”
“I figured. Man I suck.”
“But he still hasn’t decided on the divorce yet.”
“Well that’s good. Maybe he won’t want it and I can go back to him.”
“Yeah, I know. But, uh, I have something to tell you and I don’t know how you will react.”
“Oh, god, you’re not kicking me out are you?”
“Oh, no! It’s Brian. He wants to see you.”
“Oh, he probably just wants to get fucking lucky.”
“He said that he really needs to apologize for the other day.”
“I don’t need his fucking apology. It isn’t going to make me feel any better. His apology won’t give Avery or Zack back.”
“I know, but he’s trying. Maybe it’ll be good for you to talk to him.”
I sighed. “I guess I have too. He’ll find me either way.”
“Well he came with me. We just said we were going to bring back everyone something so make it quick.” I nodded and she walked out and a minute later Brian walked in.
“Hey.” He said sitting down on the other couch.
“What do you want?”
“I just wanted to apologize.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Lex, don’t be like that. You know what I did was for the best.”
“It obviously wasn’t.” I snapped. “I lost my husband and my daughter and it all started because you had to act the way you did. If you would’ve acted fine when I was there Zack would’ve never caught on and he wouldn’t have flipped a bitch and I wouldn’t have left. If I wouldn’t have left then I would have my daughter at home with me, but instead everything went wrong.”
“That’s not my fault, Lex. Things happen for a reason. What I did was to avoid any further confrontations with you about it. I wanted to let go of you not hurt you.”
“Well instead you took everything that had any meaning to me away.”
“I didn’t take shit away! Your mother should’ve watched your daughter better and you should’ve told Zack the truth the day it fucking happened.”
“I was going to just forget that it fucking happened until you had to act like that. I forgot, though, everything has to be perfect in your world. You couldn’t have the memory of me cheating on Zack with you. You couldn’t sit and act like it was all okay because you wanted to put on this façade as if it was my entire fault. You couldn’t be the bad guy.”
“What do you want from me?! I came to apologize, but instead you fucking bash me.”
“I want you to give me back what you took. I want you to stop acting like it was all my fault and own up to your mistakes also. I want you to realize what exactly you have done to me.”
“You don’t think I do realize?” I shook my head.
“No, no I don’t.”
“Well then you need a fucking reality check. I was miserable the day that you came into the studio. That was why I was acting that way. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make a fucking scene in front of everyone. That would only make things more obvious and then when Zack came in freaking out I knew that he already knew what happened and there was no use in hiding it anymore. He fucking punched me and yet my heart ached more than that. I knew I fucked up. I knew I let go of the one thing that ever made me happy. I regret letting you sleep with me. I wish I was in the right state of mind at the time to tell you no, but I wasn’t and neither were you. Now all this blaming each other for shit needs to stop. It’s both of our faults; Zack’s too.”
“I just want everything back to normal. Why can’t all this be fucking easy?”
“Because you’ve made wrong decisions and you have to deal with the consequences. We all have to deal with it. Zack’s miserable. He wants you back. He was pissed at me, but has gotten over it. He feels the same way as you do. He wants everything back to normal.”
“So then why doesn’t he fucking come over here and ask for me to move back in? We could easily just drop all of this shit.”
“No, it’s not that easy. You’ve cheated on him twice now with me. He thinks it’ll happen again. He has to thoroughly think this over.”
“Hasn’t he already? Fuck.”
“It’s only been a few days. You have to be patient.”
“Fuck patience.”
“Guys, we have to go.” Val said opening the door.
“Okay, I’m coming.” Brian said to her. “Look, I’ll see what I can do, but I know I’m not going to get anything through that thick skull of his.”
“Well you can try. Just let him know that I’m sorry. I really am and that I love him more than anything.”
“Will do.” And with that he got up and walked out and I was left yet again, alone.
“I took a break to eat, so I brought you some manicotti.” She handed me the container.
“Oh, thank you. How is he?” I asked.
She shrugged. “I’ll be honest with you, he’s pretty miserable.”
“I figured. Man I suck.”
“But he still hasn’t decided on the divorce yet.”
“Well that’s good. Maybe he won’t want it and I can go back to him.”
“Yeah, I know. But, uh, I have something to tell you and I don’t know how you will react.”
“Oh, god, you’re not kicking me out are you?”
“Oh, no! It’s Brian. He wants to see you.”
“Oh, he probably just wants to get fucking lucky.”
“He said that he really needs to apologize for the other day.”
“I don’t need his fucking apology. It isn’t going to make me feel any better. His apology won’t give Avery or Zack back.”
“I know, but he’s trying. Maybe it’ll be good for you to talk to him.”
I sighed. “I guess I have too. He’ll find me either way.”
“Well he came with me. We just said we were going to bring back everyone something so make it quick.” I nodded and she walked out and a minute later Brian walked in.
“Hey.” He said sitting down on the other couch.
“What do you want?”
“I just wanted to apologize.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Lex, don’t be like that. You know what I did was for the best.”
“It obviously wasn’t.” I snapped. “I lost my husband and my daughter and it all started because you had to act the way you did. If you would’ve acted fine when I was there Zack would’ve never caught on and he wouldn’t have flipped a bitch and I wouldn’t have left. If I wouldn’t have left then I would have my daughter at home with me, but instead everything went wrong.”
“That’s not my fault, Lex. Things happen for a reason. What I did was to avoid any further confrontations with you about it. I wanted to let go of you not hurt you.”
“Well instead you took everything that had any meaning to me away.”
“I didn’t take shit away! Your mother should’ve watched your daughter better and you should’ve told Zack the truth the day it fucking happened.”
“I was going to just forget that it fucking happened until you had to act like that. I forgot, though, everything has to be perfect in your world. You couldn’t have the memory of me cheating on Zack with you. You couldn’t sit and act like it was all okay because you wanted to put on this façade as if it was my entire fault. You couldn’t be the bad guy.”
“What do you want from me?! I came to apologize, but instead you fucking bash me.”
“I want you to give me back what you took. I want you to stop acting like it was all my fault and own up to your mistakes also. I want you to realize what exactly you have done to me.”
“You don’t think I do realize?” I shook my head.
“No, no I don’t.”
“Well then you need a fucking reality check. I was miserable the day that you came into the studio. That was why I was acting that way. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make a fucking scene in front of everyone. That would only make things more obvious and then when Zack came in freaking out I knew that he already knew what happened and there was no use in hiding it anymore. He fucking punched me and yet my heart ached more than that. I knew I fucked up. I knew I let go of the one thing that ever made me happy. I regret letting you sleep with me. I wish I was in the right state of mind at the time to tell you no, but I wasn’t and neither were you. Now all this blaming each other for shit needs to stop. It’s both of our faults; Zack’s too.”
“I just want everything back to normal. Why can’t all this be fucking easy?”
“Because you’ve made wrong decisions and you have to deal with the consequences. We all have to deal with it. Zack’s miserable. He wants you back. He was pissed at me, but has gotten over it. He feels the same way as you do. He wants everything back to normal.”
“So then why doesn’t he fucking come over here and ask for me to move back in? We could easily just drop all of this shit.”
“No, it’s not that easy. You’ve cheated on him twice now with me. He thinks it’ll happen again. He has to thoroughly think this over.”
“Hasn’t he already? Fuck.”
“It’s only been a few days. You have to be patient.”
“Fuck patience.”
“Guys, we have to go.” Val said opening the door.
“Okay, I’m coming.” Brian said to her. “Look, I’ll see what I can do, but I know I’m not going to get anything through that thick skull of his.”
“Well you can try. Just let him know that I’m sorry. I really am and that I love him more than anything.”
“Will do.” And with that he got up and walked out and I was left yet again, alone.
Update soon please. I love this story.
4/30/17