The Red Crayon

Brian was going stir-crazy sitting alone in his big house with nothing to distract him from his thoughts.

He saw it every time he looked in the mirror, every time he passed something in the house that reflected his image back at him. Even though he’d wanted to, he hadn’t gotten out of bed for four days and when Zacky finally made him get up, all he’d done was mope around the house searching for something to do, he hadn’t even showered since the horrible night they were told that Winter and Teddy would be gone from their lives forever. He looked a mess and he knew it, it was a wonder that Zacky could even stand to crawl into bed next to him every night.

There had been some sort of wall put between them now, and his husband had started working later so they wouldn’t have to talk about what happened, which just made Brian feel even more lonely than he had felt before. The final straw for both of them however, was when Zacky finally gave himself the slap in the face he needed to start working things out, and he’d come home early to find Brian and Pinkly on the couch, the man crying like a baby as he watched Cheaper By The Dozen on the large TV in the living room.

“How come they can have twelve kids and I can’t even keep fucking two?” he wailed as he buried his head in the pillow, oblivious to the fact that Zacky was standing near him, Pinkly quickly scampering out of his arms when he attempted to use her as a tissue.
“Baby?” Zacky said uncertainly as he knelt down in front of his husband, who had sprawled himself out across the couch, his feet hanging over the edge. When Brian finally looked up, his eyes were filled with bright tears and his bottom lip was trembling like a small child. Suddenly a small smile crossed his face, the first one in days, and he leant forward if only to make sure that Zacky was still real.

“You came home early?” he asked, almost as a question and Zacky smiled, leaning forward to press a loving kiss to his husband’s lips. He had missed the moments where Brian would just grab him and kiss him, all because he could. There was no stopping them anymore; they could just show everyone how much in love they were.
“I came home to see you Baby. I know I’ve been a terrible husband lately, and I know you’re upset and I should be here for you” Zacky managed to say inbetween kisses as Brian began to push the blanket over his body away from him, pulling Zacky closer than he had in days.

“We’ve both been terrible. Look at me, I’m a mess. I haven’t showered in days, I barely get out of bed just to mope around the house and I’ve got so fucking fat!” Brian mewled, sniffing like he was sick and prodding his finger against the tight muscle of his belly, something that just made Zacky roll his eyes and smile at the younger man, a smile tainting his face.
“You’re still beautiful to me honey. Even if you feel like that” Zacky promised, running his hand through the thick locks of Brian’s hair as the other man smiled, staring up into the pools of green that were staring back down at him lovingly.

“You think so?”

“I know so baby. And speaking of which, I called Matt today, while Kenney was in hospital. He’s going to bring her here in about an hour, and he promised to do whatever he could to get Winter and Teddy back for us, ‘kay? It’s all contract law he says, and there’s got to be a loophole somewhere. First thing tomorrow, he and I are going to the adoption agency to work out how to get our babies back. Anything so I can see you smile again” Zacky replied softly, watching as Brian’s eyes lit up with a tiny spark of hope that they could get their babies back. They kissed again, sweetly and softly as Brian finally pushed the blanket off of his body and glanced down at the sweats he’d thrown on this morning. The ever styled Synyster Gates wearing sweats? What had he turned into?

“You should go shower. Kenney’s gone through enough trauma today without having to smell you as soon as she walks into the house” Zacky smirked as Brian stood up, running his hands through his hair and grimacing.
“On one condition” Brian mumbled, wrapping his arms around Zacky’s body and giving him a quick Eskimo kiss as he bit as his lip slightly.
“What?”
“You shower with me”

Zacky rolled his eyes, but let himself be dragged up the stairs by his husband, pressing chaste kisses to each other’s skin as clothes were left in a suspicious trail all the way to the bathroom, where Brian locked the door, glancing outside as if to check that there was no one else watching them. But the house was empty.
An hour later, and both Brian and Zacky were showered, fucked out thanks to Brian loving shower sex more than anything, and cuddling on the couch. Happily perched on Zacky’s lap, Brian felt better than he had in days, not just that his husband had come home early from work to spend time with him, but that there was a glimmer of hope that they could get their babies back soon. He wanted nothing more than to hear the sound of their innocent laughter fill the big house again, that seemed so big and unnessacary now that the other two souls who had lived there were gone.

“You guys aren’t fucking on the couch again are you?” Jimmy’s voice suddenly called out, his head sticking around the front door with a loud voice that could be heard from the couch.
“We’re just cuddling Jim Jam. Why do you always assume that we’re at it like rabbits?” Zacky asked as Jimmy bounded into the room, jumping on top of Brian and making himself comfortable on the pile of bodies that had acquired ontop of Zacky, who looked like he was about to pass out under the weight.
"Jimmy get off of me! I can’t breathe!” Zacky choked out as he heard the door close behind him and quickly pushed the tallest man off of the pile and onto the floor, where he rolled over and landed on his back, jumping quickly up to his feet as Brian removed himself from Zacky’s lap.

At that moment, Matt walked in with Kennedy tightly clutching his hand. She didn’t look much different than she had before, just a little paler, a little more exhausted and a bump stuck out of the top of her chest, causing a little bump in her t-shirt. Brian almost leapt out of his seat and knelt down in front of Kennedy, who quickly wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his neck.
“Hey Princess, how’s my favourite little girl doing?” he asked, pressing kisses to her forehead as he picked her up, glancing over at Matt to see if he was hurting her in anyway.

“I have Henry in my chest and I’m a buzzy bee so you’re going to blow up like a balloon!” she explained carefully, chewing the hangnail of her thumb as she spoke, head resting against Brian’s shoulder and her eyes slipped closed a little.
“Are you tired Princess? Also, Matthew, I didn’t understand a word of that- can you translate?” Brian asked, bringing a smile to Matt’s face for the first time all day and he patted Kennedy’s back, running his hand over her head of blonde curls.
“She had a Catheter put in her chest today. It’s just another way to give her the Chemo she needs. Her nurse Suzy is great with kids and has a little team of Suzy’s Buzzy Bees. You’re allergic so…” he trailed off, leaving Brian to work out the rest. In his arms, Kennedy was snuffling, but almost dead asleep on his shoulder.

“I’ll go and put her down in our bed for a nap. Then we can talk about the reason my husband summoned you here” Brian said with a smile, winking at Zacky and disappearing out of the living room, softly singing a lullaby to Kennedy so she’d fall asleep quicker.
“So tomorrow. How exactly do you plan on getting hold of the contract that the two of you signed to become guardians to the twins?” Matt asked, slipping on his lawyer mask and leaving behind the scared and tired father that he’d turned into overnight for his daughter.

“You could break in through the windows like a ninja!” Jimmy suggested from his position on the floor, his legs stuck up in the air like a teenager. As Brian walked back in, empty handed and smiling, he wrapped his arms around Zacky and kissed his cheek, head falling onto his shoulder.
“We’re just going to march in and get that damn contract. We need this Mattie, we need it to stay sane” Zacky said, feeling the weight of the man behind him making his heart sink with the knowledge that they may never see the twins again.

“We need to do this for the babies we love so much.”

Notes