I laid in bed texting Jimmy, him telling me how excited he was about the date and all of that. I was happy about it until me and my brother had that fight and now, I wasn’t so happy. Jimmy said that he would come and pick me up at midnight and I was supposed to stay up till then.
“Deanna?” I heard someone knock on the door. I didn’t want to talk to anyone but I had no choice, at least it wasn’t my brother.
“Yeah?” I asked. I held the pillow closer to myself and sighed, curling my legs underneath myself. I didn’t want anyone near me, I didn’t even want to go on this date now. My brother was going to freak out on me anyways and he was going to hate me for dating his best friend. If I was caught, I was going to be dead before I even get home.
The door opened and I saw Brian coming inside and he had this beautiful smile on his face. I didn’t smile back, I just put my head back onto the pillow and looked towards the bathroom door as I head the bedroom door close lightly. I cuddled closer to my pillow, wiping away the tears from my cheeks and he came and sat down next to me putting his hand on my shoulder.
“What’s wrong honey?” He asked. Did he just seriously ask me that question? Why would he care anyways? He didn’t seem to care or anything because he would of sticked up for me or something. He was standing right there when the fight happened, so why in the world was he asking what was wrong?
“Just go away Brian,” I said, even though I didn’t want to say that, I did. I wanted Brian here though, I wanted someone to just agree with me about my stupid brother but that wasn’t going to work. I know it wouldn’t for the simple fact that Brian is my brother’s best friend.
“Deanna…look you were right about your brother I mean, your eighteen now, you can do what ever the heck it is you want but he also has a point hun,” I looked at him seeing that he was being honest with me but still, I didn’t think my brother had a point. He had no point at all. My brother was doing this just to be annoying and to be my boss which I didn’t like at all. I had a mother and a father who were my boss, he was just supposed to be a brother, not like our father.
“It’s stupid Brian, I am sick and tired of him treating me like I was six I never me-” I stopped mid sentence. When I did that, something clicked. Memories from the past came back making me feel guilty about all of this. I know why my brother was acting like this but he didn’t have to stop me from dating people.
“Deanna?” Brian questioned, “Honey what’s wrong?” He asked me. I sat up and got off of my bed and looked to Brian.
“Nothing,” I said and put my finger up to my mouth just thinking. The past was making me more worried actually, I got why my brother was acting like this but then again, he could just back off just a bit. I need to breath and I couldn’t breath when he is like this.
“Dinner!” My brother called up the stairs. I sighed and looked to Brian who was looking at me worried. I gave him a small smile to know that I was fine when in fact I wasn’t at all fine. The past was creeping back up to me and it was actually scaring me. Going on this date with Jimmy was scaring me and I was thinking about not doing it. Brian and I came down the stairs and I tried my beset to be happy around my brother, to pretend that nothing at all just happened but of course, being my big brother, he saw right past that.
“Sissy, what’s wrong?” My brother asked gently. I looked up to my brother and shrugged, trying to pass the ‘I don’t know’ card to him, which of course he didn’t take. He grabbed my hand and brought me into the living room and sat me down onto the couch. He pulled the coffee table up closer to me and grabbed my hands and held them.
“Tell me sissy,” He said gently. His eyes looking into mine, searching, showing me that he was trying to help me, that he wouldn’t be mad but I couldn’t shake the feeling of him going to get mad at me.
“It’s….it’s scary to tell you Johnny,” I whispered. I looked away from him, trying to move my hands but he tightened his grip.
“Just tell me sissy, if I get mad, I won’t yell at you I promise,” I said. From the look in his eyes I knew that he was telling the truth. I inhaled and exhaled.
“Fine…Johnny, I know that you don’t like me dating but….what happened in the past, it’s over you know? And you can’t block me from the world,” I told him. He looked at me and sighed, looking down to our a joined hands. I knew that what happened was hurtful for me and for him actually because he wasn’t there to protect me but, the past was the past.
“Sissy, I am just trying to protect you, I don’t want you to get hurt again. I feel bad that I wasn’t there sissy…that’s why…and because guys are jerks-”
“Just like you?” I growled and jerked my hands away from his. I was going to stand but my brother was to fast.
“I don’t want someone like him to hurt you again, he used you sissy then he stole everything you had and raped you, so tell me if I am a jerk?” He asked me. I sat there in defeat, he was right, he wasn’t being to harsh, I was just getting really annoyed by all of this. But no matter what, I was still going to go out with Jimmy.
“Honey,” my aunt came inside and touched Johnny’s shoulder, “Your dinners are getting cold,” Johnny looked over to her and gave a small nod and looked over to me. He reached out for me hand and I took it, trying to be happy for the rest of the evening but I knew that I could only be happy for Jimmy. Him and only him.