It’s been three months since I tried to kill myself, ninety days, it’s weird to even think that I tried to do that, but I have the scars on my wrists to prove that I did.

But it’s okay because I’m okay now, in fact I’m better than okay, I’m fantastic now, Zacky and I’s relationship is proving to be better than ever, he’s so sweet and caring and we’re both working on listening to each other now, which means our relationship has come a long way in the past few months.

I’ve also realised that, brace yourselves, although yes I did have feelings for Brian for a long time, they were actually masking the feelings that I’d had for Zacky that had been there pretty much since we were kids, I’d been so hopelessly in love with my best friend and I’d never actually realised it. My love for Brian was different than the love for Zacky that was only really skin deep, and now I realised that we would have never been anything more than friends anyway, he loves Michelle and I was never going to change that.

I also kept getting really weird phone calls and hate mail in the mail, which Zacky found out about in the end and he went ape shit, called their manager and he went mental too, they both asked me why I didn’t say anything beforehand about it because some of the shit I was getting in the mail was like, proper death threats, they never actually figured out who it was because it stopped after the band issued an official statement that said any hate mail received would be given directly to the cops and it’d be done for prints and that kind of thing, I guess whoever it was had some common sense after all.

I’d also taken up writing, nothing major, well I did gig reviews, Matt had come across some of the old stuff I wrote in high school in a box in his and Val’s attic (why it was up there I will never know) and he’d spoken to one of the writers at AP Magazine, and boom I was suddenly a very sought after writer doing all sorts of gig reviews and interviewing bands, it was a fantastic job and I got a pretty good pay packet too, plus I got to meet all sorts of interesting people.

Right now I was working on a gig review for the band Motionless in white , they’d played a show last night and I went along and saw them, and although screamo isn’t really my thing they actually know how to put on a really good show, and I got to speak to Chris, the singer and Ricky, the guitarist after the show, and we did a quick interview and they were really nice guys, they even got the whole hand to sign a copy of their album for me which I promised I would take home and listen to, which I actually did, and like I said, although screamo isn’t usually my thing, some of the songs are actually pretty good!

“Hey beautiful” I heard Zacky said from behind me. I turned around to see him in just a pair of board shorts and his sneakers; his chest was kind of sweaty too so I could only assume he’d been working out.

“Hey handsome” I said turning back to the computer and continuing to type up my article.

“Is this for the band you saw last night?”

“Yeah” I said “They’re actually pretty good”

“Hmm I see you made quite the impression, signed copy of their album?”

“I’m just good at my job” I grinned at him.

“Mmm I know you are” He smiled down at me and leaned down, kissing me softly, I blushed and bit my lip.

“You’re all sweaty” I said to him.

“I know, I was working out” He flexed his muscles, I snorted with laughter. “What?”

“Nothing you just make me smile” I said

“I’m gonna go shower, so I’ll be back in a bit”

“Okay, I love you!”

“Love you too babe!”

I finished typing up my article and emailed it off to my boss before I got up and tidied the apartment up a little bit, we’d been looking at houses now and I found a few that I liked but I didn’t know what Zacky thought of them, he’d just walk around the house with me and nod occasionally, he’d never really been that kind of shopper anyway and I accepted that.

I was in the kitchen making a sandwich when I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist, I smiled as he kissed the back of my neck that was exposed due to the fact my hair was up in a ponytail today. He sighed and resting his chin on my shoulder as I carried on making something to eat.

“I love you Riley, so much” He said tenderly.

“I love you too Zacky” I sucked a bit of sauce from my finger and put it back in the
cupboard.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can” I turned around in his arms.

“If I hadn’t… I hadn’t asked you to marry me, would you have… done what you did?” I frowned.

“That’s a difficult question to answer Zacky” I said he nodded and chewed his lip.

“But I don’t think I would have, I don’t know… but I think now, three months on I’m in a much better place mentally than I was then”

“So if I asked you… again… what would you say?”

“Again I don’t know”

“When I asked you originally, I was thinking more along the lines of running away to Vegas to get married, church weddings are boring” He stated matter of factly.

“A Vegas wedding huh?”

“Yeah, I thought you’d prefer the idea too if we ever did get married”

“I do”

“Yea—what?”

“I do prefer the idea, let’s go”

“T-To Vegas?”

“Yes Zacky, c’mon let’s go have a shotgun wedding”

“I love you” He said with a laugh as he pulled me toward the front door.

“I love you too, now come on Baker” I grinned at him “Let’s go get married”

Notes

Title credit: Summertime - My Chemical Romance.

Whelp there you have it guys, done and dusted, there is a sequel which is this story told from Zacky's POV, I will post that at some point, but I'm not sure when, but for now, keep on shining you crazy diamonds!

Fiona 
xoxo