I stood there and stared at my mother as she painfully crawled closer to me. I was pulled in different directions in my mind. Should I point this gun at my own mother and take her life or run away? I always thought someone else had killed her...I never wanted to see her crawling on the ground and looking up at me with the eyes of the dead and wanting to taste the flesh of a living person. I just couldn't fathom that into my mind. I guess I didn't want to believe it. I walked closer to her and she reached out with her one arm looking like a sick and dying animal and I knew what I had to do.

"I'm sorry mom..." I said placing the end of the barrel to her skull before closing my eyes and pulling the trigger. I opened my eyes and looked down upon her body as it laid there on the grass of our yard so lifeless. I threw my weapon away and dropped to my knees in a fit of sobs. I pulled the body of my mother into my lap and held her wishing I had another alternative of dealing with this shit but I knew there was no other way. I petted the matted head of hair of my mother like a mother who had lost her child. I placed her back down on the ground and looked at the blood that never should have been covering my white t-shirt or my hands. I felt 2 pairs of hands pull my up off the gound and lead me away from my dead mother and over to the steps of the back porch. I stared at the body as it laid only a few feet away from me.

"Serenity?" I looked up into the eyes of Brian.

"You had no other choice."

"I had several choices...I could have stopped all of this from ever happening. I could have made them come with me and Felicity when we first had to leave...She didn't deserve to die this way!" I said almost yelling as another round of tears escaped my eyes.

"Let's get you cleaned up and we will finish putting up the fence and wrapping it in barbed wire." I made no objections as Brian pulled me to my feet and led me into the house. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I know my mother was the victim in this whole situation but I can't help feel like I'm the victim. I grabbed an old rag from the drawer and began washing the blood from my skin and watching the blood run down the drain like it was nothing to be concerned with. I propped myself on the counter as tears flew from my eyes as I remembered all the good days we had before this fucking epidemic even started. I looked into the mirror again and seen nothing but a killer staring back at me. I raised my fist and smashed it into the mirror with so much force it broke into peices. My hands shook with anger, frustration, and sadness all rolled into one broken body.

I left the bathroom after cleaning the wounds I had sustained from the mirror and I went into my room and changed clothes and let them sit there on the hard floors. I grabbed my cigarettes from my pocket of the jeans and made my way out to the back porch where I watched Felicity and the others dig a hole in the ground and gently place her body in there. I lit up a smoke and went off and to the truck where I detached the Machine gun from the bed and wrapped a couple of belts around my body and I made my way back around to the grave where they hadn't covered her with the dirt yet. I stood there looking down into the grave at my mother's mutilated body. I unclasped the necklace she gave me and I let it slide off my hand and into the grave where it landed directly over her heart. I backed away from the grave and left the presence of everyone as I walked to the front of the house.

"Serenity!" I stopped dead in my tracks hearing the voice of my sister.

"Where are you going?"

"I just need to walk away from it all right now Felicity. I can't stand looking at anyone right now." I said hanging my head in shame.

"You can't blame yourself for what you had to do. I would have done it..."

"I don't think so Felicity...No one should have to kill their parent because of this stupid fucked up world. Just...leave me alone for a while. I'll be back before sundown." I said before walking away and not looking back at her. I walked to the end of the driveway and down the road I used to walk all the time before all this ever happened to the world. I walked down to our spot on the beach and watched the water lightly crash into the sandy shore. Just the water on the beach...life comes to us and in an instant the ones we love are taken away like it was nothing to us...How can I ever live with what I've done?

Notes

comments?

It was so hard for me to write this chapter because it was so sad....