Tuck had spent the last three days sleeping on his mother’s couch, he was that desperate. He hadn’t seen Matt for at least a week, and the last time he’d pressed a kiss to the other man’s lips was just before they parted ways on Christmas Eve. Faithfully, he’d taken Alex to school every single day, in the hope of cornering Jimmy and asking him where Matt was and when he could see him, but every day, the man had been strangely absent, leaving his TA in charge. This in itself only worried Matt further, wondering what had happened to his old friend, and possibly, his new lover.
So it was a strange sort of surprise when he opened the door in the middle of a bright Saturday afternoon to find Jimmy on his doorstep, beckoning him towards the car in the driveway.

“Come on, we’re going to see Matt. He needs your help” Jimmy had explained and as Tuck quickly locked up the house, thankful that his mom had taken Alex out to the beach for the day, he followed Jimmy outside.

They drove in silence for a while, Jimmy staring blankly at the road in front of him while he waited for Matt to eventually ask him how the other man was doing, and what had been happening. Truth was since Kennedy’s diagnosis, he hadn’t left the apartment. He’d spent hours on the internet researching the cancer, and what Kennedy would have to go through to make sure that it went away and she didn’t go into remission, but he looked like one of the walking dead. Every night, he fell asleep with Kennedy in his arms, clutching tightly at her little stomach like she was wasting away underneath him.

“What’s going on then, Jimmy? I haven’t heard from anyone since Christmas, it’s worrying me” Tuck said softly as Jimmy stopped at the red light on the intersection, taking a deep breath as he did so. He’d had a hard enough time trying to cope with the illness himself, especially seeing as it struck a nerve deep inside of him. Gabby had had ALL, and now God hated him so damn much he was going to take away someone else with the same disease.

“Matt’s not been so great. Kennedy got sick a few days ago, and they transferred her to the hospital. They ran some tests and…she has Leukaemia. She doesn’t start the Chemotherapy for another month, but Matt hasn’t left the apartment in weeks. We’re all worried about him, but we’re more worried for Kennedy’s health” he said softly, making the turning off to the block of apartments he lived in and pulled into his parking spot, noting that beside him was Brian’s BMW. Obviously one of them or all four of them had made their way up here to check on Matt. Ellen was out of town with her family and the apartment had been strangely quiet for the last few days, which was what had prompted Jimmy to bring Tuck here with him.

The pair of them rode up the elevator in silence, and that was the way that it remained until Jimmy unlocked the door and found Matt dressed and showered for the first time in weeks, sat on the couch tearing a tissue into little bits that floated down onto the carpet as they fell out of his fist. Brian was sat next to him with Kennedy on his lap, pictures of Winter and Teddy in his hands. She hasn’t seen them since Christmas and they’ve already grown. As Brian looked up, he smiled at Tuck and nodded at Jimmy, who pointed at Matt with a smirk and led the other man into the living room.
“What did it take for you to get Matt to shower? I tried everything, even bribing him with cash” Jimmy mumbled as Tuck stood awkwardly behind him and Brian shrugged, lifting Kennedy into his arms and standing up.

“It’s my womanly charm, Sullivan. Come on, I think it’s better if we leave these two in private for a minute” Brian smiled as the two of them disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the other two alone for the first time in weeks.
It took Tuck a moment to walk forwards and sit down next to Matt, who couldn’t even look the other man in the eye it was that painful. Matt hated himself for not trying to connect to the other man, who had helped him this far, why would he want to talk to someone who had ignored him for all this time?

“You didn’t need to come today, you know” Matt mumbled as he watched Tuck out of the corner of his eye. The other man was twisting his fingers around, when suddenly his hand reached out and folded with Matt’s, clutching it tightly. It was a small and simple gesture but it was enough to make Matt want to dissolve into tears again.
“Oh, but I did. Not only did Jimmy tell me that you haven’t left the apartment in weeks, but he told me why you’ve been cooped up in here for so long” Tuck replied softly, and it was all it took for tears to prick at the bottom of his eyes, and soon his head was buried in the other man’s neck, tears slowly trickling down his pale cheeks.

“There’s nothing I can do about it, Tuck! I want to save Kennedy, and I want to make sure she lives to see the whole world the way I did. But now…she’s got to go through all this horrible medical shit that might kill her rather than the leukaemia. I’m scared out of my fucking mind for her. She’s the only thing that kept me going through all those years in prison, and now I’m going to lose her all over again” he wailed and Tuck wrapped his arms around the other man and held him tightly, his heart breaking into tiny little pieces. He didn’t want to see him sad, he didn’t want to watch him cry over something that was impossible to fix.
“I know baby, I know” Tuck whispered, to which Matt looked up, his eyes narrowing.

Emotional and stressed were never a good combination, but this man who had been nothing but loving to him knew absolutely nothing about what it was like to have a child slipping out of your grasp so quickly.
“No, you don’t know Tuck! You don’t know what it’s like to wake up every morning and have to check to see if your child is still alive in the next room! You don’t know what it’s like to have to listen to doctors predict how long they have left or what kinds of drugs their going to be pumping into her! She’s a child, and you have no fucking idea what it’s like!” Matt yelled out, wrenching himself away from the other man and standing up, knowing that the other man coming here was a terrible idea.

“But I do” Tuck began softly, not even getting up from his spot on the couch. “When Alex was born, he was born three months early. The doctors didn’t know if he was going to make it or not, and he was about as small as my fist. Every single day I sat in that hospital beside his mother and my son and waited for them to say he was OK. I lost my job, I lost my home and everything I owned and eventually, I lost my wife too. But I didn’t care, because I had Alex and he made it. So I know what it’s like Matt, to have that constant fear that death is just around the corner, and you have no right to tell me I don’t” he finished a little louder than he’d begun and stood up, grabbing Matt and kissing him roughly, arms tangling around his neck as the two of them held each other, tears tracking down both of their faces.

As they broke away, Tuck looked at Matt, who was wearing the same guilty expression he’d worn many times before, and wiped away one of the escaping tears with the pad of his thumb.
“Back then I didn’t have anyone supporting me. I would have given my left leg for someone like you. Let me help you, baby. I don’t want you to go through this on your own” Tuck whispered as he brushed the tears away, Matt’s muscular arms wrapping around his torso, holding them both together tightly.

“OK” was all Matt had to say in reply, before the two men fell silent, holding each other in the weak January sunshine.
And in the kitchen, where Kennedy was comparing experiments from a bowl of Fruit Loops to one of Cocoa Puffs, Brian and Jimmy smiled at each other.

Their Master Plan had worked out perfectly- and now maybe Matt wouldn’t be so terrified of what Kennedy was about to face.