Forbidden love, Hidden lust

I sat there looking at Zaylyn, as she watched the guys act like complete retards. I slipped my hand underneath the table and grabbed her hand, locking fingers with mine. She looked over and smiled at me, as her grip tightened against my hand. Our gaze was broken, when a beach ball, that Jimmy had thrown, knocked over her coke into her lap.

"Jimmy, You fucker!" she yelled. " Your ass is mine!" She got up and took off after him. "I want an apology!" she screamed. I smiled at them, getting along so well. I sat there and watched them for a few before, realizing that I had a mess to clean up. I got up and grabbed the pizza boxes, walking into the house.

I looked around the kitchen. It was a disaster area. It looked like a fucking tornado had just came through. I decided that I would clean up a little bit. I knew that she was safe out there with the guys.

After cleaning up the kitched, I went for the living room. I cleaned everything up, and even vacuumed, before heading back to the kitchen grabbing a rag to clean the table on the patio.

When I got to the sliding, glass door, I looked out to see Zaylyn and Brian talking. His arm was wrapped around her with his hand rested on her lower back. I felt the muscles in my arms start to tighten as I balled my hand into a fist, causing my knuckles to turn white. I watched as he reached up and brushed her hair behind her ear. This crawled all over me. She was mine. I walked out the door toward them.

"Hey, man." Brian said turning to me.

"You son of a bitch!" I swung at him, knocking him into the sand. "You keep your fucking hands off of her!" I grabbed Zaylyn's arm, pulling her toward the house.

Once inside, I sat down at the bar. I was so fucking pissed, I could have chewed fucking nails.

"Zack, What the fuck was that?" she yelled. I looked at her. I was really mad.

"What the fuck do you think you were doing, Zay?" I shouted. "You're a fuckingliar. You knew that I didn't want you being that way with him."

"What way?" I glared at her.

"Oh please. Don't fucking act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Being all loved dovey bullshit." I really didn't want to look at her at that point.

"Zack, it wasn't even like that." she explained.

"Well it sure as hell looked like you were into him, to me." I spat.

"You had no right doing what you did to him." she stated. I looked at her with the rage boiling inside.

"You know what, Zaylyn? If you're that fucking worried about it then just go be with him then."
I shot. "Take this." I threw a rag at her. "Go wash the blood off his face and wipe his fucking tears." She looked at me and her face softened. She finally got the idea that I was really pissed at her.

"Zack." she said reaching out to touch me.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I shouted. "I should have known that I would get done this way. It's always about Brian. Every fucking time." I kicked the bottom of the bar. "He's the sexier one.
He plays guitar better than I do. I'm just the guy in the back, living in his shadow."

"Zack, that's not true." she tried to make me feel better. I wasn't buying it.

"No. Don't even try to make me feel better. You knew what you did was going to hurt me and you did it anyway." I let a tear fall freely down my cheek. "You really don't give a fuck about my feelings for you, do you?"

"Yes. I do." she stated, on the verge of tears. I rolled my eyes to, what I thought was, fake sympathy.

"I'm a fucking fool." I punched the granite counter top. "I'm a fucking fool for ever believeing that this was real. I should have known."

"I'm sorry." she walked toward me. I backed away.

"You stay the hell away from me, Zay." I walked over toward the stairs. "Get out of my sight."

I stood there and watched as she let tears fall down her face, then turning and walking out the door, back to the beach. It hurt that I loved her. I didn't know what to do about that. A giant part of me wanted to die. I felt like I had lost my best friend. Maybe I did.

I ran upstairs to the bathroom and jumped in the shower, washing the sand and salt from my body. I just stood there, thinking about Zaylyn and how bad I had just hurt her. I was crying on the outside, but on the inside I wanted her to feel as bad as I did.

Notes