I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. It seemed like I ran out of my own tears. My gaze went from my hands to the sun that was beginning to set in the distant horizon over the blue painted ocean. Seeing my mom like that and me being the one to have to point my gun to her head and end all the suffering she went through was like I blown my own head off. I picked myself up from the ground along with the machine gun and started the long walk back to the house. Once I was in the driveway, the memories of walking back to the house when I was kid and my mother greeting me with a cold glass of sweet tea just made fresh tears spring into my lifeless and red eyes. I cleared my throat and shook the memory from my head and continued up the driveway. I looked and seen they had finished putting up the fence like promised and the barbed wire would keep anything with any sense at all out of this property.

I pulled open the front door and stepped into the quiet home. It never used to be this quiet when I was younger. It used to be full of laughter and happiness. Now it's full of dread and sadness. I qiuetly shut the door and made my way into the kitchen where Brian sat drinking a cup of coffee. He looked as if he had just woken up. I set the machine gun on the counter and grabbed a cup from the cabinet and filled it with the wakening liquid.

"I asked Dante to keep watch with me tonight that way you can get some sleep."

"Thanks Brian but I don't need any sleep." I said filling up my cup again.

"Oh yes you do." I looked over and seen Felicity standing in the doorway. I sighed and set the cup down next to my weapon.

"I'll be fine staying up until midnight." I said shaking my head at her.

"No you won't. I know how you're feeling Serenity and don't even think about opening your mouth and saying anything different. Please just go upstairs and get some rest." I grabbed my weapon knowning that I wouldn't win this match with my sister. I picked up the cup and handed it to her before she patted my back lovingly and kissed my cheek. I pulled myself away from them and I trudged up the stairs and into my room. I get the gun down on my old dresser and went over to my bed and laid down and stared up at the chipping black paint on the ceiling.

I don't think I've ever felt so low to the ground as I do right now. If I had just went back to the house when I stopped and heard those screams...maybe mom would be alive right now and running with Felicity and me. I feel as if I'm buried alive with the guilt that plagues my entire body and soul. I'm a victim of a crime. I loved my mother so much and if I could go back in time and fix all this shit...I would do it in a fucking heartbeat. It's going to be a good long while before I even begin to feel like myself again...if I ever do.

Notes

comments?

Yeah I know it's short but I hope ya'll like this.

to GodHatesUs: I loved that comment! When I read it, I was absolutely laughing as hard as anyone could. There were literally tears coming out of my eyes.